I feel your pain; I'm not having much luck here in Chicago either. I started an all grain Surly Cynic clone from Northern Brewer last Friday, the 28th of December. I've brewed this clone several times (and it's a fantastic beer if you haven't brewed it before) and had no problems.
Last Friday, December 28th, I decided to try brewing with a 2000W electric burner in my basement. After several hours, temperature held at 211F and wouldn't budge. It simply wasn't enough heat to boil 7 gallons of wort. Screw it - I'll finish it outside tomorrow.
After it cools, I lug the wort up the stairs and outside. I measure the wort to see how much water I've lost to evaporation, and it's about a gallon. I add a gallon of water to the wort and go to fire up the burner. No luck; apparently my regulator has broken since the last time I used it. I run to the local big-box store and find a "turkey fryer" burner that is on sale for $60. Buy it, return to the house and fire it up - only to find that the new burners come with a timer for safety. I defeat the safety measures (duct tape) and let er' rip. It burns fine, but in 20F weather, it isn't enough to make it boil. It holds again at 211F. After a couple of hours and building a makeshift "wind fort" around the burner, I give up. I say screw it - not gonna happen, and leave it outside to freeze.
The next day, I head to my LHBS and buy a Banjo burner for approx $100. I know I can fix my existing burner, but I already have probably $100 invested in the wort and my time, so screw it. I adjust for evaporation, which again, turns about to be a gallon. I add the gallon of water and fire up the banjo burner and the thing burns away like a jet engine. Wort comes to a boil in about 30 mins (it was a wort "slushy" when I fired it up.)
Around half way through the boil, my fire dies down. No problem; tank is probably empty, so I switch tanks. Fire goes great for about 15 minutes then slowly starts to die down, and I can't figure out why. Then I recall a post on HBT about freezing propane tanks and realize that I am using a "summer mix" of propane as opposed to the "winter mix" propane providers use. My tank is frozen. I take the lid off of my outdoor fireplace and flip it upside down, placing the tank inside. I throw a couple of buckets of warm water in the lid, and the burner takes off - too quickly! As I turn around, the flame has picked up so much that the wort is boiling over. I quickly turn down the heat and lose maybe four cups or so. My kettle, burner, etc., are covered in sticky, overflowed wort.
Finally, after adding a couple of buckets of warm water to my propane tank "tank" the boil finishes and I'm able to put it in a fermenter. I pitched my yeast yesterday and have yet to see any activity, so I'm thinking I pitched bad yeast. Luckily, I just found a Wyeast 3522 pack in storage, so I will pitch that as well.
This is going to be either the best or worst beer ever; it's definitely the toughest beer I've ever brewed.