Harmless ways to keep folks on their toes

Not since learning to pull the foil off the neck of the wine bottle have I been given such a useful bit of advice...

aiptasia said:

Here's something both useful to the user of this stunt and annoying to everyone else. Work at a big company housed inside of a large multi-floor office building? Ever go on a company trip in a resort town and be stuck in a big hotel with over a thousand rooms and what seems like two elevators?

Wish you could just go straight to your floor and bypass all of the other floors whether or not they have guests waiting on the elevators or not?

Simple trick that ALL elevators have programmed into them:

When you first get on the elevator, hold the door closed button down until the doors close. Then, press your floor while continuing to hold down the door closed button. Then release the door closed button once the elevator starts to move.

This is an "express floor" function built into elevators which allows staff, police and fire/rescue to immediately go to a specific floor without having to stop at every floor with someone waiting to use an elevator.

Yes, it is programmed into ALL elevators. You'll thank me later.

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Back when you could smoke in a restaurant, I had a friend who would always say Pot when they asked his smoking preference. The responses were awesome

Same guy will go into a mcdonalds, when his turn to order he will point to the menu board, and say "I'll have #2 the fried squirrel on cornbread." Usually you can get the person to stop and turn around and look at the board. Hint it seems to work better with the first couple menu items, cause the kid knows what they are.

Electrician friend gets disposable camera shells from the photo dept at walgreens. When he has a apprentice he triggers the flash while his own hands are in a electrical box. Then says "oh damn that one was hot" he had one kid wet his pants.

When in home Despot or similar say to person with you "go get some insulation/drop cloth/ etc to put on the walls when we kill those puppies"

The think geek annoy-a-tron works great, the random cricket sound is the best, especially at a time of year when there are no crickets.

My dad had a friend whose last name was Hampton, he lived in a really nice condo on Lake Michigan. My dad stopped at a Hampton Inn and got a bunch of soap, matches, ash trays, cocktail napkins, etc and left them laying around the condo. A few weeks later his a neighbor he kind of knew asked if they could use his place for their weekly poker game. After noticing the stuff, one of them asked dads buddy if he could get a good rate on rooms for his company. This apparently went on for a bit before his friend figured out these poker buddies all thought he owned Hampton Inn.

There was a manager in our office who was always doing goofy stuff. One day he decided that his team needed a theme song. He chose "we are the champions" or something similar. Each day he would play the theme song before his staff meeting loud enough most of the office could hear it. One day someone swapped out his CD for Divynils "I touch Myself" already cued to one of the better parts of the song.

It was Awesome I was in my bosses staff meeting when it started playing. The secratary was blushing, the whole office (40 or so people) was standing up looking toward his office, and the manager playing the song was so embarrassed/confused he couldn't get the radio shut off. His staff was all busting up laughing.

It was the last time his theme song was played.

Update 3/21: I had one of these backfire yesterday.

After my friend came over to fix my computer and drink too much mixed berry melomel with me, I realized I was quite drunk and quite hungry. Since it was midnight I ordered from the diner. I flippantly put in the delivery.com box "if you drew a stick-figure family on the bag that would be awesome."

I forgot about this until I got a call from the diner. "Unfortunately we are out of turkey meatloaf, can I substitute our beef meatloaf?" "That sounds just fine, its the same price right?" "Absolutely it is, and how many family members would you like on the bag?"

*Stunned silence*... he used the same tone, no chuckling or anything. All business.

"Um... three please"


It showed up and sure enough the happy family was on the bag. I totally got served.

CreamyGoodness said:

Update 3/21: I had one of these backfire yesterday.

After my friend came over to fix my computer and drink too much mixed berry melomel with me, I realized I was quite drunk and quite hungry. Since it was midnight I ordered from the diner. I flippantly put in the delivery.com box "if you drew a stick-figure family on the bag that would be awesome."

I forgot about this until I got a call from the diner. "Unfortunately we are out of turkey meatloaf, can I substitute our beef meatloaf?" "That sounds just fine, its the same price right?" "Absolutely it is, and how many family members would you like on the bag?"

*Stunned silence*... he used the same tone, no chuckling or anything. All business.

"Um... three please"


It showed up and sure enough the happy family was on the bag. I totally got served.

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Nice.

Ahhh NY. To have reliable diners that deliver to you. I miss living in NY. CT sucks for diners.

CreamyGoodness said:

It showed up and sure enough the happy family was on the bag. I totally got served.

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"You just got F'd in the A!"

Tape a soda can to someones tire. so when they reverse they here CRUNCH thinking the hit some thing. Or you can lay them in the road sticky tape side up so when a car runs over it it will stick to the tire.