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worst. st Patricks day. Evar!

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I'm just surfing and responding to old posts, so dont mind me.....

But Ha Ha Ha.............I work Security over at a local hospital here in Portland, OR. We have to hold down multiple injured drunks every night while they get catheters. THEY ALWAYS WANT TO FIGHT. We get drunks who....

Fall down stairs

Chop thier fingers off while playing "drinking games"

Think its okay to light thierselves on fire, because someone dared them to, and then fight with EMT's who are trying to save them.

Get drunk and drink thier own urine for recycling purposes (i watched this happen last night, he drank a full urnial of his own piss, like it was a stien of beer)

Males get so drunk that they claim that they are pregnant, and are trying to kill thier baby by giving them fetal alcohol syndrome.

Carve thierselves with a knife "for fun" when they get drunk.

Stick household objects in thier "rear end" (beer bottles, wine bottles) and get them stuck when intoxicated. It was funny watching him walk, and eventually crawl into the ER front doors...........


Man the list goes on. Those are just a few memorable ones from over the last month. So don't feel so bad for just blacking out and bumping your head dude.
 
Ed_Savage said:
I'm just surfing and responding to old posts, so dont mind me.....

But Ha Ha Ha.............I work Security over at a local hospital here in Portland, OR. We have to hold down multiple injured drunks every night while they get catheters. THEY ALWAYS WANT TO FIGHT. We get drunks who....

Fall down stairs

Chop thier fingers off while playing "drinking games"

Think its okay to light thierselves on fire, because someone dared them to, and then fight with EMT's who are trying to save them.

Get drunk and drink thier own urine for recycling purposes (i watched this happen last night, he drank a full urnial of his own piss, like it was a stien of beer)

Males get so drunk that they claim that they are pregnant, and are trying to kill thier baby by giving them fetal alcohol syndrome.

Carve thierselves with a knife "for fun" when they get drunk.

Stick household objects in thier "rear end" (beer bottles, wine bottles) and get them stuck when intoxicated. It was funny watching him walk, and eventually crawl into the ER front doors...........


Man the list goes on. Those are just a few memorable ones from over the last month. So don't feel so bad for just blacking out and bumping your head dude.

I know a woman that works in emergency. I made the mistake of asking her what the worst this that she saw in a human and it was barbed wire up the uretha (spelling?) Rather wished that I had not asked!
 
Hey you'd wanna fight too if some guy you didn't know was trying to shove a garden hose down your peener hole! Ed_Savage, you wouldn't happened to have been at Emmanual after 10 PM on 3/17 would ya? I was the drunk guy in the green shirt :D .... on a stretcher.
 
Why yes I do work there. I was in the E.D. that night, and saw alot of drunk people on stretchers. So I apologise for not remembering you. I worked till 2:30am, so I got to leave right as all of the bars were closing. I didn't get to see all of the good stuff.

We had a serial pooper tonight. He took a crap in almost every floor of the hospital. He did it in very populated and busy areas of the hospital, with ninja like stealth. He even crapped in front of the cafeteria IN FRONT OF PEOPLE EATING. Still nobody spotted him. Then before the end of my shift, somebody spotted him and I followed a poop trail to his room.

GROSS
 
How on earth is someone able to crap that much? I have my morning constitutional, and I'm set for the day! Was it Taco Bell night in the cafeteria or something?

I had a feeling it was a regular parade of drunk ********* in the ER that night. It's usually like that any time there's any sort of holiday where booze is prevalent. Anyways, I was wearing a vomit covered green Tshirt with MAKE 7 on the front, and if someone rolled me over to keep from choking, on the back it says UP YOURS. Oh, and a green hawaiian shirt. I'm a fashion plate, I tells ya, a fashion plate.
 
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