What would you send to UPS or some other company you are mad at?

[bscriver]

As I approach a month of waiting for UPS to drop off my brewing salts, I call them up and complain alot. They have decided to give me $150 free shipping I'm going to ask for another $150 two marrow , and they'll give it to me, because they have a catch. Outbound packages from my address only, valid for 90 days. I never have more then a letter or two to send on any given month,so Im pondering a cost effective package to send to the management of ups to burn my credit, cost them money, and show them I don't like them. I was thinking a 20lb box of rocks to a half dozen of the executives. I dont know anyone got a better idea?

 

[scinerd3000]

coal? Or just take a **** in there and let them have it. Although that could be construed as hazardous waste. I like the rocks idea.

 

[Birchgrove77]

I think you have three choices on this, and depending on your mood both are valid.

One, use the credit to distribute excellent local beers to HBT members that can't get those fantastic beers in their location. You'll probably be rewarded two-fold from HBT members with fantastic examples of homebrew and beers that are difficult to impossible to find in your area.

Two, enter every competition you can so you can get some excellent feedback on your own beer. All your friends raving about your IPA, see how it stacks up on the East Coast, West Coast, or even Australia. It seems like shipping samples would be the most cost prohibitive part of entering comps.

Three, brew up a nice UPS Brown (see their marketing did pay off) with as many off the wall adjuncts that are not suppossed to be in beer and send a sixer to each of the corporate executives. Ok..this probably isn't the best idea, but it might make for an interesting thread.

Three,

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

get a large box and send yourself to the CEO of UPS. When he opens it, jump out and yell WATER MELON! In a very loud voice.....Then just go and sit in a corner making a noise like a banana.

 

[Ceedubya]

get a large box and send yourself to the CEO of UPS. When he opens it, jump out and yell WATER MELON! In a very loud voice.....Then just go and sit in a corner making a noise like a banana.

Excactly what noise does a banana make?

 

[Denny's Evil Concoctions]

Send a letter, one word at a time per package, to the CEO outlining your dissatisfaction with their company.

Optional is to write the letter with dog ****, blood or somehting else that is gross.

Anything smelly though might go undelivered. And your message might be consider the act of a nut case if you use any of the above options.

 

[Scooterkdavis]

whats wroung with anthrax???
or an eleven year old mail order bride/groom from Thailand sent to the CEO's home
or the blue ray of Armageddon
or a case of Bud Ice?

 

[FireBrewer]

Step one: cut a hole in the box...

 

[IrregularPulse]

Step one: cut a hole in the box...

BWAHAHAHA

I second sending homebrew to me...I mean members of HBT. No I meant me.

 

[JesseRC]

i would send them sausage casings. I used to work there , I think they are great. I've never had a problem with any electronics or homebrew deliveries. Anyhow, when I was sorting those sausaged casings, man were they nasty, and if they are late getting there they will smell horrible.

 

[The Pol]

Id send them a letter of forgiveness.

They expect you to be mad and be unforgiving, show them forgiveness and they will be truely puzzled.

 

[seanhagerty]

ok..why not thank them for the credits and use them for something constructive, like the comp entries, instead of the 90 day limits ask them to make it a year linit on the credits and you are good to go.

 

[Saccharomyces]

+1 send homebrew.

I'm thirsty.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Send a friend something of value that is broken. Then claim the insurance from UPS. Turn that crappy credit into hard cash!

 

[Beerrific]

Two, enter every competition you can so you can get some excellent feedback on your own beer. All your friends raving about your IPA, see how it stacks up on the East Coast, West Coast, or even Australia. It seems like shipping samples would be the most cost prohibitive part of entering comps.

+1

IMO, it doesn't make much since to send junk, what the hell do they care?

Sam Adams will start accepting entries for this year's Long Shot starting tomorrow. Since there is no entry fee, and you will get to ship for free, you are in an excellent position to get great feedback on you beers for the cost of packaging. I would be entering quite a few beers if I did not have to pay the shipping.

 

[JesseRC]

Help a fellow homebrewer that is having issues with no local HBS.
https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f39/brewing-household-remedies-112778/

 

[Beerthoven]

Why are you dealing with UPS in the first place? You should be dealing with the person/store you bought the brewing salts from. They should be the ones who deal with UPS, not you, and they should already have sent you replacement salts.

 

[conpewter]

Dude where do you live.... I could drop by some packages to send to comps

 

[EvilTOJ]

Id send them a letter of forgiveness.

They expect you to be mad and be unforgiving, show them forgiveness and they will be truely puzzled.

P.S. everyone that's handled or opened this package now has cancerAIDS.

 

[Denny's Evil Concoctions]

Send a friend something of value that is broken. Then claim the insurance from UPS. Turn that crappy credit into hard cash!

I like the way you think! Uhm just make sure you actually check off the insurance box...

 

[babalu87]

ok..why not thank them for the credits and use them for something constructive, like the comp entries, instead of the 90 day limits ask them to make it a year linit on the credits and you are good to go.

Why when you can piss it all away on something that isnt going to get you anywhere

 

[ChickenSoop]

Send them your used fleshlight, because, apparently, UPS likes to screw people.

 

[Clayton]

yuck!!! and desides you may need to keep that

 

[Kronin]

Slightly off topic.... but only slightly.

I regulary take the postage paid envelopes that come in junk mail from credit card companies wanting my business and stuff in them one card from an old christian board game my wife bought from a garage sale... and then mail it back to them.

this is funny on a couple levels because the cards are all rather personal questions, it is a game that is intended to just encourage honest conversation and learn about the other person you are playing with... some of them are pretty funny out of context...

so it wastes their money on postage and their receiveing department staff.. so thats good... plus I can imagine the sad person opening these damn envelopes all day long probably gets a kick out of them, so that is good also.


gotta give credit to the idea from my fav website of all time.....
Junk the junk: how to piss off credit card companies and get away with it.

 

[giligson]

help out a fellow homebrewer in Canada and ship some heavy piece of homebrew supply/equipment out to one of us via global express.


Honestly thought I like the idea of sending out some brew to competitions or to trade with other Homebrewers.

 

[Laurel]

ship me a carboy!

 

[RC0032]

 

[bluehouse]

I would contact anyone selling on ebay that is local to you and offer to give them discount shipping because you have free shipping coming from UPS. You could make some money, they could save some money & everyone could be happy.

 

[DeathBrewer]

Don't worry. They'll find a way to screw you over again.

 

[Denny's Evil Concoctions]

help out a fellow homebrewer in Canada and ship some heavy piece of homebrew supply/equipment out to one of us via global express.


Honestly thought I like the idea of sending out some brew to competitions or to trade with other Homebrewers.

Except the UPS borkerage fee will kill you!

 

[bad coffee]

Slightly off topic.... but only slightly.

I regulary take the postage paid envelopes that come in junk mail from credit card companies wanting my business and stuff in them one card from an old christian board game my wife bought from a garage sale... and then mail it back to them.

You bought the 'un-game?"

I'd send them some lead pellets

one way or the other.


Or you could send something really stupid, big and heavy to yourself. Think about your lawn tractor. Or maybe a full bookshelf...

B

 

[Denny's Evil Concoctions]

You bought the 'un-game?"

I'd send them some lead pellets

one way or the other.


Or you could send something really stupid, big and heavy to yourself. Think about your lawn tractor. Or maybe a full bookshelf...

B

oooh! Send you lawn tractor around the country, getting photos like people do with stolen lawn gnomes!

 

[Laurel]

oooh! Send you lawn tractor around the country, getting photos like people do with stolen lawn gnomes!

You know that's from Amelie, right?

Good film.

 

[Kronin]

The UNGAME damn ya.. that is what is is called... I dont remember

my wife bought it so we could "have an excuse to just talk". blah. that is why i send them away in pre-paid envelopes!

 

[G-E-R-M-A-N]

**** in a box. (preferably with a bow around your turd.)

 

[coldandbitter]

Excactly what noise does a banana make?

It is hard to describe since there are a bunch, but it is a thin sound, somewhat long, and rather appealing. And I hear it is quite common in tropical regions.

 

[slym2none]

I would send them reams & reams of paper, all with the hand-typed phrase "All ads and no rewards make Jack an angry boy", The Shining-style.

 

[Homercidal]

I think his 30 days is up...

 

[slym2none]

What?

What???

 

[Billy-Klubb]

he's only 77 months late!