What to brew to crush cars with a tank?

[physics911]

My amazing, awesome girlfriend got me a gift certificate to drive a tank over cars. How amazing is this going to be? Her girlfriend also got her husband the same thing, so we are going to spend the weekend at her cabin and turn the awesomeness into a day-long event.

Of course I need to brew a couple kegs for the day.
I need your help coming up with, and most importantly naming, two brews for that day. I'm going to wait until late spring or early summer to do this, so no stouts, porters, or the like.

I was thinking an Abram's Ale and a Patton Pilsner.

 

[TheMadKing]

You definitely need a german tank for the german beer.

Panzer Pilsner

 

[arnobg]

Tanked Belgian Tripel

 

[BarrelAgedForrest]

Hard core heavy RIS. Named Russian Imperialist Takeover Stout.

 

[NoIguanaForZ]

Why no stouts or porters? Just go for something relatively dry and light-bodied for the style.

 

[DevilNuts]

Whatever your ABV is, there is likely a Russian tank to match it. Example: 7.2% = T-72

 

[smcinco]

Whatever your ABV is, there is likely a Russian tank to match it. Example: 7.2% = T-72

Vodka!

 

[max384]

I'm imagining a day of heavy drinking... I'd go with something low ABV that you can drink a ton of.

Maybe a breakfast stout and a pilsner/light ale.

The important thing here is coming up with badass names for the beer.

I like the suggestion of Panzer Pilsner from earlier. How about Abrams ale? Maybe Patton's Porter? As I was typing, I went back and reread the OP, and realized my two suggestions aren't even close to being original. LOL. How about Sherman's stout?

 

[DevilNuts]

1. Your girlfriend is awesome.
2. I just looked this up: http://www.driveatank.com/car-crushing/
3. Can you get a DUI in a tank? a TUI?

 

[BarrelAgedForrest]

Whatever your ABV is, there is likely a Russian tank to match it. Example: 7.2% = T-72

Nice! Good call! I second this motion.

 

[DevilNuts]

Can I actually remove that suggestion and use it for myself? I feel like I just wasted a really solid beer name.

 

[Homercidal]

Wow. My daughter recently said she REALLY wants to drive a tank over some cars, and there's a place in Minnesota where you can go and do it. Maybe this is next year's summer vacation?

She's going to have to think long and hard between this and a school trip to Spain!

For a beer name, how about, "Armour Ale".
HEAT ("Toss me a round of HEAT!")
Hull Down Hefe
Turret Triple
Mmmmmm 1 A 1

 

[TriggerHappy]

Rommel's Red Vs. Patton's Pale (obviously and American Pale Ale

 

[TX_Brewing]

Sherman schwarzbier

 

[slym2none]

Um, I hope you are drinking AFTER driving the tank...

 

[TheMadKing]

Um, I hope you are drinking AFTER driving the tank...

This guy...

It's a tank, what could possibly go wrong??

And better question is: who is going to pull you over?

 

[slym2none]

No... nothing could go wrong in a 40-60 ton armored vehicle with an inebriated person at the controls.

 

[physics911]

No... nothing could go wrong in a 40-60 ton armored vehicle with an inebriated person at the controls.

You have nothing to worry about. I'm a professional.
Besides, if we get the AR's out first, I'm sure that is where it will go off the rails.
:rockin:

 

[max384]

Hold my beer. Watch this...

 

[mattrox]

Um, I hope you are drinking AFTER driving the tank...

 

[JonM]

Tip of the Spear Beer?
Stormin' Norman Schwarzbier?
Armor Amber?

 

[unionrdr]

Since the Tiger was bigger than the Panzer, Tiger Tripel? To go outside of the box, there's my dry Whiskely stout I named Queen Anne's Revenge? Quite sessionable. Sherman's Saison?

 

[dcrog]

Well whatever you brew it must be served in a Tank*ard.

 

[JonM]

Well whatever you brew it must be served in a Tank*ard.

Awesome!