In-Laws having an issue with my brewing
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That would never happen in my house. My MIL is pretty descent woman and watches the kids frequently. It would the be visiting angels or the nursing home. When people can't walk, talk, feed or toilet themselves, they need professional help. Caring for the elderly is something I can't do.
I have a career and a life, so its a commitment I can't make. The elderly when their mind goes, or they loose control of their environment, they say nasty things because they loose that filter, my kids won't be around that kind a thing. I realize not all are like that. It can be disturbing for a child.
My mother is in a nursing home and feared going there terribly. She was a control freak. My mother's mind is sound but used to say the most viscous things when she could speak. Like adopting me was the worse mistake she made in her life. Openly and vocally discussed suicide as a threat to get her back home. A few times in front of my father, ~40 people in the nursing home cafe and front of my son. She's tried punching at me and spitting on me too. I laughed at her when she tried to spit on me and only spit on herself. Some become like spoiled brats.
Think of Tony Soprano's mother late in the series....
Despite all of this I'm a good son and see her weekly.
bernardsmith
Well-Known Member
Hmmm... whatever your in-laws may believe about drinking and brewing, you say that their argument is that you spend too much money on brews and brewing. I neither know nor care how much you might spend on a hobby - or on a pleasure, but if what you spend means that what your wife and you can spend on things that you need is sharply reduced then you may need to tackle that issue. BUT if what you spend on your hobbies has no impact on necessities and other discretionary spending that you might make, then the argument your in-laws are making is nonsense. Of course, what you might consider is next time your in-laws bring up how much you spend on brewing you tell them that for every dollar you spend on your hobby you give X to a charity... if the money was the real issue that might be a tougher response for them to dismiss...
GHBWNY
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OP's FIL would have nothing against his homebrewing if it weren't for the fact that he thinks beer and anything to do with beer is wrong. His adversion to the topic of beer, including brewing or drinking it, I would guess has something to do with having seen in his profession what abuse of alcohol can do to an individual or a family. So, his way of trying to steer others from the temptation of alcohol abuse --- and especially the guy married to his darling daughter --- is to make snarky remarks rather than come right out and say, "It bothers me that you drink and brew beer." FIL and OP need a good sit-down, leave their guns outside the door and put all their cards on the table. They may not end up agreeing, but they may find common ground. Afterall, they likely will have to spend significant portions of their lives together over the coming years. I think a common understanding through a mature conversation is the place to start. Doesn't really matter what vocation either of them have, if they can simply agree by a common standard that beer is not bad, but abusing it is, there might be hope.
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Its none of his business how the OP spends his money, unless he's subsidizing his families living. It didn't sound like it to me.
Mind his own business...
FWIW - My father-in-law tried to tell me I need to get out of my Chicago apartment. He trying to tell me to get one of these rundown fixer upper houses a few blocks from his place. I'm like you don't know how to use a screw driver, you're not paying for it or living in the thing. The place was smaller than our apartment. I told him it was not a good idea, and anunacceptable living arrangement. I would only be living there 2 days a week. 535 sq ft!!! priced at $195K. No way.
That would never happen in my house. My MIL is pretty descent woman and watches the kids frequently. It would the be visiting angels or the nursing home. When people can't walk, talk, feed or toilet themselves, they need professional help. Caring for the elderly is something I can't do.
I have a career and a life, so its a commitment I can't make. The elderly when their mind goes, or they loose control of their environment, they say nasty things because they loose that filter, my kids won't be around that kind a thing. I realize not all are like that. It can be disturbing for a child.
My mother is in a nursing home and feared going there terribly. She was a control freak. My mother's mind is sound but used to say the most viscous things when she could speak. Like adopting me was the worse mistake she made in her life. Openly and vocally discussed suicide as a threat to get her back home. A few times in front of my father, ~40 people in the nursing home cafe and front of my son. She's tried punching at me and spitting on me too. I laughed at her when she tried to spit on me and only spit on herself. Some become like spoiled brats.
Think of Tony Soprano's mother late in the series....
Despite all of this I'm a good son and see her weekly.
Mine is totally a old needy teenager. She is so moody .She was on a no sugar no gluten no red meat diet. That her other daughter put her on. I tried to cook for her but that lasted about two weeks .I think she realizes that I'm not making her a special dinner .If her Dr said she couldn't eat that stuff then it would be different .
It's unfortunate OP has this issue. My parents died when I was 17 and 23; I was married at 23, and my wife's folks filled a void I'm thankful for to this day. I could tell from time to time that they may have made different decisions than did we, but they held their counsel, for the most part.
Given that we were successful in our professional lives and with our children, perhaps it was easy. Perhaps OP can point out the valuable things he's doing--is his wife well situated (sounds sexist, isn't meant to be), are OP and family well-respected, is he healthy (all that running suggests strongly he's in great shape).
My tendency is to be pretty direct with people, which doesn't always work well. Maybe OP should be exactly that--might say something like "Your daughter married me, and she's happy--I didn't marry you." I know that sounds rather forward, but sometimes what others need to see and hear is for us to put our foot down, and define boundaries. OP might say "Here are things I don't like about the way you live your life, but I don't denigrate you for it. I'd like the same consideration."
Yeah, pretty direct, but sometimes you have to simply define the boundaries.
Given that we were successful in our professional lives and with our children, perhaps it was easy. Perhaps OP can point out the valuable things he's doing--is his wife well situated (sounds sexist, isn't meant to be), are OP and family well-respected, is he healthy (all that running suggests strongly he's in great shape).
My tendency is to be pretty direct with people, which doesn't always work well. Maybe OP should be exactly that--might say something like "Your daughter married me, and she's happy--I didn't marry you." I know that sounds rather forward, but sometimes what others need to see and hear is for us to put our foot down, and define boundaries. OP might say "Here are things I don't like about the way you live your life, but I don't denigrate you for it. I'd like the same consideration."
Yeah, pretty direct, but sometimes you have to simply define the boundaries.
GotPushrods
Well-Known Member
Have you not mentioned there is book in the bible called Hebrews?
Hello?!?! HE BREWS ?!?!?!?
Enough said?
Hello?!?! HE BREWS ?!?!?!?
Enough said?
Redlantern
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Simple and direct. Ask them to express their complete opinion, tell them you appreciate their position, and then tell them that they are heard, but you are going to continue to do what you are doing.
They have a choice at that point - antagonize you or mind their own business.
Ask them if the both of you can get along, but let them know your position. Most people do not like a direct conversation like that, but if you are emotionally honest and respectful, how can they do anything other than leave it alone?
They have a choice at that point - antagonize you or mind their own business.
Ask them if the both of you can get along, but let them know your position. Most people do not like a direct conversation like that, but if you are emotionally honest and respectful, how can they do anything other than leave it alone?
GHBWNY
Well-Known Member
It IS all about boundaries and respect. And not foisting one's priorities, opinions and judgments upon someone else. Again, snide, off-handed comments are at best an immature approach to a situation. OP needs to consider he vowed to first and foremost honor, respect and protect his wife. If there is any part of his hobby/behavior that crosses the line of that commitment, then they need to talk. Whether or not she supports her husband's brewing hobby (hopefully she does), that is strictly between them. If she doesn't, then they have to work that out --- without FIL's intervention, even to the point of verbalizing his disapproval to the OP. I can understand a dad wanting to defend the honor of his daughter (I have 3 married daughters of my own), but once she makes the decision to leave daddy's jurisdiction, daddy needs to back it down.
madscientist451
Well-Known Member
As someone else said there is no scripture that says you shouldn't brew and enjoy beer,
just don't get intoxicated;
but there are plenty of bible verses pertaining to passing judgement on others. Here's a good one:
Romans 2:1-3
1 You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. 2 Now we know that Gods judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. 3 So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape Gods judgment?
The next time your brewing or drinking comes up in conversation, you should have a serious discussion about it. Ask them if they are really having a problem with you and if you gave up brewing would that make you perfect? Or would they simply go on to make other demands? Perhaps also ask them if you could examine everything they do and everything they spend money on, so you can pass judgement on them? I'm not suggesting you WOULD pass judgement on them, I hope you would 't, but you should have an open an honest discussion about their comments.
just don't get intoxicated;
but there are plenty of bible verses pertaining to passing judgement on others. Here's a good one:
Romans 2:1-3
1 You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. 2 Now we know that Gods judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. 3 So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape Gods judgment?
The next time your brewing or drinking comes up in conversation, you should have a serious discussion about it. Ask them if they are really having a problem with you and if you gave up brewing would that make you perfect? Or would they simply go on to make other demands? Perhaps also ask them if you could examine everything they do and everything they spend money on, so you can pass judgement on them? I'm not suggesting you WOULD pass judgement on them, I hope you would 't, but you should have an open an honest discussion about their comments.
te-wa
Well-Known Member
i don't know of any scripture against drinking alcohol (in moderation) - if there are some, or one, please let me know.
that being said, if they cannot provide such a scripture then they're making it up.
that being said, if they cannot provide such a scripture then they're making it up.
CGVT
Senior Member
The world could do with fewer judgmental Bible thumpers. It would be a much better place.
Martin Luther was a homebrewer. Definitely liked the beer. Look it up!
I like the sentiment in this song. I've been infatuated with the singer for many years - humma. But the song is relevant. Cheers HBT!
[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCbTICNAwxM[/ame]
Pretty sure it's supposed to be a no go in the Quran but many feel it's ok in moderation. Booze is illegal in a handful of Middle Eastern and African countries though.
Depends on the scriptures, the Mormons' forbid it as part of their 'Word of Wisdom', along with hot caffeinated drinks, and many of the other things that keep me alive and functional... well alive anyway.
Fellow Jesus Lover here. I'm 30 years old, been married for 5 years and my wife and I are members of an EFree Church. I offer this information of myself to help you decide whether or not to give my advice any weight. Please don't confuse it as a "Holier than thou" statement.
There's lots of advice on this thread. Lots of biblical reference and snarky tone suggesting you shove scripture in their faces as a way to justify your hobby. While I believe homebrewing is a worthwhile hobby, that God himself blesses, I urge you not to approach this subject in the generally encouraged manner.
At the end of the day, your wife is in the middle of this situation. Any stress you put on your relationship with your in-laws will be placed on your wife, which will trickle it's way down to your marriage and back to you. If you can't have an open conversation with your in-laws on the subject that doesn't end in an argument, I suggest you take their criticism, thank them for their concern and move on. Be the bigger man.
If you start to have a civil conversation and it starts getting heated, I suggest you explain that you love your in-laws and your wife and that is why you need to cool down before you say something you'll regret.
You don't have to cave to their suggestions or change to make them happy, but if you plan to preserve and protect your marriage, you should consider how your reactions to your in-laws will affect your wife.
There's lots of advice on this thread. Lots of biblical reference and snarky tone suggesting you shove scripture in their faces as a way to justify your hobby. While I believe homebrewing is a worthwhile hobby, that God himself blesses, I urge you not to approach this subject in the generally encouraged manner.
At the end of the day, your wife is in the middle of this situation. Any stress you put on your relationship with your in-laws will be placed on your wife, which will trickle it's way down to your marriage and back to you. If you can't have an open conversation with your in-laws on the subject that doesn't end in an argument, I suggest you take their criticism, thank them for their concern and move on. Be the bigger man.
If you start to have a civil conversation and it starts getting heated, I suggest you explain that you love your in-laws and your wife and that is why you need to cool down before you say something you'll regret.
You don't have to cave to their suggestions or change to make them happy, but if you plan to preserve and protect your marriage, you should consider how your reactions to your in-laws will affect your wife.
SGTSparty
Well-Known Member
This is probably your first course of action. Lots Hot Takes in this thread (not shocking considering its about in laws) Based on the original post I'm reading some things. 1) Your In Laws are pretty anti-booze and bigwigs in the church and their image w/in that community is important to them 2) Your wife seems to be on your side since she's ok with the brewing an associated costs 3) She's acknowledging the problem already since you're already excluding her parents from gatherings 4) You've taken there concern seriously to the point of looking at their perspective 5) You're tied to your in-laws and the church.
He's my advice: game plan this w/ SWMBO first but you need to have a Come To Jesus Talk (pun absolutely intended) with your in laws, ideally with your wife present. Tell them that their comments and hurtful and unwelcome and causing a rift between you and them which will ultimately become a rift between your wife and them (again, evidenced by the fact your excluding them already) and you don't want this to happen.
Tell them you and you wife have discussed it and the brewing isn't going anywhere. And that how you and your wife spend your disposable income is between you and them (feel free to use a man leaves his family etc. scripture from 50% of weddings if needed). Additionally, you can say that your brewing keeps you home and out of bars, creating a sense of community around your gatherings (do you say a prayer before any of these parties?, two or more are gathered etc etc).
Then, and I think this is key: Ask what the actual problem is for them with your brewing? It the money? None of there business as long as you and your wife are on the same page and you're still providing for her appropriately. Is it how it looks to the community? Why? Are they really getting blow back or just being up tight? Then, propose problem solving: If its a problem for them because of blow back (real or perceived) from the congregation then ask if they'd prefer you find a new church? Would that eliminate the grief for them allowing them to lighten up and become a bigger part of your families lives?
Start offering them choices, and like, actual choices, not threats (though you know, you have to actually be able to stick to them). Seems like the best solution for them if its really just them being up tight is for them to get over it. If they really are being effected by public perception then maybe getting some distance from them/their church roles/a church that's putting you in this position isn't the worst thing.
If all else fails ask your wife to step in. They're her family and odds are if she doesn't you're going to blow your top on them at some point and damage the whole relationship.
Roland_deschain
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Sometimes you just need to remind people like the in laws about perspective.........
This seems like a discussion to have with your wife. Let her know you feel you are being persecuted for your hobby and see how she feels about it (Not the initial brewing, but about the perceived slights toward you from her parents.) This is where the issue really is. I believe you when you say you don't have a drinking problem. If your wife is fine with your hobby and moderate drinking, then it's really just about her parent's snide comments.
Homebrewing can save money, but it depends on how you brew and how much you invest in the hobby. Generally it take a bit to get into kegging and temperature control, and some systems can start out being a bit spendy. But this should be between you and your wife. If that comes up in conversation, I'm make sure to let them know that they can butt out of that business.
But also keep in mind that being taught and raised to believe that alcohol can create problems, your wife's parents are programmed to try to get you to stop. I don't personally believe that ALL drinking is bad for you, but there are many cases where a person cannot control themselves, and so some denominations teach to refrain from ALL alcohol as a preventative measure. It doesn't mean that drinking itself is sinful. I am not sure they understand the difference or reasoning behind the missive to abstain.
While there is nothing in the bible that fobids alcohol, there are at least one or two verses that warn against drunkenness and/or being in a state where you lose control of your senses. In general moderate drinking is actually encouraged, reading that wine makes your heart glad, etc.
Alcohol was very common in most churches back into biblical era. Many were tolerant even right up into the prohibition period, where some of them chose to adopt an abstinence position. The voice against drinking became very loud during this period and some churches held onto the belief that any and all alcohol was sinful, never mind that many many people drank moderately and responsibly.
What it comes down to for me is that all should be tolerant, and respectful of each other. It sounds like your In Laws need to think about whether their comments are hurtful to you. It's entirely possible to discuss their concerns, rather than make snide comments. I believe that such a conversation would go a long ways toward ending the comments, and letting them see that you are a good husband, healthy in mind and body, and that moderate drinking is entirely possible.
You might offer that gluttony is considered a sin, directly, in the bible, yet nobody rails against eating! It's the amount that makes it a problem. Drink, be merry, and profess your belief through your gladness and actions. You might do more to show God's love than someone making snide comments will.
Homebrewing can save money, but it depends on how you brew and how much you invest in the hobby. Generally it take a bit to get into kegging and temperature control, and some systems can start out being a bit spendy. But this should be between you and your wife. If that comes up in conversation, I'm make sure to let them know that they can butt out of that business.
But also keep in mind that being taught and raised to believe that alcohol can create problems, your wife's parents are programmed to try to get you to stop. I don't personally believe that ALL drinking is bad for you, but there are many cases where a person cannot control themselves, and so some denominations teach to refrain from ALL alcohol as a preventative measure. It doesn't mean that drinking itself is sinful. I am not sure they understand the difference or reasoning behind the missive to abstain.
While there is nothing in the bible that fobids alcohol, there are at least one or two verses that warn against drunkenness and/or being in a state where you lose control of your senses. In general moderate drinking is actually encouraged, reading that wine makes your heart glad, etc.
Alcohol was very common in most churches back into biblical era. Many were tolerant even right up into the prohibition period, where some of them chose to adopt an abstinence position. The voice against drinking became very loud during this period and some churches held onto the belief that any and all alcohol was sinful, never mind that many many people drank moderately and responsibly.
What it comes down to for me is that all should be tolerant, and respectful of each other. It sounds like your In Laws need to think about whether their comments are hurtful to you. It's entirely possible to discuss their concerns, rather than make snide comments. I believe that such a conversation would go a long ways toward ending the comments, and letting them see that you are a good husband, healthy in mind and body, and that moderate drinking is entirely possible.
You might offer that gluttony is considered a sin, directly, in the bible, yet nobody rails against eating! It's the amount that makes it a problem. Drink, be merry, and profess your belief through your gladness and actions. You might do more to show God's love than someone making snide comments will.
ericbw
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It's always funny to me how judge-y the comments are about how judgemental others can be. The in-laws have a certain lifestyle based on their beliefs, and it wasn't a surprise or change to the OP. It doesn't sound like they are completely anti-alcohol, just concerned about the amount of time, money, and devotion that their daughter's husband spends on it (and he has confessed to being obsessive - 100+ mile races?? They should be having an intervention already!).
But the ideas that the in-laws need to "get over it" or to give them ultimatums, or "go to church elsewhere" are not helpful to the OP. Being passive aggressive to your in-laws never helped anyone's marriage, I am sure. Blaming religion probably isn't helpful either - if that's your take, then you probably aren't really going to be productive to the discussion. It's kind of un-thinking to write this off as simply "being uptight."
And what of the OP's belief that it's ok to drink, but not get drunk? Why not get drunk? That's oppressive to say you shouldn't get drunk as often as you want - if people don't like it, that's their problem. Being an alcoholic isn't so bad, as long as you're semi-functional. (This is sarcasm. The line can move from don't drink >> drink in moderation >> binge drink, but only on occasion >> binge drink, but only on the weekends, and a drink or two during the week >> be comfortably numb during the week, but only in the evenings >> be drunk most of the time... Everyone puts their values into it, and a forum of home brewers might not be the most rational group to ask.)
Your life is intertwined with these people more than just being in-laws. It's a hobby, man. Figure out if this is a fight worth wrecking relationships over.
Then, tell your wife that you don't like to hear it, and let her tell them. Don't condescend to her and act like it's "the man's responsibility." Treat her as an equal and let her know that their attitude bothers you.
Having said all that, I do think the in-laws have expressed their thoughts, and maybe should let it go now, unless it's a problem. Having an open discussion with them might be more helpful, especially sharing a beer, if the guy is allowed (sounds like he might be in a different position or retired now?).
But enough of the judgemental attitude about judgmental attitudes.
But the ideas that the in-laws need to "get over it" or to give them ultimatums, or "go to church elsewhere" are not helpful to the OP. Being passive aggressive to your in-laws never helped anyone's marriage, I am sure. Blaming religion probably isn't helpful either - if that's your take, then you probably aren't really going to be productive to the discussion. It's kind of un-thinking to write this off as simply "being uptight."
And what of the OP's belief that it's ok to drink, but not get drunk? Why not get drunk? That's oppressive to say you shouldn't get drunk as often as you want - if people don't like it, that's their problem. Being an alcoholic isn't so bad, as long as you're semi-functional. (This is sarcasm. The line can move from don't drink >> drink in moderation >> binge drink, but only on occasion >> binge drink, but only on the weekends, and a drink or two during the week >> be comfortably numb during the week, but only in the evenings >> be drunk most of the time... Everyone puts their values into it, and a forum of home brewers might not be the most rational group to ask.)
Your life is intertwined with these people more than just being in-laws. It's a hobby, man. Figure out if this is a fight worth wrecking relationships over.
Then, tell your wife that you don't like to hear it, and let her tell them. Don't condescend to her and act like it's "the man's responsibility." Treat her as an equal and let her know that their attitude bothers you.
Having said all that, I do think the in-laws have expressed their thoughts, and maybe should let it go now, unless it's a problem. Having an open discussion with them might be more helpful, especially sharing a beer, if the guy is allowed (sounds like he might be in a different position or retired now?).
But enough of the judgemental attitude about judgmental attitudes.
Peruvian802
Well-Known Member
Drinking is not the sin in the bible, drunkenness is.
Turkeyshot
Well-Known Member
This is why I try not to associate with people who do not drink. I don't need to justify or explain what I do to anyone. I brew and enjoy it. I do not drink 24/7, and just because someone brews does not make them an alcoholic.
It is your house and your life. So, if your wife is fine with your brewing and drinking, then who cares what your inlaws think. You didn't marry them.
It is your house and your life. So, if your wife is fine with your brewing and drinking, then who cares what your inlaws think. You didn't marry them.
ParanoidAndroid
Well-Known Member
Some things that have helped me when this topic comes up with others:
1. Show them the ingredients. Its literally just water, malted barley, hops and yeast. Keep some extra on hand to explain what goes into it. I don't know what goes on in peoples minds, but when they see the ingredients they say "That's it?", like there was some special ingredient like devils piss that went into brewing.
2. Explain the science and process. I'm an engineer, so I enjoy the chemistry and science behind brewing more than the process of brewing. I read something on brewing chemistry every day. Something as simple as explaining fermentation temps for brewing a hefe and how the different temps produce different tastes.
3. If you drink around them, show control. I rarely get drunk, and I hate when it happens (well, the next day I do), but lets be honest, it happens from time to time. Especially with it being football season.
4. Explain/brew a session homebrew. It confuses non-drinkers when you say I am enjoying a low-alcohol beer. Let them know that its not about the alcohol all the time. I think they expect you to brew or find the highest alcohol beer you can, and pound it till bedtime.
5. Bring up low to moderate amount drinking studies. Here's an article:
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/alcohol-guidelines-no-riskier-than-driving_uk_57bab613e4b0f78b2b4a87e3
6. What gets me is people will condemn you for brewing when you eat clean and exercise (such as you are doing now). They say something about it, while they have a coke in their hand with 50 grams of sugar and while they eat their fried chicken. People know I don't drink sweet tea or cokes. They know I try and eat healthy. I also try and feed our daughter as healthy as possible. They are amazed that she eats salmon and veggies at 15 months. Ill usually ask which one they think is healthier, my 1-2 beers I drink, or those 2-3 daily cokes and fried **** they have? Usually shuts em up quick. Another thing I mention if they pound sweets, is the fact the portion of their brain that lights up when they eat sugar, is the same portion that lights up when a cocaine addict takes a hit.
1. Show them the ingredients. Its literally just water, malted barley, hops and yeast. Keep some extra on hand to explain what goes into it. I don't know what goes on in peoples minds, but when they see the ingredients they say "That's it?", like there was some special ingredient like devils piss that went into brewing.
2. Explain the science and process. I'm an engineer, so I enjoy the chemistry and science behind brewing more than the process of brewing. I read something on brewing chemistry every day. Something as simple as explaining fermentation temps for brewing a hefe and how the different temps produce different tastes.
3. If you drink around them, show control. I rarely get drunk, and I hate when it happens (well, the next day I do), but lets be honest, it happens from time to time. Especially with it being football season.
4. Explain/brew a session homebrew. It confuses non-drinkers when you say I am enjoying a low-alcohol beer. Let them know that its not about the alcohol all the time. I think they expect you to brew or find the highest alcohol beer you can, and pound it till bedtime.
5. Bring up low to moderate amount drinking studies. Here's an article:
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/alcohol-guidelines-no-riskier-than-driving_uk_57bab613e4b0f78b2b4a87e3
6. What gets me is people will condemn you for brewing when you eat clean and exercise (such as you are doing now). They say something about it, while they have a coke in their hand with 50 grams of sugar and while they eat their fried chicken. People know I don't drink sweet tea or cokes. They know I try and eat healthy. I also try and feed our daughter as healthy as possible. They are amazed that she eats salmon and veggies at 15 months. Ill usually ask which one they think is healthier, my 1-2 beers I drink, or those 2-3 daily cokes and fried **** they have? Usually shuts em up quick. Another thing I mention if they pound sweets, is the fact the portion of their brain that lights up when they eat sugar, is the same portion that lights up when a cocaine addict takes a hit.
How about inviting them to a brew day?
ParanoidAndroid
Well-Known Member
Yup, good idea.
pointcity-homebrew
Crafting openers 1 at a time
ericbw
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Would this discussion be different if it were "my in-laws don't like that I grow dozens of varieties of weed in the back yard"?
I think the OP is trying to figure out how to live WITH these people, not how to cut them out.
I also don't think anyone cares that you're ordained in a *different* church. The teachings may not be the same.
Someone asked earlier what if the in-laws were Muslim or Hindu, you'd expect them to be respectful. But shouldn't we also be respectful of others? Maybe not talk about brewing with the in-laws?
I think the OP is trying to figure out how to live WITH these people, not how to cut them out.
I also don't think anyone cares that you're ordained in a *different* church. The teachings may not be the same.
Someone asked earlier what if the in-laws were Muslim or Hindu, you'd expect them to be respectful. But shouldn't we also be respectful of others? Maybe not talk about brewing with the in-laws?
ericbw
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By the way, the guy runs 100+ mile races. Is it possible that his idea of moderation is skewed? How much he spends on brewing?
He drinks every day. But he can stop any time he wants.
We seem to have so little to go on, but are quick to defend.
He drinks every day. But he can stop any time he wants.
We seem to have so little to go on, but are quick to defend.
From where? The University of Phoenix Seminary?
pointcity-homebrew
Crafting openers 1 at a time
It should not matter what his idea of moderation is, his life, his beliefs.
If he were asking the in-laws for money to pay bills, yet turns around and has a top of the line brewing system, then they could have a right to say something to the OP about that.
If his drinking was affecting his quality of life, in turn affecting their daughter's quality of life, then they could have a right to say something.
I try to life my life as a good human being, I do not go around scolding others for their choices, they will be the ones dealing with the choices that they have made.
I am by no means bashing religion. I just think that society spends too much time trying to live up to a certain image, yet shedding that "skin" behind closed doors.
If he were asking the in-laws for money to pay bills, yet turns around and has a top of the line brewing system, then they could have a right to say something to the OP about that.
If his drinking was affecting his quality of life, in turn affecting their daughter's quality of life, then they could have a right to say something.
I try to life my life as a good human being, I do not go around scolding others for their choices, they will be the ones dealing with the choices that they have made.
I am by no means bashing religion. I just think that society spends too much time trying to live up to a certain image, yet shedding that "skin" behind closed doors.
pointcity-homebrew
Crafting openers 1 at a time
that's a good one, University of Phoenix......
Every online minister knows that there is only one place to be ordained, and that is the Universal Life Church.
Morrey
Well-Known Member
You sound like me......I drink a beer or two so I can enjoy brewing as opposed to brewing a lot so I can drink more. Just like baking cakes...not all cake baker's are overindulgent or fat from eating cakes. This is your hobby and you should enjoy it w/o guilt or fear of persecution.
My mother-in-law is very opposed to any drinking my wife and I do...which btw is pretty limited. On the other hand, my father-in-law hides in his man cave and drinks whiskey from the bottle when he grills bbq chickens.
Hypocrisy sucks.
My mother-in-law is very opposed to any drinking my wife and I do...which btw is pretty limited. On the other hand, my father-in-law hides in his man cave and drinks whiskey from the bottle when he grills bbq chickens.
Hypocrisy sucks.
normonster
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Well, be glad they aren't fanatics of a different religion or you might be stoned to death. Hey, speaking of stoned, you might want to consider switching to medical cannibis...see how they like that hobby.
Also, perfect example of how all religions want to assimilate everyone and make everyone homogeneous. What a lame a$$ thing to dedicate any part of your waking life to, IMO.
Also, perfect example of how all religions want to assimilate everyone and make everyone homogeneous. What a lame a$$ thing to dedicate any part of your waking life to, IMO.
ericbw
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We don't actually know that he's not asking them for money or drinking out of control... we only know that he has a pretty nice brewing set up in less than 2 years (since he got married), runs obsessively, and has lots of other hobbies (from the first thread). Oh, and he drinks daily, but it's not a problem, because he doesn't like to get "drunk."
You weren't the one bashing religion, but check the thread, it's not like it hasn't come up. The overwhelming response is that he should cut them off, leave his church, be snarky to them, be passive aggressive, or out-and-out hostile. No one asked, "Well, how much have you spent on brewing in 2 years? Is it affordable?"
No one asked if his wife was really on board with it, or just kept submissive.
The quick reaction was on the side of homebrew. Which is nice, but it's a hobby. It's not a marriage or a family bond.
Terek
"Did I just drop down a rabbit hole?"
give them some scientific reasons why its not bad, and they are wrong. I will post some examples. This my not work though, as religion and science dont really get along
http://www.menshealth.com/health/have-a-beer
http://www.care2.com/causes/6-health-benefits-of-drinking-beer.html
http://www.menshealth.com/health/have-a-beer
http://www.care2.com/causes/6-health-benefits-of-drinking-beer.html
ericbw
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This is the problem with this thread. They've gone from being a bit too involved in their son in law's life to being "wrong" for not drinking. Science and religion get along fine. Dogmatic people don't get along (science dogma or any other kind of dogma).
