Post the stupid things you did when drunk

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haha, one of the other people made a huge sign, maybe 40x40 foot with his mums mobile number followed by a nice little message ;)

they hung it over one of the big billboards next to one of the busiest roads in our area hehe.
 
well I feel alot better after reading these posts. Ive never drank my buddies c snot that is whacked. there would have been a beating. Holy crap I feel like my own raging alcoholism is almost mellow. lmao, good reads:ban:
 
Got S. faced once with some buddies in high school. We stole one of those big blue mail boxes from outside the post office and put it in the back of a pickup truck at a garage down the road. Breakin' the law!!!

I water skied on the back half of a surfboard at night once when I was blasted.

Got drunk and put an American flag at the top of a 200' antenna tower the night Desert Storm started.

My roomate from college and I used to carry a cooler of beer to the top of a big high tension electric lne tower. Had to climb between the power lines for that. We were up there once when it started to rain. All the hair on my body was standing up before I got back to the ground. A guy with the power company later told me that those lines carried 750,000 volts. It's the amperage that gets you.:rockin:
 
sudsmonkey said:
My roomate from college and I used to carry a cooler of beer to the top of a big high tension electric lne tower. Had to climb between the power lines for that. We were up there once when it started to rain. All the hair on my body was standing up before I got back to the ground. A guy with the power company later told me that those lines carried 750,000 volts. It's the amperage that gets you.:rockin:
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:eek: wow...... :S
 
Dear lord, you people are degenerates!

  • My favorite one...anyone go to Arizona State? Me and some friends climbed up the butte, covered the A in paper towels and lighter fluid and set it on fire.
  • Also at ASU, was walking home from a bar and got to a cannal. Decided that I didn't want to walk to the bridge and thought I could jump it. Ended up in the canal climbing out by using my bare knees on the concrete walls. Ouch.
  • Once I made a bet that I could hold seven types of hot sauce on my tongue, one at a time. So I know the habanero hell the next day.
  • A couple of times, I ended up hooking up with ugly girls.
  • Had sex with a guy.
  • Had a cop drive me around because I was too drunk to find my car. When we found it in a used car lot, he decided it would be better if he drove me home. I admitted to being under 21 at the time.
  • Got a DUI
  • Got pulled over once RAGING drunk with a girl I worked with. When the cop asked for my license, my response was "I need to find my pants". She was naked too, and had been giving me road-skull at the time.
  • Drove around looking for hookers to make fun of.
 
Cheesefood said:
....Had sex with a guy.
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:eek: What?!?!? How?!?! Did you think it was a girl??

I know that kind of stuff is common among Cub fans, but most of them don't admit it :D
 
Cheesefood said:
Ummm....yeah. No, I knew. It was a college thing. Well, a little after college.
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Gotta give you a tip of the cap for being big enough to admit it - not sure I would have.

I can't help myself - gotta ask one more question and I'll try to do it in the most PG way I can think of...

Were you Barrett or Zambrano??
 
rdwj said:
Gotta you give you a tip of the cap for being big enough to admit it - not sure I would have.

I can't help myself - gotta ask one more question and I'll try to do it in the most PG way I can think of...

Were you Barrett or Zambrano??
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Funny you should ask. My last name is Barrett. But I've never had an intra-scrotal hematoma.

Let me state this for the record though: I've never had semen in my mouth or any other part of my body, or on my body (except for my own). There's a couple of guys here who can't say the same thing.

You seem very interested. I'm assuming you've never had the courage to find out whether or not your gay? I know from experience that I'm not. I mean, a mouth is a mouth, but as a lot of people in this forum know, I ***LOVE*** nekkid women.
 
Chairman Cheyco said:
Yeah, props to 'food, that's damn near inspiring! (Not that have anything to be inspired into talking about in that area.)
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And not that there's anything wrong with that, right? (To quote Seinfeld.)
 
Cheesefood said:
You seem very interested. I'm assuming you've never had the courage to find out whether or not your gay?
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Ya, very interested! It's a pretty crazy thing to admit! I have no problem with people that are gay and can even tell you which guys I might like if I went that way, but I don't think it's necessary for me to try before I know.

I've seen my fair share of naked guys and have even accidentally downloaded "movies" that weren't what I expected and it does nothing for me.
 
rdwj said:
I don't think it's necessary for me to try before I know.
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I used to think I'd never like black coffee, or bourbon, or statistics, or broccoli.

Then I tried them and made up my mind. Apart from that, it was one of those "If I really want to get the most out of my life, I have to take chances and try new things" moments. It wasn't for me. Not that it didn't "work", but that it just wasn't aesthetically pleasing. But at least I'm sure that I know.

I guess it was something I just had to experience.

Now, hasn't anyone else done anything crazy when drunk?
 
I guess I should fess up with something even though mine is very tame compared to some of the other stuff here.

When was in my late teens, I was at a wedding for a good friend's sister. One of the Bride’s Maids was my friends second cousin and we hit it off. We drank, danced, and I was pretty much all over her. We were both hammered and sitting at a table talking when this waiter came over and asked the girl I was with if she was ok and if she needed anything. I wanted to sober up a bit, so I kinda interrupted the guy and told him to bring me a glass of water.

He gave a look like he didn’t understand, so I repeated myself – a little ruder and said something about it being his job. The waiter left mumbling something I didn’t understand and I was a little pissed because I wanted a glass of freakin’ water!!

I asked the girl I was with – “Can you believe that a-hole waiter!?!?”

She answered, “That’s not a waiter, that’s my dad!”

Turns out what I thought was a waiter uniform was his tux without the jacket. I didn’t REALLY put it all together until the next day and was pretty surprised that…

  1. Her dad didn’t wipe the floor with me
  2. I still got some from the bride’s maid!!
 
OK,

That last one reminds me so I'll bite.

I was at a Halloween party once in Vancouver. I was drinking quite heavily and noticed one guy leaning against the wall, in no costume, but without an arm.

I went right up to him and told him what a cool costume that was, and asked him how he made the missing arm look so real.

It was when I grabbed his stump and started rubbing it that I realized this was not a part of his costume, but his real stump from his real missing arm. I was too drunk to tell the difference.

I took my foot out of my mouth and promptly inserted a few more pints to drown my embarassment.
 
Orpheus said:
...It was when I grabbed his stump and started rubbing it that I realized this was not a part of his costume, but his real stump from his real missing arm.
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OMG is that funny!
 
While awaiting the arrival of some friends that were driving up from SoCal, my wife to be and a few other friends were killing the time drinking Pina Coladas.

LOTS of Pina Coladas.

TOO MANY Pina Coladas.

For a reason that I still do not understand, I ended up in the garage of the house we were in and somehow managed to put a 16 penny nail directly through the knuckle at the base of my middle finger.

And no, I never felt a thing.

Woke up the next day and my hand was stiff and sore, and I had nearly forgotten about the nail.

The day after that I awoke to find my hand had swollen to the size of a softball and I had the curious red line running up my arm.

Now I am not the brighest bulb on the tree but even I knew it wasnt good.

The specialist that saw me took one horrified look, determined that it was a nail and instantly admitted me to the hospital for IV AntiBiotics for a week.

He was rather bemused when he told me I wouldnt have had to worry if I had waited to come in. I would have been dead in another 36 hours.

One day I shall tell you a story about me, a 12 pack, a skill saw and why they call me lefty.

Cheers,

knewshound
 
OK.......... I was at a college party in a friends apartment. It was getting pretty late and I was feeling Noooooo pain. After realizing I had no more beer in my cup, I started to wards the kitchen where the kegs were placed. To my surprise there was a line! WTF! So, in my infinite wisdom decided that if I climbed out on the balcony I could swig and jump myself onto the other balcony of the kitchen. That's right ..........did I mention it was on the fourth floor?..........Well, I missed! Shocking , I know! And proceeded to fall into the bushes below , and missed astand pipe by about twelve inches. A slight concussion, some bruises, and two days in the hospital were all I needed.

But I did have a great big keg party when I got home!
 
We seem to be a twisted lot ( especially Puumba) who have lived some crazy crap( Brewpastor drinking India water) and experienced much of what life has to offer( Cheesefood. Let me say that I appreciate your courage in sharing with the group. I'm a little weirded out by it, but that's my problem.). It's a miracle that we all grew up to reach the legal drinking age! Maybe we've all matured now. Maybe it's just that store-bought alcohol makes you do crazy stuff. I don't know. I outgrew my deathwish at 21. The alcoholism remains the same. It's nice to still be here to look back on the dumb stuff. Glad to be here. Glad you guys made it, too.

Buncha drunks!:tank:
 
Cheesefood said:
I used to think I'd never like black coffee, or bourbon, or statistics, or broccoli.


Now, hasn't anyone else done anything crazy when drunk?
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Nope. . . .the habanero 'bout does it for me.

You guys are making me look lame!!:cross:
 
Biermann said:
Nope. . . .the habanero 'bout does it for me.

You guys are making me look lame!!:cross:
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Take that back: I thought of a couple more.

. . . I kissed an older, middle aged (female) coworker in front of my (then fiance) when drunk--but it was a dare thing.

I also had some hot chick come up and make out with me on my bachelor party night when I was really really drunk. (I was a victim--and I think she was there with a bachelorette party, and was equally drunk). I then proceeded to tell my fiance about it (and about the strip joint) when I got home.

Its amazing she still married me. That said, I'm proud to say that those were the only indiscretions EVER.
 
4 pints of Killian's Red

2 bottles of Boone's Farm (strawberry hill)

a pint of Smirnoff 100 + kahlua + about a pint of heavy whipping cream (racing octane White Russians)

started at 7 PM, got done drinking the above at about 10 PM. (at the volunteer fire hall no less). about 10:30 I decided that I was gonna be sick or die or something, so I induced me some puking (can't stand running my finger down my throat). felt TONS better, sat down to rest in the fire hall parking lot. and woke up at 1:30 AM with my 2 buddies and a couple local skanks (one of whom my buddy was wanting to hook up with, desperate times ya know) staring at me, flat of my back...

next morning my dad looked at me funny... asked stuff such as "what'd y'all do last night" and other unusual questions (parents usually pretty cool). I said "hung out at the fire hall"; kind of tried to blow it off... when I put my boots on by the front a couple hours later, they was 1/3 leather and 2/3 chunks of soured cream from them so-called white russians....

So the next time I got really good n' lit (drank a couple bottles of wild irish rose on top of a jumbo fish platter with extra slaw and hushpuppies from Captain D's), I remembered to crawl up in the back of the truck to avoid the splatter problem. Didn't have to run my finger down my throat that time though.

I also drank 5 23 oz pilsners (BL) at a restaurant, and ate a giant plate of nachos. then decided we needed some Miller Lite for the trip home. after the second one of them, the truck got small and started spinning. it was about 25 degrees outside, I had my head out the sliding back window puking into the bed of my buddy's brand new pickup... and he was drunk (other guy sober and driving) saying "WTF did you eat??? damn it smells good!!!!"

nachos was so diluted they had no bile in 'em, and did smell pretty good....

I survived by:

1) always getting "half sobered" before I went to bed - the white russian night was the only time I ever been real hung over, and it lasted 2 days.
2) always having a sober driver (completely sober)
3) not liking any kind of liquor (white russians the only exception)

there was also the time I tried to hook up with a local skank, she wanted to see how fast my Trans Am would run... we hit 140 with the T-tops out. glad one of the local morons from the fire hall parking lot crew insisted on tagging along, I would have regretted her (now). which brings me to rule 4:

4) never even a sip while driving the T/A (man I miss that car)
 
been caught waking up from a drunken stuper and taking a piss in the cat box.



I miss the college years sometimes :mug:
 
Bier,

You may want to start a poll on this one... I'm gonna have to go back and re-read, but methinks Pumbaa may be in the lead with his, however Freebird, man the food PBP is out of control...

My crap is tame...

Parking lot surfing on a large rectangular metal meat tray, at the end of a chain, behind a jeep in the parking lot of the steakhouse I used to work at in St. Louis. Poor-mans' road rash...

Night of my bachelor party, after the Cardinals game, took a leak in the Arch Parking garage in downtown St. Louis before heading to the Landing. Make a mental note to yourself, NEVER pi$$ in Arch Parking. Or at least don't get caught. It's Federal Property. The 2 Park cops were NOT amused. There was holster fondling believe it or not.... Got me a $50 Federal ticket which I paid, versus the Federal Warrant they would have put on my a$$ if I hadn't... (gimme a break, I had to pi$$, it's a PARKING GARAGE for pity's sake...) 50 bux to take a leak....

This one is hard to explain. Imagine seeing a billboard from your car on the Interstate. One for the local tv station with their 10 o'clock anchors' big heads and cheesy smiles. Note the tops of their head protrude ABOVE the top edge of the billboard... For some reason the logic of drinking requires you to climb the billboard in the dark of night above the interstate and remove the top of the sports guys head... (His name was Zip, <no joke> this may have contributed to the motivation) The next night, drinking required us to go back for the top of the news anchors' head. I distinctly remember local law enforcement that evening, but never actually encountered them. Don't even ASK where we hid the tops of the heads. That's a whole 'nother story... :drunk:

While not even close to my respected brethren who have posted before me, these were a couple of standouts. More will occur to me over my varying states of consciousness. :D

Ize
 
Yeah, we could have a "fall out poll" on who posted the most decadent/stupidest drunk tales on here...

I vote for pumbaa. . . although there are a few that rival him.

:mug:
 

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