Confession Time

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Sometimes when I read forum posts of otherwise intelligent homebrewers being dicks to other homebrewers, espousing their entrenched beliefs in rude and obnoxious ways, I read them in this guy's voice and it all makes sense:

250px-Comic_Book_Guy_The_X_Men_Star_Trek.png
 
Black Island Brewer said:
Sometimes when I read forum posts of otherwise intelligent homebrewers being dicks to other homebrewers, espousing their entrenched beliefs in rude and obnoxious ways, I read them in this guy's voice and it all makes sense:
Click to expand...

Best. Post. Ever! I'm definitely going to start doing this it all makes sense now!
 
I haven't drank a beer in 27 days, doin a 60 day no drinking thing. I'm way over it. But I gotta keep goin... I feel like I'm dragging through the desert on my elbows reaching for a mirage.
 
@landonrone
Is it the first time you are doing the no drinking thing?
I will be up for my 90 day no drinking thing soon,for Beddhist lent.
First time is SO painful,makes you cry to look at beer.
But after the second time,it is way less stress
 
I like beer. sometimes, I worry, too much. So I take week long breaks just to make sure that I'm not going too deep into it. Cuz almost every day I drink a stein or two (one liter each). I enjoy drinking the homemade nectar that I have created. I stopped smoking ( due to inability to pay) 2 years ago. I now like not being dependant on a substance . So usually once a month I have a chill week where I don't drink. And interspersed in that month I take days of too to let the liver rest. Cuz I don't want a fois gras liver either.
 
badlee said:
@landonrone
Is it the first time you are doing the no drinking thing?
I will be up for my 90 day no drinking thing soon,for Beddhist lent.
First time is SO painful,makes you cry to look at beer.
But after the second time,it is way less stress
Click to expand...


Yes this is the first time.
I'm on day 28 of what I plan to be 60.
I realized that aside from when I didn't have the option (navy stuff like being out at sea or under ball and chain for training) I haven't stayed sober for more than probably a month at a time of my own accord since... A long time ago lol.
And I was drinking till drunk for about 5 months straight till I decided it was break time, so I'm just challenging myself to it.
But it's Easter and I reeeeealllly wanna go get an IPA and take a picture of that sum b!tch, hashtag "hoppy easter" straight flexin my beer puns on Instagram...
 
If I have to fart after the boil I do it in the bathroom incase there are **** particles floating around that want to infect my batch. Maybe it's a big excessive? Haven't had an infected batch yet.
 
LAHammer said:
Can't drink all day if you don't start early...:mug:
Click to expand...

I was at my first AHA conference last June and they brought around a pitcher of beer at 9:00 on Saturday morning and I said no thanks its too early and the guy next to me said that. First time I had heard, About died laughing.
 
I have to confess the worst mistake I ever made will having a brew evening.

I was making a cider and a beer at the same time. Combination of drinking and being pissed off about something and what did I do? I pitched the wine yeast into the beer and the beer yeast into the cider.

Both of them are fermenting happily and the beer is almost done. I had a taste of the beer today when taking a gravity reading and surprisingly enough, it tasted exactly how I expected so I don't think my mistake even mattered.
 
Racked my ZD clone into a keg that kicked yesterday, didn't bother to clean it out.
 
Had some co-workers over to brew a couple years ago, doing three in a row. (!!!) The last batch was a hefeweizen extract kit one of them brought. He would put the pellet hops in one of those cheap muslin bags, tie off the end, and just toss it in the kettle.

After chilling, I started to drain the wort into his bucket. All of a sudden the flow stopped. That damn hops bag was stuck on the valve inlet. I didn't even see it before that point, and the homebrews I had consumed had somehow affected my judgment. I tried to pry it loose with a big spoon, but it was wedged tight. Without thinking, I plunged my hand in there and pulled it out. Suddenly realizing that I just stuck my unsanitary hand up to my wrist into his wort, I apologized. He said, "don't worry, that kit's been in my basement a couple years, so I'm not counting on it even turning out that well." Still, I felt like crap.

It DID turn out well, no infection. In fact, it was quite tasty.

/CSB
 
My thermometer died mid-brew day last Friday, and I've been winging the temps ever since. I think my wort was at the right temp when I pitched. And I'm pretty sure it stayed in the right temp range during peak fermentation? It did need a blowoff tube, but it still has a hell of a krausen 5 days in. So, I'm 90% sure it's fine? It's fine. Right?

Feels good to have that out in the open.
 
In the beginning, I never measured gravity.

Nowadays I take a lot of measurements & notes, but then I lose the paperwork & have no clue about what my notes said.
 
I have 3 third year hops planted that still haven't produced many hops, and only know what the one type is.
Also, I've killed at least 5 plants. :(
 
I've had similar hop-growing experiences.

I have just added 7 giant bags of miracle grow veggie soil to my hop areas. I have tried to grow hops since 2008, and only 1 plant out of 5 really produced anything. Today I have 9 varieties (13 plants - about 8 are new rhizomes) - I just received the last rhizomes today & will plant today. Hopefully, my soil additions will prove to be fruitful. If not, I reckon I won't grow anymore. I water regularly & we get plenty of sun - I just added a bunch of "good" soil - so maybe...

I feel like I've made every possible mistake in brewing from my floating thermometer breaking and adding lead to the wort to freezing my beer & having corny kegs explode to having a gallon of starsan going into my beer to my never-ending battle with acetylaldehyde ending up in the finished product. I still continue to brew because every now & then I do get it "right".

Cheers to ALL !:mug:
 
I kegged up 10 gallons of pale ale today, realized after filling one that I may have not sanitized the keg. Then since mt taps are full decided to naturally carbonate and stupidly put both additions of priming sugar in the same keg. Oops. Jumpered the gas in of the overpriced keg to the beer out of the unopened keg and am hoping for the best.

I also recently realized that I may have been mashing up to 10 degrees low for a long while. No wonder my beers have been ending up drier
 
marcopolo said:
I've had similar hop-growing experiences.

I have just added 7 giant bags of miracle grow veggie soil to my hop areas. I have tried to grow hops since 2008, and only 1 plant out of 5 really produced anything. Today I have 9 varieties (13 plants - about 8 are new rhizomes) - I just received the last rhizomes today & will plant today. Hopefully, my soil additions will prove to be fruitful. If not, I reckon I won't grow anymore. I water regularly & we get plenty of sun - I just added a bunch of "good" soil - so maybe...
Click to expand...

Dude, what you need is some Miracle Grow (30-10-10) for vegetative growth cycle, then some Power Bloom (10-30-18) for the flowering cycle. The NPK mixture in that Miracle Grow garden soil is all wrong for hops.
 
Barley_Bob said:
My thermometer died mid-brew day last Friday, and I've been winging the temps ever since. I think my wort was at the right temp when I pitched. And I'm pretty sure it stayed in the right temp range during peak fermentation? It did need a blowoff tube, but it still has a hell of a krausen 5 days in. So, I'm 90% sure it's fine? It's fine. Right?

Feels good to have that out in the open.
Click to expand...


**** dude, that is too far. Order a new one ASAP.
 
I have to admit.. It took me my first two brews to realize that 3 pounds of extract was not enough to make a real brew. I just assumed that this was an adequate amount since that's how they sold it.
 
podz said:
Dude, what you need is some Miracle Grow (30-10-10) for vegetative growth cycle, then some Power Bloom (10-30-18) for the flowering cycle. The NPK mixture in that Miracle Grow garden soil is all wrong for hops.
Click to expand...

Forget about the chemicals and get yourself a truck load of composted chicken ****.
 
Confession- I was tryin to do 60 days sober.. I got to day 30 but my mom and grandma came to visit me in northwest Washington (I'm basically in Canada) and I exploited the opportunity to show them tastes of northwest beer.
 
SnakeRidge said:
It's fine. Over the years, I've developed the ability to tell temperature with the back of my right hand and determine gravity with my left hand.
Click to expand...

And the palm of your right hand is for something you wouldn't confess to your mother?
 
Barley_Bob said:
Haha, got it. ;)
Click to expand...

Got to be careful with it around the Missus, though.

Her: "Hey, do these jeans make my butt look fat?"

Me, holding up right hand. "Come here, we can quantify that."

Her: "If you touch me with that hand, I'm cutting it off."

Me, thinking to myself: "With great power comes great responsibility"
 
When I was single and first started brewing in 1990 I jumped in with
the enthusiasm meter pegged out. Finally, I was in my 680 square
foot apartment cooking up a batch and looked in the corner
to realize I had EIGHT CASES bottled.

Took a self intervention and a few parties but got it all back under
control. Never thought of doing smaller batches.

All the Best,
D. White
 

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