Why "We're Pregnant!" bugs me so much

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CreamyGoodness

CreamyGoodness

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So I finally pinpointed why a cringe when a couple declares "We're pregnant!" or when someone congratulates me on my pregnancy.

Its neither misplaced machismo nor unimportant semantics. I have the least undue machismo of any guy you ever met. My toenails are blue at the moment for pete's sake.

Also, I'm not trying to disconnect from parenthood nor my wife. I have been to almost every doctor's appointment, and my wife has actually asked me to stop hovering everytime she sneezes and to stop saying "ARE YOU ALRIGHT!?" at every noise she makes. Its just not that.

Finally, its not annoyance by association. This isnt "broseph", a term that idiots and ******** exclusively use. Sorry, you know it's true. Nor is this "y'all", a term that drives me crazy because legitimate southerner Paula Dean uses it constantly and her accent sounds fake somehow (even though, as I have said, she SHOULD have a southern accent). Plenty of decent people say "we're pregnant!"

No...

What it is is... its a lie. Every time my wife gets dizzy or tired or has a craving for peanutbutter icecream with pretzels crunched up in it (true story) or my unborn son roundhouse kicks her uterus, I don't know what the big deal is. WE'RE pregnant... and physically, I feel just fine. She needs to stop complaining.

See how dumb that sounds?

No. I'm going to be a father. Weare going to be parents. We are both excited and pants-crappingly terrified. We are in this together.

My wife is pregnant.

*sigh* it will pass.
 
I get the joke but that doesnt bother me as much. We are both going to have a baby on July 17... even though I wont be the one getting the needle in the spine (though I will want one).
 
Yooper said:
But now that begs the question-

James, why are your toenails blue? Are you cold? :drunk:
Click to expand...

Couple years back I was experiencing heel and back pain and a friend suggested a pedicure. Why not, I thought? It worked like gangbusters, and I wasnt the only guy there, so I kept going.

Right before Burning Man in 2008 my pedicurist saw the clear nail polish I was choosing and said "oh cmon get a color! My now-wife thought the idea was great so I had a very pretty blonde lady and a very pretty Vietnamese lady egging me on. I chose green.

Been getting different colors ever since. :ban:
 
CreamyGoodness said:
Couple years back I was experiencing heel and back pain and a friend suggested a pedicure. Why not, I thought? It worked like gangbusters, and I wasnt the only guy there, so I kept going.

Right before Burning Man in 2008 my pedicurist saw the clear nail polish I was choosing and said "oh cmon get a color! My now-wife thought the idea was great so I had a very pretty blonde lady and a very pretty Vietnamese lady egging me on. I chose green.

Been getting different colors ever since. :ban:
Click to expand...

So your wife's uterus is full of child, but yours is barren? :D
 
Dude....She's pregnant....but "Your" (as in"you both") going to suffer. Been there...done that. Be a man, step up....you won't regret it.
Dad's have gotten a real bad rap over that last 20 years...thanks to the whole"Murphy Brown...who needs a dad?!" episode.
She will have her suffering...and so will you. Just take yours upon those broad, wide shoulders...to remind her why she chose to reproduce with YOU.
1 father to another. :rockin:
 
Do you plan on bringing your new kid to a brewery? Someone should start a thread about that.


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew
 
I have 4 kids, I was never scared until we were actually in the delivery room and I knew there was no way to avoid what was about to happen. I thought about about running the hell outta the room each time one of our kids were born. I never did run, and now my kids are pretty much grown ups themselves, and one day, Lord willing, they'll have to go through child birth themselves.

All that being said, I never considered myself as the one who was pregnant.

You'll do fine, just don't run when the time comes, women probably don't think too highly of that.
 
I'm with you on this. I can't stand hearing that.

I told my wife everytime she said it "No... WE are not pregnant. YOU are."

And when talking about someone else, "No... THEY are not pregnant. SHE is."
 
littletommy said:
I have 4 kids, I was never scared until we were actually in the delivery room and I knew there was no way to avoid what was about to happen. I thought about about running the hell outta the room each time one of our kids were born. I never did run, and now my kids are pretty much grown ups themselves, and one day, Lord willing, they'll have to go through child birth themselves.

All that being said, I never considered myself as the one who was pregnant.

You'll do fine, just don't run when the time comes, women probably don't think to highly of that.
Click to expand...



HaHa! After months of anticipation, delivery room time comes. It's the idea that there's literally NO WAY to get out of the situation. For the woman, at least. My last child, I actually did try to leave the room. Several times. No idea where I wanted to go, just had to GTFO.
 
I'm sure people mean well when they say it, but I always hated it.

I could see my toes all twelve months, she couldn't put on her shoes by herself by week 30.

Also no one gave me any sympathy for my baby weight.

Finally, no one ever says "we have kidney stones!"

"We have kids" does make sense, cause after the big day both parents get to suffer.

In summary there's still time to jump a train for Mexico:)


Sent from my iPad using Home Brew
 
So my husband and I do not have kids and we won't have kids, so I can't relate directly. BUT, I can admit to being irrationally irritated recently when one of my gay male couple friends declared "their" pregnancy. I am pretty sure that not only are they totally missing the requisite parts, but it also wasn't even their sperm.
 
My wife is due May 31st, when is yours? My first child too, and a girl. She had two boys who are now 13 and 11 so we are happy,so is her side of the family who has no girls yet. My wife calls ours a kickboxer or says she is doing zumba. Us men would be pussies if we were pregnant,thats all I got to say about that.
 
I'll play devil's advocate.

But first, let me say that I'm one half of a childless (by choice) couple, so everything after this statement is just what I've observed, not what I've (we've? :)) lived through.

I can see why people say "we're pregnant" (hint: it's just semantics). The woman is definitely taking the brunt of the effects, but the man also has to do his part and take off her shoes, rub her feet (or whichever body part she needs), deal with all the running-rampant emotions, go to the appts to hear all the cool stuff, etc. Saying that the man gets off scott free is (imo) just not true.

This doesn't mean that he's prego, it means that they are both doing their part as their life visibly changes by the day, and he's playing an active role in it.

Also, "We" could be a habit. How many times do you hear couples refer to themselves as "We"? I hear it a lot, and am also guilty of it. "We're prego" could just be an extension of that.

Alternatively (and this is just a last minute thought that popped in), it could be the man wanting some of the attention that's showered on the woman. Let's face it, she gets baby showers, people asking when she's due, all sorts of stuff that puts her right in the spotlight. What does he get? Nothin', unless he starts saying "We're prego" so he can have some attention as well.
 
gwapogorilla said:
Dude....She's pregnant....but "Your" (as in"you both") going to suffer. Been there...done that. Be a man, step up....you won't regret it.
Dad's have gotten a real bad rap over that last 20 years...thanks to the whole"Murphy Brown...who needs a dad?!" episode.
She will have her suffering...and so will you. Just take yours upon those broad, wide shoulders...to remind her why she chose to reproduce with YOU.
1 father to another. :rockin:
Click to expand...

THIS^^^

Men have suffered for years to get the "WE" are pregnant nod, but IT AINT GOOD NUFF FER CREAMY.............

A little too hipster bro. ;)
 
Kittyfeet said:
I'll play devil's advocate.

But first, let me say that I'm one half of a childless (by choice) couple, so everything after this statement is just what I've observed, not what I've (we've? :)) lived through.

I can see why people say "we're pregnant" (hint: it's just semantics). The woman is definitely taking the brunt of the effects, but the man also has to do his part and take off her shoes, rub her feet (or whichever body part she needs), deal with all the running-rampant emotions, go to the appts to hear all the cool stuff, etc. Saying that the man gets off scott free is (imo) just not true.

This doesn't mean that he's prego, it means that they are both doing their part as their life visibly changes by the day, and he's playing an active role in it.

Also, "We" could be a habit. How many times do you hear couples refer to themselves as "We"? I hear it a lot, and am also guilty of it. "We're prego" could just be an extension of that.

Alternatively (and this is just a last minute thought that popped in), it could be the man wanting some of the attention that's showered on the woman. Let's face it, she gets baby showers, people asking when she's due, all sorts of stuff that puts her right in the spotlight. What does he get? Nothin', unless he starts saying "We're prego" so he can have some attention as well.
Click to expand...
Maybe you are right when you say its just semantics, but I personally think semantics are very important. Technically, its not accurate when we say "we're having a baby" either... my wife has the monopoly on that one... but I feel like the difference is I will also become a parent the moment the globular screaming alien slides into view. "We're expecting" seems correct to me as well. My wife and I are both expecting to become parents. Check.

No one says this, but if we were to say "we are dealing with a pregnancy" I think that would be accurate as well. My wife says "I think I have heartburn" and I walk to the bathroom for some tums. Etc. etc. etc.

I just feel like if "we" were pregnant I would have a fetus in my body as well.

Maybe Im just being too particular...
 
I just wanted to say that the well dressed man at Burning Man wears green nail polish. ONLY !

Oh yeah - and i wanted to announce - 'We're stupid.' Mostly my doing but Donna gets credit too.
 
We are dealing with a pregnancy and we are having a baby equal each other to me. Depends how you look at it. We all know its not literal or factual for a man to have a baby. If you are a good man you are empathetic for your wife. I feel bad for my wifes terrible heartburn and leg cramps. She sleeps a lot too and I have to do a lot of other ****. Yes, you can say it, admit it.
 
Kittyfeet said:
The woman is definitely taking the brunt of the effects, but the man also has to do his part and take off her shoes, rub her feet (or whichever body part she needs), deal with all the running-rampant emotions, go to the appts to hear all the cool stuff, etc. Saying that the man gets off scott free is (imo) just not true.
Click to expand...

You could say the exact same thing about a woman who is undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer (the husband has to pick up the slack in the household, do the driving, be supportive, etc.), but nobody says "We have cancer."

I agree with the OP, I find it obnoxious.
 
kombat said:
You could say the exact same thing about a woman who is undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer (the husband has to pick up the slack in the household, do the driving, be supportive, etc.), but nobody says "We have cancer."

I agree with the OP, I find it obnoxious.
Click to expand...

Yeah, because the husband may never get cancer.

Creamy (or any dad to be) presumeably IS going to get (ie: HAVE) a baby.
 
cheezydemon3 said:
Yeah, because the husband may never get cancer.

Creamy (or any dad to be) presumeably IS going to get (ie: HAVE) a baby.
Click to expand...

Right. I'm not objecting to the expression, "We're having/going to have a baby," I'm objecting to "We're pregnant."

The husband is obviously not pregnant. Drawing the analogy with cancer highlights the absurdity of the phrase. How do you respond to that?

Husband: "Guess what? We're pregnant!"
Me: "Uhm, congrats. When are you... she ... due?"
Outcome = awkward

Husband: "Bad news, we've got cancer."
Me: "Wow, that sucks dude. But which one of you ACTUALLY has cancer?"
Outcome = awkward
 
cheezydemon3 said:
Creamy (or any dad to be) presumeably IS going to get (ie: HAVE) a baby.
Click to expand...

Right. This is why the dad-to-be can simply say "we're having a baby!" Conveys the exact same message, avoids any fear (in my opinion somewhat silly) that the dad-to-be is trying to "distance" himself from the situation, and has the benefit of being true.

Put another way, would it make any sense for the dad-to-be to say "I'm pregnant"?
 
So for people who like saying "we're pregnant", when SWMBO has PMS do you say "we have PMS" and that makes it okay for you to be a PITA to your buddies?
 
So you aren't getting sympathy pains and/or cravings?

I heard that phrase on TV recently and it made me cringe as well, for the same reason I guess. The guy might have an active role in causing the pregnancy (most of the time) and in raising the child (most of the time...hopefully), but yeah, *we* are not pregnant, *she* is.


Sent from my iThingy using a series of tubes.
 
I hate people on wheel of fortune: "I'm married to my wife, Jane"

Who else would you be married to? Idiot.

Also, why do I have to ask for unsweetened tea. Tea with sugar is sweetened or sweet tea. Tea without sugar is just tea.
 
BBQB said:
I just read all the posts in this thread. I will never get that time back


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew
Click to expand...


It was right there in the title. Didn't you know what you were walking into?


Sent from my iThingy using a series of tubes.
 
CG congrats on your pregnancy! :D

I had three kids, no my wife had three kids. We raised them together.. not toatally true. Big D after 12 years.. anyway I digress.

Truly happy for you and your wife. I'd never heard the term "we're pregnant" 25 years ago. My wife was pregnant and I was a terrified dad to be.

BTW. Pedicures are awesome. I've never had the kahonas to get my toenails painted however. :mug:
 

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