Erroneous said:
Sir Humpsalot said:Studies have shown that women look for a LOT of different things in a man. Men mostly go for "is she hot?" For instance, women will rate a man's physical attractiveness very differently if they know his career, income level, etc. For guys, it generally doesn't matter much. Think about it: Women will tell you that men can be "hot" in 3-piece suits, carrharts, tee shirts, khakis, uniforms, etc. Women are hot in short skirts, bikinis, and less. See the difference there? One is about social status, value as a protector/provider/etc... and the other is about skin. That's just how it is.
That IS a fundamental difference between men and women.
IMHO, there's one reason to be faithful: kids. Otherwise, hey, maybe there's someone better. Maybe it'll take you 10 years to find her. Maybe the person you're with right now is a great person and will always be a great person. But if there's somebody better, there's nothing shameful about wanting to find that person. The notion that you will meet the one person who is right for you is just a crock. LOTS of people are REALLY cool. I mean, do people really think that if they hadn't met their current spouse that their life would have been completely empty and lonely? Bah! Of course not! You would have just found somebody else. There's thousands of people you'd probably be interested in, if the situation were right. So get the idea of someone being perfect for you completely out of your head.
The important thing is honesty and integrity and character. Be upfront about it and there isn't really much of a problem. Love is such bull****. We make people feel like they need to stay in relationships they don't want to be in, do more than they want to do, change who they are to appease another person. Then we wonder why half of marriages wind up in divorce. F that. Just be happy with yourself, treat your partners with respect, and stand up for yourself and others as human beings, whatever your or their interests or desires may be. A man, or a woman, is not something to be captured and tamed and tricked into a relationship.
In my life, I've dated about 10 girls who I knew I could be totally happy having a committed relationship with. They were all great girls. And I can count my bad relationships on one hand... I'm generally pretty good at pushing away the wrong ones for me. But ultimately, I'm better for having all the time in the world to find the people that mean the most to me. All the pressures of "settling down" or whatever is for chumps and people who want the suburban dream.
One of my current GF's has a kid. And that kid is awesome. We've talked about it. I've got no interest in playing baby's daddy. But I've got no issue whatsoever being a male role model and enjoying watching him grow up to be a man. This summer, I helped teach him to swim and, I just have to say, that was AWESOME! Other women I'm with just have to accept the fact that I think the kid is pretty cool and I enjoy seeing him grow up. If they can't handle that, then they just don't have any respect for being a decent human being. If their need to have me is greater than their appreciation for what it means to have relationships with people, then they just aren't right for me.
I grew up with lots of positive male role models. My dad is one of the best people on the planet, as far as I'm concerned (and is still married to my mother), but I remember lots of other grown up guys that were really cool and taught me a lot as well. You don't need to be called "Dad" to be a great guy and to have a huge positive impact on a child's life. And you don't need a woman to make your life complete.
As for freebies... they're all freebies to me. Just don't make stupid choices.
Just my two cents.
bottlebomber said:
Erroneous said:
How many lol..Sir Humpsalot said:
I mean seriously, what's the longest you've spent in one relationship that would make you feel like you're qualified to dispense relationship advice to people who are in marriages? There's way more happiness to be found in sticking with one person.
Sure that all the women you dick over and dump for the next best thing totally understand that. It's kind of like buying a car for you.
You really don't have any idea what a relationship is, do you? It'll be 40 year in a few months. Kids have been out of the house for some time now. Guess the wife and I should bail on the marriage now? With or without kids, we would have shared great times together and had a lifetime of memories to look back on. Was there someone better out there for each of us? It doesn’t really matter.
And this gets us right back to the OT, the difference between men and women. A woman is a lot more likely to hold out hope that a relationship will grow and be hurt when it ends, even if one is not there up front. Men can move on a lot easier. Thing is, we've evolved and should know better.
You know what's really HAWT?
When you and your girlfriend/spouse have the same one.
I had an ex girlfriend who had the same hots as I did for Nigella Lawson. Those were the days.
but finding that one person who will put up with your (my) nonsense day after day is difficult.
I've been in two long-term relationships. The first was 18 years, and the second was/is 12+. Being in 5 relationships that lasted a year isn't really "monogamous", except maybe unless you call it "serial monogamy".
Relationships are NOT about children, although many people have them. It's about having a life partner.
In a one-year relationship, it's not even close to a life-term partnership. That's great if you're happy like that, but it's NOT a "long term relationship" at all. That's a short term relationship, monogamous or not.
Anyway, my whole "freebie" thing got totally derailed.
I have to play my newest Pearl Jam CD to recover from it.
I'd take your dominatrix avatar as my freebie.
Sir Humpsalot said:Studies have shown that women look for a LOT of different things in a man. Men mostly go for "is she hot?" For instance, women will rate a man's physical attractiveness very differently if they know his career, income level, etc. For guys, it generally doesn't matter much. Think about it: Women will tell you that men can be "hot" in 3-piece suits, carrharts, tee shirts, khakis, uniforms, etc. Women are hot in short skirts, bikinis, and less. See the difference there? One is about social status, value as a protector/provider/etc... and the other is about skin. That's just how it is.
That IS a fundamental difference between men and women.
IMHO, there's one reason to be faithful: kids. Otherwise, hey, maybe there's someone better. Maybe it'll take you 10 years to find her. Maybe the person you're with right now is a great person and will always be a great person. But if there's somebody better, there's nothing shameful about wanting to find that person. The notion that you will meet the one person who is right for you is just a crock. LOTS of people are REALLY cool. I mean, do people really think that if they hadn't met their current spouse that their life would have been completely empty and lonely? Bah! Of course not! You would have just found somebody else. There's thousands of people you'd probably be interested in, if the situation were right. So get the idea of someone being perfect for you completely out of your head.
The important thing is honesty and integrity and character. Be upfront about it and there isn't really much of a problem. Love is such bull****. We make people feel like they need to stay in relationships they don't want to be in, do more than they want to do, change who they are to appease another person. Then we wonder why half of marriages wind up in divorce. F that. Just be happy with yourself, treat your partners with respect, and stand up for yourself and others as human beings, whatever your or their interests or desires may be. A man, or a woman, is not something to be captured and tamed and tricked into a relationship.
In my life, I've dated about 10 girls who I knew I could be totally happy having a committed relationship with. They were all great girls. And I can count my bad relationships on one hand... I'm generally pretty good at pushing away the wrong ones for me. But ultimately, I'm better for having all the time in the world to find the people that mean the most to me. All the pressures of "settling down" or whatever is for chumps and people who want the suburban dream.
One of my current GF's has a kid. And that kid is awesome. We've talked about it. I've got no interest in playing baby's daddy. But I've got no issue whatsoever being a male role model and enjoying watching him grow up to be a man. This summer, I helped teach him to swim and, I just have to say, that was AWESOME! Other women I'm with just have to accept the fact that I think the kid is pretty cool and I enjoy seeing him grow up. If they can't handle that, then they just don't have any respect for being a decent human being. If their need to have me is greater than their appreciation for what it means to have relationships with people, then they just aren't right for me.
I grew up with lots of positive male role models. My dad is one of the best people on the planet, as far as I'm concerned (and is still married to my mother), but I remember lots of other grown up guys that were really cool and taught me a lot as well. You don't need to be called "Dad" to be a great guy and to have a huge positive impact on a child's life. And you don't need a woman to make your life complete.
As for freebies... they're all freebies to me. Just don't make stupid choices.
Just my two cents.
) she still qualifies as the hottest being on the planet. And while I believe that she is morrally tuned in and enviromentally indignant, all hot qualities on the hottest being on the planet, I am not really going to be thinking about that f I meet her and engage in sexual activity.
Eddie Vedder........definitely Eddie Vedder......I mean, even though I am a straight guy, Eddie is so morally......um.....whatever yooper said.
Angelina Jolie.
Over
Done.
Seen Salt? She completely changes her hair 7 or 8 times to hide, and each time, even with the "man" haircut (she looks a little like Eddie when she goes man...
Whattawort said:
