Most annoying response when you tell someone you're a homebrewer?

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MaryB said:
5 1/2 hour brew day today, yeah that is a quick easy way to get drunk!
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I hear you. We’ll be starting a 12+ hour brew day shortly so we can get 50 gallons of our 8% DiPA done today. To think, I called out of my regular job, so I could work 12+ hours in the brewery today. #Goodtimes
 
Manfish said:
I hear you. We’ll be starting a 12+ hour brew day shortly so we can get 50 gallons of our 8% DiPA done today. To think, I called out of my regular job, so I could work 12+ hours in the brewery today. #Goodtimes
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should cross-post in "you know you're a homebrewer when..." thread
 
You know when you're drinking with a home brewer and you're drunk after 5 hours of brewing and you don't remember how you got home.

Feck you don't recall what you drank that made you Fecken drunk that day.

Need more homebrew to remember and possibly fergit what one drank last night.
 
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When they assume I am an alcoholic because I brew gets me pissed cause it's supposed to be anonymous? But God has gave me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference so screw those people
 
"You must be willing to drink a lot of bad beer."

That statement comes from some dunce who can't scramble an egg. Life is better when you can be proud of the things you create.

My beer is delicious and you wish you had some.
 
I have a sister-in-law that actually likes some of my beers and ciders. Last Christmas she asked for a taste of my IPA, but I've learned that she doesn't really like hop forward beers. I tried to talk her out of it, but she finally pushed me into giving her a small glass for a taste. She made the dumbest pucker face and then proclaimed that it was "so bitter, ooh that's gross". I almost slapped her, but instead I grabbed my glass right out of her hand. Vowed to never let her taste my beers again.
 
yowzers said:
I have a sister-in-law that actually likes some of my beers and ciders. Last Christmas she asked for a taste of my IPA, but I've learned that she doesn't really like hop forward beers. I tried to talk her out of it, but she finally pushed me into giving her a small glass for a taste. She made the dumbest pucker face and then proclaimed that it was "so bitter, ooh that's gross". I almost slapped her, but instead I grabbed my glass right out of her hand. Vowed to never let her taste my beers again.
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happened with the miserable excuse of a human being who wouldn't marry my father, but now calls herself his "widow"

begged me to let her try my first barleywine (which wasn't that bad, turned out better than I thought and was MUCH better than my 2nd attempt) and I tried to talk her out of it. she took one sip, spit it out and proceeded to tell everyone present how horrible it was
 
So far no complaints about my beer... but I am not a hop head so nothing is overly bitter. Now my mead attempts have gotten some weird looks... all have been drinkable but I think the alcohol content surprises people who are thinking 5% beer like my "house" ale that gets brewed the most. They take to big of a drink of a 14%ABV mead and can't decide what to do LOL
 
Imagine if we took the negative responses towards homebrewing and redirected them towards other hobbies...

"I'm a gourmet chef."
"Cool. Can you make a Big Mac?" (analogous to the Bud Lite response)

"I'm a gardner."
"But you could just buy fruits and vegetables at the store. You're just looking for the quick and easy way to eat healthy."

"I make scented candles."
"Isn't that illegal?"

"I'm a photographer."
"Do you develop your film in the bathtub?"

"I'm a musician."
"If you create your own music that's just an unhealthy obsession!"
 
Been brewing for about 7 years and i quit telling strangers or acquaintances about 6.5 years ago, my wife generally brings it u in conversation which in turns brings the look on people’s faces “oh wow her husband is an alcoholic” or “Matt makes illegal moonshine “ or “ I didn’t know he was a scientist “
/facepalm
 
ShareBrewing said:
This is one of my biggest pet-peeves when I share beer. I always say to pour it out and when they ask why, I simply say, "it's just the chemistry." Have had to explain this so many times that I just avoid the long-winded rant.

Trust is, most people don't care about drinking something properly or if it tastes wrong due to that fact. They just want to drink the damn beer.
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I always tell them that 50% of flavor perception is smell; when you drink from the bottle you can’t smell a beer you are not ‘tasting’ it.

If they don’t believe that aroma is 50% of flavor perception, I usually have an onion, apple, and blindfold handy to make a demonstration

https://www.google.com/amp/s/m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_595d40d8e4b085e766b50fd4/amp
 
A lot of people come and go in the house I brew at, and we get all kinds of comments. I expect at least one moonshine, meth, or bathtub comment per brew session.

A week ago we were making a parti-gyle barley wine/saison and this one guy drops by. He asks what we're up to brewin, and then launches into a lecture about how the Hopi brewed the first beer (not sure if that's correct...) He ended up staying and talking for like an hour, but my buddies took most of the heat while I brewed. We can mark him down for the "Is this illegal?" question as well. Also he wore no shoes (by choice) on our sticky, mashy floor. I couldn't tell if that'd be miserable or liberating.

My friends are actually quite a luxury when it comes to brewing. They'll help out with grunt work in exchange for a 6 pack, and I frequently have them taste test beer. Hell just yesterday I got two of them to try my flat, warm 9.3% barley wine :yes:

I'm surprised they've been so open, since the first beer I made them try was a yeasty, gushy IPA. But I've also treated them a few times since to make up for it.

I also find they're more interested in the brewing process when they help make it too, so I can ramble more. One of them brews mead on his own anyway, which is a great source of geeky convos.

I'll just have to get my BMC nonsense from strangers.
 
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Trying to explain how the term ‘wine’ is used in the alcohol industry... and then spend the next 5 minutes elaborating how a mead (honey-wine) or sake (rice-wine) doesn’t actually have grapes in it... SMH
 
Norselord said:
I always tell them that 50% of flavor perception is smell; when you drink from the bottle you can’t smell a beer you are not ‘tasting’ it.

If they don’t believe that aroma is 50% of flavor perception, I usually have an onion, apple, and blindfold handy to make a demonstration

https://www.google.com/amp/s/m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_595d40d8e4b085e766b50fd4/amp
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With a plugged nose, i agree. But otherwise you do get flavor perception, even from bottle, by the simple fact that the aroma do permeate the nasal passages by way of pharynx. A occurrence often referred to as a retro-hale.
 
Brewed 2 days ago... Fedex guy walks up to the garage(I had the overhead door open and was cleaning up) looks at the copper immersion chiller and flips out his phone and dials 911. Tells dispatch I am making moonshine and get a deputy out. Deputy was in town(one finally bought a house here so we have police coverage). Deputy walks up, says "HI Mary! What kind of beer can I sample in 2 weeks?" Fedex guys mouth hangs open and he starts stammering I am making moonshine illegally... deputy looks at him and says "it is beer, it is tasty, and get lost you idiot!".

Fedex guy stomped off to his truck muttering he was calling MN state patrol... who called the deputy, who told them it was a beer making setup. State patrol guy stopped in yesterday to check it out, said he has done some extract kits but has never seen a full blown all grain setup. I got his phone number and told him next time I brew I will try to work it into his schedule and he can see how easy it is. And can be done somewhat on a budget by scrounging!

Gave him my last 2 bottles of my "house" ale(one I make the most, friends all love it and it is a good easy drinking beer) I had in the fridge. I don't bottle much, normally keg but one keg is dented and holds less so I had enough left for 5 bottles last time around. Save them for when I want one at the end of brewing or to hand out as a sample. Might have a new convert to all grain brewing!
 
Did the FedEx guy have a package for you?

Like a new keg from northern brewer?

LOL

Gotta ask, why was he that close to your house to see a chiller.
 
MaryB said:
Brewed 2 days ago... Fedex guy walks up to the garage(I had the overhead door open and was cleaning up) looks at the copper immersion chiller and flips out his phone and dials 911. Tells dispatch I am making moonshine and get a deputy out. Deputy was in town(one finally bought a house here so we have police coverage). Deputy walks up, says "HI Mary! What kind of beer can I sample in 2 weeks?" Fedex guys mouth hangs open and he starts stammering I am making moonshine illegally... deputy looks at him and says "it is beer, it is tasty, and get lost you idiot!".

Fedex guy stomped off to his truck muttering he was calling MN state patrol... who called the deputy, who told them it was a beer making setup. State patrol guy stopped in yesterday to check it out, said he has done some extract kits but has never seen a full blown all grain setup. I got his phone number and told him next time I brew I will try to work it into his schedule and he can see how easy it is. And can be done somewhat on a budget by scrounging!

Gave him my last 2 bottles of my "house" ale(one I make the most, friends all love it and it is a good easy drinking beer) I had in the fridge. I don't bottle much, normally keg but one keg is dented and holds less so I had enough left for 5 bottles last time around. Save them for when I want one at the end of brewing or to hand out as a sample. Might have a new convert to all grain brewing!
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That might be my favorite homebrew story ever! Why in hell does your FedEx guy give a **** if you ARE making shine? Yeah, FedEx would be getting a call and if homeskillet continues to work for them and continues to deliver packages to you, inspect every one of them with a fine tooth comb!
 
GilaMinumBeer said:
I have that mug too. And an elaborate collection of beer glassware alongside of it. The glassware is mostly just the result of numerous glass packs. I just find it counter-intuitive of some claiming to appreciate/enjoy beer when they have this long list of pre-requisites on how they consume it. "Correctly matched to style glass to be cleaned by polynesian virgins on the third day of the summer equinox, heated/chilled to 37.268 degrees farenheight. Beer to poured from exactly 4.674" above rim, rested by turning in a circle three times. First sip prohibited before complete spectroscopy color analysis is completed. Discussion of flavor must include descriptors of things like dark fruit and artisinal breads before second sip may be partaken." Meanwhile, while that one is still analyzing things 40 minutes later, I'm on my second or third glass.

I mean, I get it. If that is what it takes for YOU to enjoy a beer then by all means, you do you. Just don't insist that I have to also before I can understand what I am drinking.

Only thing that confuses me more than some of this beer-geekery is the wine tasters who have to make the water whistle noise while taking their sip.
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There's a local guy who's brewed for more than 20 years; some see him as a guru, and he may well think of himself that way. I've given him a few beers to try to give me feedback, and I'm perplexed/shocked/amazed at his responses.

He RATES them. Is carbonation correct for the style, this or that, a long checklist of things. I couldn't care less, frankly, about whether I nailed a style or not. I just wanted to know this:

Is it any good? Would you have another? That, btw, is my basic measure of whether my beer is good--do people have a second one?

I'm not going through all those "flavor descriptor" things. All I care is whether I like it and like it enough to want another.
 
MattyHBT said:
When they assume I am an alcoholic because I brew gets me pissed cause it's supposed to be anonymous? But God has gave me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference so screw those people
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I get a lot of "Wow, you must drink a lot of beer!" I give my spent grain to a friend who has chickens. I recycle the grain, feel good about myself for doing that, and the chickens are happy.

Anyway, took some spent grain over a few days ago. I swear she's keeping count. She, again, expressed amazement. I finally blurted out, "Do you think I'm drinking all of that myself?"
 
MaryB said:
So far no complaints about my beer... but I am not a hop head so nothing is overly bitter. Now my mead attempts have gotten some weird looks... all have been drinkable but I think the alcohol content surprises people who are thinking 5% beer like my "house" ale that gets brewed the most. They take to big of a drink of a 14%ABV mead and can't decide what to do LOL
Click to expand...

Some of the first high ABV mead I ever made is still around ... not for drinking, mind you, but for cooking. As a rule, much of what's made and drank in my home rarely exceeds 8-10% ABV as I'm no fan of distilled spirits.
The wife will use my leftover strong brew for cooking sometimes. Matter of fact, the last thing my strong mead was used for was marinating shrimp, and yes, it was good.
 
MaryB said:
Brewed 2 days ago... Fedex guy walks up to the garage(I had the overhead door open and was cleaning up) looks at the copper immersion chiller and flips out his phone and dials 911. Tells dispatch I am making moonshine and get a deputy out. Deputy was in town(one finally bought a house here so we have police coverage). Deputy walks up, says "HI Mary! What kind of beer can I sample in 2 weeks?" Fedex guys mouth hangs open and he starts stammering I am making moonshine illegally... deputy looks at him and says "it is beer, it is tasty, and get lost you idiot!".

Fedex guy stomped off to his truck muttering he was calling MN state patrol... who called the deputy, who told them it was a beer making setup. State patrol guy stopped in yesterday to check it out, said he has done some extract kits but has never seen a full blown all grain setup. I got his phone number and told him next time I brew I will try to work it into his schedule and he can see how easy it is. And can be done somewhat on a budget by scrounging!

Gave him my last 2 bottles of my "house" ale(one I make the most, friends all love it and it is a good easy drinking beer) I had in the fridge. I don't bottle much, normally keg but one keg is dented and holds less so I had enough left for 5 bottles last time around. Save them for when I want one at the end of brewing or to hand out as a sample. Might have a new convert to all grain brewing!
Click to expand...

Wow what a d bag
 
mongoose33 said:
There's a local guy who's brewed for more than 20 years; some see him as a guru, and he may well think of himself that way. I've given him a few beers to try to give me feedback, and I'm perplexed/shocked/amazed at his responses.

He RATES them. Is carbonation correct for the style, this or that, a long checklist of things. I couldn't care less, frankly, about whether I nailed a style or not. I just wanted to know this:

Is it any good? Would you have another? That, btw, is my basic measure of whether my beer is good--do people have a second one?

I'm not going through all those "flavor descriptor" things. All I care is whether I like it and like it enough to want another.
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On one hand that'd actually be handy if you're submitting that beer for a competition.

On the other hand that guy needs to relax and just drink a beer.
 
ClockCodes said:
On one hand that'd actually be handy if you're submitting that beer for a competition.

On the other hand that guy needs to relax and just drink a beer.
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My evolution as a homebrewer is a funny thing. At the outset, I was all focused on hitting numbers, matching the style exactly, that sort of thing.

Over time, I realized that those are a set of handcuffs. OK if you're into that kind of bondage, but it tends to ignore/dismiss the reason that most of us brew--to produce great beer.

I think hitting a style is important if you're a brewery and your label (Pilsner, Stout, Hefe, Saison) is how people are choosing what to drink. I get it, and I get the need for consistency--something I strive for myself.

But in the end, I don't care if it's a Pils that tends a bit toward....something else, but it still tastes great, people ask for more than one, that kind of thing.

************

I don't take that guy's commentary as gospel; he has told me that the best two palates I should have judge my beers belong to the LHBS owner, and a local guy I know. Local guy had a couple of my beers, and I asked him to be ruthless, but he could have hardly been more effusive in his praise. That's when I started to think I might be figuring this out. Meanwhile, local guru? Didn't think much of them. So do I believe local-palate guy who loved them, or local-guru guy who had little good to say?

I'm putting my money on local-palate guy. And my own palate. The beers are good, even great. Local guru guy can take a hike. I've come to suspect some of it is he may feel threatened by me. Each time I've seen him and tell him some process I'm trying to figure out, he'll quiz me to make sure I know that there are other things I should be noting too. Yeah. Except the beer is great.
 
MaryB said:
Brewed 2 days ago... Fedex guy walks up to the garage(I had the overhead door open and was cleaning up) looks at the copper immersion chiller and flips out his phone and dials 911. Tells dispatch I am making moonshine and get a deputy out. Deputy was in town(one finally bought a house here so we have police coverage). Deputy walks up, says "HI Mary! What kind of beer can I sample in 2 weeks?" Fedex guys mouth hangs open and he starts stammering I am making moonshine illegally... deputy looks at him and says "it is beer, it is tasty, and get lost you idiot!".

Fedex guy stomped off to his truck muttering he was calling MN state patrol... who called the deputy, who told them it was a beer making setup. State patrol guy stopped in yesterday to check it out, said he has done some extract kits but has never seen a full blown all grain setup. I got his phone number and told him next time I brew I will try to work it into his schedule and he can see how easy it is. And can be done somewhat on a budget by scrounging!

Gave him my last 2 bottles of my "house" ale(one I make the most, friends all love it and it is a good easy drinking beer) I had in the fridge. I don't bottle much, normally keg but one keg is dented and holds less so I had enough left for 5 bottles last time around. Save them for when I want one at the end of brewing or to hand out as a sample. Might have a new convert to all grain brewing!
Click to expand...

My plumber recently was over to fix something, and he saw my Hydra chiller. Asked if it was for distilling moonshine. I explained, of course. He noted he knows someone who would be interested in how it is constructed..... :)

Mary, if I were you, I think I might call FedEx and complain. Without asking you first what you were doing, the guy immediately jumped to the conclusion you were moonshining. Guilty until proven innocent.

I'm sure this jackass is also cataloging what he's delivering to people's houses. I think I would rather such a person wasn't delivering in my neighborhood.
 
Schlenkerla said:
With what happened in San Bernardino, see something, say something isn't a bad idea. But to hang around for kudos and give the local cop $hit and then call the state is d-bag for sure.
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He's probably spying for someone who *is* moonshining, and trying to eliminate the competition. :)

The amazing thing about this to me: who believes someone doing illegal moonshining would do it in their garage with the doors open for all the world to see?
 
Schlenkerla said:
With what happened in San Bernardino, see something, say something isn't a bad idea. But to hang around for kudos and give the local cop $hit and then call the state is d-bag for sure.
Click to expand...

Oh yeah see something say something is a great ideal, but see something call 911 wait there for police then say you’re calling different law enforcement, yeah like come on man even if she was distilling it isn’t that serious mind your $&@“ing business, thousands of people distill illegally i would bet, the police have bigger fish to fry out there, just my humble opinion
 
MaryB said:
Brewed 2 days ago... Fedex guy walks up to the garage(I had the overhead door open and was cleaning up) looks at the copper immersion chiller and flips out his phone and dials 911. Tells dispatch I am making moonshine and get a deputy out. Deputy was in town(one finally bought a house here so we have police coverage). Deputy walks up, says "HI Mary! What kind of beer can I sample in 2 weeks?" Fedex guys mouth hangs open and he starts stammering I am making moonshine illegally... deputy looks at him and says "it is beer, it is tasty, and get lost you idiot!".

Fedex guy stomped off to his truck muttering he was calling MN state patrol... who called the deputy, who told them it was a beer making setup. State patrol guy stopped in yesterday to check it out, said he has done some extract kits but has never seen a full blown all grain setup. I got his phone number and told him next time I brew I will try to work it into his schedule and he can see how easy it is. And can be done somewhat on a budget by scrounging!

Gave him my last 2 bottles of my "house" ale(one I make the most, friends all love it and it is a good easy drinking beer) I had in the fridge. I don't bottle much, normally keg but one keg is dented and holds less so I had enough left for 5 bottles last time around. Save them for when I want one at the end of brewing or to hand out as a sample. Might have a new convert to all grain brewing!
Click to expand...

I think I'd call FedEx and complain. That is completely uncalled for and I think his bosses would agree.
 
Rhaop said:
Oh yeah see something say something is a great ideal, but see something call 911 wait there for police then say you’re calling different law enforcement, yeah like come on man even if she was distilling it isn’t that serious mind your $&@“ing business, thousands of people distill illegally i would bet, the police have bigger fish to fry out there, just my humble opinion
Click to expand...
I don't know if distilling is illegal, but it's generally the attempt at distribution that bites people.
 
I've never heard an annoying response from someone that just heard I brew beer. It generally leads to a pleasant conversation. Some people seem mystified by it and have a lot of questions. Others don't have much to say, but don't appear to be negatively judgmental. Some remain expressionless and have nothing to say. They are probably stabbing me behind my back when I'm not around.
 
Schlenkerla said:
Did the FedEx guy have a package for you?

Like a new keg from northern brewer?

LOL

Gotta ask, why was he that close to your house to see a chiller.
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Package yes, not a new keg. I was cleaning up and had the garage door open when he stopped to drop off some ham radio amplifier parts... one of my other hobbies that can make beer brewing look very cheap!
 
TANSTAAFB said:
That might be my favorite homebrew story ever! Why in hell does your FedEx guy give a **** if you ARE making shine? Yeah, FedEx would be getting a call and if homeskillet continues to work for them and continues to deliver packages to you, inspect every one of them with a fine tooth comb!
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I rarely get the same fedex driver twice. They hate this route and quit because it is very rural and you get into the boondocks sometimes... back where some families do make shine! My grocery shopping twice a month is a 60 mile round trip... yes I am tiny town middle of nowhere rural!

I don't like Fedex, they know me well because the dirtbags leave my packages all over town... this driver has been to my house 3 times, and probably the last. He dumped my other 2 packages in 2 different spots in town and I went ballistic on fedex for it. Chronic problem, we take packages to the city office and the town clerk call whoever it is for to let them know where it is... So my guess is the dude thought he could get back at me for getting him in hot water...
 
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