I am an idiot

[Jaehnig]

I believe the powder is for aroma , you want the oil for softness.

But won't the 10w-30 motor oil add a sheen to the beer?

 

[ThatGeekGuy]

I heat the properties of baby powder added to your beer make the bottles as soft as a baby's bald spot. Any takers?

Since a baby is pretty much one big bald spot, you need to be more specific. Are you meaning the front forward lagering addition, or the rear facing dark malts? Or perhaps adding the entire baby to the boil which adds a certain bitterness that takes decades to mature and mellow....

 

[cheezydemon3]

This from the guy who brews with mythical creatures...

The topic came about as a way to solve potential problems with said useless animal brew in the past from the future. Yet another tool in the brewing box.

And im using flax not flux... sheesh... noob.

You don't like my Lambo replica?

Actually, we were Eating mythical creatures.... besides would you care to compare the cost of the Unicorn to a turtle?

This could mean huge savings if I don't have to track down a god damned manticore.

 

[Stauffbier]

Wow!

 

[Jaehnig]

Since a baby is pretty much one big bald spot, you need to be more specific. Are you meaning the front forward lagering addition, or the rear facing dark malts? Or perhaps adding the entire baby to the boil which adds a certain bitterness that takes decades to mature and mellow....

I was thinking more of the baby's legs from the knees down. I prefer to add the upper portions later on in the boil and the fingers belong in the bottles. Gotta make sure my LHBS keeps a fresh and full stock or I won't do business.

P.S. the delicate hair on a baby makes a great addition to lagers. Adds an almost sack cloth smoothness to your wife's back hair.

 

[static]

Irish red
Dunkelweizen
Imperial stout
Old ale
Traditional bock

Huh? What does that have to do with any of this nonsense?!?!?!?

Oh....

 

[Tex]

But won't the 10w-30 motor oil add a sheen to the beer?

Not soluble.

 

[Leadgolem]

Not soluble.

Unless you include an emulsifier, like a cockatrice egg. Make sure to use used motor oil for best flavor.

Be careful not to include more then about 3.14159265359% or your hamster may evolve into a BCFMO.

 

[grem135]

Small problem, this thread has put a big strain on the LHBS and pet stores in my area. I am having no luck at all finding hamsters and turtles. Gerbils are very hard to find and don't even waste your time looking for crocks and sea turtles in the Midwest. Even the local bird sanctuary has armed guards watching the owls! Can anyone help a fellow brewer, my pipeline is in danger of drying up.

 

[leftcontact]

I get my crocs at the shoe store.

 

[brewingmeister]

One fish two fish red fish blue fish. Heat the aquarium to strike temp and mash in. The aquarium rocks make a stellar grain filter.

 

[Dan]

Small problem, this thread has put a big strain on the LHBS and pet stores in my area. I am having no luck at all finding hamsters and turtles. Gerbils are very hard to find and don't even waste your time looking for crocks and sea turtles in the Midwest. Even the local bird sanctuary has armed guards watching the owls! Can anyone help a fellow brewer, my pipeline is in danger of drying up.

I hear you brother. In my area the pet shop was so overburdened they took a two week hiatus. The sign on the door said they were on a roadtrip in pursuit of more turtles and hampsters.

They did have a box of gerbils at the front door with an honesty deposit box next to them. It was a nice thought but all the gerbils had AIDs.

So, not really much of a deal. I still picked up two, and laid out 50 cents a piece for them. Not sure the immune dificiency will be much of a problem because I'm dry hopping my brew with buffalo nuts. Which as we all know is a natural microbiotic and part of the Hells Angels. It will in spirit kill.


I'm quite sure the beer will turn out just fine. I figure my m-i-l will be the first sampler. I love her that much.

 

[Dan]

27

 

[Leadgolem]

27

How did you know how old I was?

 

[Dan]

How did you know how old I was?

It's oblivious!

Come at me man!

 

[Leadgolem]

I hear you brother. In my area the pet shop was so overburdened they took a two week hiatus. The sign on the door said they were on a roadtrip in pursuit of more turtles and hampsters.

They did have a box of gerbils at the front door with an honesty deposit box next to them. It was a nice thought but all the gerbils had AIDs.

So, not really much of a deal. I still picked up two, and laid out 50 cents a piece for them. Not sure the immune dificiency will be much of a problem because I'm dry hopping my brew with buffalo nuts. Which as we all know is a natural microbiotic and part of the Hells Angels. It will in spirit kill.


I'm quite sure the beer will turn out just fine. I figure my m-i-l will be the first sampler. I love her that much.

Have you considered substituting squirrels for a nuttier brew, or perhaps rats for a earthier one?

 

[Dan]

Consulting with my daughter..

That should have been. "come at me bro" ..oops

 

[Dan]

Have you considered substituting squirrels for a nuttier brew, or perhaps rats for a earthier one?

Squirrels! Who would have figured. Makes sense. They would certainly bring on a nutty quality that no other grain would.. Thanks Bro!

This is why I love this site.. all the great knowledge here. Man I'm glad to be from outer space!

 

[Dan]

21


and it's time for more fun......................

 

[static]

Don't taze me bro...

 

[Schecter]

Can't wait for PETA to pick up this thread...

 

[menerdari]

Squirrels! Who would have figured. Makes sense. They would certainly bring on a nutty quality that no other grain would.. Thanks Bro!

This is why I love this site.. all the great knowledge here. Man I'm glad to be from outer space!

you have to be careful though, squirrels can get mean when you start messing with their nuts.

 

[Jaehnig]

you have to be careful though, squirrels can get mean when you start messing with their nuts.

2 tablespoons of fire roasted squirrel nuts add a coriander like smell to the wort. Best used when you boil your hamsters for the entire duration of the Browns football game. If the Browns happen to win... The aromas will dissipate. Therefore the equation looks a little like this:

2 tbsp fire Roasted squirrel nuts +'ed to your boil for the duration of a browns game = coriander aroma in the wort provided the browns lose.

 

[cfonnes]

I hate to hijack a thread and go off topic.

Did I ruin my beer?

 

[Obliviousbrew]

I hate to hijack a thread and go off topic.

Did I ruin my beer?

Yes

 

[Homercidal]

I think I'm starting to get a cold. Should I be worried that I'm REALLY looking forward to my medication kicking in? I don't want to be addicted to benadryl and end up on skid row.

 

[WesleyS]

I think I'm starting to get a cold. Should I be worried that I'm REALLY looking forward to my medication kicking in? I don't want to be addicted to benadryl and end up on skid row.

I have a great recipe for a benadryl wheat. The artificial cherry flavor plays nicely in it.

 

[jsv1204]

I have a great recipe for a benadryl wheat. The artificial cherry flavor plays nicely in it.

Haha... Put a cherry wheat from Sam Adams in my wife's hands a few weeks ago. "Cough syrup!" was the verdict!

 

[Homercidal]

Now is the perfect time to drink some SA Cherry Wheat. When I can't taste anything!

And to think I used to like that stuff.

Got a bomber of barleywine in the fridge. I really kind of just want to go home and drink that all day and watch TV. Maybe a LOTR marathon? Oh, or play Guild Wars 2 all day!

Got a car to finish fixing though. Today sucks. Maybe I'll work 4 hours and then go home to fix the car and THEN drink all day!

 

[WesleyS]

Haha... Put a cherry wheat from Sam Adams in my wife's hands a few weeks ago. "Cough syrup!" was the verdict!

I haven't had one in a long time. I liked it before when I was first getting into craft beer. I want to try one now to see if I still like it.

 

[WesleyS]

Now is the perfect time to drink some SA Cherry Wheat. When I can't taste anything!

And to think I used to like that stuff.

Got a bomber of barleywine in the fridge. I really kind of just want to go home and drink that all day and watch TV. Maybe a LOTR marathon? Oh, or play Guild Wars 2 all day!

Got a car to finish fixing though. Today sucks. Maybe I'll work 4 hours and then go home to fix the car and THEN drink all day!

I think the key phrase here is "drink all day".

 

[The_Dog_42]

Funny I was thinking the odd phrase was "work"...

And 601.

 

[AMonkey]

Make sure to use used motor oil for best flavor.

It is possible to use new motor oil if that is all you have. Just add 2 cups of turkey giblets and the toenail of a 2 year old sow. Gives you pretty close to the same flavor. Aroma is a little off but not much.

 

[static]

Can't wait for PETA to pick up this thread...

No worries. I'm sure that we can find a use for them in the brew process.

 

[Rondacker]

I have some beef tongue that the dog won't eat; can I dry hop with it?

Oh, where's the Idiot IPA Recipe?

 

[Jaehnig]

Almost there... One... More... Thrust.

 

[static]

Oh great. Way to go. Now we're gonna have an in depth discussion on thrusting.

 

[AMonkey]

I get leg cramps, so my thrusting is inconsistent. What should I do? Irish moss?

 

[Rondacker]

I get leg cramps, so my thrusting is inconsistent. What should I do? Irish moss?

You need consistent temperature control also.

 

[menerdari]

I smell a new idiot beer