SWMBO being COMPLETELY unreasonable

[bobbrewedit]

I'm with b-boy, your man-cave is simply a room where she temporarily lets you hang out. In my house, man-cave is code for "room we still don't have quite enough money to remodel"

 

[Homercidal]

Yeah, kind of puts it all into perspective doesn't it?

So now I just HAVE to find out what my wife would do if I decided to bleach a bone in my man space. (Somehow that sounds oddly homoerotic...)

Anywhey, I think I shall find a carcass on the side of the road and see if I can bleach it in my room. This should not be a difficult assignment that I give myself. I could probably choose between 4-5 different critters just on the way home from work, which is only a few small town blocks away.

Maybe I could just do a deer skull or something cool like that. Then put fake demon horns on it to complete the effect.

Anyway, back to the assignment. Find large bone, clean, and then place in my room with appropriate bleaching chemical to make it clean and white. Record what wife says about it.

Keep in mind that beyond the small room I call my "hobby room", I also have a large garage, and a basement. The garage is likely way too cold right now. The chemical would freeze. The basement is out since it's always damp and disgusting. She would never find the item because she has sworn to never ever go down into the basement unless a tornado were to be bearing down upon her.

So, what to use to clean the meat and other organs from the bone? And then what makes the best bleaching solution?

 

[Golddiggie]

Remember, it's a large PORK bone here...

 

[HeadyKilowatt]

Can't beat dermestid beetles for quick and easy de-fleshing...

http://www.bonesandbugs.com/purchase-dermestid-beetles.html

And they have the added bonus of upping the "messing with SWMBO factor" significantly.

 

[two_hearted]

This reminds me of when I make Kimchi. I ferment it in mason jars and have to degas them every few days. It stinks up half the house like a nasty rhino fart. I hear the wife from the next room, "Oh goddammit are you gasin' your cabbage? Pshew!".

 

[Golddiggie]

This reminds me of when I make Kimchi. I ferment it in mason jars and have to degas them every few days. It stinks up half the house like a nasty rhino fart. I hear the wife from the next room, "Oh goddammit are you gasin' your cabbage? Pshew!".

I have to ask... How do you know what 'a nasty rhino fart' smells like??

 

[b-boy]

I'm with b-boy, your man-cave is simply a room where she temporarily lets you hang out. In my house, man-cave is code for "room we still don't have quite enough money to remodel"

I get moved every time we remodel. Used to be upstairs. Then I got kicked to the basement. I feel myself being slowly pushed toward the garage. Pretty soon I'll be watching football in a 5x5 storage shed. Hmm.. How big of a flat screen do you think I could get in there?

 

[Golddiggie]

I get moved every time we remodel. Used to be upstairs. Then I got kicked to the basement. I feel myself being slowly pushed toward the garage. Pretty soon I'll be watching football in a 5x5 storage shed. Hmm.. How big of a flat screen do you think I could get in there?

Depends on if that's a 5x5 [foot] on the inside or the outside. Might be able to squeeze a 72" thin edge screen in there... Or mount it on an angle. You'll just need to figure out where to put everything else.

 

[Kittyfeet]

So, what to use to clean the meat and other organs from the bone?

If you drive home from work real fast, mayhaps you can hit a fresh one. That way, you can use a knife and fork to clean the meat off. I hear possum stew is pretty good. :cross:

 

[Homercidal]

If you drive home from work real fast, mayhaps you can hit a fresh one. That way, you can use a knife and fork to clean the meat off. I hear possum stew is pretty good. :cross:

The streets have been clean lately. Damn bums.

For a while there the skunks were all over the place! I guess they are all starting to stay inside an hibernate.

And for personal safety reasons I thought it wise to wait until at least my wife's birthday was past. It's today. She's 40. Even I'm not stupid enough to poke a sleeping badger.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Man, you and your wife are in your early fourties and you already have a daughter in college? When did you get married, at the prom?

 

[Homercidal]

Man, you and your wife are in your early fourties and you already have a daughter in college? When did you get married, at the prom?

No, but we did have a good time NOT going to the prom...

Actually we got married when I was 23 and she was 19. Had our fist 2 years later.

I don't advise other people to have kids that young. And some people I don't advise have kids at all...

 

[beaksnbeer]

No, but we did have a good time NOT going to the prom...

Actually we got married when I was 23 and she was 19. Had our fist 2 years later.
And some people I don't advise have kids at all...

To bad that can't be made to stick.

 

[45_70sharps]

I bought me one of them divorces.
Now, the house is the man room ( within reason since I have a 7 year old daughter ).
The former family room is now the bar. I've decorated with old hubcaps, model A grill, antique guns, hooters calender, brewing gear, a second "man" christmas tree.
I can even use a skull from a smallish buck with a red light where the nose goes for a Rudolph. ( I forgot to put Rudolf up this year!).
Life is good.

 

[SharonaZamboni]

No, but we did have a good time NOT going to the prom...

Actually we got married when I was 23 and she was 19. Had our fist 2 years later.

I don't advise other people to have kids that young. And some people I don't advise have kids at all...

I had my kids starting at 20, and it was not an easy time. But now they're all grown and I'm still fairly young, so there's time to pursue my own interests.

 

[chefmatthew]

Need a little support here, someone to tell me I was right. So, after making a lovely (read: cheap) pork shoulder into crock-pot pulled pork, I was left with a large shoulder bone. Awesome!

So my plan was to get a bunch of these together over the span of a year and make a long string of shoulder bones tied together with twine for the front balcony.

The other day, SWMBO decides she is going to clean up THE MAN ROOM, and I hear a shriek. Crap. So I ask, "did you hurt yourself?"

"Noooooo... James... what the *deleted* is THIS?!"

"Why, sweetheart, its just a pork bone bleaching in hydrogen peroxide!"

*closes eyes, touches the bridge of her nose*

"Ok... I shouldn't have asked that like that... what I should have asked is WHY THE *rudies* IS THERE A WHITE MEAT BONE IN MY TUPPERWARE ON A BOOKSHELF IN THE GUEST ROOM??!"

"...MAN room"

"NO! DAMMIT JAMES... sigh... my mother is sleeping in this room next weekend..."

"Like she'd ever know..."

"Oh My God... can't believe I'm discussing this. James... what are you doing with a white meat bone? Why would you possibly need this?? And what's the crap floating on the top of the peroxide??"

"Fat from the marrow I think..."

*gags* "Throw it away!!"

"No, Im keeping it for Halloween"

"Almost a year from now?!"

"... yeah?"

After more back and forth I decided there was only one unbiased party I could turn to. My father. He was no help. I'm very disappointed in him.

In the end... she won. The bone I had spent literally weeks bleaching is now in a landfill. There is no justice domestically.

*sigh* it will pass.

I have 3 balls I will lend to one cause you dont have any.

 

[cheezydemon3]

I GET IT creamy..

I too LOVE Halloween and have REALLY scary decorations.

 

[beaksnbeer]

Sounds like you could have hide it in the oven.

 

[MotorcycleMatt]

Next time you make delicious pork shoulder... don't give her any...

Just Put the bone on her plate next time you make crock pot pork.

What you should have done is put it in the trash, and later dig it out and rescue it, that way she thinks you got rid of it (shes happy) you still get to keep it (your happy) and hide it.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I have 3 balls I will lend to one cause you dont have any.

If I knew you this could have been amusing. I'm going to assume you intended to be funny.

 

[cheezydemon3]

If I knew you this could have been amusing. I'm going to assume you intended to be funny.

Yes, funny from a guy with no wife or girlfriend or respect for the fairer sex.

 

[atreid]

People are so sensitive these days...

 

[Golddiggie]

People are so sensitive these days...

In many cases, I'll agree... But, he should have either selected a better spot to have the bone soaking/cleaning, or done a better job of hiding it during the process.

 

[45_70sharps]

In many cases, I'll agree... But, he should have either selected a better spot to have the bone soaking/cleaning, or done a better job of hiding it during the process.

I don't know. When bone soaking isn't permitted, it's time for a new woman of the house!
Finding a better spot to soak your bone is what makes them mad most the time.

 

[Golddiggie]

I don't know. When bone soaking isn't permitted, it's time for a new woman of the house!
Finding a better spot to soak your bone is what makes them mad most the time.

Well, if she's not doing a good job at cleaning the bone to begin with, then yeah, you should look for an upgrade.

 

[45_70sharps]

Yep, probably just go around back and bury the bone. See if it come out clean. If not, try and soak it in cider.

 

[maxamuus]

I am confused. What are we talking about again?

 

[45_70sharps]

I am confused. What are we talking about again?

Creamy got in trouble for soaking his bone without permission. He said he wanted to make it look scary for the children on Halloween.

 

[Golddiggie]

Creamy got in trouble for soaking his bone without permission. He said he wanted to make it look scary for the children on Halloween.

I think she was more upset over what was floating in the container than the bone itself.

IMO, the kids probably wouldn't have known what the bones were from. I'd get some hunter friends to donate animal bones and use those instead. Things that can be recognized, and some not... Skulls could be a good starting spot. Especially over the door.

 

[cheezydemon3]

Creamy got in trouble for soaking his bone without permission. He said he wanted to make it look scary for the children on Halloween.

where have you been?

duct taping a cat's mouth to your airlock?


My ex would soak the bone for me.

 

[45_70sharps]

Not my airlock. I'm afraid of the off flavors from the cat's breath.

 

[Golddiggie]

Not my airlock. I'm afraid of the off flavors from the cat's breath.

I think we've all seen the video of what you did to that poor frog last time.

 

[ronsky]

James, your first mistake was in letting a *woman* into the man-cave. From all I have been taught that's a big no-no...
Having said that, I have no man-cave. SWMBO runs the house, and I just take up space that could be better devoted to Wicker and Daisy motifs through out the house.(dammit, next I will be complaining about the fact that our duvets don't match the drapes... SAVE ME!)
::buzzed, not drunk::

 

[Spintab]

Then she plugged-in those stupid deodorizer/nightlights shaped like butterflies. It sucked the testosterone clean out of the room.

Duuude, I hate those things.

I've found having a creepy basement that is only accessible from the outside makes an awesome man cave. The creepier the better so SWMBO won't go in there...that is as long as the butterfly air fresheners haven't sucked enough out of you that you find it creepy too.

 

[b-boy]

Duuude, I hate those things.

I've found having a creepy basement that is only accessible from the outside makes an awesome man cave. The creepier the better so SWMBO won't go in there...that is as long as the butterfly air fresheners haven't sucked enough out of you that you find it creepy too.

My basement smells like flowers, not mildew (as a proper basement should). It's depressing.

 

[nmfree]

I'm afraid of the off flavors from the cat's breath.

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

 

[oldstyle69]

i used to have a farm of ants for my bone cleaning. id put an old aquarium over the ant farm (by ant farm i mean a boat load of ants in the woods) with the skulls and bones of animals...they would be nice and cleaned up with in a week.

 

[estricklin]

You should be tar and feathered for making pulled pork in a crock pot.

He's from NY they don't know any better, after my expereince up there with "ginger and rosemary bbq" I believe that good bbq comes from the south exclusively.

I really can't see how a pork bone in a bowl with peroxide is a big deal, your shoulder bone wind chime thing is a little strange but hey it would be cool at halloween.

Once I was doing some yard work and it got dark, gate to my back yard was shut so I opened up the french doors to my bar area and parked my new 4-wheeler in there. SWMBO comes home from work at like midnight and almost trips over it. hahaha It STAYED in the house that night though. My point is you gotta stand your ground, I know it's tough, then again, I'm divorced so maybe you shouldn't take my advice.

 

[estricklin]

James, your first mistake was in letting a *woman* into the man-cave. From all I have been taught that's a big no-no...
Having said that, I have no man-cave. SWMBO runs the house, and I just take up space that could be better devoted to Wicker and Daisy motifs through out the house.(dammit, next I will be complaining about the fact that our duvets don't match the drapes... SAVE ME!)
::buzzed, not drunk::

Exactly!! Then we wouldn't even be having this thread.

I used to joke to the guys about how my ex wife did not know what the inside of my "gun room" looked like. She looked at the room when we bought the house, I put a lock on the door and that was it for years. I asked her once what color the carpet was in there and she replied that it was the same color as the rest of the house, of coarse that room was tiled. No happy ending though, she did decide to take a peak in there on her way out for the last time, and I ended up not being able to find a very nice Colt revolver among a few other pistols, then remmeber how the lock suddenly quit functioning one day I put 2 and 2 together.

 

[BobbiLynn]

Perhaps you want to find a darker cave to hide these treasures?

I agree with this comment, next time just keep your secret treasures a secret. On a shelf in the guest room, no... under the bed in the guest room, in a secret locked box... yes. Just make sure she can't figure out how to open it or booby trap so it makes a lot of noise when she does try, maybe you can catch her in the act and stop the whole event from happening. Just say hey, that's a surprise I was saving for you, what are you trying to do? Ruin the surprise? Then buy her a necklace, but make sure it doesn't have dried out bones hanging from it.