BlackForestBrewery
Well-Known Member
Granted, but it turns out you are insane and the power is only in your imagination while in reality you are strapped down to a stretcher in the loony bin.
I wish I could move back to Portland, Oregon.
Wish Corruption thread
- Thread starter JorgeIsKing
- Start date
Help Support Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum:
Granted, but it turns out you are insane and the power is only in your imagination while in reality you are strapped down to a stretcher in the loony bin.
I wish I could move back to Portland, Oregon.
Granted. You move back to Portland, Oregon...
I wish they serve good beer at our company's belated Christmas party tomorrow.
BlackForestBrewery
Well-Known Member
Granted. You move back to Portland, Oregon...
I wish they serve good beer at our company's belated Christmas party tomorrow.
Granted, they serve good beer but you have to pay for the beer you drink.
I wish I had (3) 15 bbl fermenters, and 10,000 lbs of base malt.
Granted, they serve good beer but you have to pay for the beer you drink.
I wish I had (3) 15 bbl fermenters, and 10,000 lbs of base malt.
Wish granted. But you have no yeast and no one will sell you hops
I wish I could stay on task for more than 10 minutes and never forget useful info.
BlackForestBrewery
Well-Known Member
Hang Glider
Beer Drinker
Granted. You can now stay on tas.. hey there's a squirrel!
I wish my kegerator hadn't died.
tmneyer
Well-Known Member
granted. your kegerator didn't die, but your dog did.
i wish i was going to the super bowl.
i wish i was going to the super bowl.
Jim Karr
Well-Known Member
Granted, you're going to the Super Bowl. You're assigned to clean and maintain all the restrooms during and especially after the game.
I wish I had a million American dollars, in small, unmarked bills.
I wish I had a million American dollars, in small, unmarked bills.
BlackForestBrewery
Well-Known Member
Granted, but the bills were of an old design and were shredded and sold as packing material and hold no value.
I wish I had 1,000,000 lbs of assorted hops (fresh, and packaged separately by variety).
Granted. Those hops are pretty heavy....in fact they're crushing you to death. If only you could reach your brewpot....
I wish for more wishes.
hereforbeer
Well-Known Member
strat_thru_marshall
Well-Known Member
Granted. That wish didnt come true. All your and everyone else's wildest dreams came true, much to your dismay.
I wish I had Superbowl tickets.
FireBrew63
Well-Known Member
Granted, but they were from last year.
I wish I could read my wife's mind. (fire away!)
I wish I could read my wife's mind. (fire away!)
Granted, but the incredible complexity of a female psyche
would drive you mad, therefore you would have to spend the rest
of your life in psychiatric ward strapped to a bed.
I wish NASA announces they have found microbial life on mars.
granted, but the microbes brought back feast on beer yeast and will spread over the earth in 3 years destroying our beer making ability.
i wish I could retire this year.
BlackForestBrewery
Well-Known Member
Granted, you ''retire'' but do not receive any retirement checks.
I wish fishing season was here again.
Fishing season is here!! Too bad you set up your ice fishing shelter on thin ice and fell through.
I wish the Sabres would make the playoffs!
hereforbeer
Well-Known Member
Granted.They die from microbes brought from mars right after.
I wish I had a barley crusher,and no side effects other than having crushed barley.
Ace_Club
Well-Known Member
You have your barley crusher and no other side effects other than having crushed barley! Too bad that testicles were officially re-named "barley" just after you got your crusher.
I wish I had a full brewery in my basement.
hereforbeer
Well-Known Member
Granted.Your testicles are crushed thanks to my barley crusher.
Dunerunner
Well-Known Member
You wish is granted and you have the most beautiful full 7bbl show piece brewery anyone could ask for complete with kegging and bottling line. However, violation of the home brewing laws and restrictions on commercial brewing in a residence cause the Liquor Commission and police to shut you down and lock you out of your home, besides; all brewable grains are now being used to make ethanol for automobile fuel.
I wish my Powerball numbers would come up tonight!
rycov
Well-Known Member
granted. your power ball numbers do come up. but only during conversation.
i wish i could drink beer all day everyday.
i wish i could drink beer all day everyday.
TANSTAAFB
Well-Known Member
Granted, you are a raging alcoholic. Your friends and family have slowly given up on you as you slip into the abyss. You are a lonely miserable soul that only exists to consume alcohol. While you would like to be drinking good homebrew and craft beer, you can only afford to drink Oly Gold Light and the Beast.
I wish I was surfing a nice consistent undiscovered point break that crashes every day outside my big house on the beach with plenty of room for friends, dogs, and family (in that order) and a nice home brewery to keep the party rolling...:rockin:
BlackForestBrewery
Well-Known Member
Granted, but your house is on the edge of a Somalian slum. It's ''big'' by Somalian standards but in reality its about 5' x 5', and all your ''brewing'' is done with garbage and rotten fruit that you scavenge out of the dump your house was built on.
I wish the Bears would crush the Packers in todays game.
rycov
Well-Known Member
granted. instead of running on to the feild, the bears decide to parachute in. however their plane crashes into the stadium and crushes the packers team and the bears all die except for one. he can't come to grips with what happend so he is perpetually ready for this game to start. he is currently in intensive care where he gets up and yanks off all the various cords and tubes that he is atatched to and runs plays. tackling nurses, doctors and patients.
i wish i was a little bit taller, i wish i was a baller, i wish i had a girl that was fine i would call her.
i wish i was a little bit taller, i wish i was a baller, i wish i had a girl that was fine i would call her.
AwesomeSquad
Well-Known Member
Granted, but your immense height is due to hypertrophy of your pituitary and you die from heart failure. The term "baller" refers to your title in hardcore gay porn, and the girl that is so fine wishes that you wouldnt call her and gets a restraining order.
I wish that my work gave me my raise based on my average BAC.
northernlad
Well-Known Member
Granted, but your employer has passed a strict drug policy that includes alcohol and tests weekly.
I wish to come up with the next billion dollar invention.
I wish to come up with the next billion dollar invention.
tallybrewer
Well-Known Member
Granted. I'll bet you wish you got a patent on it before someone else made a billion dollars from the idea.
I wish it was easier to clean out blow off tubes.
bernerbrau
Well-Known Member
Granted. It is now easier to clean out blowoff tubes... because your yeast never starts fermenting in the first place. Ever. Again.
I wish this cold would go away.
tallybrewer
Well-Known Member
Granted. Your raging case of Ebola virus drove your cold away.
I wish I had a freshwater spring in my back yard that I could use for water & cooling when brewing.
Granted. You also live between a nuclear power plant, a public dump, and a sewage treatment site. Nuclear E-Coli Porter, anyone?
I wish my anatomy class was a tad easier.
Granted. Your class is now super easy, but your instructor has been replaced by a young lady with huge breasts and way too much cleavage. You still cannot concentrate enough to pass. (Ok, I'll admit, I'm not sure how "bad" this situation really is...)
I wish Joss Whedon would start making episodes of Firefly again.
Hang Glider
Beer Drinker
Granted.
Joss has turned into an actual firefly. Lifespan...3 weeks, same as the TV episodes...
I wish I were going to the Master's instead of working on my master's.
Joss has turned into an actual firefly. Lifespan...3 weeks, same as the TV episodes...
I wish I were going to the Master's instead of working on my master's.
Ceedubya
Well-Known Member
Granted, you are attending the LPGA evian masters tournament.
I wish my wife would give me.... ummmm.... oral copulation tonight.
TANSTAAFB
Well-Known Member
Granted, your wife introduces you to the new pool boy as she heads out for a girls night...he is only too willing to give you...ummmm...oral copulation.
I wish my cheap ass copper had come in so I could make my chiller and do a full boil rather than the split boil I am currently doing
Ceedubya
Well-Known Member
and we don't even HAVE a pool! hahaha!!
Granted, you are decapitated in a grousome accident. Your head managed to roll 150 yards into ended up in a huge pile of dog ****.
I wish my dog would stop eating my couch cushions, because then we both get in trouble with SWMBO and I won't get my wish from a few posts ago......
Hoodweisen
Well-Known Member
Wish granted You got the dog to quit eating couch cushions which in turn got your wife started with a oral fixation that very same day But, because the dog wasnt busy in the other room eating couch cushions he stood staring in the corner watching you so your wife couldnt finish her part because she fealt weird.
I wish that i owned a brewpub that had a loyal patronage.
I wish that i owned a brewpub that had a loyal patronage.
bernerbrau
Well-Known Member
Granted. You own a brewpub with a loyal patronage... of pimps, drug dealers, rapists, and murderers. Nobody actually drinks your beer or eats your food, but if you close down they'll find you and kill you in your sleep.
I wish my place of employment would bring back the casual Friday and telecommuting policies.
I wish my place of employment would bring back the casual Friday and telecommuting policies.
tallybrewer
Well-Known Member
Granted. Too bad you were laid off on the day of the policy change.
I wish it was Friday.
Similar threads
