The egg nog stout has been a big hit with everybody who has tried it. I might recommend holding off on adding the cinamon and clove until after your first batch, I've changed my opinion slightly about whether it needs more.
I like the idea of extending your spicing across the flame out and secondary, I'll be interested to hear how you think that worked out.
And the rum soaked oak... yes. I'm doing another batch in 2 weeks and I'm definitely going to add this step into the equation.
RE: Hops... I was concerned that the hops might compete with the spicing, but I found that they lived together quite nicely. I honestly don't think you need to pull back on them at all, but I'll be curious to hear what you find.
Good luck!!!