Stupidest thing you ever did brew related

I just decided to test the turkey fryer I just assembled. and didn't know the flame was set to high and almost burnt my eye brown off. what is the stupidest thing you ever did?

sportscrazed2 said:

I just decided to test the turkey fryer I just assembled. and didn't know the flame was set to high and almost burnt my eye brown off. what is the stupidest thing you ever did?

Click to expand...

Two weeks ago, I opened my MLT as I was filling it from the sparge arm at the top, sending 180 degree water all over my chest. I had blisters on my boobies, because of the second degree burns.

Don't worry, though- the beer is fine.

I've also left ballvalves open, sending fresh wort all over the kitchen floor. Oh, and one time I was filling a 10 gallon cooler with water from the wort chiller, and I walked away. I filled the entire first floor of my house with water. I heard a strange "waterfall" sound, and walked in to find water cascading beautifully down my basement steps.

There are probably lots more, but I don't to talk about it any more.

Waiting until I was 38 to start.

Almost burned your brown eye? Ouch.

Yooper_Brew said:

I had blisters on my boobies, because of the second degree burns.

Don't worry, though- the beer is fine.

Click to expand...

Well that's good to hear.

I set my bottling bucket on the floor, dumped in my priming solution and started racking my beer into the bucket, then went into the bedroom to surf HBT while it racked over, planning to check back in 20 minutes or so. I decided I needed another beer about 7 minutes into the process to find the spigot was open and there was probably a gallon of beer soaking into my carpet. Now I have color coded open with paint so I can quickly make sure.

2 weeks ago when I was adding a second tap to my kegerator, I connected the keg (which was under pressure) before putting on the tap, sending beer flying clear across the room in a straight line. It just missed my cat and he wouldn't come out from under the couch for a good hour

I just did a stupid thing (probably not the dumbest - done too many dumb things to even try to figure out the dumbest). I just decanted off a starter (multiplying a vial of yeast x3 for a couple upcoming brews), and figured since it seemed like such a waste to dump the 2.5 Liters of spent wort down the drain like I usually do (after sampling to remind myself how nasty it is) that I should try to do something with it... So it threw it in a pan, added some hops that have been in the freezer for a while and were destined for the garbage anyway. So after boiling for 20 min or so, the house now stinks like... I can't even describe it. It's disgusting. Now I have all the windows open and trying to air this place out. That's today's stupid thing; what will I do tomorrow I wonder??

EDIT: Well, thinking about it I think the dumbest thing would be trying to release the pressure on a party pig after it was empty, and not being able to get anything sharp into the neck area to pop the bag from inside (like the directions said). So I loosened the screws on the neck a bit more trying to make some space, then BAM! All the little pieces were suddenly gone including the screwdriver. It took 2 days just to find the screwdriver. That was the first and only time I've used that friggin pig. Maybe I'll give it another shot one of these days...

I was carrying my 15 gallon BK down the stairs on the back patio to dump the hop sludge. Slipped on the stairs and landed on my coccyx. Luckily I held tight on the BK...

My coccyx still has a nasty bruise....

I called that beer "Failbone IIPA"

Used to float my boil pot in the pool with a pool noodle for chilling. Well, the rain started coming down so I ran outside to get that dang thing out of the pool and found it floating out in the middle of the pool and after some scrambling and cursing I pulled it in with the pool cleaner pole, and consequently got loads of rain and pool water into the beer. Could have ended much worse; no infection resulted.

I got smart (?) later and would hang an IC in there which kept it from floating away. Then I got way smarter and got a plate chiller. (but that was after I broke a full glass carboy in same pool, so I actually think I got dumber before I got smarter... but alas I digress).

Here's a pic from my middle-dumb-days for the picture nazis...

Stupidest thing was a bottling bucket mishap.

It was the summer of 2002, renting my first apartment in a converted garage. It was my first homebrew. I siphoned from my primary into my bottling bucket and when I went to bottle instead of opening the spigot I somehow remove the spigot...I do not remember how I did not stick my hand in the bucket and remove the nut and seal, but I somehow managed it (although I may have been heavily intoxicated), but I just remember the spigot popping off in my hand, the nut and seal floated back into the beer and became unusable and about a gallon of beer emptied from my tabletop onto my kitchen / living room combo floor. I was able to get (I think) primary bucket back under and empty and reseal and re-bottle.

Beer ended up being fine. I remember drinking the whole batch with 3 of my friends.

While treating water for a batch, I accidentally set my electronic scale to ounces instead of grams. I ended up with very salty beer.

I've done the bottling bucket thing several times. I walked away from a 1.200+(~20% abv) brew as the temp was rising from 200F. Needless to say when i returned with the hops i was getting the wort was covering the driveway and candied onto my turkey fryer and pot.

passedpawn said:

Used to float my boil pot in the pool with a pool noodle for chilling. Well, the rain started coming down so I ran outside to get that dang thing out of the pool and found it floating out in the middle of the pool and after some scrambling and cursing I pulled it in with the pool cleaner pole, and consequently got loads of rain and pool water into the beer. Could have ended much worse; no infection resulted.

I got smart (?) later and would hang an IC in there which kept it from floating away. Then I got way smarter and got a plate chiller. (but that was after I broke a full glass carboy in same pool, so I actually think I got dumber before I got smarter... but alas I digress).

Here's a pic from my middle-dumb-days for the picture nazis...

Click to expand...

that's not dumb that's brilliant.

While racking I was starting the auto-siphon and the tube came up out of the container that I was racking to. As I pushed the auto-siphon back down the tube did not re-enter said container. I didn't realize that I was getting beer all over the floor until my socks were wet.

During my last brew day I put my wort chiller into the pot and started talking to my neighbor. When I came back, one of the clasps had come loose and I was getting hose water in my wort. It turned out ok.

I agree Genius...Maybe were just in our "Dumb Faze" and its really not that cool...Im going to have my friend try this. haha

sportscrazed2 said:

that's not dumb that's brilliant.

Click to expand...

had some Friends over to do 2 batches a couple weeks back. I had some extra smack packs on hand and somehow one of the fermenters got a whole extra pack pitched (don't ask ) apparently the airlock got clogged up with erupting hop goo, came home the next day to find the lid blew completely off and goo all over the ceiling and walls.

My wife was helping me to bottle and I had a 5 gallon bucket of sanitizer sitting on the counter, that she had dunked her hands in to sanitize them. After she did that, I had moved the bucket of sanitizer elsewhere and put the bucket of beer ready to be bottled in its place, well she had done something and decided she needed to sanitize her hands again, so she dipped her hands in my beer not knowing it was there and thinking it was sanitizer. The beer turned out great. But she has been to scared to help with bottling since then.

The stupidest thing I have ever done that is brew related is read this thread.



































BaWHAHHAHHHHAAHABWAHHAHA!

passedpawn said:

Used to float my boil pot in the pool with a pool noodle for chilling. Well, the rain started coming down so I ran outside to get that dang thing out of the pool and found it floating out in the middle of the pool and after some scrambling and cursing I pulled it in with the pool cleaner pole, and consequently got loads of rain and pool water into the beer. Could have ended much worse; no infection resulted.

I got smart (?) later and would hang an IC in there which kept it from floating away. Then I got way smarter and got a plate chiller. (but that was after I broke a full glass carboy in same pool, so I actually think I got dumber before I got smarter... but alas I digress).

Here's a pic from my middle-dumb-days for the picture nazis...

Click to expand...

!!!! I can't decide if it's genius, or totally insane!

The stupidest thing I've done so far is put an airlock instead of a blowoff tube on a belgian dubbel that I was fermenting in my kitchen. The airlock clogged and blew out, spewing krausen all over my kitchen wall and blinds.





My wife, who was a good sport about it, called me at work and said "do you know what I'm looking at right now"? When I answered no, she said "beer all over my kitchen". Needless to say I a) use a blowoff tube now and b) ferment in the garage...

P.S. Miniblinds are not fun to clean. Avoid having to do so all costs!!

Gave away a bunch of swing top bottles because I didn't think I would like em...... Either that or dropping my chiller into the boiling wort with the hose laying by my foot...scalding hot water down in my shoe.

My smoothest move was when I was bottling once. When we bottle, my daughter handles the filling and I do the capping. I tell her not to worry about a little foam over since it makes sure the bottles are filled to the proper level and we have a towel laid down (no dishwasher) to catch any drips. Consequently, most of the bottles are a bit wet when I cap them.

So, I'm capping away, putting the dripping bottles into a CARDBOARD box. I wasn't thinking about what all that beer dripping off the bottles would do to the bottom of the box. I was informed after I picked up the box of freshly filled and capped bottles and the bottom gave out.

Since then I've started using plastic filing crates for my bottles.

Last week I was cleaning carboys after kegging two lagers. I have a keg/carboy washer with a fairly high flow pump in it and LOTs of holes int he spray arm. After removing the first carboy I got distracted by cooking dinner. When I got a break I realized that my carboy washer in the dining room wasn't plugged in, so I grabber the extension cord and put it in the outlet. I instantly realized that the next carboy was sitting there on the floor next to me when I didn't hear the typical sound of hot oxyclean hitting the inside of the carboy. I walked out to find the whole dining room had been sprayed down with oxyclean, trub and yeast.

I love this thread. I have no doubt that I will soon make my own contributions!

A little while ago I acquired 2 sanke kegs, and due to the excitement i took an early lunch went home and decided i would open them and start the oxi soak. They had been laying around for years one was about half way full of beer. I ended up getting the smart idea of pushing the ball lock in to de-pressurize it. Rotten stinky beer spews out under pressure and lands right on my face and body, I instantly start vomiting.

Sadly this idiotic story is not over. I stop vomiting and decide to hose off a bit and give it another go. This time I get a long bar and think if I push the ball lock again from a bit of a distance I will be fine. So I proceed to do this, and yet again get sprayed with rotten beer, and proceed to vomit again. I clean up again and realize I can stick a steel bar in the ground flip the keg over and take all the beer out in a separate direction. I ended up taking a shower again during my lunch.

sad stuff indeed.

GodsStepBrother said:

A little while ago I acquired 2 sanke kegs, and due to the excitement i took an early lunch went home and decided i would open them and start the oxi soak. They had been laying around for years one was about half way full of beer. I ended up getting the smart idea of pushing the ball lock in to de-pressurize it. Rotten stinky beer spews out under pressure and lands right on my face and body, I instantly start vomiting.

Sadly this idiotic story is not over. I stop vomiting and decide to hose off a bit and give it another go. This time I get a long bar and think if I push the ball lock again from a bit of a distance I will be fine. So I proceed to do this, and yet again get sprayed with rotten beer, and proceed to vomit again. I clean up again and realize I can stick a steel bar in the ground flip the keg over and take all the beer out in a separate direction. I ended up taking a shower again during my lunch.

sad stuff indeed.

Click to expand...

We have a winner!

^^laughing so hard tears are flowing!

First attempt at brewing years ago. Was starting the siphon from fermenting bucket to bottling bucket. Sucked in a nice mouthful of beer, panicked and spit it into the, yep, bottling bucket. Continued to transfer the beer and bottle. Couple weeks later cracked a nice beer flavored vinegar. drank probably close to a twelver before admitting defeat. Just started brewing again and am looking forward to all the grand screw up I know are coming.

Forgot to dump the starsan out of the keg before racking to it. I had about a half gallon of starsan in there and I didn't realize it until I was almost done racking.

Currently stuck using plastic bottles for some of my beer, with screw-on caps. Had a friend over to help with bottling; I'd fill, he'd screw the caps on.

I didn't realize until the next day when checking my bottles that he apparently has the hand strength of a 5-year old child with broken wrists. So all my bottles didn't have the plastic caps screwed on tight at all... makes me worried that my beer may not carb properly.

But we'll see >_>

OverUnder said:

First attempt at brewing years ago. Was starting the siphon from fermenting bucket to bottling bucket. Sucked in a nice mouthful of beer, panicked and spit it into the, yep, bottling bucket. Continued to transfer the beer and bottle. Couple weeks later cracked a nice beer flavored vinegar. drank probably close to a twelver before admitting defeat. Just started brewing again and am looking forward to all the grand screw up I know are coming.

Click to expand...

When you make 5 gallons of malt vinegar, you don't have to admit defeat.

Just go out and buy 100 lbs of french fries and fish sticks.

Here's a stupid mistake I've made several times: Since I can't fit a pot or carboy in my sink, I usually put them on the floor, then put a pitcher in the sink and fill it up with sink water. From there, I autosiphon the water from the pitcher into the carboy and let the sink water continue to go into the pitcher to keep a steady flow going while I'm siphoning. Problem is, I like to walk away when I'm doing this and get distracted, sometimes letting gallons and gallons of sink water just pour out onto the floor as the carboy overflows! I even had an issue once where I really forgot about it and the water on the floor started leaking through my neighbor's roof!

I told my wife brewing would be cheap. 4 years, 20 kegs, a keezer, and a Brew-Magic later.....

She says I lied!

Back in my extract days, I used to submerge the extract container in hot water so it would be easier to pour. I would do in this our laundry room.

So I start to fill the sink....get distracted...leave the room and go about other chores, heating water yada yada.

bout 10 mins later it hits me, I left the water running. Flooded the laundry room with about 1/2 inch of water.

SWMBO was pissed. But she got over it and actually named the offending beer after the warped hard wood floor in the hall next to the laundry room.....Buckled Wood

I think I moved to AG right after that

Valcarde said:

Currently stuck using plastic bottles for some of my beer, with screw-on caps. Had a friend over to help with bottling; I'd fill, he'd screw the caps on.

I didn't realize until the next day when checking my bottles that he apparently has the hand strength of a 5-year old child with broken wrists. So all my bottles didn't have the plastic caps screwed on tight at all... makes me worried that my beer may not carb properly.

But we'll see >_>

Click to expand...

I am honestly laughing out loud at this one, I get a great mental picture here that I cannot even begin to describe!

I love how the vast majority of these stories involve someone getting distracted.

Anyway, my biggest mistake wasn't really my fault. I was still extract brewing at the time and I hated having to bottle my beers. So instead of investing in a real keg and kegerator, I bought a Party Pig. I thought it would revolutionize how I stored beer. On one particular brew day, everything was going right. I was so proud of myself.

I transferred some beer to the party pig, and starting bottling the rest of the batch. All of a sudden a heard a PSST! noise and felt the back of my head get wet. Apparently after the pressure sack in the party pig completely inflated, the rubber gasket decided to slip and fail. My party pig was spraying beer all over my kitchen and was tumbling around on my kitchen table. AWESOME! Just what I needed. And wait... there is more!

I ended up throwing it outside on the deck and letting it spray until it ran out of beer. I came back to it the next morning and tried to take it apart and depressurize it. Well apparently I didn't depressurize it enough and when I was unscrewing it, the front popped out a little bit. It scared me and I bashed my nose with my fist. That was the last time I use a party pig.

The other day I was pulling a pint and thought that it was flowing a bit fast and a little foamy, I check and sure enough I forgot to lock the nut down on the regulator, the reg slowly creeps up in pressure for whatever reason when I do this, I have beer at 21psi for who knows how many days, I turn down and lock in place at 12psi, I now have 3 kegs flowing foam because of the differential I created. I did not disconnect and de-gas when I figured it out, so I am now enjoying 1/2 inch of beer and 4 1/4 inches of foam in a beer with a head that simply will not quit. A stupid mistake that would already be corrected if I had de-gassed and followed my own advice I have posted on here several times for overcarbed beer.

I am off to get another pint of foam, BRB.....

Once I brewed some beer over at my friends house to teach him how, and left it in his charge. He popped the airlock grommet into the beer and decided to reach in and try to fish it out.

Had just finished cleaning the lines and faucets. Turned the CO2 back on and then and only then did I realize I hadn't reattached the faucets to the shanks. Needless to say homebrew shot across the laundry room in epic proportions.

Boys and girls you learn this lesson only once!

azscoob said:

I am off to get another pint of foam, BRB.....

Click to expand...

I'll be right over!

GodsStepBrother said:

A little while ago I acquired 2 sanke kegs, and due to the excitement i took an early lunch went home and decided i would open them and start the oxi soak. They had been laying around for years one was about half way full of beer. I ended up getting the smart idea of pushing the ball lock in to de-pressurize it. Rotten stinky beer spews out under pressure and lands right on my face and body, I instantly start vomiting.

Sadly this idiotic story is not over. I stop vomiting and decide to hose off a bit and give it another go. This time I get a long bar and think if I push the ball lock again from a bit of a distance I will be fine. So I proceed to do this, and yet again get sprayed with rotten beer, and proceed to vomit again. I clean up again and realize I can stick a steel bar in the ground flip the keg over and take all the beer out in a separate direction. I ended up taking a shower again during my lunch.

sad stuff indeed.

Click to expand...

That is so very awesome.