The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

[b-boy]

Dear Anti-pro sports,
Even NASCAR!?!
Sincerely, 'Merica

 

[Beernik]

Dear Work,

You insisted I come in today and nobody who wanted to meet with me is here. So I'm going to spend the next 8 hours spreading this virus throughout the building. Good luck maintaining productivity for the next two months.

Sincerely,

Sick Guy.

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

Dear Anti-Pro sports,

Why not just shorten your name to sports?

Sincerely,
Anti+Pro=0

 

[Newsman]

Dear Anti-pro sports,
Even NASCAR!?!
Sincerely, 'Merica

Dear 'Merica,
Especially NASCAR!

Sincerely,
'Sports

 

[Black Island Brewer]

Dear 'Sports, 'Merica, and the others who hash out their rivalries here,

There are whole threads just for you to duke it out, most of them have "obnoxious" in the title. Find them and enjoy!

Sincerely,
Let's get back to our non-sports buffoonery

 

[Qhrumphf]

Dear Lets Get Back,

Sincerely,
Billy Mays

 

[Natdavis777]

Dear Billy Mays,

I won...

Sincerely,

Cocaine


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[cannman]

Dear Billy Mays,

Sincerely,
Billy Mays

 

[number40fan]

Dear, No Pliny For You.

I would invite you to Colorado, but we already have enough emigrants.

Sincerely,
I am on the wrong side of the divide to flush you some consumed beer.

 

[Qhrumphf]

Dear Cocaine,

I won.

Sincerely,
David Bowie

 

[TXCrash]

Dear coffee,
I missed you today, I'll not skip you tomorrow.

Sincerely,
bless my dentist and his whitening trays. Coffee is better than white teeth anyways.

 

[max384]

Dear jackass ahead of me who refused to make a right on red at an empty intersection today,

Even though you only costed me 30 seconds of extra waiting, I hope your car breaks down and you have to walk home in the cold rain.

Sincerely,
The frustrated line of cars behind you

 

[jbaysurfer]

Dear Wrong Side of the Divide:

Thanks for the great party and contest you threw out there earlier this month.

Condolences for the fact that this side of the divide owned the hoppy beer categories in your big contest.

Sincerely,
The Hoppy Side of the Divide

 

[jbaysurfer]

Dear The frustrated line of cars behind me:

I was waiting for a pedestrian to clear the sidewalk.

Sincerely,
Sorry for your 30 second loss

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Dear Coworker,

I get it. You think you're Capt. Badass. I know you're not, but whatever gets you through the day.

Sincerely,
STFU Already

 

[max384]

Dear Sorry for your 30 second loss,

Your meds are wearing off. There were no pedestrians anywhere nearby.

Sincerely,
It's about the principle of the matter, not the actual time lost

 

[jbaysurfer]

Dear Principle of the matter,

You're probably right. I think I was having flashbacks to being in your car and being impatient and honking at the car in front of me all out of sorts when I saw the beautiful young lady who looked like my daughter step onto the curb out of the crosswalk.

Sincerely,
The one of us who acted irrationally.

 

[soccerdad]

Dear Billy Mays,

My $hit will flock you up.

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dh_2r06Ahs0[/ame]

Sincerely, JaboOody

 

[DrunkleJon]

Dear that guy,

 

[Qhrumphf]

Dear JaboOody,



Sincerely,
Watch this, you're gonna love my nuts.

 

[Zepth]

Dear Billy Mays,

I won...

Sincerely,

Cocaine


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

Too soon.

Dear coffee,
I missed you today, I'll not skip you tomorrow.

Sincerely,
bless my dentist and his whitening trays. Coffee is better than white teeth anyways.

Wasn't it Abe Lincoln who said "Judge not by the color of the teeth"?

Dear work,
You suck.
Sincerely,
Awaiting retirement (30 years)

Dear underhopped hefe
You ain't so bad
Sincerely
Too wrecked to care

 

[binabik]

Dear Awaiting retirement,

It's not all its cracked up to be. Getting up 3 times a night to pee,
not remembering what an erection is and worst of all not caring.

Sincerely,
I want my youth back

 

[Dopeybrew]

Dear Beer,

Please keep me from choking the **** out of moronic parents and their smart mouth kid.

Sincerely,
Teacher who needs help

 

[DrunkleJon]

Dear cancer,
You suck! Leave my cousins kid alone.
F You
Me

 

[SupervisingChildren]

Dear I want my youth back,
There's pills for for each of those problems. Go see a doctor.
Sincerely,
Big Pharma

 

[Zepth]

Dear cancer,
You suck! Leave my cousins kid alone.
F You
Me

I recently lost someone who was like a second father to me to cancer. You aren't alone.

 

[jbaysurfer]

Dear Underhopped Hefe:

You are an oxymoron.

Sincerely,
BJCP Style Guidelines

 

[singybrue]

Dear Fart,

When I said you could come out play, I meant just you, not you and your....friend.

Sincerely,
Gambled and lost

Dear Gambled and lost,

Never trust a fart.

Sincerely,
A fart

 

[Natdavis777]

Dear underhopped Hefe,

I'm the king of "too soon"!

Sincerely

Habitual Line-crosser




Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[beavers]

Dear Kentucky Legislators,

Why can't you take a cue from the fine folks in Colorado and Washington? Or the dozens of other states that are almost as brave as those two.

Sincerely,
Kentucky resident with...erm, back pain. Yyyyeah, that's it, back pain. And glaucoma.

 

[Black Island Brewer]

Dear Kentucky resident,

Fine and brave though we may be, you're probably paying less for your "medication" than we are for our recreation.

Sincerely,
Washington resident

 

[drainbamage]

Dear Kentucky Resident,

We can't even get booze legalized in all our counties. Baby steps.

Sincerely,
Wet counties are the best counties

 

[Beernik]

Dear Mimi's Cafe,

Tomato basil soup and marinara sauce are not the same thing.

Sincerely,

Customer Who Ordered Tomato Soup

 

[coldcrash]

Dear Eagle Rare Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey,

http://youtu.be/Z6xfpLqn5IM

Sincerely,
You Know

 

[cannman]

Dear Mimi's Cafe,

Tomato basil soup and marinara sauce are not the same thing.

Sincerely,

Customer Who Ordered Tomato Soup

Dear customer who ordered tomato soup,

Uh...We don't have tomato soup on our menu.

Sincerely,

Mimi's Cafe

 

[Fedora]

Dear Drunk People,

I like to tie one on as much as the next guy. More than most really. But I am so fvcking tried of dealing with the ignorant, unreasonable behavior that you continue to display on a regular basis. Control yourself and get a grip on reality or get the f..k out of my life.

Sincerely,

Done With This S..t

 

[number40fan]

Dear, Drunk Neighbor Knocking On My Door.

It is only noon!

Sincerely,
Why didn't you let me know we were starting so soon.

 

[Natdavis777]

Dear people,

The vehicle you come to the ED in is called and ambulance, pronounce "am·bu·lance", not "amma·lans"

Sincerely,

Guy who just wants to ***** (but seriously though)


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

 

[number40fan]

Nvm.

 

[Komocabo]

Dear ED.

You should see a neurologist in the ER.

Sincerely,
Autocorrect