Punchlines....

[Hopfan]

WHAT?!?!?! "He said he knows you"

It's not a pig, it's a dog. "I was talking to the dog"

What do you do? "I'm a tailgunner on a bread truck"

I said I'm looking for Sex. My case comes up Thursday.

How did you know I go to Dr. Roberts? "He's the one that taught me Hickory Dickory Dock"

"If this would get hard, I wouldn't need your brother"

Why did he just stick that up his ass first? "Ever since the cue ball incident, he checks the size first"

Eye - Left it - in - my - box

Would I?!?!? "HAIR LIP, HAIR LIP!!!"

"Not being retarted"

Just then, the Japanese guy jumps up and yells "SUPPLIES!!!"

"... it doesn't mean I got a big furry animal from South America at home"

 

[todd_k]

Wash your hands and go fix me a cheese sandwich!

 

[cha ngo]

I don't know about the other two, but the guy in the middle looks like Willie Nelson.

 

[EvilTOJ]

I'm a frayed knot

 

[Orpheus]

"What!? And you think I wished for a twelve inch pianist!?"

 

[Brewsmith]

"Hey buddy, what's with the long face?"

 

[EvilTOJ]

I walk him, and pitch to the rhino

 

[Hopfan]

I don't know about the other two, but the guy in the middle looks like Willie Nelson.

OMG, haven't heard that one in ages. LMFAO

 

[rdwj]

"for a nickel I will!"

...and if you know the joke - shame on you!!

 

[Yooper]

My all-time favorite punchline-

No, that's were JEWELRY comes from.


Lorena

 

[homebrewer_99]

Take the muzzle off, I want to kiss that Mutha!!!

OK, I'll have sex with the gorilla for $20, but you'll have to wait til payday so I can come up with the money.

I got the patch later the same day as I got the hook.

That's disgusting, I'm trying to eat lunch!

 

[Spyk'd]

...when the polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole!


:cross:

 

[the_bird]

"No, that's just a little ice cream!"


([ame]http://youtube.com/watch?v=61ShZQd03Qc[/ame])

 

[EvilTOJ]

OK but you don't have to hit me on the head with the 2X4

If it weren't for my horse I never would have spent that year in college/

$20, same as in town!

 

[Bernie Brewer]

No, Mon, mine says: "Welcome to Jamaica, Mon- Hope You Enjoy Your Stay"


all those sheep, and you picked the ugliest one!


Yeah the same guy **** in my pants, too!


I meant for you to ride the camel to town, & get a hooker!

 

[homebrewer_99]

I love my Mom, and for $20.00 you can too!...Oh, that's the whole joke... sorry...

 

[Ize]

"with an angelic smile on her face, the blonde suddenly hears, 'No, this is the Manager of the Ice Arena'".



Ize

 

[Hopfan]

I think you better pet him first

Too bad Fergie wasn't here, we could've saved the Rolls.

I cun too.

Now before you look, remember how upset Mom gets when we suck our thumbs...

 

[Reverend JC]

"But NNOOOOOO, and then you F*ck one goat.........................!"

or how about

"There is no F in vanilla"

or

"Its were her ass looks zackry like her face"

all classics, i could go on for hours!

 

[Wolf]

I'm a frayed knot

One of my favorites...

 

[Hopfan]

There is no "freak" in french fries.

Wanna go camping?

 

[Wolf]

The other penguin replies, "No soap. Radio!"

 

[wild]

What's snew with you?

Wild

 

[Bedlam]

YOU'RE thor?! I could barely walk thith mornin'!

RIght before the lights go out, he sees a 250 lb butch lesian wearing a strap-on and a sign saying "If I catch YOU, I fook YOU!"


Happy to post da whole jokes for those interested...

 

[Caplan]

'No Sir, we usually ride the camel into town where the girls are....'

 

[Orfy]

You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!

 

[Rhoobarb]

and the manager says, "There lies the beer that made Mel Famey walk us."

And she called him over and she said, "Son, whatever you do, don't sell that cow!"

..."And finally", the bartender says, "you don't have heartburn, you drunk floozy. Your left t*t is in the ashtray!"

"they only have two moving parts, the mouth and the a**hole - and they're interchangeable."

 

[Hopfan]

Well, your hearing seems to be OK now, let's see what we can do about your sense of smell.

 

[Bernie Brewer]

Yes, but this one's eating my popcorn!


You can start by buying me a drink!


Tacks???? I thought they stayed on by themselves!

 

[sullifan]

Wear the fox hat.

 

[david_42]

"Of course not. She's left-handed!"

And two for the same joke:

It only gets dark once a night. OR It stays dark all night.

 

[sudsmonkey]

Poof! The Genie turned him into a tampon.

I fall on my a$$, stupid!

Here's my buckin' ears! Where's your buckin' eyes?

" A good goat will do that!"

" They call me the Baby." the blonde replied. The salesman said " Well I'm the damn fool that slept in the barn!"

" I know what you think I said. What I meant was, I wanted to see the horse jog" (Midget to a horse farmer)

" Tastes great! Less filling!"

" and if this was four inches shorter, it'd be a super penis!"

 

[Bernie Brewer]

And the moral is: Hare today, Goon tomorrow.

 

[cha ngo]

Judging from the smell on his fingers, I'd say our son-in-law.

 

[sudsmonkey]

Judging from the smell on his fingers, I'd say our son-in-law.

That's just sooo wrong!

 

[Hopfan]

But you don't understand...I only get a hard on once or twice a year! I fall down 3 or 4 times a day!

 

[homebrewer_99]

But you don't understand...I only get a hard on once or twice a year! I fall down 3 or 4 times a day!

I heard that as: ...I only get hard once a month, but I drop my cigar 8-10 times a day!

...you know, we really do taste like chicken...

...a Hummel is a knick-knack Patty Whack, give the frog a loan...

...you don't understand...Chunk's is my dog...

...none, it should be open when she brings it to you...

...everyone wants to be Irish on St Patty's Day...

 

[Walker]

... But with the grace of god and a forked stick, I got them back in.

... No, you idiot. I said "Posse".

... That's the milking machine and it doesn't stop until it gets a half gallon.

... For get the spit... did you see the lips on the guy that did it?

... Thank god! I thought I was crippled!

 

[Hopfan]

OMG, reading all of these keeps reminding me of others. LMAO

No thanks, if the first 9 shots didn't get rid of the taste, I don't think one more will help.

 

[Hopfan]

...
... That's the milking machine and it doesn't stop until it gets a half gallon.

BRILLIANT!!!!