Why I hate SWMBO

[Evan!]

I'm not sure what's funnier - the fact that you are assuming that these men have married women who don't like beer, or that you are assuming that by far most of these brewers are, in fact, men.

I think on both counts you will find yourself mistaken.

To be fair...I would put my life savings down on a bet that the majority of homebrewers are men.

 

[the_bird]

I love it when my wife plays SWMBO.

Does she dress up like Yooper's avatar?

 

[BrewWench]

That's why I threw in "by far" ;c ) I'm continually pleasantly surprised by how many women are on this forum!

 

[slim chillingsworth]

Ok, now that we've got 25 arguments against mine I'll respond.


I completely understand that the term is tongue in cheek. Everyone who says I take the term too seriously is equally guilty of taking my post too seriously. But what I'm talking about is a general attitude that I find common among men with ANY hobby, which is that their women are into opposition to it to a point that seems unreasonable of anyone who should be understanding.

I was using the term SWMBO as a jumping off point for my rant about a buddy's girlfriend, and then tried to bring it back home because of how often people on here start a sentence with "I just have to convince SWMBO..."

The only post that even leaned towards agreement with me hit the nail on the head:

Personally, I think She Who Must Be Obeyed is a silly term. I never use it, and consider it condescending. .

 

[Desert_Sky]

can't help you out bud, my wife starts bitching as soon as the keg runs dry.

 

[Beerthoven]

When wives and girlfriends complain about their mans hobby, it usually means that the man pays too much attention to the hobby, only talks about the hobby, and is basically obsessed to the point where he doesn't take an interest in anything the woman has to say.

My wife makes candles as a hobby. If all she ever did was spend money on candle making, talk about candle making, make candles, and burn 15 candles every night, I would probably complain about it too.

Unless, of course, she's playing SWMBO and dripping hot candle wax on ... well, lets not go there.

 

[slim chillingsworth]

You ... take any veiled affront to what you perceive to be the "perfect relationship" as unfathomable. Yawn.

Evan!

Although your argument was a childishly dismissive overreaction to my OP, you hit on at least an angle of my frustrations with the term, even if your assessment was completely incorrect.

I think too many people buy into this force-fed "men are from mars, women are from venus" bull**** and think guys should like steaks and sports and women should like shopping and vanity. It becomes so ingrained into our heads that we think its perfectly normal that most women "don't like beer" rather than thinking that most women don't give themselves a chance to acquire a taste for it, which most people have to do. Most people I know have had to overcome a dislike for beer as an adolescent to get where they are today.

So that's where I'm coming from, also.

 

[Alamo_Beer]

http://www.terifahrendorf.com/pink-boots-society.htm

 

[jmulligan]

Take home message:

Slim's friend is married to a wench (no offense BrewWench!).

Most brewers on HBT have awesome significant others that support our habit(s). Slim, be happy you're among those numbers.

And Beerthoven made me want to go buy some candles.

 

[jmulligan]

http://www.terifahrendorf.com/pink-boots-society.htm

Awesome. Although I could do without the Pepto-colored boots.

 

[the_bird]

And Beerthoven made me want to go buy some candles.

For post 500, we hope...

 

[BrewWench]

But what I'm talking about is a general attitude that I find common among men with ANY hobby, which is that their women are into opposition to it to a point that seems unreasonable of anyone who should be understanding.

You need to find some less spineless friends.

Really, any guy who marries a chick like that, in my experience, is extremely superficial and views her appearance and upkeep as maximally important. Just don't marry someone for whom vanity is important! End of story.

It's not our fault that some men choose crappy wives.

 

[slim chillingsworth]

Sorry this is one other post I need to respond to directly.

I'm not sure what's more sexist - the fact that you are assuming that these men have married women who don't like beer

I'm talking about the ones that have, not assuming that it is always the case

that you are assuming that by far most of these brewers are, in fact, men,

I think it would be safe to say that almost every single brewer on this board who uses the term SWMBO is a man, except for BY FAR the minority lesbian brewer population.

OR that you are extending your knowledge of your friend's wife to all other women, thereby stereotyping all women as being shrewish, unsupportive harpies, like this "one girl you know".

Again, I'm talking about the ones who ARE, and expressing my disbelief that men would allow themselves to be subjected to disapproval by someone they love over something they are passionate.

 

[slim chillingsworth]

You need to find some less spineless friends.

Really, any guy who marries a chick like that, in my experience, is extremely superficial and views her appearance and upkeep as maximally important. Just don't marry someone for whom vanity is important! End of story.

It's not our fault that some men choose crappy wives.

I never said these were my friends, and I agree that a large part of the problem is vanity. And why are you taking my rant personally that you feel you need to personally defend yourself and claim it's not your fault?

 

[McKBrew]

When wives and girlfriends complain about their mans hobby, it usually means that the man pays too much attention to the hobby, only talks about the hobby, and is basically obsessed to the point where he doesn't take an interest in anything the woman has to say.

Sometimes I think I'm guilty of that. It's difficult for me not to spend much of my time thinking about beer. I usually get a some guff from my wife about brewing. Considering that she can't stand the smell of beer, grew up with an alcoholic mother, who neglected her to the point that some bad things happened and yet she still allows me to brew/drink beer says a lot for her character and I am willing to deal with the occasional argument and try to limit my discussions of beer in order to keep doing what I like and keep her happy.

 

[BrewWench]

I think too many people buy into this force-fed "men are from mars, women are from venus" bull**** and think guys should like steaks and sports and women should like shopping and vanity.

Ooops, this is what I meant to quote. Your friends are simply marrying women who are superficial and are not looking past stereotypes - I see it all the time, and I know what you mean, but no one is falling into this stereotype more than your buds who apparently thought it was OK to marry women who don't support their hobbies.

Alamo - you mean I get to brew beer AND wear pink boots!!! OMG this rocks.

 

[Moonshae]

My wife doesn't like the taste of beer, and she won't drink it. I don't really care; more for me. I brew my beer, and incur those expenses, which are generally less than buying the same amount of craft beer, and she can buy her $75 bottles of tequila, and neither of us complain about the other. I'll pour myself a beer then pour her a shot, and we drink together, each with something we like.

Just because she doesn't like it herself doesn't automatically mean she's unsupportive of me brewing and drinking my product.

 

[BrewWench]

And why are you taking my rant personally that you feel you need to personally defend yourself and claim it's not your fault?

Oh, I definitely take stereotypes against women personally.

And personally I find your use of SWMBO much more offensive, because you don't appear to mean it as a joke. Even if MrFebtober and I didn't share the same hobbies, we still love hearing about the others' - there's very little "minding your own business" in a marriage.

 

[slim chillingsworth]

no one is falling into this stereotype more than your buds

I repeat, I'm not talking about my friends.

 

[slim chillingsworth]

And personally I find your use of SWMBO much more offensive, because you don't appear to mean it as a joke.

You need to learn to read. Go back and look at the OP.

 

[EdWort]

can't help you out bud, my wife starts bitching as soon as the keg runs dry.

+1 Yep. In my house it's "Is the Haus Ale ready yet?" or "The Apfelwein Keg needs changing again".

I am a lucky man! :cross:

 

[McKBrew]

Damn, some people are in the mood to argue today.

 

[eschatz]

This thread is borderline amusing.

this thread is hilarious. most brewers are men, in any sane persons assumption. and most spouses are going to respect the things that make their better half happy. exceptions to the rule are always lurking around corners but they cant be held as the model for all standards.

nothing cracks me up more than when we try to have a serious conversation about something other than beer

 

[blacklab]

Dude, you need to...

 

[adrock]

And personally I find your use of SWMBO much more offensive, because you don't appear to mean it as a joke.

You need to learn to read. Go back and look at the OP.

Wow, dude. I'll second that upon first reading of your OP, it didn't sound like you were using SWMBO in the same tongue-in-cheek fashion as the rest of this community typically does. So I read it again.........nope, still doesn't sound like a joke.

With that in mind, next time you disagree with someone else's synopsis of your poorly worded post, you should probably come up with a more understanding and respectful rebuttal than what you've written above.

And if you don't like Evan!'s "childish dismissal" of your post, maybe you shouldn't have written such an uninformed, infantile OP.

 

[jfrizzell]

I never said these were my friends...

Umm, yeah you did...

...I just spent a few hours drinking at a buddy's house, and his lady couldn't stop putting beer down...

At least where I'm from, buddies are friends...

I repeat, I'm not talking about my friends.

Umm, yeah you are...

You need to learn to read. Go back and look at the OP.

We did, it seems you can't remember what you wrote, or haven't learned to read...

 

[EdWort]

Folks need to chill here. Thread lock in 7....6....5....4....

 

[the_bird]

Sounds like you were deliberately provoking your buddy's g/f, which is kinda immature on its own. It's his problem, anyway - not yours, and not the problem of anyone else here, really. I can recall very, very few people around here who have had truly UNsupporting significant others; they don't all like beer, but they let us do our thing, and most of them make some effort to be supportive. My wife drinks my beer, doesn't mind me talking about it SOMETIMES, lets me put on the Jamil Show on long drives, loves it when I bring beer to show off at parties, and likes going to new pubs with me (even if I can't get her to drink an IPA).

She's not going to start posting here anytime soon, but she doens't mind that I do.

I tend to think my experience is MUCH more common than that you describe.

 

[Jester369]

IB4TL?

I've never been a fan of the whole 'obeyed' thing in relationships, as it implies that one half of the couple makes the rules and the other follows them. That said, I have no problem with the use of SWMBO here - it is almost universally a tongue in cheek label, generally used in a caring way. I'm far too lazy to type it all out, so I just refer to my lady as Red Besides, if she ever thought I was 'obeying' her, she'd probably be annoyed with me.



(p.s. name calling sux)

 

[Dr Vorlauf]

My wife dosent drink. She supports my brewing and buys beer ingredients at the LBHS if she is in the area.

Also I got a kegging kit for fathers day and me and my son did an all grain last week....


My whole family is into it.. just not the drinking part.