The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

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the_bird said:
:off:

Anyone wanna help a brother learn how to weld? I've got a big-ass oil tank coming out of my basement in the next month or so, seems a goddamn shame to throw it away! ;)
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You've met my buddy Drunken a couple of times. He lives in Worcester and has a wet dream of a metal shop in his garage. Big assed welder, tube bender that can twist a length of 2 inch steel tubing like a piece of spaghetti, and best of all, a plasma cutter. PM me.

PTN
 
paulthenurse said:
You've met my buddy Drunken a couple of times. He lives in Worcester and has a wet dream of a metal shop in his garage. Big assed welder, tube bender that can twist a length of 2 inch steel tubing like a piece of spaghetti, and best of all, a plasma cutter. PM me.

PTN
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It may come down to whether we can get it out of the basement without having to draw and quarter it. The guy who's doing the work, though, is BFFs with one of my buddies here at work, so I can probably get him to hook me up in the future, too. I just hate scraping the damn thing, 'cause.... (I'll whisper so Cape doesn't hear me).... Bertha is pretty ****ing awesome.
 
I don't have enough backyard to build a pit (not and still leave some room for the kids to play), AND we're planning on moving at some point in the next 3-4 years, so it's got to have at least SOME degree of portability.
 
Oh... Absolutely. Bertha's a nice way to go. I wouldnt mind something like that more for just smoking stuff... But... Paulie's off the deep end talkin' a whole lotta smack in this area.
 
Perhaps you ladies should create "The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious PTN and Cape Petty Flagellation Thread." Carry on.
 
Jay,
Go to anyone who delivers home heating oil, I bet you a six pack they have a couple of old tanks out back that they will give you, just to get rid of them.

Then you hook up with Drunken and for little bit of cash for the materials, a couple of six packs of beer and a little bit of sweat, you've got yourself a portable smoker that can readily smoke anything from a couple racks of baby back ribs up to a hog of about 175 pounds trimmed weight.

Don't listen to Cape. He's overcompensating after getting schooled on the Mega Tun. Well, that and he's also got a really small penis.

PTN
 
Oh, I know. I just, you know, ALREADY HAVE ONE that's coming out because I'm putting in a natty gas burner in the next week or two. I *think* my old man may have an old trailer I could commandeer, too. If the one in the basement can't come up more-or-less intact, I'm sure Kyle (the owner/installer of the gas company) can hook me up, as you might imagine there are a TON of oil-to-gas conversions happening around here.
 
Sawmill. Cut that bad Larry right in half. We can weld it back together. In fact, having it open like that makes putting in the water tray a boatload easier. Console yourself with that thought as you cut that biatch in half. Then get it outside and have a bonfire in each half to burn out the residual oil and you will be good to go
 
Drunky can teach you, unless you are a retard like I am. You HAVE to he better at it than I was. Eventually he just ripped the thing out of my hands and had me fetch him cold beers I am much better at that then I was at welding. I already had the drinking part down pat
 
No longer do I claim this guy.



Let the meaningless defense of this begin. There is nothing you can say. Oh, you'll try, all of you out there will. The guy started a socal tool, we hardened him up, and then he went out east and you ruined him. The spidey suit, the kangol at the U brewday, the pedo, the dog cross-dresser, and this guy should think about starting your own weird country of your own. Cali has nothing on you freaks.
 
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the_bird said:
I should say, too, that I wanna learn to weld myself, dammit!
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CL "lincoln buzzbox". They sell for like $75 used around here and everyone has one to sell from an estate and what not. Cheap, easy to use, and great to learn on.

Edit: Just looked out there to post a link and there's not ONE on the "Bahstan" CL. Jesus, do people do ANYTHING for themselves out there that requires moving more than 45 feet from some kind of chair or out from under a roof?
 
cuinrearview said:
CL "lincoln buzzbox". They sell for like $75 used around here and everyone has one to sell from an estate and what not. Cheap, easy to use, and great to learn on.

Edit: Just looked out there to post a link and there's not ONE on the "Bahstan" CL. Jesus, do people do ANYTHING for themselves out there that requires moving more than 45 feet from some kind of chair or under a roof?
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I ain't driving to Boston to buy a ****ing used welder. I bet my old man could hook me up, anyway. I'm not sure if he's got a welder himself, but he's one of those old Vermonters who knows 90% of the people in the state, so I'm sure he could hook me up.
 
cuinrearview said:
Let the meaningless defense of this begin. .
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I think my exact words on the football trash talk thread were something to the effect of, "he can wear a pink frilly dress, prance around and call himself Lucy for all I care as long as he keeps putting up the stats he does"

I don't need to hang out with the guy... I just want him to throw TDs.
 
We have the china doll Stafford, you have the "frilly dress wearin' princess named Lucy". Either way, that vid turned my stomach. He's a keeper in one of my leagues, but DAMN that isn't block M football.
 
the_bird said:
If Gisele told YOU that wearing a little ponytail would get her panties moist, would YOU wear one?
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Tall and anorexic don't ring my bell so no. If she offered me some of her $$ to look and dance like that in public it would be a different story. But if I had Tom's money I'd pay SOMEONE off to not let that **** go public:mug:.
 
the_bird said:
If Gisele told YOU that wearing a little ponytail would get her panties moist, would YOU wear one?
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+1 Amen to that, now imagine if she told you that while shes wearing a bikini or lingerie.

Gisele-Bundchen-bikini-photo-1.jpg

77836-gisele-bundchen-calzedonia-summer-2009-4116.jpg
 
cuinrearview said:
Tall and anorexic don't ring my bell so no. If she offered me some of her $$ to look and dance like that in public it would be a different story. But if I had Tom's money I'd pay SOMEONE off to not let that **** go public:mug:.
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This seems right up your alley.
121410fat.jpg
 
A vid of "touchdown Tommy" is countered with female pics. I'm kinda new here but should I have planted that in the boneyard for you guys? I mean, he could be considered "pretty" and all if that's your thing. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
 
All good athletes are at least a LITTLE weird.

They spend so much time training/practicing that they become as socially awkward as a Warcraft kid.
 
You mean weird like posting in an obscure waste of time thread like this? Working it back..... Does this make us athletes? 'Cuz if I have athlete money the first thing I'm buyin' is dancing lessons before I cut a rug in public like that,
 
I bet Tom stays up at night worrying about what some goober in East Bartfark, Michigan thinks about his dancing.

Except for the nights when he's banging his supermodel wife like a storm door in a hurricane, while they are in Rio for Carnival.

I bet the poor bastard hardly slept at all that night. Poor Tom.
 
paulthenurse said:
I bet Tom stays up at night worrying about what some goober in East Bartfark, Michigan thinks about his dancing.

Except for the nights when he's banging his supermodel wife like a storm door in a hurricane, while they are in Rio for Carnival.

I bet the poor bastard hardly slept at all that night. Poor Tom.
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Props to that! Haha...storm door!!!
 
You're diverting from my point that your superhero, mancrush, whatever he is to you guys can't/shouldn't dance in public.... but he did. All the while looking like Jennifer Garner.

And it's West Bartfark. Get a map
 
My location is not important in a thread with words like "dysfuntional, obnoxious, and BS" in the title? I'm flattered. Thanks PTN for putting me in my place!
 
"oh Paul!!! You're so super fabulous!! Mwua! Mwua! Mwua!!"

Pleeeeeease...

1) he's chubby
2) he's a total ****** (see my sig)
3) he's chubby
4) he's probably prancing around in his tighty whities (as much as he can actually "prance") saying, "they like meeee! Someone likes meeee!! Yeeeeeaaaaaa!!!"
5) he makes a sh!tty pig
6) he enjoys running over small animals in his hoverround

This is not a man that deserves any praise of any sort.
 
Damn I forgot the sarcasm symbol at the beginning of that post Cape. I'm VERY well aware of what kind of person I'm dealing with here and I've seen the effect that praising him has on his peers. That's right, I said peers meaning YOU. Good luck. Maybe I'll make a point to praise him every day just to kinda help all of you out.
 

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