Worst Dumb Mistake You've Made While Drunk?

[martinirish]

- Ran across an highway a few times to get more liquor, and a bass guitar??!!
- Drank and broke a couple of bottles in a public park just a FEW feet away from the police headquarters.
- "Took" 3 fire extinguishers from the campus residences with 2 other friends and had a fire extinguisher battle with them in the near-by woods.
- Got lost between the bar and my friend's house (20 minutes walk), it took roughly 2 1/2 hours, tried to climb a 200ft cliff but we decided not to kill ourself that way so we walked across a cemetery and got lost again.
When we finally found our way out, my friend jumped over the fence but lost is glasses. We spent half an hour seaching for them in the darkness of the cemetery but never found the glasses The next day he couldn't remember where he lost them!
- Crossed a very strong river on the ~1km (0.6 mile) train brige, which had no fence and was not very large.

There's many more I can't remember well.

 

[Chipman]

Dialing THAT number

I know it's not so interesting but oh man we've all been there

 

[DeathBrewer]

Funniest part was me having to explain the mark on my neck (which looked exactly like a huge hickey) to my family at my birthday lunch the next day. My older brother and sister had been at the party, and spent most of the night shaking fingers and saying no... So this explanation to my parents was the only suitable payback. My mother's look of horror was pretty hilarious, but it was bested by the pat on my back as my dad said he probably woulda done the same thing. Figures...

That's hilarious. There were some kids in my high school that decided to toilet paper a teachers house one night. Yeah...poor, bored kids. He opened the door and turned on the light and they all booked. Two of them caught their necks on an actual clothesline as they ran. They got away that night but the teach saw what happened and knew what to look for the next day.

 

[Ashz]

Probably the STUPIDEST thing I ever did was at about 19 or 20 out camping in upstate NY. Proceeded to get STUPID drunk off cheap tequila and rolling rock of all things. Decided that it was a great idea to jump the fence (and razor wire) that surrounded the largest radio tower for many many miles. To this day I don't know how myself and my friend didn't end up earning a Darwin award for that.

Literally could barely walk the next day it was such a physical exertion to climb up and then back down. And the best part is we didn't even make it to the top. We were almost there when about ten cars with lights flashing and sirens going off appeared to be headed in our direction. I was convinced we had set off an alarm and the police were going to be waiting at the bottom. We finally reached the bottom and no cops.

Exhausted we made it back to camp where I showed off my rustic culinary skills by boiling some crayfish in beer bottles with leeks. Tasted like ****. Probably the residual rolling rock.

Stupidity. Don't know how I am still around.

A few years later I repeated the tower climbing on a much smaller tower, but which had a height that would have easily had me hitting with enough force to dislodge all life from my stupid body.

 

[flyboy]

The worst dumb mistake I made while drunk was get on a forum with a bunch of drunks and tell the worst dumb mistakes we made while drunk...oh wait.

 

[beerjunky828]

Leaving my car at my parking spot (3 miles away from my apt) because I wanted to celebrate App State beating Michigan. Upon celebrating decided to run in front of traffic and lie down in the middle of a busy road. Was denied entry into a bar because of my inebreation. Decided to walk 2 miles home from the bar and fell in the middle of an empty parking lot drunk as hell. Cop sees me and asks if I am ok. I proceed to tell him that I am fine, just completely drunk and going to walk home. He lets me walk home bc of the crazy celebration going on in town. I get about a 1/4 mile from my place and some friends pick me up in their car and drive me the rest of the way. I wake up with my front door wide open. And I had to trek the 3 miles to get to work in the morn.

Another time, I fell asleep in my own house on the couch with some guests at ab 12??. I wake up at 3 AM to the Hardcore Heavy Metal music station turned ALL the WAY up with my friends gone and my doors wide open. I was living in a family neighborhood and have a ****** neighbor. Luckily the cops never showed, because I had some other things out that could have gotten me in trouble. Friends, huh?

Too many blackout drunk times to remember.

I have left the oven preheating before and passed out. Luckily there is someone to catch it or I don't get a chance to get food in said oven.

 

[hoppymonkey]

Probably the STUPIDEST thing I ever did was at about 19 or 20 out camping in upstate NY. Proceeded to get STUPID drunk off cheap tequila and rolling rock of all things. Decided that it was a great idea to jump the fence (and razor wire) that surrounded the largest radio tower for many many miles. To this day I don't know how myself and my friend didn't end up earning a Darwin award for that.

Literally could barely walk the next day it was such a physical exertion to climb up and then back down. And the best part is we didn't even make it to the top. We were almost there when about ten cars with lights flashing and sirens going off appeared to be headed in our direction. I was convinced we had set off an alarm and the police were going to be waiting at the bottom. We finally reached the bottom and no cops.

Exhausted we made it back to camp where I showed off my rustic culinary skills by boiling some crayfish in beer bottles with leeks. Tasted like ****. Probably the residual rolling rock.

Stupidity. Don't know how I am still around.

A few years later I repeated the tower climbing on a much smaller tower, but which had a height that would have easily had me hitting with enough force to dislodge all life from my stupid body.

My company does the tower climbing for work.( i've climbed, but never over 250') You are one lucky ^&*)(&*()&!. 10-15 professionals die every year from this and they are sober and wearing harnesses.

 

[ndhoffma]

here are a few:

-Went to a bar near where my freind was going to school. The bar was several miles off campus & I didnt really know my way around there. Got pretty plastered & wandered off from the bar by myself at closing time since I forgot my phone. After a while of wandering (it was pretty cold out), ended up wandering around the ambulance dispatch station inside, and they called a cop to give me a ride back to campus. Surprisingly the cop was pretty nice about it & I didnt get a ticket

-Got back from drinking (& so ive been told), I opened my roommate's suitcase full of clean clothes & proceeded to relieve myslef.

-Took a nap on top of a random 2 story house between parties

 

[danorocks17]

I've had a few crazy nights, especially two weekends ago with my wife's uncle that I don't remember half the night of, but reading all the St. Paddy's day stories got me thinking about my craziest St Patrick's night. this was 2005 and I had just spent the previous semester in Ireland, so I wanted to celebrate it in style. For some reason a lot of my college friends were in town, I think it was spring break and a group of 9 or 10 of us decided to go out in my little southern indiana town. Mind you, we were like the only people going out for it in town. So at first we start off in this nice little bar, and have a few drinks, nothing crazy. then we all decided to go down to the roughest bar in town, the kind of bar you get knifed in for looking at someone the wrong way. this was the bar that you could get cocaine and a ******* outside in the back. It was rough. this bar was having budweiser pitchers for 2 bucks. I was pretty poor back then, so I was all about it. I bought a pitcher for my friend and I, and then he ended up getting his own. so i drank two full pitchers of bud, then we started in on the white russians. I think we had three of those. the nail in the coffin was the shot of jack daniels my friend bought everyone.

so we go outside to smoke and i'm it's taking everything in my power to not fall down. we end up walking back to the car, and just as i turn the corner onto main street a cop drives by, i'm stumbling like crazy. Then I proceed to puke all over the front door of this bird supply store. One of my friends ends up falling into the fountain (sans water) and injures a leg or something. I spent the whole night sitting indian style on my bed with a little waste basket between my legs.

 

[JewBrew]

I respect my beer, I dont abuse is.

 

[JBrady]

Dumbest thing I ever did drinking...Two DUIs in Florida!!!! One at 19 years old and one at 22, I'm just glad I never hurt anyone.

 

[mikeysab]

wow, there's so many I don't know which ones to tell. I'll start with the one my wife will never forget to bring up now and again:
il normally do a shot or two or three, but when we won our division in dart league, someone decided to bring in a bottle of Jameson 1780 (I think). Wel by the time the game was over, most of the team was gone, and the guy refused to open the bottle til we officially won. So me and my two remaining teammates drank the whole bottle. This, paired with drinking magners all night, smoking the devils lettuce and polishing off a bag of booger sugar produced a drunk tank wakeup. Apparently I called a cab, forgot my pin, tried to run from cops and took a swing at one. I was also told I took a leak in the waste paper basket in the ATM vestibule. Landed me two saturdays of community service.

 

[mikeysab]

another time, while driving my moms car (mine was in the shop since I rearended someone the weekend before at a red light. Guy musta been drunker than me cause he proceeded to floor it and run the light, and disappear) so my ex and I get into a huge fight at the bar. I stumble to the car about a mile away at her house, get in the car and she shows up. So I'm driving her back to the bae to ger rid of her and I whack a parked car. Luckily, one of the cops that showed up was out on a date with my ex's best friend the week before, so I narrowly escaped a weekend in lockup. I promptly gave up driving drunk

another time, less than a year after my prior arrest, I fell asleep on the subway and missed my stop. When I finally woke up I had to pee bad and decided to walk to the end of the platform and let loose. Somewhere between walking past the cop-in-a-box and the ten feet past it, I forgot that it was there, so I had to respond to "what are you doing, you just walked right past me" while zippering up. Got a nice ticket for that one. Good thing he didn't search me

 

[mikeysab]

some short ones:

thought it a good idea after blowing 1200 in Scores to try to six pack one of the strippers. She didn't share my enthusiasm.

puked in the 3 inch gap in a sofabed between the back cushions and the sofa. Didn't get a drop on the bed or sofa.

took a running, obliterated jump onto a velcro wall, without the suit.

pissed in the garbage can, the bathtub and the sink on numerous occasions. The toilets much easier

pulled many nooners, but one time told the foreman I had to go to the ER cuz I thought my appendix burst, then saw him at the bar later that day.

got hammered at lunchtime and on the return trip in the elevator with the owner of the hotel we were building, thought it an excellent idea to rip a huge fart at the most silent moment. He didn't enjoy it as much as my fellow construction buddies.

 

[shamrockdoc]

talking about the lack of more oral sex in a relationship and the openmindness to rear entry lovin loudly at our local bar

 

[grolut]

I had a few friends from high school visit during my time at uni and we went on a massive drinking bender at the local pubs. When we got back we decided to watch a movie, we all passed out in the living room and when I woke up, I'd puked all over the sofa and one of my friends (who somehow managed to sleep through it). Still a bit drunk , I went up to my room and went back to bed. Needless to say, they haven't forgotten about it.

Not my proudest moment but I learned my lesson.

 

[BraveSirRobin]

I passed out in a snowbank during a ski jumping tournament. Some stragglers stumbled upon me in the dark and woke me up before the cops did the final once over of the premise otherwise I'd have ended up in the drunk tank.

 

[Chudz]

I was visiting a few friends at their college and we'd been drinking a while when it was decided that we should go meet another friend when his class got out. So we approach the building and enter to quiet, carpeted halls. While we're waiting, I feel the need to pee. Luckily, or unluckily, I notice a nearby potted plant and decided that since the halls are so unpopulated I'll water the local shrubbery. Just as I get the full flow going, freaking class lets out and the halls fill with people.

Ah well, least I didn't get arrested. Heh.

 

[Pick]

What happens in Florida, stays in Florida.

 

[david83]

one nigh at the bar me and 2 buddies were drinking on the house(never a good idea)well after a few mind erasers and several beers and a few chugging contests we decided to drive home but first we decided we needed to piss in some dudes gas tank whom i didnt know but tried to open his locking gas cap with every key in my possesion didnt work.. so we pissed on his box truck hahaha.come to find out i broke his gas cap and he was furious oh well not the worst mistake but a darn funny one.

 

[bad coffee]

Bumper cars in Vegas streets. Hey, the rental wasn't in my name. Neither were the other rentals of the other three players.

I'm really surprised we didn't break anyone.

 

[captianoats]

Not the dumbest, but one of the funniest...

My buddies bachelor party. Fiancee told us we COULD NOT GO TO STRIP CLUBS!!!!! Well, the 6 of us bar hopped for a bit, and once the groom to be was good and sloshed, he insisted we go get ****s in the face. It's his night, we couldn't refuse. Off to the strip club we go.

We get there, find a place to sit and one of the girls plops down on my lap. I got my arm around her talking and our bachelor hands her a dollar and says "I'm not paying you to talk. Shut the **** up and put your tits in his face" Ended up getting a free lap dance out of that one

Well, after awhile, most of the strippers are hanging out with us and getting us drinks on the house. Our man of the hour is passed out face down laying on a sofa. We talk the girls into pulling his shirt up and all signing his back in sharpie. (Thought it would be a fun surprise for the honeymoon) They end up drawing a huge weiner on his back, signed him, and wrote a nice note to the fiancee about his night.

Then he wakes up... jumps on stage.... he starts stripping..... Girls take this as a cue, bend him over and start hitting him with a paddle. Now the bouncers get involved, trying to get his drunk butt back on the sofa. He turns around and accidentally knocks a bouncer off stage. In seconds our entire crew gets tackled, beat, and literally thrown out of the club.


The best part: He remembers none of this. We don't tell him the next day at the wedding. Needless to say, he didn't get laid the first night of his marriage. We're bad friends

 

[Jughead]

^^^That is probably the funniest story I've read on this thread. This is a prime example why you should never, ever have a bachelor party close to your wedding. This reminds me of all the bachelor party antics I've been a part of and blocked from my memory.
Case in point....

My buddies fiance (who I've known since kindergarten) did the "no strip club" thing leading up to the bachelor party (1 week before the wedding). So being the ****** bags we are, promised the bride "absolutely no strip clubs". Well another buddy, who has a large living room, suggested we do the in-call stripper thing out of one of the local skin mags. He's like "I've got some brass pipe and a tarp!" I knew this would be bad, but agreed to front the $$$ if and when our lame friends cheaped out. My buddy does the planning, big mistake. The night of the event, groom has no clue, tell him to meet at the house. Strippers are running late, the planning buddies running around the party showing everyone the pic of the girls he ordered, "this is them, these chicks are coming". We tried explaining that was B.S. they would be nasty cracked out fatties. Doorbell rings, We were right,at the door, one crispy critter, one mother of five with a nice zebra pattern of stretch-marks going on. They need to use the bathroom to get "ready", later I found their crack-rock remnants on the floor. Yada yada yada,ice gets shot across the room out of places I'm still trying to figure out, video is secretly recording the whole time, and a BUNCH of our buddies did things they would never admit under the worst torture. We watched that video about a year ago,(this happened 6 yrs ago) I knew the video was going, not that I would have done anything anyways, but man, oh man do I have great blackmail material if ever needed.:rockin:

 

[natebomb]

Might be the Canadian, (Maritimer), in me, but you guys are pretty tame....

 

[Frankfurtvr4]

Well im at work right now and dont have much going on because it is a nice night here so...

While in Germany a few years back woke up on the deck face down in snow while I was ummmmm naked. Dont remember how I got there either. Was drinking with a few people in the hotel bar after the bar closed they opened up some amazing wine and then it went downhill from there...im still wondering to this day how I was naked...

The exact same thing happend to me! Was it Bamberg? I woke up with no pants sleeping under a bush about five blocks from the gate missing a shoe on one foot and a sock on the other. I figured my bare foot got cold so I took the sock off the other to help. I ended up finding a cardboard box that I put on to get back to base. My wallet was in my jacket thank god so the gate guards let me by.

That must have been a great night.

 

[bosunbrew]

First night in Alaska... drank way too many shots and jaeger bombs. I was living on a ship at the time. So I'm walking back towards the ship with my friend and his girlfriend. They stop at their house, which is on the walk home. Little did they know that, although I seemed very alert, inside I was really... blacked out? Well, I regained consciousness real quick after they had gone into their house... what house was that, anyways? And then I started getting paranoid, I didn't know where the **** I was and it was Alaska and I was getting cold, **** I am lost and ****ed up. So, I find what I remember to be my friends car, and the doors are unlocked. I crawl in and pass out.
In the bright morning light I wake up in my underwear with a garbage bag over me for a blanket. I find my pants, get dressed, quickly look out the windows, and jump out of the car and walk the easy half-mile back to the ship. My friend from the night before is onboard already, and he asks where I slept, thinking I might have got lucky or something. I say, "I slept in your car." He says, "No you didn't, my car was parked 5 miles away." Oh ****, I slept in some random strangers car. I kept thinking of if things had gone the wrong way, and I had to wake up with a gun in my face from some angry logger. Well, that was just one special night, and needless to say I didn't learn my lesson.

 

[bosunbrew]

didn't realize I had to clean up my language on the above post!

 

[TxBrew]

Passing out on my back after a night of way too much drinking Jager. Then waking up choking on my vomit. Fun times.

 

[ak40kush]

maybe to cover my ass but my friends and I tend to do really stupid and illegal things. but its damn good fun, just the way things are up here in the gret white north.

the most recent thing is pretty tame but i found it pretty funny.. so I am back from college and the highschool kids are having a prom party. my mates and one of their younger brothers come with (there are 4 of us) and I am pretty damn drunk by the time we start walking. its about a 3km walk to the party...up hill. on the way there are 2 cruisers slowly taling us and they stop us and start interrogating my friends brother he is 16 i think. after lying to the pigs for a few min they dump his beer and collect all our id's he gets ticketed and the 3 of us are good to go still (apparently I was giving the pigs a hard time though) we get to the party and im tanked. I had some really strange converstaions with random people i dont know. I stumble home without my mates knowing. I make it home. wake up. road rash all on my knee, left bicep and shoulder some on my elbow and a bit on my face.. what the hell did I do?? I get a text from my friend (the one with the brother who got the ticket) and he got sucker punched and fell hit his head off of a car bumper and was out for like 15 min. he had to get stitches in his eyebrow. the thing about this is that he is a tough mf. and we always watch ouf for eachother, I still feel bad about this cause if i were there I woulda knocked some teeth in on the guy that hit him.

 

[509inc]

Took a piss test and failed for alcohol. cost me 24 hours in jail.