Subsailor
Life is Tough, Stupid makes it Tougher
I actually meant the opposite. For whatever reason I have remembered every mistep, trespass, humiliation, wound and barb since I have been aware of the world. I still remember my parents looking to whomever might be in the room and saying "aww he's tired!" whenever I fussed about something real or imagined. Sometimes I will call my father out of the blue just to remind him that this is one of the reasons Ill be putting him in the home when he gets old. Take that pop.
Seriously though, I retain a lot of anger, hate and vitriole.... its not good for me.
I was like that from my late teens to my mid 20s. I retained all of my anger and remembered all slights against, real or perceived. I was quite the A$$HOLE! Capitalized on purpose because I was bad. I was in the Navy and I had just gotten busted for like the 10th time for stupid activity on my part when my Senior Chief pulled me aside and had a quiet discussion with me.
He told me how all that anger was just driving me to the dirt and if I reflected on it properly, i would see the only one I was truly hurting was myself. He simple showed me my Service Record and how I had started out so well but was steadily declining. He also told me how my actions were hurting his daughter (I was dating her at the time) and ruining that relationship. I spent about a week; staying sober, concentrating on doing better and treating others better. I went back and talked with him again and told him how hard it was going to be letting go of the anger and the grudges but that I thought I understood what he said.
It took me the better part of a year to get rid of the worst of it and it has taken the the better part of my adult life to learn the patience to deal with and respect others.
The biggest, most cliche`d lesson I learned first was to:
Respect and forgive myself! Let go of those things which dragged me down and live each day as if it might be my last.
I hold to that every morning when I wake up;
First, I'm thankful I woke up.
Second, I roll over and kiss my wife and tell her how much I love her and that I look forward to seeing her when I get home from work.
Third, I consciously plan to meet each person with a smile and a pleasant greeting.
I don't always succeed with the results of #3 there but for the vast majority of people I run into and interact with, it sure makes my day go smoother.
Creamy, I'm not saying this will work for you but this is what has worked for me since talking with my Senior Chief in 1983.
I respect you mate!
IAlso, who else is going to work on an Offal Mead for us!