is this CONSIDERED lying or not?

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I started skimming only after the first page or two, and I'm not trying to be a jerk or anything, but do I have this right:

OP asked for the phone number of an acquaintance who supplies illegal fireworks. Wife employs a diversion and doesn't provide that number. OP doesn't get illegal fireworks.
 
JonM said:
I started skimming only after the first page or two, and I'm not trying to be a jerk or anything, but do I have this right:

OP asked for the phone number of an acquaintance who supplies illegal fireworks. Wife employs a diversion and doesn't provide that number. OP doesn't get illegal fireworks.
Click to expand...

You, Sir, are a master when it comes to the subtle art of subtext.
 
JonM said:
I started skimming only after the first page or two, and I'm not trying to be a jerk or anything, but do I have this right:

OP asked for the phone number of an acquaintance who supplies illegal fireworks. Wife employs a diversion and doesn't provide that number. OP doesn't get illegal fireworks.
Click to expand...

A romantic tragedy in three parts.

Part One: The Deception
 
I have found, in most cases, all people are, to a certain degree, not exactly what the other person wants and admires in a relationship. Sometimes the small things add up to cause disruption and animosity. People can't let things go. That #$% digs at your mind until you start seeing all kinds of bad things in the other person. It probably goes both ways, for right or for wrong.

There HAS to be more to this, and at any rate, getting a simple yes/no answer for your question would be impossible because we just don't know if she is lying. She might have known about the phone number, or she might be telling the truth.

As long as we're supposing, though, it sounds to me like she didn't want you playing with fireworks. Women can be that way. And possibly the reason she didn't want to flat out say that she didn't want you to play with fireworks is because she knows it will start an argument. "Some people" seem to want to go off on the simplest of things. IYKWIM...

If you still want our opinions, please be advised that almost all of us couldn't care any less, and a lot of us are just EAGER to make jokes and snide comments.

She probably doesn't want you to know she knows the number because she is actually having an affair with the friend's husband and she thinks that if she lets you know she knows his number you will figure out she is having an affair! The truth is obvious if you really look very hard and use your imagination.
 
JonM said:
I started skimming only after the first page or two, and I'm not trying to be a jerk or anything, but do I have this right:

OP asked for the phone number of an acquaintance who supplies illegal fireworks. Wife employs a diversion and doesn't provide that number. OP doesn't get illegal fireworks.
Click to expand...

Pretty much. That and cabarets are not strip clubs on sundays.
 
Homercidal said:
She probably doesn't want you to know she knows the number because she is actually having an affair with the friend's husband and she thinks that if she lets you know she knows his number you will figure out she is having an affair! The truth is obvious if you really look very hard and use your imagination.
Click to expand...

How can you speak of truth, when you have missed the OBVIOUS truth that what is really happening is that she is not merely having an affair with the friend's husband, but rather a threesome with both the friend AND the friends husband!?!
 
Guys, guys, hang on, hang on... I have "Days of Our Lives" producers on the line...

"Yeah, its a tragedy"

"Yeah, it involves scandalous lies"

"Yep, has a threesome"

Awesome! We are gonna make it big! Hollywood, here comes HBT!
 
mccumath said:
Guys, guys, hang on, hang on... I have "Days of Our Lives" producers on the line...

"Yeah, its a tragedy"

"Yeah, it involves scandalous lies"

"Yep, has a threesome"

Awesome! We are gonna make it big! Hollywood, here comes HBT!
Click to expand...

Don't give away too much before we have our money!
 
It never fails to surprise me how HBT'ers will take something and run with it so very, very far.
 
maxam said:
It never fails to surprise me how HBT'ers will take something and run with it so very, very far.
Click to expand...

And I am only 2 posts in to this 90 post thread (well, 3 now). These threads are so easy to come up with smart ass comments for...

And if having some good fun over these threads is wrong, I dont want to be right!
 
MalFet said:
That depends...how comfortable are you with a nude scene? (The story has a surprise twist ending.)
Click to expand...

Has something to do with fireworks, more in the literal sense...
 
AZ_IPA said:
Can I be the mailman in this straight to video classic?
Click to expand...

The mailman truly is a vital role in this gripping tale. OP will turn to you when he feels most alone, abandoned by his wife, betrayed by the woman that gives his wife a ride to work and her scheming husband who has the fireworks hookup, in his moment of greatest need. He will be vulnerable, hurt, angry, confused, and bewildered. If you are up to the role of providing him the consolation he requires, then I believe the role is yours to be had. Also, you will need to take him to Joe's Cabaret. I cannot stress how important this is. You must not, under any circumstances, take him to a strip club. ONLY A CABARET.
 
MalFet said:
That depends...how comfortable are you with a nude scene? (The story has a surprise twist ending.)
Click to expand...

I pondered going this route. Now that I see it so succinctly laid out before me, I feel I should have. Well played, my good man. Well played indeed.
 
The business model:

1) ask random question on brewing forum
2) argue semantics of question with examples dripping with hyperbole (and a letter carrier)
3) ???????????
4) profit

:D
 
JonM said:
OP asked for the phone number of an acquaintance who supplies illegal fireworks. Wife employs a diversion and doesn't provide that number. OP doesn't get illegal fireworks.
Click to expand...

That about sums it up.

Also, this is the best HBT troll post that I've seen in a while. I always feel a little empty when there are no trolls about.
 
Hugh_Jass said:
The business model:

1) ask random question on brewing forum
2) argue semantics of question with examples dripping with hyperbole (and a letter carrier)
3) ???????????
4) profit

:D
Click to expand...

Yeah, that pretty much sums up this whole thread in one handy post.
 
JonM said:
I started skimming only after the first page or two, and I'm not trying to be a jerk or anything, but do I have this right:

OP asked for the phone number of an acquaintance who supplies illegal fireworks. Wife employs a diversion and doesn't provide that number. OP doesn't get illegal fireworks.
Click to expand...

See, I honestly think that is all there is to it. She said she didn't have the number, to avoid a fight. If she said, "Well, I'm not giving you the number because I think fireworks, alcohol, and children is a stupid combination", that would start a fight. So she said she didn't have the number, which might be true. But she CAN get a hold of the person if she needs to.

Maybe she thinks the OP is the kind of person who gets mad easily and was trying to avoid that. Instead, taking a tiny, tiny, tiny bit of (possible) subterfuge and blowing it up into a SHE IS A LIAR! sort of proves that.
 
Yooper said:
See, I honestly think that is all there is to it. She said she didn't have the number, to avoid a fight. If she said, "Well, I'm not giving you the number because I think fireworks, alcohol, and children is a stupid combination", that would start a fight. So she said she didn't have the number, which might be true. But she CAN get a hold of the person if she needs to.

Maybe she thinks the OP is the kind of person who gets mad easily and was trying to avoid that. Instead, taking a tiny, tiny, tiny bit of (possible) subterfuge and blowing it up into a SHE IS A LIAR! sort of proves that.
Click to expand...

Quit makin' sense over there, Yooper! You're supposed to be in a tissy over the sexist remarks made in this thread, remember!?
 
It doesn't sound like a lie to me. Sounds like the poster is splitting hairs and can't move on from the past. That's my sober opinion. Let me get home from work and get some quality homebrew in my system and I'll probably be saying, "dump that lyin' *****!"

But what did you expect by airing your dirty laundry to a bunch of strangers on a beer related forum. LOL
 
MyNameIsPaul said:
Quit makin' sense over there, Yooper! You're supposed to be in a tissy over the sexist remarks made in this thread, remember!?
Click to expand...

Whoops! Sorry. Men suckz. Better?

mmb said:
I've been married for 12 years and dating the same women for 15.

Crazy Eyez is teh hotz!
Click to expand...

I don't know if the women you've dated for 15 years know about the wife of 12 years, but I'd love to hear the rest of THIS story! :cross:
 
The woman I've dated for 15 years makes an appearance every once in a while but 12 years ago this other personality moved in.

Clearer?
 
mmb said:
I've been married for 12 years and dating the same women for 15.

Crazy Eyez is teh hotz!
Click to expand...

Crazy_20Eyes.jpg
 
Yooper said:
I was giving you **** because you used the plural "women" and it sounded kind of fun!
Click to expand...

Um I believe the proper PC spelling is "womyn" :D
 
The Scene
The Woman: (lounges languidly on the sofa wearing a sheer negligee. The doorbell rings. Long pause. The doorbell rings again. With the agreed upon signal given, The Woman calls out, "Willkommen. Bienvenue. Welcome. C'mon in."

The door opens and The Mailman enters.

The Mailman: "I think your husband is on to us." (Ominous Music)

The Woman: "Oh don't worry about him. I told him I didn't know Mary's Number. He doesn't suspect a thing! (Reaches for remote control. The lights dim and soft music starts to play) Now come over here and give me that package!"
 
How do you plan on adding the CAPS and fireworks to the scene? Perhaps the mailman yells and bursts in flames?
 
If she makes good sammiches, she's not lying. If not, boot her.




I can't believe it took 119 post's for a sammich joke.


_
 
Homercidal said:
The Scene
The Woman: (lounges languidly on the sofa wearing a sheer negligee. The doorbell rings. Long pause. The doorbell rings again. With the agreed upon signal given, The Woman calls out, "Willkommen. Bienvenue. Welcome. C'mon in."

The door opens and The Mailman enters.

The Mailman: "I think your husband is on to us." (Ominous Music)

The Woman: "Oh don't worry about him. I told him I didn't know Mary's Number. He doesn't suspect a thing! (Reaches for remote control. The lights dim and soft music starts to play) Now come over here and give me that package!"
Click to expand...

The Mailman: (leans in for the kiss, then pauses) "But wait.... isn't she on... FACEBOOK?!?!"

The Woman: (Gasps) "You're right! What are we going to do?!?"

The Mailman: "We can fix this! We can! Keep it together! We'll... we'll....... we'll tell him she changed her number on facebook!"

The Woman: "Yes! You're a genius! Now... lets get back to that special delivery!"
 
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