The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

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paulthenurse said:
Well, parts of you, hell ya! Don't forget, you did rub them up against me.

I'm wicked shallow. I admit it.

Just don't step off the curb and expect me to stop. I'll run over you AND your major league yabos.
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Oh, no, I know you love me for who I am and not my body. You can't fool me. :D
 
Nah. I'm shallow. I like you for your hooters. Almost as nice as Al's.

But they're kind of like Heady Topper. Sure they're nice but they're brewed with Unobtainium and that makes them special.


Holy ****!!!!! Do people drive 5-6 hours and stand in line for hours just to cop a feel of Betty and Wilma? Da fuq?
 
Wow. I always knew that if you wanted to feel thin, hang out next to Paulie. Now, if you want to feel better, you can hang next to Paulie too. He's such a bitter fat white guy, that I'm going to be smiling all day thinking of him behind a school bus.

Ahhhhh. Nice relaxing Monday morning. Particularly right after all of our football teams won yesterday. Isn't that right Yoop? Yoop? Did I say something wrong?
 
Melana said:
I've heard that the UP is an exotic vacation spot.
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You would love it here. Paulie wouldn't last a day.


nhwrecker said:
Wow. I always knew that if you wanted to feel thin, hang out next to Paulie. Now, if you want to feel better, you can hang next to Paulie too. He's such a bitter fat white guy, that I'm going to be smiling all day thinking of him behind a school bus.

Ahhhhh. Nice relaxing Monday morning. Particularly right after all of our football teams won yesterday. Isn't that right Yoop? Yoop? Did I say something wrong?
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Oh, the Packers did suck. I'm not like a Patriots fan who can't admit when the Golden Boy isn't perfect.
 
LSU all put to bed for the winter.

And now we enter the dark season, when I need to go on somebody else's boat and go where they decide to go when the decide to go and pay for the privilege.

On the plus side, I catch more on Jim's boat than on mine. Time to go to all those scallop beds that you don't dare go to when every idiot in with a boat is aiming his stem at my dive flag.View attachment ImageUploadedByHome Brew1448145362.614780.jpg
 
SWMBO is pissed at me because I called out a plumber who called us at 6:15 pm re: a 6:00 appointment and said he was running a little late and would be here in a short while. So at 8.00 a call him back and ask him if he's been abducted by aliens and we should call the gubamint. And he tells me he'll be here in five minutes.
And lo and behold, he shows up two minutes later. It's a miracle!!!he tells me he just left Abington and was running late. Abington? You made it here from Abington in two minutes? Where did you land the f'ing F-16?

Da fuq? I'm trying to do business with you, give you money to do a job'. Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining, I'm not stupid. Show up when you say you will and if you can't call and say so.

Next plumber up...
 
paulthenurse said:
SWMBO is pissed at me because I called out a plumber who called us at 6:15 pm re: a 6:00 appointment and said he was running a little late and would be here in a short while. So at 8.00 a call him back and ask him if he's been abducted by aliens and we should call the gubamint. And he tells me he'll be here in five minutes.
And lo and behold, he shows up two minutes later. It's a miracle!!!he tells me he just left Abington and was running late. Abington? You made it here from Abington in two minutes? Where did you land the f'ing F-16?

Da fuq? I'm trying to do business with you, give you money to do a job'. Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining, I'm not stupid. Show up when you say you will and if you can't call and say so.

Next plumber up...
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I usually side with Alice however I am trying to figure out why she is mad at YOU for the stupid plummer being late? For once that's NOT your fault!

Oh wait... maybe it is.
 
Melana said:
I usually side with Alice however I am trying to figure out why she is mad at YOU for the stupid plummer being late? For once that's NOT your fault!

Oh wait... maybe it is.
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A is a saint who apparently doesn't need modern conveniences to be able to function, like running water. She maybe now has had just about enough of contractors and plumbers? I would have had enough the day after the bathroom was ripped out!
 
She's mad because I really blistered him. I may have had one or two in anticipation of the game and expressed my dissatisfaction using some rather salty language. If I were him I would have told me to go F myself.

And it's not the bathroom. That is done. Finally. Only took three months. Now we're having the boiler/hot water heater replaced with one of those new ultra high efficiency units.
 
I mean, to be fair to the guy... you never know what kind of ******** you're going to run into over the course of your day. Most of these guys start work at what, about seven in the morning, so he's had at least twelve hours of knuckleheads like you to deal with before he even got to your place. And **** comes up - someone turned their boiler on and their basement filled with smoke, so he may well have had an emergency call (I've called a few of those in). **** happens. If you want a plumber or electrician or whoever to be there on time, you've got to be the first appointment.
 
I get that. I'm not unreasonable. But he had talked to Al earlier in the day to confirm, and then called to reconfirm and say he was running a little late and would be here soon. Then two hours go by. Nothing. All you have to do is call. I'm not unreasonable. Just call.
 
Williams Brewing 300

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