Let's face it, men and women are different.
But I discovered the ONE difference that shows all of the rest of the differences.
You know how you and your partner have the "FREEBIE?" The one if you met in person, you could have relations with, and no problem?
Ok, well, one of my (much younger) friends and I found out this summer that we have the same Freebie- Eddie Vedder.
So, the conversation between Bob and I:
Bob: Eddie Vedder is your Freebie, huh?
Me: Oh, yeah. Eddie Vedder has it all- looks, talent, intelligence, moral indignation, integrity. Oh yeah, I'd do him. five times, if he'd let me.
Bob: Huh.
Me: Oh, yeah. Over and over.
Bob: Huh.
Me: Who'd you choose?
Bob: Hmmmm, let's see. [thinking]. {face lights up} Just you, honey.
Me: You can't count me. Who else?
Bob: Huh. I can't win this one. If I say some someone, you'll get all insecure and worry about it.
Me: No I won't! I mean, it's a fantasy!
Bob: No, I don't have anyone. And if I did, I wouldn't tell you.
Me: Well, I already told you mine! That's not fair.
Bob: Ok, ok, mine is the girl who works at the McDonald's Drive-Thru on Fridays.
Me: {hitting him} Shut up! It is not. You are friends with her mother!
Bob: Ok. Not her. But I'm not playing this game! I can't win. There is no one, I swear. And definitely NOT Reese Witherspoon. Now, can I have a beer?
He's so dead. Reese Witherspoon is lame.
But I discovered the ONE difference that shows all of the rest of the differences.
You know how you and your partner have the "FREEBIE?" The one if you met in person, you could have relations with, and no problem?
Ok, well, one of my (much younger) friends and I found out this summer that we have the same Freebie- Eddie Vedder.
So, the conversation between Bob and I:
Bob: Eddie Vedder is your Freebie, huh?
Me: Oh, yeah. Eddie Vedder has it all- looks, talent, intelligence, moral indignation, integrity. Oh yeah, I'd do him. five times, if he'd let me.
Bob: Huh.
Me: Oh, yeah. Over and over.
Bob: Huh.
Me: Who'd you choose?
Bob: Hmmmm, let's see. [thinking]. {face lights up} Just you, honey.
Me: You can't count me. Who else?
Bob: Huh. I can't win this one. If I say some someone, you'll get all insecure and worry about it.
Me: No I won't! I mean, it's a fantasy!
Bob: No, I don't have anyone. And if I did, I wouldn't tell you.
Me: Well, I already told you mine! That's not fair.
Bob: Ok, ok, mine is the girl who works at the McDonald's Drive-Thru on Fridays.
Me: {hitting him} Shut up! It is not. You are friends with her mother!
Bob: Ok. Not her. But I'm not playing this game! I can't win. There is no one, I swear. And definitely NOT Reese Witherspoon. Now, can I have a beer?
He's so dead. Reese Witherspoon is lame.