You know you're a home brewer when?

[fuzzy2133]

You can not get a good hydro sample for FG thanks to all the dryhops.

And

You might have gotten a contact drunk (or high) cleaning that fermentor.

 

[unionrdr]

When you find the bloop bloop of the blow off jar soothing after an early morning doctor run...

 

[poptarts]

when you are sick of hearing about uniondr and his book and doctor visits.

 

[unionrdr]

Hey, it's about all I got...old guy stuff. I like writing, which many don't get into, I get that. Guess I could back off a lil. Just hacked that old guy pains get in the way of brewing stuff. Gotta get it off my chest sometimes, after being in constant pain for 10 years.

 

[joshesmusica]

Hey, it's about all I got...old guy stuff. I like writing, which many don't get into, I get that. Guess I could back off a lil. Just hacked that old guy pains get in the way of brewing stuff. Gotta get it off my chest sometimes, after being in constant pain for 10 years.

Meh, no need to apologize, and no need to worry about the haters. They're off in other threads blabbing about themselves too. We are all a bunch of egotistical people on here. Don't let them bring you down. Just keep doing you and all your old man, partial mash lost styles, sci-for writing stuff.

 

[MattyIce]

When your fridge in the garage looks like this

 

[Tactical-Brewer]

When you hang dry your hop bags in the shower.

 

[joshesmusica]

When you hang dry your hop bags in the shower.

I prefer to hang dry it in the "den," outside-living-room in Norwegian. Too much moisture in the bathroom.

 

[fuzzy2133]

You trip the fancy new scanners TSA uses from wiping star san on your pants. At the time I thought it was odd getting a pat down, then when reading byo on the plane when I saw a star san ad and it clicked the sanitizer is unusual for most people to be using phosphates.

 

[dkwolf]

You trip the fancy new scanners TSA uses from wiping star san on your pants. At the time I thought it was odd getting a pat down, then when reading byo on the plane when I saw a star san ad and it clicked the sanitizer is unusual for most people to be using phosphates.

Try responding to a fully engulfed car fire 30 minutes before you need to leave for the airport, and then seeing them do the residue tests on people ahead of you in the security line.

Thought for sure I was going to get a TSA colonoscopy that day.

 

[Pkrd]

When you find the bloop bloop of the blow off jar soothing after an early morning doctor run...

My chamber is out in the shed. My DIY projects and bike maintenance in there seem to peak during active fermentation.

 

[Onkel_Udo]

Try responding to a fully engulfed car fire 30 minutes before you need to leave for the airport, and then seeing them do the residue tests on people ahead of you in the security line.

Thought for sure I was going to get a TSA colonoscopy that day.

I used to request the full search. Too much GSR on everything I owned when working in Iraq. When they would would be "patching" cary on luggage, I would always warn the insepctor and show them my CC card then request "To avoid all the red lights going one, can we please go straight tot he hand search". the Brit's would comply...the American TSA folks were a mixed bag.

I get randomed 70% of the time anyway.

 

[grrickar]

the most exercise you get on a winter day is packing up all your gear to brew at a friend's house...

 

[fuzzy2133]

Try responding to a fully engulfed car fire 30 minutes before you need to leave for the airport, and then seeing them do the residue tests on people ahead of you in the security line.

Thought for sure I was going to get a TSA colonoscopy that day.

Lol That's a lot of charcoal residue sir... Also a good time to wear your fire department shirt.

 

[The_Bishop]

It doesn't help. Been there and done that.

 

[Azbrewboy77]

The 1st thing I do after poring a brew into a glass ( bought or homebrew ) is hold it up to check color/clarity & 2nd is smell the aroma

 

[Seismogenic]

When you're still comfortable with the temperature in your apartment, and when your (extremely fuzzy) cat also doesn't seem to care that it's warm, but you turn on the air conditioner entirely for the sake of the yeast.

 

[m00ps]

When you're still comfortable with the temperature in your apartment, and when your (extremely fuzzy) cat also doesn't seem to care that it's warm, but you turn on the air conditioner entirely for the sake of the yeast.

My friends with b%^&# about the temperature in my apartment. Every time I ask them if they like drinking free beer. Yes? Then shaddup already

 

[beergolf]

My friends with b%^&# about the temperature in my apartment. Every time I ask them if they like drinking free beer. Yes? Then shaddup already

If you have a wife then changing the temps is a lot more dificult. Luckily I have a big old three story house. Tons of different temp zones. So I do have fermenters all over the house depending on the temp I want. I have a fermentation chamber but often more brews going than will fit in it.

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

When you can remember what beer is on all four taps in your keezer without any labeling whatsoever, but you can't remember what you just read two seconds ago.
To be fair, you can't drink words.

 

[stella_tigre]

If you have a wife then changing the temps is a lot more dificult. Luckily I have a big old three story house. Tons of different temp zones. So I do have fermenters all over the house depending on the temp I want. I have a fermentation chamber but often more brews going than will fit in it.

Harumph. In this house "wife" is the one wondering if we can turn the temp down... However we also are lucky to have several good zones in our house...

 

[mongoose33]

When you find the bloop bloop of the blow off jar soothing after an early morning doctor run...

Hey! That's my ringtone on my cellphone.

I guess that's my contribution to this thread: "When your ringtone is 'bloop, bloop.'"

 

[GrogNerd]

when this pops up in your FB timeline and your first thought is "is mannoheptulose fermentable?"

then you spend the next 20 minutes researching

Mannoheptulose is a hexokinase inhibitor. It is a heptose, a monosaccharide with seven carbon atoms. By blocking the enzyme hexokinase, it prevents glucose phosphorylation. As a result, the breakdown of glucose is inhibited

become disillusioned and think, "probably not"

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

When you finally kick your first keg of homebrew and become more emotionally confused than you ever have been in your life. Should I be happy, sad, reflective, angry? I didn't even get a picture of the crystal clear Pilsner goodness before it went.
...and you have a pint of something else in memoriam

Also, when the correlation between urinating and head retention make perfect sense

 

[CJ-3]

When you are in a local bar and see the waitress-server-bartender throwing away Sam Adams bottles and you think "man I could use those" so you go ask if you can have all the empties.

 

[william_shakes_beer]

When you stop ordering beer with dinner at restaurants because you keep getting disappointed.

 

[zmanzorro]

When you stop ordering beer with dinner at restaurants because you keep getting disappointed.

You're going to the wrong restaurants then, lol.

 

[SevenOaks]

You're going to the wrong restaurants then, lol.

There are no restaurants that serve my home brew. I am frequently disappointed as well.

 

[WilliamSlayer]

There are no restaurants that serve my home brew. I am frequently disappointed as well.

This happened during my birthday a few months ago. My Brother in law really tried. But, I was disappointed a lot on the bar/restaurant tour we took.

 

[fuzzy2133]

You're going to the wrong restaurants then, lol.

I will agree with you until I finally get dialed into keeping the hoppy beers hoppy for longer than 3 weeks after packaging.