Best Advice You've Ever Received

[Dadrick]

.... Only 3% of the population are totaly trying to mess with the world.

And why do they all end up in Washington, as lobbyists and politicians?

 

[Dadrick]

When you are in a hole stop digging.

 

[summersolstice]

Never ask a woman if she's pregnant.

 

[bad coffee]

get an airline miles credit card. Put everything you buy on it, pay it off every month, and enjoy the free flights.

 

[Bopper]

Whenever making a deal remember that there is usually one person getting taken advantage of. If you don't know who that person is, it's you.

 

[eschatz]

Never ask a woman if she's pregnant.

HAHA, that's awesome. I've done that. It sucks so much.

 

[rokipynes]

If you're going to be a bear, might as well be a grizzly

Don't let your mouth get you into what your ass can't cover

 

[zombie]

I had a math teacher who would mark a math question wrong if you didn't show the math.

It took years for that lesson to sink in.

 

[EdWort]

You can prick your finger, but.....

 

[Ceedubya]

I grew up on a farm/ranch and my dad got a copy of the Hereford News every month. On the back they always asked all the old cowboys questions. One month they asked a group of em what thier best advice for the younger generation was.

One old boy said: "Forty years ago I gave up on Women, and I've been happy ever since".

My dad cut it out and stuck it on the fridge.

And here are a few of my dad's little nuggets of knowledge.

When he found out I knocked up my girlfriend: "guess you found out that thing is for more than peeing, didn't you?!"

When we were trying to hobble a heifer to get her to allow her calf to feed "kick the old b***h in the leg so she'll move it". This one got me kicked right back in the leg, and found me laying in a pile of steaming cow s**t. To which he found great pleasure in.

 

[Dadrick]

The smartest man in the world isn't the one who knows everything; it is the the one who where to look for the answers.

 

[jmulligan]

Usually the most annoying, look-at-me! person you know has really ****ty self-esteem (and I find the most constructive thing to do is just ignore them).

Don't flip out about things that happen - just deal with them as best you can, and try to have fun in life.

You have to like yourself and be happy with you if you want to be happy with someone else. And only boring people are bored.

 

[imaguitargod]

The best advice I ever received wa s alesson I was tought while on one of my magic mushroom experiments:

It never ends, it never begins, it's just is.

 

[bluehouse]

The best advice I ever received wa s alesson I was tought while on one of my magic mushroom experiments:

It never ends, it never begins, it's just is.

So you learned this from The Troggs or looking at you age more likely Wet Wet Wet.

 

[jgln]

You can tune a piano but you can't tune a fish. :cross:

Sorry, couldn't help myself.

 

[llazy_llama]

From my dad (which I did not follow, much to my dismay) "If you absolutely, positively, have to join the military, go to college first and become an officer. Whatever you do, don't go in enlisted."

Guns work on the condom principle. It's always better to have one and not need it than to need one and not have it.

From a Sepcial Forces buddy: Unless you're in bed, in a pool, or in the shower, you should always, always, always have a knife on you. Even then you should have one within arms reach.

 

[BierMuncher]

Keep uncle Lester away from the dog.


...someone didn't listen...

 

[jgln]

Not an exact quote but an old man (my boss) once told me to pick something and be the best at it and you will always have work, people will come to you for it.

Kind of a take on the "jack of all trades, master of none" saying. But I think that is true but probably more if you are self employed. When you work for someone you are done when they screw up and then you need to hopefully find someone with the same need for you.

 

[Bopper]

Keep uncle Lester away from the dog.


...someone didn't listen...

View attachment 10560

Wow. I almost jumped out of my chair when I saw that. That picture is crazy! :rockin:

 

[dagamore]

Just saw this on an add, and thought it was good.

Bring Enough Gun.

 

[Tonedef131]

Pitch Cold.

 

[StoutFan]

The first shot is the one that matters.

 

[Bedlam]

Being resentful is like peeing on yourself in the dark. It might feel all warm and nice at first, then it gets cold and nobody else knows or cares anything about it, anyway.

 

[EvilTOJ]

I thought peeing on yourself was like happiness. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel it's warmth.

 

[LaurieGator]

Never keep a honey where you make your money!

 

[Nurmey]

When the bear is after you, you don't have to be the fastest runner, just not the slowest.

 

[Lost Pirate]

Be careful, the toes you step on today may be connected to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.

 

[MikeFlynn74]

You never have time to do it right the first time- But you will always find time to do it over again.

 

[danorocks17]

life's too short the drink ****ty beer

never dip your pen in the company ink

show me a hot chick and i'll show you a guy who's tired of f***ing her