In Bathroom Stalls...

[evanmars]

There once was a lad named "Perkins"
Who was always jerkin' his gherkin
Said his mother to Perkins
Stop jerkin' your gherkin
Your gherkin's for ferkin', not jerkin'

 

[Hopleaf]

I had dyslexia as a child, I used to write about it in my dairy.

 

[Indybrew]

Jimmy Hoffa please call home.


Saw that years ago, about pissed all over myself. Still my favorite.

 

[Cheesefood]

Larry Craig called this place a "Toe-Tapping Good Time".

My fave - from Dumb and Dumber:

"For real man-love, be here Tuesday at 8:30."

 

[sudsmonkey]

I've heard of *****whipped, but never momma whipped...WUSS!!!

I don't get it, Bill.

 

[Evets]

Can't go poop? Do not pout.
Just relax and rub one out.

 

[funkapottomous]

I just saw this one while taking a break from class, and had never seen the last two lines before.


Here I sit brokenhearted,
Tried to **** but only farted.
Later on I took a chance,
tried to fart and **** my pants.

 

[SouthernCross]

From the ladies' room:

If you sprinkle when you tinkle,
Be a sweetie, wipe the seatie..

 

[passedpawn]

I just saw this one while taking a break from class, and had never seen the last two lines before.


Here I sit brokenhearted,
Tried to **** but only farted.
Later on I took a chance,
tried to fart and **** my pants.

So wrong. Corrected for modern times I suppose. Last two lines should be:

Next time I won't take a chance,
save my dime and $hit my pants.
​

Anyone ever seen a pay stall? Sort of cruel I think. Amsterdam has them on the streets, they clean themselves with a shower after you pay and exit.

 

[passedpawn]

In california, during droughts:

If it's yellow let it mellow,
if it's brown flush it down.​

 

[Dan]

Here I sit
all broken hearted
came to $hit
but only farted

Then one day I took a chance
Tried to fart and $hit my pants.

classic

 

[dover157]

I emptied my bladder,
Which made it gladder,
I peed for an hour or more.
Then I sat and I shat,
Till my colon was flat,
Now my sphincter's all itchy and sore.

 

[Bold]

This toilet paper is like John Wayne. Tough as nails and dont take **** off nobody.

http://www.thatsmyscript.com/radio.php?r=89ce0f1908

 

[jmendez29]

Anyone ever seen a pay stall? Sort of cruel I think. Amsterdam has them on the streets, they clean themselves with a shower after you pay and exit.

What do they use as the water source for the shower?

 

[yummybeer]

a boss is like a dirty diaper, they're always on your a$$ and they're always full of ****.

 

[lustreking]

At the college I work at:

Its easy to annoy English major's.

 

[Toecutter]

In california, during droughts:

If it's yellow let it mellow,
if it's brown flush it down.​

During the last california governer election. "If its Brown, Flush it"

 

[Toecutter]

Above the coat hook on the inside of the stall door : If you were unfortunate to have had an accident, and sh-- you shorts, please be kind to others, and DO NOT leave them hanging from this coat hook

The management

 

[ceannt]

This kind of dates me but......
"Don't change Dick's in the middle of a screw.... vote for Nixon in '72"

 

[arturo7]

I just saw this one while taking a break from class, and had never seen the last two lines before.


Here I sit brokenhearted,
Tried to **** but only farted.
Later on I took a chance,
tried to fart and **** my pants.

Holy Necropost, Batman!

 

[Jilaman]

Huge letters "JESUS SAVES!"


Written below "He passes to Gretzky, Gretzky SCORES!!!"

 

[COLObrewer]

It's really sort of a ballad.

There once was a girl named Sally Brown,
she swore no man could lay her down.
Over the hill came Pi$$ball Pete,
with 40lbs of danglin meat.
He laid her down in the tall green grass,
and shoved his cock straight up her a$$.
But Sally Brown cut a great big fart,
and blew his balls 10 feet apart.
Over the hill went Pi$$ball Pete,
with 40lbs of shredded meat.

Midnight musings at 03:45

 

[unionrdr]

Lmao CB. Now that's funny. I've seen so many of these all over Ford's stalls for years. But this last one almost made me spit out lunch laughing. "behold the awesome power of my buttocks"!!