The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

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Friday it was 78. Yesterday it was snowing, and today it was 19 degrees outside, with more snow.

What's the over/under on the first d-bag cracking some stoopid global warming joke today? I'd say noon, but that's only because I've been desperately trying to avoid all non-essential humanoid contact today.

Ahrrrgggg, you can all GFY's.

Hmm, I'm feeling better already.
 
Anyone who cracks a global warming joke by saying "duhhhh i thought it was supposed to be getting warmer out?" should be hit in the head with a 2x4 for being a moron.

No idea why but that is such a pet peev of mine. I'm always thinking, "congrats for perfectly illustrating that you have absolutely no clue what you're talking about".

That said... I guess it isn't 100% their fault as the phrase "global warming" is a horrific name for the phenomenon and not very intuitive for simpletons.
 
nhwrecker said:
Friday it was 78. Yesterday it was snowing, and today it was 19 degrees outside, with more snow.

What's the over/under on the first d-bag cracking some stoopid global warming joke today? I'd say noon, but that's only because I've been desperately trying to avoid all non-essential humanoid contact today.

Ahrrrgggg, you can all GFY's.

Hmm, I'm feeling better already.
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I'm glad to know we're not alone- fruit trees in Michigan are probably going to lose their fruit, as the blossoms can't take 10 degrees. Luckily(?), we live in the UP where the blossoms haven't even come out yet, so we may be ok here with our apple trees and other fruits. But the peach, apple, cherry crops that are in lower Michigan are likely to be a loss this year.

It's supposed to be 9 degrees tonight. And more snow on the way.......... I hate it.
 
I dunno why everyone is so grumpy... The only reason a dusting of snow on April 4th has everyone putting on their pissypants is that we had such a mild winter.

It's early April in New England and people are acting like a dusting of snow is a shock to the system. Where ya been the last several decades??

Next fall everyone is going to go with... "Ohhhhh my Godddddd!! The leeeeeaves are changing colors!!!"

Move to Florida ya wusses.
 
Cape Brewing said:
I dunno why everyone is so grumpy... The only reason a dusting of snow on April 4th has everyone putting on their pissypants is that we had such a mild winter.

It's early April in New England and people are acting like a dusting of snow is a shock to the system. Where ya been the last several decades??

Next fall everyone is going to go with... "Ohhhhh my Godddddd!! The leeeeeaves are changing colors!!!"

Move to Florida ya wusses.
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I heard that the north and Midwest had a mild winter, but that doesn't mean I like it in April, by gosh. I want to work on my plants, put my goldfish back in their pond (if it ever thaws) and actually go outside without my nose freezing. I want to think about putting my dock in the lake, if it ever thaws.

I'm a wuss. And I'm a grumpy wuss. But at least I'm not stuck in New England.
 
day_trippr said:
The BVI would be in a Top Ten list of Places To Go Where The Beer Selection Is Utterly Appalling. So you adjust.

Between beaches we stopped into a 400 year old rum distillery for a tasting. Shown is the original copper still, the better part of the building, and our host.

Picked up a couple of fifths of 10 year barrel aged light. Wonderful stuff, sipping quality...

Cheers!
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Did you help install RaspberryPints for him?
 
TheDudeLebowski said:
Yoop. I don't think your masshole card can ever be taken away. You're a natural.
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Thanks. I love you too!

I've been back in the winter for almost two whole weeks and my tan is fading as is my "sunny" mood. So I feel quite at home with bitching about the weather.

I haven't even had a bit outside in a beer garden since March 20, so I'm sure you understand my surly attitude. I haven't worn flip flops since March 22.

Brrrrrrr.
 
Yooper said:
I heard that the north and Midwest had a mild winter, but that doesn't mean I like it in April, by gosh. I want to work on my plants, put my goldfish back in their pond (if it ever thaws) and actually go outside without my nose freezing. I want to think about putting my dock in the lake, if it ever thaws.



I'm a wuss. And I'm a grumpy wuss. But at least I'm not stuck in New England.
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Haha... You said "by gosh"
 
I think she's swearing at us in Midwestern. Maybe gosh is code for something? Or she could be talking about her clothes? Don't they all wear oshkoshbegosh stuff up there? Or is it garanimals, where you need to match the tigers so that your outfit matches?
 
nhwrecker said:
I think she's swearing at us in Midwestern. Maybe gosh is code for something? Or she could be talking about her clothes? Don't they all wear oshkoshbegosh stuff up there? Or is it garanimals, where you need to match the tigers so that your outfit matches?
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TheDudeLebowski said:
I thought shucks was the midwestern standard for swearing?
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I thought I might broaden your horizons a bit, but I guess you Massholes only understand one expression.

GFY.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, my pandas do line up today. I'm not a complete idiot.
 
I had a friend from North Dakota in college, the worst curse I ever heard come out of her mouth was "oh, buckets!" So weird.
 
Melana said:
Just wondering if there was a double meaning in there....
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No. I'm not smart enough to be clever enough to come up with double meanings. I barely can explain what I mean to begin with!

the_bird said:
"Had your lake thawed? I'd love to put my dock in it." There's no way this hasn't been used as a pickup line HUNDREDS of times in U.P. bars.
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You haven't heard the best of our wonderful Yooper language. Most commonly, a Yooper would say that they are "Waiting for their lake to unthaw". Seriously- unthaw. They "unthaw out steaks", for example. The lake, when the ice melts, "unthaws".

I'm like, HELLOOOOOO!!!! "Unthaw" would mean to freeze, while thaw means to, well, thaw. Der.

So, to use that pickup line, you'd have to change it to:

"Had your lake unthawed dere? I'd love to put my dock in it cuple two tree times doncha know".

Now THAT's a Yooper pickup line if I've never heard one.
 
Yooper said:
No. I'm not smart enough to be clever enough to come up with double meanings. I barely can explain what I mean to begin with!



You haven't heard the best of our wonderful Yooper language. Most commonly, a Yooper would say that they are "Waiting for their lake to unthaw". Seriously- unthaw. They "unthaw out steaks", for example. The lake, when the ice melts, "unthaws".

I'm like, HELLOOOOOO!!!! "Unthaw" would mean to freeze, while thaw means to, well, thaw. Der.

So, to use that pickup line, you'd have to change it to:

"Had your lake unthawed dere? I'd love to put my dock in it cuple two tree times doncha know".

Now THAT's a Yooper pickup line if I've never heard one.
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I laughed and laughed.
 
That Moose head meat beer looked and sounds disgusting......

but I swear I think I tasted it over the weekend.

sub-titled = WHY DO BREWERIES SERVE BAD BEER?

A brand new brewery, Millyard Brewing, opened on Saturday in Nashua, NH. They had hundreds of people, and I was really looking forward to trying their beers and wishing them best of luck in the new endeavor.
At least, I was until I tried their beers. They had 3 on tap, a Pale, Ale, IPA, and Strong Ale. All 3 were served in 4 OZ clear plastic cups. All 3 looked almost identical in color and clarity.

First Sip, the Pale Ale didn't taste quite right, and by the 2nd and 3rd, my wife also confirmed that it tasted like crap - no distinct major off-flavors, but definitely something funky and bad was going on. MOved on to the IPA, and this one was undrinkable. Couldn't even take a second sip, and going back to the PA, that started tasting worse too. The Strong Ale was worse than the PA, but not as disgusting as the IPA, but at that point, we couldn't even finish any of them, and just through out the remainder and left as soon as we could.

I'm hoping, for their sake, that this was just a very bad business decision, rushing to have 3 beers to serve on opening day, because if this is the quality that they plan on serving, I'm never going back.
 
nhwrecker said:
That Moose head meat beer looked and sounds disgusting......

but I swear I think I tasted it over the weekend.

sub-titled = WHY DO BREWERIES SERVE BAD BEER?

A brand new brewery, Millyard Brewing, opened on Saturday in Nashua, NH. They had hundreds of people, and I was really looking forward to trying their beers and wishing them best of luck in the new endeavor.
At least, I was until I tried their beers. They had 3 on tap, a Pale, Ale, IPA, and Strong Ale. All 3 were served in 4 OZ clear plastic cups. All 3 looked almost identical in color and clarity.

First Sip, the Pale Ale didn't taste quite right, and by the 2nd and 3rd, my wife also confirmed that it tasted like crap - no distinct major off-flavors, but definitely something funky and bad was going on. MOved on to the IPA, and this one was undrinkable. Couldn't even take a second sip, and going back to the PA, that started tasting worse too. The Strong Ale was worse than the PA, but not as disgusting as the IPA, but at that point, we couldn't even finish any of them, and just through out the remainder and left as soon as we could.

I'm hoping, for their sake, that this was just a very bad business decision, rushing to have 3 beers to serve on opening day, because if this is the quality that they plan on serving, I'm never going back.
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1) many new breweries are a result of investors that see craft beer as $$$$$$$; they have the financial backing but not the brewing knowledge

2) they probably aren't manipulating water and/or controlling fermentation temps. Sad, but true. See #1

3) hipsters don't know what good beer tastes like, so they flock to these new, hip, breweries and hold their nose drinking bad beer because they don't know what it's supposed to taste like...
 
AZ_IPA said:
1) many new breweries are a result of investors that see craft beer as $$$$$$$; they have the financial backing but not the brewing knowledge
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^.... this

Very very weeks go by that we don't have someone asking us all about where we got this or that piece of equip.. or how we handle this or that process... and probably 75% of the time it is someone with very little brewing experience. They have usually done "a couple extract batches" and "my family has some money to put into it". We had one guy who had done one batch at a BYO place and was then telling us about how he was going to hurry up, trademark a name, and start looking for space.

The running joke we have on the topic is basically an impersonation... "Yeah so... I put gas in my car the other day so I'm thinkin' I'm gonna open an auto repair business. Where do you guys buy your oil filters??"

I used to get super pissed and insulted but now I just try to answer the questions as politely as possible and wish them well.

It is amazing how many breweries are also starting out huge right out of the gates. They somehow get millions of dollars in their hands and just have at it, never having brewed anything at all on a commercial scale. If it works for them, awesome... but I couldn't fathom going that route personally. Given how competitive it is, it better be really solid beer from the first batch or you're going out of business REALLY quickly with a shti-ton of debt hanging over your head.

THAT is where I see any "bubble"... I don't see a demand bubble at all but I think a lot of these "just toss up a building and have at it!" Breweries are going to start falling by the wayside.
 
Cape Brewing said:
OMG!!!

You could brew....

TROUT STOUT!!!

Booooooooooom!
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Too late. ;)

Apache trout stout logo.jpg
 

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