Hi, my name is Malkore, and this is my first SWMBO thread...
Gentlemen (and ladies too)...I need to know if I'm being unreasonable, and if so by how much.
Here's the story: Sunday night me and the Mrs. had just sat down with dinner, and Family Guy was starting in 10 minutes, which means it was about 7:50pm.
The doorbell rings...and we're expecting no guests/visitors. Really all our friends call in advance, because we just don't entertain guests a lot. We're introverted I guess.
I answer the door and its my mother-in-law. She just was nearby and said she decided to stop by unannounced...for not reason other than to say hi.
Let me take a step back and state that her family feels compelled to visit each other often, and two whole weeks is an eternity to go by without a half hour phone conversation. However, I do get along very well with the in-laws including mom, who's fairly laid back 90% of the time.
So really, she popped in because she hadn't talked to my wife for 10 days.
She didn't get the hint that we'd sat down to eat...and took her coat off.
So I ate and then left the room. Didn't storm off, just silently left.
A half hour later she finally left and my wife comes in and tells me I can stop being a jerk now.
Fast forward to Tuesday and we are still bickering over this.
I maintain it was 8 o'clock on a Sunday night, and no person with common courtesy would pop in, and then proceed to hang out while you're trying to have dinner. I feel that since its her mother she should have found a way to let her mom know it wasn't a good time to visit.
She maintains its her family and she won't ever tell them its not a good time, even if the visit isn't important.
Its eating at me, mainly because this isn't exactly isolated. When push comes to shove and she has to decide to do something with her family or with me...the family event always wins.
I know marrying her means marrying into the family, but she seems to ignore the fact that by marrying me, I'm family too and that we made vows to treat each other right.
In my book, Family is family and they'll forgive your little petty bull**** because you're family.
But your partner in life always has give and take. I've already apologized for how I handled my disdain for the unwanted visit, and she thinks its settled and she's won even though I told her we still have a problem.
I just want her to admit she shoulda said something and that its not ok for her effing family (or anyone) to come barging in. My family and friends its not an issue, they respect the fact that you just don't invite yourself over, unannounced, without a reason. Domestic quarrel, broke down car...those are valid reasons to interrupt my evening.
am I totally wrong here?
Gentlemen (and ladies too)...I need to know if I'm being unreasonable, and if so by how much.
Here's the story: Sunday night me and the Mrs. had just sat down with dinner, and Family Guy was starting in 10 minutes, which means it was about 7:50pm.
The doorbell rings...and we're expecting no guests/visitors. Really all our friends call in advance, because we just don't entertain guests a lot. We're introverted I guess.
I answer the door and its my mother-in-law. She just was nearby and said she decided to stop by unannounced...for not reason other than to say hi.
Let me take a step back and state that her family feels compelled to visit each other often, and two whole weeks is an eternity to go by without a half hour phone conversation. However, I do get along very well with the in-laws including mom, who's fairly laid back 90% of the time.
So really, she popped in because she hadn't talked to my wife for 10 days.
She didn't get the hint that we'd sat down to eat...and took her coat off.
So I ate and then left the room. Didn't storm off, just silently left.
A half hour later she finally left and my wife comes in and tells me I can stop being a jerk now.
Fast forward to Tuesday and we are still bickering over this.
I maintain it was 8 o'clock on a Sunday night, and no person with common courtesy would pop in, and then proceed to hang out while you're trying to have dinner. I feel that since its her mother she should have found a way to let her mom know it wasn't a good time to visit.
She maintains its her family and she won't ever tell them its not a good time, even if the visit isn't important.
Its eating at me, mainly because this isn't exactly isolated. When push comes to shove and she has to decide to do something with her family or with me...the family event always wins.
I know marrying her means marrying into the family, but she seems to ignore the fact that by marrying me, I'm family too and that we made vows to treat each other right.
In my book, Family is family and they'll forgive your little petty bull**** because you're family.
But your partner in life always has give and take. I've already apologized for how I handled my disdain for the unwanted visit, and she thinks its settled and she's won even though I told her we still have a problem.
I just want her to admit she shoulda said something and that its not ok for her effing family (or anyone) to come barging in. My family and friends its not an issue, they respect the fact that you just don't invite yourself over, unannounced, without a reason. Domestic quarrel, broke down car...those are valid reasons to interrupt my evening.
am I totally wrong here?