Accidentally had SEX in my beer!!! ruined?

Hi

cheezydemon3 said:

Hi

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Um what?

well hello there, sir.

Nice !!!

So I'm assuming your operation has expanded beyond 5-Gallon batches? If not, even more props.

Oh, right...your question was on the quality of the beer after said coitus. I'd imagine there would be some sanitation issue...but who knows - homebrewing is all about experimentation, right? And speaking of experimentation...

It is pretty straight forward....

HI!

I hope for your future woman's sake it was a Mickey's widemouth bottle.

ZING!

Oh alright. You all want details.....

OK, so after like 30 bud lite limes (excellent quality beer) my embalmer girl (yes, you heard me right) wants to see the 3.6 billion gallon subterranean fermenter.

After frolicking with the penguins and after a few more rice/barley/lime brews, she wants to go skinny dipping. Who am I to say no?

So......ya know.

Agreed, a few billion sperms in 3.6 billion gallons will do no harm. (lets face it, there is far more penguin poo in the brew than sperm)

What gets my crusty wheels turning, is wondering what strain of yeast she has been cultivating betwixt her legs for who knows how long......

And while the amount of yeast is certainly less than the penguin poo, and less than my 300,000 gallon starter..........just a few yeast can take hold and there is no end in sight if they are stronger than the safale I pitched

I know, I know.....RECIPE

I tried to copy and paste but the file was 4 times the size of this entire website.

Gee, I hope it wasn't a 1-gallon batch.

There's been a lot of horse sex in here lately.

Thunder_Chicken said:

Gee, I hope it wasn't a 1-gallon batch.

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cheezydemon3 said:

3.6 billion gallon subterranean fermenter.

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Zuljin said:

There's been a lot of horse sex in here lately.

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..............hmmm...............horse?

Wait, you haven't seen the recipe.....horse...........hmmm.....

I'll get back to you.

So that's what "pitching the yeast" means...I've been doing it wrong the whole time. Thanks Cheezy!

Thread should be "pitched my own man yeast into fermenter"

beaksnbeer said:

Thread should be "pitched my own man yeast into fermenter"

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MAN yeast??? Don't you read the good book?

Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING comes from the mighty vaAYJAY...


carry on.

I have never been a fan of cream ales.

cheezydemon3 said:

MAN yeast??? Don't you read the good book?

Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING comes from the mighty vaAYJAY...


carry on.

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Or cums in

Can't... resist... posting... AHHHH! Cheezy, I'm sure it is still surprisingly sanitary. After all, I read on HBT that pee is pretty sanitary too, so that's got to mean your issue is somehow more OK.

And beaksnbeer, how can you use your tongue after a post like that? Too soon.

I hope you practiced safe sex......by making sure she didn't bump her head on anything.

How many pots have you smokened?

That's not even a fair question, it's like asking How many drinks you've drank or times you have gone to the bathroom!!! Lol

hmiles86 said:

That's not even a fair question, it's like asking How many drinks you've drank or times you have gone to the bathroom!!! Lol

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The answer is two good sir. Always two. Over 10 years as a paramedic has taught me that no matter how effed up you are, your answer to the cops or medical personnel will always be two. Two drinks, Two Bowls, Two girls...... And seriously Cheezy! Hasn't the movie beer fest taught us all that the yeast will pull you down and your only hope is to drink your way out! Unless you used her as a ladder at which point I suggest the "Dead Hooker Ale" be copy written immediately lest you be out of what may very well be the next Ke(i)llerweizen.

Thunder_Chicken said:

So that's what "pitching the yeast" means...I've been doing it wrong the whole time. Thanks Cheezy!

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My brews have been suffering from premature fermentation. Yet my doctor says I shouldn't call until its been four hours.

cheezydemon3 said:

Hi

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I'm jumping in before reading another post only cause if cheery started this it is epic. Does doing this count as the second post?

Accidentally had SEX in my beer!!! ruined?

Did you taste it? Did you take a gravity? How long was it in primary? Did you bottle too soon? Did you run this past Revvy?
I caught you after signing off Dan....unless you only sleep a few hours a night.

Dan said:

I'm jumping in before reading another post only cause if cheery started this it is epic. Does doing this count as the second post?

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He makes me smile. We should just call him "cheery"

I was looking for an excuse for you Dan. It's late here and only 1 am there...your on your own.

lschiavo said:

I caught you after signing off Dan....unless you only sleep a few hours a night.

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Occasional insomniac if there is such a thing, I'm one.

Photos or it didn't happen lol.

cheezydemon3 said:

Hi

Accidentally had SEX in my beer!!! ruined?

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My visual.

Cheezy having a good brewday, but can't find mash paddle.
Uses dangly piece to stir.
It feels great and . . . well . . . there's an accident.

So, the answer is no. It was pre-boil.

:cross:

AnOldUR said:

My visual.

Cheezy having a good brewday, but can't find mash paddle.
Uses dangly piece to stir.
It feels great and . . . well . . . there's an accident.

So, the answer is no. It was pre-boil.

:cross:

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On a good day your mash would be in the 150's That's a bit warm for my danglies.

I don't remember a question but I belive you are correct that it is "YES" or "B".

If the goal is to create a beer child, I would pitch after chilling. It is not as comfortable but should be more effective and if unsucessful, the taste will still be there...

Ballsy Cheesy... Ballsy..

Ahhh....wise words from some good friends!

I think I do have a thread about dipping your junk in the wort somewhere aeround here........

Anyhow, I think this is all for naught. I checked my submersible penguin cam and those little buggars are doing it all the time in there.

Our little contribution will be a hint at best.

I don't believe you!




About the "accidentally" part.

Well........after 30 bud light limes, I can hardly say it was intentional, but you are right.

30 bud light limes?

Sure the "Accidentally had SEX in my beer" wasn't "Accidentally PEED in my beer?" That's about the only unintentional thing I can see coming from that consumption.








. . . after the too old to party joke,
waiting for one about being old and having to pee alot.

fish have sex in the water you use, and the yeast fornicate in there too. you're not the only one, so go ahead and drink up

Hmmmmm......Mega cavern under Louisville zoo. You banged your woman in a penguin crap filled puddle of bud light lime in the mega cavern? Please tell me you were zip lining, too!:rockin:

You Sir, are amazing. May the Buddha guide your heart. May your beer produce billions of mutant sperm to be your minions. I wish to apply for a job in your cabinet once you take over the world with aforementioned mutant sperm. Warm regards.:rockin:

cheezydemon3 said:

Hi

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"Sex in your beer?" Um, hit it with 1 campden tablet per gallon & it should be fine. BTW, let us know when you get lucky in the necropolis.
(Couldn't resist that one!)
Regards, GF.

Those innocent penguins are forever tainted by your philandering.

And after 30 bud light limes I would have sex with my own vomit.

Tex said:

Those innocent penguins are forever tainted by your philandering.

And after 30 bud light limes I would have sex with my own vomit.

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Lol, well! That would have been pretty, I am sure.