no offense intended before I offend you. but that sounds pretty ummmm.... stupid to me. what type of parent would allow their minor child to drink? As a child their brains and bodies are still developing and it doesn't seem wise to allow their primary role model to condone the under age consumption of a substance that reduces the ability to reason and has been proven to cause medical issues even in fully matured human beings(and lab rats). If it was actually possible to limit their consumption and amount consumed to when they were with their parents on special occasions, like maybe a (1)beer after the triptaphan(spellcheck) in the turkey was taking affect, then I might see your reasoning. They pass out and therefore think drinking aint all that much fun. Kids should learn for themselves(not through the help of role models) after they have reached the age that society has deemed acceptable, whether or not they want to drink socially. Otherwise we will have many future generations of self righteous drunks like me(and probably you) to blame all of society's problems on. I would apologize for that tirade but I have strong feelings on underage drinking due to the death of a family member at the hands of an underage drunk.
I started having a glass of wine when I was about 7 with birthday dinners, holiday dinners, and the like. I choose when I drink, what I drink, how much I drink, and have no problem behaving responsibly (or irresponsibly in a responsible environment, ie no driving period). Giving me wine or the occasional sip of beer didn't ruin me as a person, and I have never endangered someone, before or after legal age, as a consequence of my drinking.
Really, if a dad says to his son "want a slug of beer?" and lets him have a sip, the beer police aren't going to show up and arrest him for giving alcohol to a minor. The beer police have far more important things to do, like arrest people who ask why their airlock took 3 days to start bubbling.
I understand why you have issues, and I'm sorry for your loss, but let's step back here. I will bet you a hundred dollars without knowing a thing about the incident that the underage kid in your case was *not* drinking under the supervision of a parent, and therein lies the problem. The parents haven't taught their child responsibility, hadn't taught the kid to think of the consequences *before* the drinking starts, because after it starts, forethought like that goes out the window.
All I can say is that pure abstinence only education for sex doesn't work, and often promotes ignorance and poor judgment. I can only figure total abstinence "education" for alcohol would turn out similar results. It's a complex, complicated problem, and saying "kid, you're on your own when you turn 21" leads to binge drinking, stomach pumps, and Girls Gone Wild on DVD (hmm... maybe it's not such a bad thing...)
I'll get off of my political soap box here. I've known and worked with a few teenage alcoholics (binge drinking at 12 in one case) and without exception a lack of parental involvement was not the cure, but one of the causatives. Alcoholism, like many different kinds of addiction, so often relates back to emotional issues that it's not funny. Abandoning someone with potential addiction tendencies to "figure it out on their own" is almost promising an addiction, not the prevention of it.