You ever just want to punch someone in the neck?

Attended a 50th birthday party for a friend this weekend. All he asked of the invitees was to bring one beer with them for the purposes of collecting 50 different beers for a picture he wanted to take. We could then take our respective beer home (which no one did). He now has an instant and somewhat righteous stash of beer. As for me, I scrawled a permanent mental note in my granite skull and will duly make the same request if I live to my 50th birthday. Anyway, on a previous occasion said friend mentioned that he had never tried Great Lakes. So, I brought three different samples for him. What turned out to be his quest for 50 wound up being about 100. Nice take for the night.

I don’t really consider myself a beer snob by any means, but I was amused at the events that followed as soon as I stepped out to the deck to grab a beer. About five other guys were sitting there talking beer. It quickly became obvious that they were trying to sound knowledgeable, but really didn’t know what they are talking about. I give you this example, “Yeah, that Mississippi Mud Black and Tan is greeeeeaaaat imperial stout”. Mmmmmm’kay. That’s when another fellow said “Let’s try this one”. He proceeds to open up a bottle of Founders Oatmeal Stout and pours it in to several small sampling glasses. We all grab one and sip. With the exception of me, and without missing a beat, I hear a collective groan like Spaulding drinking that leftover liquor with a cigarette butt in it (you Caddyshack fans know what I’m talking about), witness the looks on their faces as if they just caught wind of grandpa’s fart, and one quips something to the effect of "this tastes like @#$%". To a person they dumped their samples on the lawn. The kicker is to cleanse their palates they each reach for their respective drinks: three Michelob Ultras, one Bud Light, and one Schlitz. You read that right, I said Schlitz. Me? I finished my sample walked over to the well stocked group of coolers, scoped out the impressive, but hardly touched (not surprisingly) craft beer selection, grabbed a fresh Founders Oatmeal Stout and poured it in my glass. It was then that, of all people, the fellow with the Schlitz asks “you like that swill?”. I deadpanned, “Well, I really like Schlitz better, but I don’t want to drink your best IPA”. I just headed back inside to watch the football game and eat some food.

ha. nice one.



and yes, almost every day i have to keep myself from punching someone in the neck.

well the other guys apparently never had many dark beers. not surprising considering the major commercial beers are pilzners. i know its taken me a while to get used to them. but calling it "swill" is a bit much.

Sucks they poured out beer but if they didn't like it, what did you want them to do? Lie? And schlitz isn't bad man.

Oatmeal Stout is pretty heavy for guys used to drinking pilzner. They just haven't had the chance to learn to appreciate a good stout.

This reminds me of a time that I must have been 21 or 22. I went to a party at an older couples house and they were serving up some really nice booze.

I grabbed their Glenfarclas 17 year old single malt, poured some over ice, then popped a can of pepsi and started pouring it over the top of the Scotch.

I thought that the owner of the home was going to punch me in the neck and his wife was going to kick me in the b**ls

I bet they then spent the rest of the night awestruck by your awesomeness and superiority.

Meh, more of the good stuff for you. Best not to get worked up over it. Kind of like how when you were a kid and never liked your vegetables. Once I didn't have two people trying to shove the stuff down my throat, I cam around and starting liking them on my own.

I'm pretty sure they were calling you a dick after you went back into the house.

I find it's easier to just aim for the head.

I like people like that . Gives me more choices of what I would call good beer and they call swill.


edit : they may have not liked it or knew much about beer but at least they tried it

Had my dad over for the first time since I started brewing and I have a nice light wit on tap. Poured him half a glass...said this is good, tastes like budweiser... Didn't even finish it. I then gave him a little of a milder IPA, 45 IBUs and he handed it right back. I'd love to bring him around but he just doesn't have the palate. Poor guy was comparing my stuff to bud/miller/heineken. Oh well I just know its not his thing and don't let it get to me.

Meh. I don't think they were being that big of dicks. However, yes, I do often want to punch people in the neck/face/kidneys. If I could get away with it, I would probably punch several people a day.

johnnyc said:

Had my dad over for the first time since I started brewing and I have a nice light wit on tap. Poured him half a glass...said this is good, tastes like budweiser... Didn't even finish it. I then gave him a little of a milder IPA, 45 IBUs and he handed it right back. I'd love to bring him around but he just doesn't have the palate. Poor guy was comparing my stuff to bud/miller/heineken. Oh well I just know its not his thing and don't let it get to me.

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What would be the best quote for this thread? Maybe:

"You can lead a whore to Vassar, but you can't make her think."

....or something like that.

My Father is like that he calls Stouts and Bocks bottom of the barrel beer even though he knows that is not the case. He keeps telling me to make a nice coors or millers for him. Pretty soon I am going to piss in a glass and chill it (I would never do that to my father but you get the premiss).

Schlitz is not a bad BMC kind of beer. But Founder Breakfast Stout is fantastic! Not a session beer, but a very good beer for that special occasion IMO.

But I would advise kickin in the nuts. That way you could still hang on to your drink.

KYUSHO00 said:

Pretty soon I am going to piss in a glass and chill it (I would never do that to my father but you get the premiss).

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lol i get it cause american lagers taste like human excrement thats a p good joke duder

i just say to people with beer ignorance:

"you may like McDonalds cheeseburger because you are used to them. doesnt mean they are good quality or an authentic product."

or

"hey, I loved my first rusted out old chevy truck too, doesnt mean it was as high quality as an italian sportscar just because it suited me better."

i just wish more people could distinguish the difference between liking something, and actually knowing its a good product. i hate movies like Citizen Kane, and Gone With the Wind, but I recognize that they are quality films. On the other hand there are plenty of fun movies (or music) I like such as Beerfest or Without a Paddle that I admit aren't the best quality or most artistic.

Just because you like it , doesnt mean it's good, and vice versa.

my dad actually said to me when I started homebrewing "if it's not Budweiser, it's not beer." yeah ok pop, good luck with that.

I think part of it is people are just creatures of habit. Take coffee for example. My grandparents still drink Folgers instant coffee every morning, and I'm guessing it's not because they don't know Starbucks/Dunkin Donuts/etc exists. Coffee to them means boiling a pot of water and pouring it over brown flakes. Similarly, beer to alot of people is just translucent grain water.

Of course, given the opportunity, you should take advantage of these people, and make them pay more for their grain water. My father is a great example. Since I started bringing home micros and homebrewing, he asked me to "Recommend a beer he'd like. Something he didn't have to chew." So now he spends my meager inheritance on Stella...

I don't know.

I have no problem with people who expect nothing more from their beer than grain water. My problem is that there are a LOT of people who talk out of their ass about beer. I run into them all the time. If you can't even get your style straight, don't pretend to be an expert. I had a guy who gave me a condescending look because I said I didn't care for Saranac Pomegranate Wheat. I should have punched him in the neck.

I usually don't care what other people like or want to drink. Want BMC? Fine by me. I still drink them when there's limited selection.

Am I having a good time doing whatever I'm doing? that's what I think is important. There is enough other bulls***t to worry about.

SilverKing said:

I usually don't care what other people like or want to drink. Want BMC? Fine by me. I still drink them when there's limited selection.

Am I having a good time doing whatever I'm doing? that's what I think is important. There is enough other bulls***t to worry about.

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Amen to that. I only want to punch people in the neck when they try to punch me in the neck first for not drinking BMC... to quote Garden State, "Don't tease me about my hobbies. I don't tease you about being an a**hole."

Darker ales really can be quite a bit to get used to. I find if it's cold, carbonated isn't a hop bomb or anything crazy guests WILL drink it AND enjoy it.

I've been brewing and enjoying ales for a while now and I have fits enjoying a Founders Stout still.

EDIT: My father a beer drinker of 40+ years now HATES me stuff more than anyone. He likes a good american lager/pilsner. Nothing else will do. The man even lived in England for two years and said he couldn't stand the options there.

Ok, let me start by saying that I pretty much always support punching people in the neck. Any time of day or night. Especially wearing brass knuckles (or stainless steel, depending on preference).

That said ...

Eh, talking **** about how totally and utterly lame someone is because they're way too ignorant to appreciate what's really worth knowing about in life, which is, of course, good quality beer, seems, oh, I dunno, to be taking our little shared hobby a little too seriously for my taste. Since, say, I could probably find a thousand film geeks who think you're totally and utterly lame and not worth talking to because you actually implied that a totally crappy movie like "Caddyshack" was even worth bringing up. Or a thousand literary types who'd look at whatever's on your bookshelf at home and immediately decide that you're an illiterate ignoramus. Or a thousand fashionistas who think that whatever you're wearing clearly reveals your ignorance about how the world really works.

Or a thousand computer geeks who'd want to punch you in the face for even deigning to say "I like my Dell desktop." Or a thousand car lovers who'd want to kick you in the nads for having the gall to actually like your Honda. Or a thousand music snobs who'd want to twist your ears in a vice for actually being proud of listening to [insert X artist]. And so on.

It is quite easy, I well know, to forget that everyone else in the world isn't totally fascinated by the process of converting malted grains to alcoholic beverages, but damn, it's not like we're curing cancer here or anything.

Ok, that was a little mean. Apologies.

Neck punching and nad kicking are artforms that society has overlooked or forgotten about. (Maybe not the nad kicking, ever see America's Funniest Home Videos? It's "Laugh at the guy who took one to the danglies" hour.) And as such one can deduce that there are things in all facets of society that have fallen by the wayside or deemed unsophisticated. Beer has unfortunately fallen into the latter. Your group of guys have illustrated that America thinks of beer the same way they think about most anything. It gets a job done and is popular, so I'll be popular too while I get the job done. Go me.

I run into these sorts of asshats everyday about all sorts of subjects, but guess what? I geek out on things they don't. To the beer drinkers that have the impression that all beer tastes like "poo", some taste less like "poo" than others I say, American lager is the style they prefer. That's how you bring them up to your level of beer-itude. If they choose not to be enlightened, then the neck punching commences.

http://blogs.homebrewtalk.com/Boerderij_Kabouter/Its_cool_to_be_a_beer_snob_NOT/

The only snobs in the OP's post were the dudes thinking their BMC was awesome and what he liked was "swill".

It is fine if you like BMC, but start talking down to me because I like different beer, and the neck punching could be close.

The reverse is just as true and often more annoying (at least to me). Unfortunately most of the beer world is made up of guys with an inferiority complex and unfortunately small genitalia.

Palefire said:

...

Or a thousand literary types who'd look at whatever's on your bookshelf at home and immediately decide that you're an illiterate ignoramus...

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that's where you're wrong. I don't own books much less a bookshelf.

and the point is that i wouldn't try to say that "Everybody Poops" is better than a Dan Brown novel just because its the last book I read. That is the difference. I don't care that people like BMC. What does irritate me is when they act like micro brews, or home brew is inferior to BMC. Ok you dont like SNPA, or Sam Smith Oatmeal Stout? Fine. but admit its because you aren't cultured and never acquired a taste for finer beers, not because "if its not bud, it's not real beer" as my dad said.

wreckinball9 said:

that's where you're wrong. I don't own books much less a bookshelf.

and the point is that i wouldn't try to say that "Everybody Poops" is better than a Dan Brown novel just because its the last book I read. That is the difference. I don't care that people like BMC. What does irritate me is when they act like micro brews, or home brew is inferior to BMC. Ok you dont like SNPA, or Sam Smith Oatmeal Stout? Fine. but admit its because you aren't cultured and never acquired a taste for finer beers, not because "if its not bud, it's not real beer" as my dad said.

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This is what you do. Have them drink a Bud American Ale, then an SNPA and see if they really prefer one over the other.

Boerderij_Kabouter said:

The only snobs in the OP's post were the dudes thinking their BMC was awesome and what he liked was "swill".

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Exactly. I was simply minding my own business and opening what many of us consider to be a fine stout when the Schlitz dude decided to take a shot at my selection of brew. If you drive a Lexus are you going to sit by while the shmoe driving a 1972 Ford Pinto tells you your car is a piece of crap? I couldn't not make a smart alec comment back at him.

wreckinball9 said:

What does irritate me is when they act like micro brews, or home brew is inferior to BMC. Ok you dont like SNPA, or Sam Smith Oatmeal Stout? Fine. but admit its because you aren't cultured and never acquired a taste for finer beers, not because "if its not bud, it's not real beer" as my dad said.

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As far as someone who doesn't like micros/homebrew not being "cultured"...maybe they just don't like it. Maybe they've been exposed to poor examples or styles they wouldn't like anyway. I've had some micros/homebrew that was seriously bad before.

People are going to have strong opinions about anything. Whether they actually know what they're talking about or not.(homebrewers and beer snobs are included in this group) They key is to hand them another one of "their" type of beer and relax. Who knows, maybe they'll have enough Bud Light Limes to become friendly and interested in what makes micro/homebrew so great.

If not, you haven't lost any time worrying.

GLWIII said:

If you drive a Lexus are you going to sit by while the shmoe driving a 1972 Ford Pinto tells you your car is a piece of crap? I couldn't not make a smart alec comment back at him.

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exactly man. i dont think some people who responded are getting the point. you didnt attack their beer selection, you stood by as they acted like experts on a subject they clearly weren't educated. Then they, the experts, made the comment about YOUR selection.

i doubt you, or I, or anyone really minds if people have their own opinion. But I'll be damned if I would go up to a Mexican and tell him that the best mexican food comes from Taco Bell.