Wife broke my hydrometer....

[Otis The Drunk]

OK, here is what you do.....
First, unscrew the light bulb in the bathroom.
Next, Put Vaseline on the inside door knob of the bathroom.
Next, put Plastic Wrap over the toilet bowl.
Next put shaving cream on the toilet seat.

Now when she goes into the bathroom she will try to turn on the light, then she'll figure that the bulb is burned out, then she will set down to do her business. If she has been drinking heavy she won't notice the shaving cream.
You know what the plastic wrap will do...
What will freak her is the Vaseline on the doorknob because she won't be able to get out of thew bathroom.... Just imagine having to open the bathroom door and her having her pants, under ware around her knees and shaving cream all over her bottom.

I pulled this one off on someone when I was 12 years old, and it was funny as hell .... not to mention cruel.

Of course it may be a marriage ender.

 

[bull8042]

My wife just turned 22 in August. I turned 28 yesterday.

Yes... I realize that when I was a freshman in college she was 12.

I am 42, and my wife is 29 so let's not talk about ages while I was in college.
Of course, we didn't meet until several years later, so I don't want to hear any crap about being a perv or anything!

 

[Fingers]

Urinate in her sewing basket!

 

[noremorse1]

I am 42, and my wife is 29 so let's not talk about ages while I was in college.

I bow to you.










/perv

 

[scinerd3000]

anyone remember THIS thread of domestic bliss?

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f13/salt-my-beer-lots-any-hope-68783/

haha long ago.

You could "mistakenly" place all her socks in the freezer.....

 

[scinerd3000]

OK, here is what you do.....
First, unscrew the light bulb in the bathroom.
Next, Put Vaseline on the inside door knob of the bathroom.
Next, put Plastic Wrap over the toilet bowl.
Next put shaving cream on the toilet seat.

Now when she goes into the bathroom she will try to turn on the light, then she'll figure that the bulb is burned out, then she will set down to do her business. If she has been drinking heavy she won't notice the shaving cream.
You know what the plastic wrap will do...
What will freak her is the Vaseline on the doorknob because she won't be able to get out of thew bathroom.... Just imagine having to open the bathroom door and her having her pants, under ware around her knees and shaving cream all over her bottom.

I pulled this one off on someone when I was 12 years old, and it was funny as hell .... not to mention cruel.

Of course it may be a marriage ender.

dude your godly....both my testicals would be someplace across the room or gliding on the tip of her shoe as shes kicking me if i ever pulled something like this. The ladies must love you

 

[NikolausXX]

I was worried today, when the wife called me and asked me how to move the carboys so the furnace inspector could do his job! Seems like everything is ok.

 

[noremorse1]

I was worried today, when the wife called me and asked me how to move the carboys so the furnace inspector could do his job! Seems like everything is ok.

Just be glad she called and didn't drag then in front of a window or something.

 

[EvilTOJ]

Tell her you have to buy a nalgene hydrometer now, since those are unbreakable. They are rather pricey though....

 

[mr_goodwrench]

So, I googled nalgene hydrometer since this was the first I had heard of such an animal. This was the first site I came to. Imagine my surprise when I added it to the cart to see what the price was and it came to $813!!! Then I realised it was per case...

 

[bad coffee]

just man up and buy another one. She apologized. Isn't your money her money too?

B

 

[bull8042]

I bow to you.










/perv

Hahaha! Funny how often I get that. But what many guys seem to forget is really just how freakin' hard it is to train one of them from scratch!
If you get one with a few miles on the odometer, then someone else has already struggled through the hard stuff.... Know what I mean?

You may rise now my son.

 

[noremorse1]

Hahaha! Funny how often I get that. But what many guys seem to forget is really just how freakin' hard it is to train one of them from scratch!
If you get one with a few miles on the odometer, then someone else has already struggled through the hard stuff.... Know what I mean?

You may rise now my son.

Know what you mean? Hell yes I do. I met my wife when I was 26... she was just turning 20.

 

[mthompson]

Here's my suggestion.....

Unscrew the shower head and put a few unwrapped jolly ranchers in there, and replace. The hot water melts a bit of the ranchers, and thus deposits a slight stickyness onto her after the final rinse. She will notice the stickyness later during the day with clothes on, and her first thought will be to get home and shower ASAP....and the cycle will continue for a few days.

All you gotta do is shower without the head for a few days, sit back and string her along in whatever ways present themselves.....'gee honey, I have showered twice and nothing strange??? I'll see what I can find....." - all while drinking some beers and playing your part as diagnostic plumber.

 

[brwbier]

Take her out to dinner and be as nice to her as possible. Tell her you know it was an accident. She will feel guilty and reward you with a ....well you know.

 

[bull8042]

Take her out to dinner and be as nice to her as possible. Tell her you know it was an accident. She will feel guilty and reward you with a ....well you know.

Yeah, right! You've never been married have you? Or you are a chick.....

 

[MoRoToRiUm]

Yeah, right! You've never been married have you? Or you are a chick.....

Not a chick- She seemed to have felt bad, so why start a fight with foolish pranks? I'm not saying take her out to dinner etc, but definitely a justifiable replacement hydrometer and something else (since you're ordering .

 

[Grimsawyer]

....Despite my telling her never to touch my home brew stuff unless it is to pull a pint off the kegerator, she likes to put my stuff "away" as she calls it. In reality it is a combination of where they do not go and hiding them...

Is it just me or are swmbo's completely psychotic, evil and revengeful for reasons unknown when it comes to where things go when they are put away? There are reasons I put stuff at the front of a cabnet... BECAUSE I USE IT MORE!!! But nooo.... It dosn't fit there as well as it does HERE!! in the back of the cupboard, where you have to take EVERYTHING out to get to it, nevermind that you NEVER use anything in front of it, or does she! SWMBO'S... Anyone else have theirs' come in mid brew and start putting stuff away, even if you havn't used it yet? Takes a cattle prod to keep her away some times...