God Help me.... My wife hates beer

Does she help with the brewing? If not, get her involved. Surprising how much a person is much more attuned to the taste of beer, when they're involved in the process. Get all the recipes and descriptions that you can and have her peruse them, asking her to pick something that strikes her fancy. Then brew it together, having her do the lion's share.(without the usual spousal prompting and criticism). It's like a big chemistry experiment. People will always be concerned about the fruits of their labor. If the end result is something that she likes - voila! If not, she may be the type that wants to succeed, and so she'll want to try again. Worst case scenario, even if she still doesn't like beer, you've got an assistant brewmaster. All thru the process, compliment her on her technique, ie, attention to detail, cleanliness. (even if you cringe at how she does things).

Then the question remains. Do you really care if she likes beer, or are you just concerned that she supports your habit? Maybe this is the question that you really have to ask yourself.

Sorry for the long-windedness. I've already had two DFHs.

Or, in like in my case..................

Pursue your separate hobbies. My spouse wants nothing to do with winemaking, beer making, cheesemaking, etc. So, those are my hobbies. I'm not real crazy about gardening. That's his hobby. We both love fishing and canoeing and kayaking- so we do that together. Nothing wrong with having separate hobbies, and long as you respect each others' time with their hobbies.

I agree that you shouldn't try to force someone to like beer. Im just saying it can't hurt to have her try different things. My girlfriend knew nothing about beer and drank budlight but now because of me she has a better understanding of beer. Not to say she still doesn't drink budlight but she does not more about what she likes then she did before.

YooperBrew said:

Or, in like in my case..................

Pursue your separate hobbies. My spouse wants nothing to do with winemaking, beer making, cheesemaking, etc. So, those are my hobbies. I'm not real crazy about gardening. That's his hobby. We both love fishing and canoeing and kayaking- so we do that together. Nothing wrong with having separate hobbies, and long as you respect each others' time with their hobbies.

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Do you have a sister?:cross:

Brew-Skies, thats been asked many many times!

Noted! But I'm fairly new to the forum.

I just noticed, that with this post, that I became a senior member. Do I get senior discounts?

brew-skies said:

Noted! But I'm fairly new to the forum.

I just noticed, that with this post, that I became a senior member. Do I get senior discounts?

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No, but you do get an early-bird special.

Does it include beer?

If she doesn't like beer, give her vodka...........................

Nah, roofie-coladas.

Buy a bottle of Lindeman's Frambrois and see if she likes that.

llazy_llama said:

And some people just don't like life. Sheesh, if you don't like bananas, coffee, or beer, why bother carrying on?

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Because bananas are disgusting.

brew-skies said:

Do you have a sister?:cross:

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No, but I have a younger brother that can go either way.

He looks like me, but taller, fatter, hairier, and darker. And male.
On second thought, probably not your type! (And in case he's reading this, is 100% hetero and happily married).

My point was that some of the rest of the world, while incomprehensible to us, just simply doesn't like beer. That's fine. I'm not real big on quilting but some are. But I still like the results (quilts) and wouldn't denigrate quilters.

cheeseshark said:

Because bananas are disgusting.

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No no, I meant why bother living if you don't like bananas, coffee, or beer. Surely there's at least one thing in that list you enjoy.

Try a Raspberry Porter. A lot of women will drink those. Guess it depends on the recipe though (or brewery if commercial).

llazy_llama said:

No no, I meant why bother living if you don't like bananas, coffee, or beer. Surely there's at least one thing in that list you enjoy.

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Ahhh, thanks for the clarification. I was worried that I was only enjoying life two thirds of the way... I told my wife the other day that my list of three favorite things in the world are, in no particular order: beer, coffee, her/my daughter (no, my wife and daughter aren't the same person, I just thought they could go in the same category for listing purposes).

You're all coming at this from the wrong angle. After her seventh vodka/cranberry (or whatever she drinks) ask her to try your newest "beer" (smirnoff ice, or something she will like). In the morning she won't remember a thing, but somewhere in her mind she will remember liking your "beer." Repeat the brainwashing until she is convinced that she loves your "beer," and then one day she will remember loving your homebrew so much she'll start asking for it sober. Problem solved!

Borisbbadd said:

If she doesn't like beer, give her vodka...........................

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Perfect. Now you know what to do with the airlock vodka once you're done with the fermenter.

thanks for all the posts folks... but allow me to clarify my position just a wee bit....

I'm not trying to force her to enjoy beer.... I am just leaning towards the fact that with so many bajillions of different types of beer in the world and her limited experience in trying most of them that there is probably a few out there that she will actually enjoy....

So, if I can find a style that she truly enjoys, then I can turn my hobby/obsession into something that benefits us both instead of only me....

She does help me brew, she even claims to like it, (though I think she only says that to be supportive..which is why I like her so darned much and want to make something she'll enjoy)

yes I want her to keep involved.... yes I want her to enjoy beer..... but I'm not trying to force her to do anything.... I really just figured that with the amazing amount of experienced brewers here that somebody had a surefire recipe that is tried and true such that even people who don't care for beer generally enjoy....

I've had several people who tell me they hate beer try my dunkelweizen and loved it, you may want to try something like that, a belgian trippel or a sweet stout, like an oatmeal or chocolate stout.
SWMBO loves beer and is pregnant, so she just gives me a dirty look when I'm drinking something she likes.

Corkster said:

Grocery store brew eh...... cheater!! unless of course you're talking about premier malt extract purchased from your local grocery store and then brewed into a tasty homebrew!

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no, talking about the Grocery Store project brew we were trying to brew a beer like drink from grocery store items. It is quite beer like but only in the bottle about 10 days, not yet completely carbed.

Grimbergen Dubbel. My wife has been the victim of 4 years(since we met) of beer tasting. She is a great sport though, she will try anything(Including trying to steal my DFH 120!). This one is her favorite. Nice and sweet and malty. Her second is the various Berry Wheat beers I bring home.(Leinie's BerryWeis, S.A. Blackberry Wit, Purple Haze). Just trowing it out there for yah.

Corkster said:

thanks for all the posts folks... but allow me to clarify my position just a wee bit....

I'm not trying to force her to enjoy beer.... I am just leaning towards the fact that with so many bajillions of different types of beer in the world and her limited experience in trying most of them that there is probably a few out there that she will actually enjoy....

So, if I can find a style that she truly enjoys, then I can turn my hobby/obsession into something that benefits us both instead of only me....

She does help me brew, she even claims to like it, (though I think she only says that to be supportive..which is why I like her so darned much and want to make something she'll enjoy)

yes I want her to keep involved.... yes I want her to enjoy beer..... but I'm not trying to force her to do anything.... I really just figured that with the amazing amount of experienced brewers here that somebody had a surefire recipe that is tried and true such that even people who don't care for beer generally enjoy....

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Well, if she is really as vehement about it as you stated in your OP, I really think that it is a lost cause. Find something else that you both enjoy and do that together instead.

Its the "gateway" brew for reluctant beer drinkers

I always have a keg on tap for SWMBO... and I enjoy a glass or three every now and again

One Apfelwein.....

Two Apfelwein...

Three Apfelwein...

Floor!

Or conversely, you know you've had too much Apfelwein when you try to brush something off your shoulder and its the floor.


Also, my SWMBO has started to enjoy some of the lighter tasting beers..

Heffs, Cream Ale, Pilsners. Now when we go out to brew pubs, she'll order a pint, rather than a glass of wine.

I expect she'll never like IPAs or dry stouts, but its progress

+1 on EdWort's Apfelwein.

It's not beer, but you will do almost all the same process. This might give her time to build up a palate for beer. That said, I still believe if you show enthusiasm, and she still doesn't care for beer, then she will still support your hobby and more beer for you!!

Thanks again for the ideas folks.... I've gotta start taking notes now as there are too many different types for me to remember!

llazy_llama said:

Yeah, I got off work super early today (8 hours earlier than usual) so I've been celebrating by drinking lots of beer. Then again, I often celebrate the coming of Wednesday by drinking lots of beer. Tuesday sometimes too.

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Hey llama... it took me a bit to realize this... (Since I'm not terribly bright and all) but umm.. you posted this on a Friday!! I think perhaps you celebrated a bit tooo much on Tuesday and lost track of time..... (At least we know why they sent ya home early!)

My SWMBO doesn't like beer. But she samples (few sips) every homebrew I do. She has a pretty good palate and can critique them better than most people I give the one of my beers to. But in the end, she thinks all my IPA's taste like soap. I have a dark mild (low ABV%, low IBU, and malty and roasty) that is the first beer she regularly would get out of my beer fridge, open and drink by herself.

+1 on get a new wife. Take my wife. Please

+1 ^^^^^



Just to recap - your wife:

1. doesn't like beer
2. is vehement and loud about not liking beer
3. complains if you have more than one beer

I'm sure she has other skills that make this marriage thing work for you . . .



Thanks for the laugh this morning - this thread is great!

baru said:

+1 on get a new wife. Take my wife. Please

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WIN!

I was going to go with the punch comment but we had a late entry!



And to add to this thread my wife hates beer also, I gave up on her and instead make up things like Mead, Cider and the like that she will drink. That way I get to handcraft something she enjoys, which also helps keep her open minded on all my brewing adventures!

Pappers said:

+1 ^^^^^



Just to recap - your wife:

1. doesn't like beer
2. is vehement and loud about not liking beer
3. complains if you have more than one beer

I'm sure she has other skills that make this marriage thing work for you . . .



Thanks for the laugh this morning - this thread is great!

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LOL Pappers.. indeed she does..... and in all honesty, she doesn't really squawk that much about not liking beer... it's just something she has mentioned a few times.... like 10 -15 times in our ten years together...

She does worry a bit about my alcohol consumption though.. but then again in our ten years together, I've never kept beer in the fridge or drank more than 15-20 beers in a single year! Until of course I decided out of the blue that I wanted to home brew!

But still even with these shortcomings.. she's definitely a keeper!

Aleforge said:

WIN!

...instead make up things like Mead, Cider and the like that she will drink.

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My very first foray into brewing anything was a fresh squeezed hard apple cider last fall when we harvested our apples.... it was great fun.. she helped me press the 4 bajillion apples that it takes to get 5 gallons of juice.....

Only problem I ran into was that I had read the recipe about a month before I actually did the brew and somewhere along the way I got my wires crossed and put in 5 pounds of sugar instead of 5 cups... it uhh..wasn't good at all! (to put it in the nicest possible terms) I ended up dumping it.... but oddly enough, my wife actually liked it if you added a little sugar to it when you tried to drink it!

Surprise surprise...

My SWMBO also "hates beer" , but strangely also sometimes claims that she thinks the cider I made last fall tastes "beery." I can't imagine why since the yeast is different, only apples+sugar are used, and...yea, that's about all the cider is.

So to build up credit for brewing, I made about 12 gallons of cider and wine in '08 that are just starting to get good now. I just fired my my new turkey fryer on Sunday and had no problems or opposition despite visible flames and offensive odors scaring the dogs right out the window.

Man, your life sucks, dude.


My wife and I brew together (she loves to stir and play with the hops but makes me do all the math) and we won't even think about going out to eat at a place that doesn't have a good beer selection. We'll usually have 2 or 3 beers apiece and just split an appetizer or sandwich. I love my wife for reasons other than beer, of course, but it's great to share a passion/hobby together. If I have any complaints, it's just that she has no sense of delayed gratification. She'll go to the fridge and invariably grab the best beer in there. I always save the best for last.

Same thing with French fries. I'll eat the burnt little nubs first so that I can save the perfect, juicy ones for last. Then she eats the good ones before I get to them. Argh!



Anyhow, most of the female-types that I know who claim to "hate beer" don't actually have any problem with the beverage itself. They hate the culture of beer. It's a man's thing, it's loud, boisterous and free from rules of etiquette. You're supposed to drink beer while you watch sports, belch and hang with the guys. These are the things she doesn't like.

The converse is also true in the wine world. People like wine because it's sophisticated, refined and there are strict rules and expectations that follow its consumption. In fact, a large number of wine drinkers will actually try to tell you that you shouldn't even swallow the stuff because, well, alcohol consumption might hurt something about the experience. (cue rolling eyes)


The fact is that a happy middle ground does exist. Very few people who truly appreciate beer will drink like they're in a frat house all the time, nor will they try to elevate beer on some pedestal like a snob. This is the world most people don't see in beer and it's sad because it's how beer is best enjoyed. Humbly, respectfully but still keeping it fun. Treat beer like an old friend, not a boss or a telemarketer.


A lot of women live by social rules that men can't understand. Appearance is important and beer just sends the wrong message. Chardonnay is safe because it fulfills the expectations. Doesn't matter what they actually like to taste.

If you're going to get your wife to enjoy beer, you need to break the social rules and pretense that prevents her from drinking it. Unless you do that, she's never going to like it even if you find her a beer that fits her taste 110%.

Don't sweat it. My wife likes miller lite. I have her try all of my beers and she smiles and says "mm, thats nice" which means in her language it dosent taste like miller lite and i dont like it.

More for me.

HMM interesting situation but not necessarily unique.
My suggestions for what they're worth:

1st if you can a hold of single bottles buy a variety of different styles.
___Some suggested styles include:
______Hefeweizen //nonfruited hofbraeuhaus if you can find it
______Munich Dunkel //hofbraeuhaus if you can find it
______A nice trappist //(Chimay Grande Reserve [blue]) you can find it
______Belgian Browns
______Dunkelweizen
______An English Barleywine //Schlafley Reserve
______A fruited lambic //with ice-cream makes a great desert.
______A braggot //technically a mead
______Belgian Whit

2nd
___Best of luck to you.

Mine isn't very fond of beer either, so Apfelwein is the new thing She loves that stuff!

SumnerH said:

Buy her a Lindemans Framboise. There, now she knows there's a "beer" she likes.

Next get her a Belgian wit or hefeweizen with a lemon.

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This is a great idea! A lot of women (and some men) who don't like beer love these belgian styles. Low bitterness, a little sour and tart with some sweetness and blam they love beer. Lindermans i believe makes a bunch of beers with fruit, pomme is apple with a very tart finish, framboise is raspberries, it's delicate and clean with a big berry aroma, Cassis with black currants is fuller bodied and soft, kriek is red and is VERY CHERRY, Peche is the peach lambic.

While not my thing these are available all over the place and are a great place for her to start drinking beer. Next i suggest tripels, doubles, german hefe's. She'll come around!!! i guarantee it!

TrojanMan said:

Man, your life sucks, dude.
If you're going to get your wife to enjoy beer, you need to break the social rules and pretense that prevents her from drinking it. Unless you do that, she's never going to like it even if you find her a beer that fits her taste 110%.

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Good point on the social rules. One of my all time favorite brewpubs offers taste-tester varieties of multiple beers in small size classy-looking glasses. Fun to try lots of different types of beer all at one.

What about cooking a truly gourmet meal with associated beer pairings, as one might do with wine? OR if you can't cook, make for a restaurant that already offers that.

Personally, I don't see what the big deal is - maybe it's a cultural thing or maybe she just is not going to ever like beer. (And that's OK - you drink the beer and get her liquored up on cocktails on the weekends!!!) Just try the candlelit dinner with beer pairings maybe once!