Wow, I have been waiting for the women to chime in here, and i'm glad you did. My wife doesnt brew with me but is very supportive of my passion.
My wife also doesnt care for SWMBO. She, just like me, thinks it to be derogatory for both me and her. It makes her sound like some cranky slavedriver that is to be feared at all cost. And it makes me sound like a little boy who has to run home in order to ask his mommy to tie his shoes for him.
I think its awsome to see some women out there brewin, if you think about it, MEN are actually the newbies on the brewin scene. Throughout history Women have been the majoraty of brewers. I think of Martin Luthers wife Katy whose beer he always raved about.
Of course if your a female brewer it doesnt make you any less of a brewer, or less of a person for that matter. In fact I think if you asked around here most men would love to brew with thier wives. I think that a woman who brews is actually more of a woman.
As to the term SWSMT, I think its more of a humorous way to refer to her than just my wife, thats so innane to me. When I say SWSMT it communicates that she has just as much influence and right to my most intimate and treasured belongings. The whole point of marriage is to share everything and make it work as a team right. For the ladies out there we could say IWSHT and that would be a great honor to both him and her, right?