RPh_Guy
Bringing Sour Back
I like beer.
The convenience store was selling bottles of craft beer for 5¢ a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally more expensive. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like beer.
I took my 200 bottles home. I have a big car. I put some in the front seat. It was glitter beer. Bottled in clear bottles. In fact, none of them were labeled. They fell out and were rolling around in the car. I laughed. Then they hit my genitals. I stopped laughing.
I carried them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. The glitter kept settling so I had to turn over the bottles every 15 minutes to keep it sparkly. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.
Two hours later I found out why all beer was so inexpensive: they all starter exploding. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' starting going boom. Kinda' like when you light a firecracker and toss it in the toilet. Damn cheap beer.
I didn't know what to do. There were 200 bottles of beer exploding all over my room, on the bed, on the dresser, dripping from my bookcase. It looked like I had thrown beer bottles against all the walls and ceiling.
I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one poopy, wet bottle and 199 non-poopy bottles.
I tried pretending that they were just decorations. That worked for a while, that is until they began to mold. It started to smell real bad.
I had to pee but there was a beer bottle stuck in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.
I tried to slow down the explosions by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two cases at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.
I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire.
Then I had one broken, poopy bottle in my toilet, two cases of frozen beer in my freezer, and 151 exploded, charred bottles in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving.
I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my beer and to use the bathroom. I severely smashed one of the bottles. I felt better.
I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred broken glass. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.
I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I hit them in the genitals.
I like beer
The convenience store was selling bottles of craft beer for 5¢ a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally more expensive. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like beer.
I took my 200 bottles home. I have a big car. I put some in the front seat. It was glitter beer. Bottled in clear bottles. In fact, none of them were labeled. They fell out and were rolling around in the car. I laughed. Then they hit my genitals. I stopped laughing.
I carried them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. The glitter kept settling so I had to turn over the bottles every 15 minutes to keep it sparkly. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.
Two hours later I found out why all beer was so inexpensive: they all starter exploding. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' starting going boom. Kinda' like when you light a firecracker and toss it in the toilet. Damn cheap beer.
I didn't know what to do. There were 200 bottles of beer exploding all over my room, on the bed, on the dresser, dripping from my bookcase. It looked like I had thrown beer bottles against all the walls and ceiling.
I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one poopy, wet bottle and 199 non-poopy bottles.
I tried pretending that they were just decorations. That worked for a while, that is until they began to mold. It started to smell real bad.
I had to pee but there was a beer bottle stuck in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.
I tried to slow down the explosions by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two cases at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.
I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire.
Then I had one broken, poopy bottle in my toilet, two cases of frozen beer in my freezer, and 151 exploded, charred bottles in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving.
I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my beer and to use the bathroom. I severely smashed one of the bottles. I felt better.
I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred broken glass. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.
I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I hit them in the genitals.
I like beer
