You know you're a home brewer when?

[beernbourbon]

When you browse home brew talk as much as a teenage girl browses facebook

yep! Busted......

 

[DrunkleJon]

When you have pictures of a 2 year old in a 10 gallon brew kettle to show the scale of your pots to folks at work.

The picture I have of my pot has a 26 year old in it.

 

[insanim8er]

The picture I have of my pot has a 26 year old in it.

The younger ones are better... they're less fatty and the meat is more tender. :cross:

 

[Kirkwooder]

You wanna hear a really weird one? You know how there's so much stuff on youtube about FEMA camps,foreign soldiers being trained in urban warfare to raid our houses,take out guns & put us in camps or worse? I had a dream the night before last that woke me up! I dreamed these soldiers had done just that while I was in my chair upstairs asleep. Running in with machine pistols,killing everyone where they were. I'm upstairs hearing this. From their movements,they shot up my fermenters & everything. Then I hear my gym rat son come up outta the basement,seeing everything & yelling "oh God,NO!". The shots were so vivid I woke up at that point,but not before grabbing my 12 gauge...waiting for the fools to come upstairs...

If this happens to you, seek mental health professional help immediately, as this delusion can become permanently dangerous to you and those in close proximity to you!

 

[unionrdr]

If this happens to you, seek mental health professional help immediately, as this delusion can become permanently dangerous to you and those in close proximity to you!

What I meant was that I broke out the Winchester 12 in my dream,right before I woke up. I don't keep loaded guns in the house. Nor any pistols. Besides,they really do have foreign soldiers training over here. I even got a petition in my e-mail to get them outta this country now!

 

[aStoutObserver]

When "low carb beer" doesn't mean low in carbohydrates to you.

 

[insanim8er]

What I meant was that I broke out the Winchester 12 in my dream,right before I woke up. I don't keep loaded guns in the house. Nor any pistols. Besides,they really do have foreign soldiers training over here. I even got a petition in my e-mail to get them outta this country now!

Well I got an email from Nigeria. You're all in the presence of royalty. Soon I'll have my fortune transferred into my bank account. It only cost me $1000 to get the money released :rockin:

 

[plumber_bob]

Well I got an email from Nigeria. You're all in the presence of royalty. Soon I'll have my fortune transferred into my bank account. It only cost me $1000 to get the money released :rockin:

And when you get that money, I got a bridge I wanna sell you.

pb

 

[insanim8er]

And when you get that money, I got a bridge I wanna sell you.

As long as it's the Brooklyn bridge.... Deal!

 

[unionrdr]

Yeah,I got one like that. But from some Eastern European group. I turned everything into the FBI in Cleveland after the group started harassing me when I questioned them for ID,etc. The FBI agent told me they knew of them & have been after them for some time at that point. I got one from either Nigeria or Kenya once like that too. They must think we're all fat,lazy & stupid. Hey,I'm not stupid...

 

[bluehende]

When you are looking around the car for the hops you have obviously left in the car due to the smell. They have to be cascade. Then you find the grapefruit rind that your wife left in the car.

 

[JDGator]

Use the baby bottle scrub brush to clean beer bottles after wife has told you not to a million times.

 

[biochemedic]

Use the baby bottle scrub brush to clean beer bottles after wife has told you not to a million times.

Been there, done that!

 

[Black Island Brewer]

When you're pouring a bomber of Asahi at the local Japanese restaurant, and pause before letting the last half ounce go in your glass because you're used to holding that back to avoid pouring sediment in.


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I totally did this today pouring a Stone Saison. I paused for a second and then thought "What the hell am I doing?" and drank the rest of the bottle.

 

[worthog79]

Use the baby bottle scrub brush to clean beer bottles after wife has told you not to a million times.

Or when the wife needs to borrow your bottle brush because she broke the baby bottle brush.

 

[Kirkwooder]

When Your looking for a 6er at your local beer retailer,and you choose the Saranac Moonshadow over the CB Alpha Monkey, for the simple reason that the labels from Saranac peel easier!

 

[Codfish]

You feel like you've betrayed the brotherhood by <gasp> buying beer!!! I'm sorry, I'm sorry everything I have made is for a wedding.

 

[Zepth]

You feel like you've betrayed the brotherhood by <gasp> buying beer!!! I'm sorry, I'm sorry everything I have made is for a wedding.

No, no betrayal. Buying gives many opportunities, a few of which I'll mention because I can and we all know them anyways. Try new styles for the total newcomer, like me! Get inspiration for additions into styles that they usually wouldn't fit into. Both those require a few bucks instead of a dedicated batch. And bottle harvest yeast! I happen to have a belgian wit that's about ready for bottling that started off with mystery strain from a belgian bottle. Looks and smells right so far. I should probably look into that a little more closely...

 

[skitter]

I buy when I run out of beer... I make a case of 24 a week... can't keep it in the house long enough not to buy

 

[jd_brewing]

Use the baby bottle scrub brush to clean beer bottles after wife has told you not to a million times.

Yup!


"If you've made something that doesn't offend anybody, you've made Budweiser"
-Augie Carton-

 

[MagooBrew]

Last night while taking a shower I noticed a bottle of my wifes shampoo. The label had "Honeysuckle", "Thick Full Body" and I thought to myself, mmmmm a honeysuckle wheat beer sounds great!

 

[JohnSand]

Last night while taking a shower I noticed a bottle of my wifes shampoo. The label had "Honeysuckle", "Thick Full Body" and I thought to myself, mmmmm a honeysuckle wheat beer sounds great!

You are truly a homebrewer, because those words make me think of other things!

 

[unionrdr]

When something out of the ordinary happens with your fermenting beer & you know what to do to fix it without a second thought...

 

[BreezyBrew]

When something out of the ordinary happens with your fermenting beer & you know what to do to fix it without a second thought...

Yup and you think to yourself, "How do I even know that?"

 

[unionrdr]

It gets to be a Zen thing after a time....

 

[BreezyBrew]

Exactly. It just becomes "the way"

 

[amfukuda]

When you become single and realize you finally have extra money and build this for the heck of it


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[atli126]

when you start with a keg and use your buddies stuff until you build your keezer and get all your own stuff

 

[unionrdr]

When you're out runnin' all day,& what you want for brewing comes dead last...

 

[Setesh]

When you go shopping for house plans with the following requirements:
4 bedroom
3 car garage
brewery
2 story
play room/media room

 

[whitesheperd]

When your wife gets mad because you spend more time in the brew room than you do with her


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[tripplehazzard]

When you realize you have 20 gallons to bottle (4 five gallon batches)and you realize it's really time to get a bigger house so you can finally build a keezer

 

[Kirkwooder]

When you go shopping for house plans with the following requirements:
4 bedroom
3 car garage
brewery
2 story
play room/media room

Better yet, when you tell your architect to design your house around your brewery.

 

[WilliamSlayer]

Better yet, when you tell your architect to design your house around your brewery.

A definite design necessity!

 

[unionrdr]

When you cook with some beer left over from bottling day before the rest is ready to drink! ESB in a onion & mushroom sauce for grilled steaks...

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

When you pour a homebrew into a red solo cup (which is not transparent), but instinctively hold your cup up to the light to examine clarity anyway.

 

[unionrdr]

When you still get excited waking up to your latest batch bubbling merrily away!

 

[403Brewer]

When you have 2 mini fridges (kegerator and fermentation fridge) in a 1 bedroom apartment, plus a full all grain set up. I need to buy a house to support my beer habit

 

[Eucrid]

You go to an anti-natal/pre-natal class with and when they say "once the waters break there is a risk of infection" you immediately think "spray some starsan on her".

 

[Kirkwooder]

When your watching "Storage Wars" on TV, and pick out the keggerator in the back of a locker before anyone in the show does!