Hello and I need help!

[slunkmonky]

Greeting from sunny Austin Texas. I'm a novice brewer and I just brewed myself into a corner!

You never hear someone say "I want to get a brew kit together so I can make my own Milwaukee's Best"... Until now. Read along.

I just started brewing again and after a few 'practice batches' I paid a little bit more for my ingredients and really put effort into making a Fat Tire clone. It's not spot on but it was my first try. I know some say "why clone? make your own" but I can't pretend I know what makes a good beer until I've imitated a little. But now the Fat Tire clone got me into a bind!

I was invited to a potluck with a potluck group which meets monthly. All of these guys are great cooks, some of them cook professionally. I just happened to have my Fat Tire clone ready to drink, was invited to the potluck, and the theme was German. What luck? My Belgian ale went very well with the dishes everybody made. I received a lot of compliments. At the end of the night one of the guys who lived there even gave me his capper and a bag of caps from when he used to brew and said "it's your's, just make more beer and bring it to the next one."

At the end of the meal they pulled the paper out of the hat to pick the next potluck theme. It was Swedish. We all looked around at one another and decided following up German with Swedish was a little redundant so Swedish went back in and the next paper was pulled.

White Trash.

We all had a good laugh and people starting blurting out dishes they wanted to make for a White Trash cuisine potluck, inevitably offending other people who had eaten said dish all their life and never considered it trashy (none of us got out of it alive, we all had a food we held dear which was inevitably called trashy by someone else).

Well, I have a month to work with here which means I need to start brewing yesterday. Anybody have and idea for a "White Trash" style homebrew?

And before I get flamed, my family once lived in a trailer, I currently have a Pontiac with deer damage on the hood, I get a check every month for my combat injuries, I'm just a good ole' Merican here, so don't just draw me into a debate about cultural sensitivity.

Added info: These people meet monthly and have done so for years. I waltzed into my first potluck and just happened to have a homebrew for the theme, and my contribution was considered by a handful to be the 'best in show' so I probably have a magnifying glass on me for the next one. I set the bar pretty high.

So I think what I'm looking for is, whats a good cheap All-American southern beer that people might say lacks refinement? Lonestar comes to mind. PBR wont' work for local political reasons. And then, what's a recipe for that beer?

 

[Homercidal]

To be honest, you won't be able to quite hit an American Light Lager without lagering. That requires a temp controlled environment that can maintain like 50 degrees for 4 weeks, and then 33ish for several more weeks. Some people use a fridge or freezer with a temp controller. Some people have managed to modify the one in the fridge/freezer to keep those temps.

Otherwise you are stuck working with Ales. You can get a yeast that is designed to ferment lower than standard ale temps and pitch it into a recipe geared towards being light bodied and light flavored. Something like Cream Ale, or Blonde Ale might work. They aren't terribly distant from a standard American Light Lager.

Why does it have to be Southern? I find there are many beers that fit the white trash moniker that are made in other locales. Bud Light comes to mind... Keystone, Busch, Natural Light, and you've already mentioned Milwaukees Best. That's just the cheapest junk. Nearly any Big Name American beer will work for this IMO.

And, here is the best part: You probably won't be able to get the beer to end up just as a perfect clone anyway, so just make a good tasting light beer and call it "Buttwiper White Trash", or "Austin's Worst", or something. Trust me, everyone will have their fun, and no beer will be harmed in the process!

 

[slunkmonky]

Yes, due to time constraints and equipment shortcomings lager is out of the picture which is a lot to lose right out the gate and one of the reason I wanted to reach out for help, since I'm sure there are other options I just don't know about.

I'm thinking of using the coopers Lager kit since I'm pretty sure you still do that at an ale temperature like all the other coopers. Then after it's carbonated I'll just store them in the fridge until the day of the potluck. I've read that some people found that kit to end up tasting like Bud.

I want to make my beer very clear. My Ale last night was very clowdy. I have irish moss and someone at the party was telling me to do Gelatin to keep the sediment down and then when I bottle, draw from the top until it gets down the gelatin layer. Any other tips on that? One thing I think of when I think American mass produced is that they are transparent.

And I agree about 'why does it have to be southern?' I'm from PA, and Keith Stone of Keystone fame is definetly a fine specimen of white trash.

 

[Vernacular]

Check out "Cream of Three Crops Ale". You use a lager yeast but ferment at ale tempsif you are pressedfor time you should get out with it just as the bell rings. I've made ity several times andI love it. Some guys even use cut corn instead of flaked... stay away from that and minit rice or you'll miss the show waiting for you beer to clear up.

 

[Stauffbier]

A month doesn't give you much time. You'll need a quick finishing beer! I agree with a cream or blonde. Pitch a large, healthy starter. Ferment for 7-9 days. Bottle it up and keep the bottles conditioning at 70-75F and you should make it on time...

 

[CBXBob]

I vote for Mr. Beer Pale Ale kit, it tasted like Hams to me, but then I am white trash and liked it!

 

[slunkmonky]

I think I'm going to go a simple pale ale and call it a day. The goals isn't for it to actually taste bad. All entries should taste good, just be artfully something trailer parky I suppose. Also, I've never had a homebrew taste bad,, kind of the fun of it. I've had them turn are really low in the ABV before and kind of felt like I was drinking in Utah or soemthing, but it didnt' taste bad. But anyway, A plain old beer is an all american beer and an ale will be done in time. Then, as above stated, I'll just give it a fun name that insinuates trashiness.

Although....

I have a side project going though to really 'Trash it up.'

I took two empty 50oz Topo chico Bottles (a popular mexican sparklin mineral water) filled then about 85% full and put one in the fridge and dumped the other in a stock pot. Then I combined the stock pot water with about 5 cups of corn sugar and heated until mixed whisking vigourously to aerate the,, uh, crap.

I poured the cold water into the stock pot and did a sink-bath of the pot to get it down to 80 degrees. At that point it was 1.082 OG by my hydrometer.

I pitched distillers yeast and bottled the 'mash' (the trash mash?) back in the bottles. I topped them with s-tube bubblers.

This morning I saw one or two bubbles so it seems to be taking it's time, I thought distillers yeast left burnout marks but I wont exactly cry if I have to pour it all out and start over. I'm about 87 cents of ingredients and 5 dollars of equipment into this one and the equipment can be used again.

The rest of the plans are, once fermentation is complete I'm going to rack it into a secondary (an empty one gallon spring water plastic jug) and possibly use gelatin to keep the sediment down, then wash the bottles and immediatley rack back out of the secondary trying once more to leave sediment behind,,, back into the main bottles, because then the hooch schism begins.

Bottle one: top up with Fruit Punch Gatorade powder. I don't know if it will ferment what with all the electrolytes, but I'll cap with bubbler just in case and if nothing happens, then I'll just cap it closed and let it age into a fine Pinot Gatorigio.

Bottle two: Top up with country lemonade powder and same as above. Once fermentation is over, cap it and let if age into a fine Don Don's Hard Prisonade.

I'm hoping for a 10% abv or above. I know distillers yeast can sometimes go up to 26% but I've never used the stuff before so I just entered my OG and my hopeful FG (about 1.006,, although I think with so little ingredients I can possible get it dialed in to close to 1.000) and the calculator told me around 10 abv or so.

Oh, and I added a dash of fermax into the mash since I didnt see much in the way of nutrition with water and corn sugar.

I'll update on its progress although I'm not insinuating that any of you are adding this to your calendars haha. Its' more of a costume prop than a real drink. Although, to say I wont drink any of it would probably be a lie,, gotta be ready for Prohibition II.

 

[2brewishuman]

I poured the cold water into the stock pot and did a sink-bath of the pot to get it down to 80 degrees. At that point it was 1.082 OG
Bottle one: top up with Fruit Punch Gatorade powder. I don't know if it will ferment what with all the electrolytes, but I'll cap with bubbler just in case and if nothing happens, then I'll just cap it closed and let it age into a fine Pinot Gatorigio.



I'll update on its progress although I'm not insinuating that any of you are adding this to your calendars haha. Its' more of a costume prop than a real drink. Although, to say I wont drink any of it would probably be a lie,, gotta be ready for Prohibition II.

LoL!!!

Pinot Gatorigio! Love it! Definitely keep me in the loop! I'd like to hear how it turns out!