Warning signs of homebrew addiction

[unionrdr]

when you have 6 kids,a big mortgage,& you're retired. You realize you need more home brew...

 

[dgez]

After dumping in hop pellets, you rub the residual hop powder in the bag on your gums

 

[robh245]

1. You are reclined in a dentist chair and can't stop yourself from wondering how to incorporate the light stand into a 3 tier brewing stand.
2. Your dogs get excited when you pull out the brewing pot.
3. You use no rinse sanitizer to clean your floors.
4. You eat large quantities of pickled vegetables and Apple cider just for the glass jar/jugs.
5. You have two other fridges for your beer.
6. You keep one of the fridges in the 50's to accentuate the malt flavors.
7. You looked into cloning BMC only to realize it is too much work.
8. Your neighbors think you own a still.
9. You have googled "brew too often"
10. You bought a digital microscopic camera just to see how wild yeast look compared to the regulars.

 

[mikeysab]

After dumping in hop pellets, you rub the residual hop powder in the bag on your gums

Love that one.

 

[Kate00]

After dumping in hop pellets, you rub the residual hop powder in the bag on your gums

I've licked the inside of the bags. I dig raw hops.

 

[coypoo]

2. Your dogs get excited when you pull out the brewing pot.

mine do this when they see me carrying buckets of water to the garage

 

[HolidayIF1488]

Instead of wet dreams you have dry hopped dreams.
To see if your woman is ready to go you take consecutive gravity readings.
You hold everything you drink up to the light to check clarity.
You measure your lady's "bitterness" in IBU's.
You don't masturbate when it's too hot to avoid a wet cardboard taste.
When masturbating you swirl like a yeast starter.
When your lady said she had a yeast infection you asked her to save you a slurry.

 

[erikhild59]

After dumping in hop pellets, you rub the residual hop powder in the bag on your gums

Dude that's just wrong...

 

[erikhild59]

Instead of wet dreams you have dry hopped dreams.
To see if your woman is ready to go you take consecutive gravity readings.
You hold everything you drink up to the light to check clarity.
You measure your lady's "bitterness" in IBU's.
You don't masturbate when it's too hot to avoid a wet cardboard taste.
When masturbating you swirl like a yeast starter.
When your lady said she had a yeast infection you asked her to save you a slurry.

Uhhh...wet cardboard taste? Second thought ,don't wanna know.

 

[Reno_eNVy]

Uhhh...wet cardboard taste? Second thought ,don't wanna know.

Flavors associated with oxidation and the mythical HSA.





My sign? I ordered a 20psi propane hose December 30th and it isn't expected to be here until 1/6 - 1/11.... however I still check the parcel tracking app on my phone about once an hour to see how far along it is.

It's also apparently all I can talk about... I have the new kettle, new burner, full propane tank, and recipe ingredients... but no fracking hose!!

 

[erikhild59]

Why would you avoid bad taste in your masturbation? Lol! Bad visual...

 

[LTownLiquorPig]

When we go shopping I wonder the aisles of whatever store we are in looking for new fermentables and buckets/bins to ferment in, or just general tools/items that I could used to brew with.

 

[unionrdr]

When you search youtube for any videos that have anything at all to do with brewing,yeast,etc.

 

[Reaver]

When you sort bottles and stack the "give aways" in a separate pile from the "keepers". Knowing you probably won't get the "give aways" back, so you can have consistent, stable, stock/stack of bottles. And on bottling day... you purposely fill a selection of both...

 

[TyTanium]

Haha, yes! I do the same thing. I'm probably more anal than I should be about that...but a random mix of bottles looks like sloppy moonshine or something. Appearance does make a difference.

 

[Reaver]

You are still doing kits, while collecting parts to go AG, and wondering what the efficiency of your steeped grains is.

 

[unionrdr]

When you get to the point where you know which bottles are hard to cap,or don't fit with the other long necks in the same box,& you weed them out. Then replace them with "good" bottles that all fit together in the same box. I have a growing pile of said bottles & blow off jugs for anyone who wants to come & get'em...

 

[HolidayIF1488]

Why would you avoid bad taste in your masturbation? Lol! Bad visual...

I must be the only one who doesn't masturbate alone. Someones gotta clean up my mess,and why would she do it if it had a wet cardboard taste.

 

[HolidayIF1488]

Haha, yes! I do the same thing. I'm probably more anal than I should be about that...but a random mix of bottles looks like sloppy moonshine or something. Appearance does make a difference.

Yes it does,by far.

 

[cyclogenesis]

When we go shopping I wonder the aisles of whatever store we are in looking for new fermentables and buckets/bins to ferment in, or just general tools/items that I could used to brew with.

Where is the like button on this forum?

 

[mikeysab]

top right hand corner of each post is a thumbs up and a thumbs down. According to some of the posts in this thread recently, I"m thinking there should be a "Thumb up your arse" button too.

 

[2brew1cup]

Yeah we are clearly nearing the "death of the thread".

 

[theDeutscher]

Yeah we are clearly nearing the "death of the thread".

When you fear the end of a home brew forum thread... you might addicted to home brew.

 

[unionrdr]

When everyone is saying "the end is near",& you RDWHAHB!!!

 

[flananuts]

If your beer jumps the shark you might be addicted

 

[DGibb]

If your beer jumps the shark you might be addicted

If you start thinking about what type of beer you would make to fit the name "Jump the Shark" or anything else from the forums...

Blood Orange Weissbier with a hard dry hop finish (it looks like blood, is refreshing for the summer, and has a bite), by the way.

 

[theDeutscher]

When you hear about a party and you get excited, not because you will have fun, but because of the possibility of restoring your non-twist off bottle supply... you might be addicted to home brew.

 

[supe_kitchen]

How about when you are showing off pictures of a fermentation in your carboy to coworkers from your phone like it is your child's first steps.

 

[theDeutscher]

How about when you are showing off pictures of a fermentation in your carboy to coworkers from your phone like it is your child's first steps.

Hahaha! I actually do that, except I tend to send pictures of the boil with the caption "you will be drinking this soon."

 

[2brew1cup]

When your secret santa gets you 20lbs of smoked malt.

 

[jetgorilla]

you buy a STeel conical fermenter before knowing what it is, what it does, or having never brewed a batch of beer because it it was on sale at a local sale for $100.

 

[bkorver]

Hahaha! I actually do that, except I tend to send pictures of the boil with the caption "you will be drinking this soon."

Who doesn't? Right?

 

[hedge_87]

You've instructed your iPhone not to autocorrect the word "wyeast" into "steady".

Would like to know how to do this! Not just for home brew slang but for everyday stuff. The iPhone auto correct messes my life up royaly

 

[hedge_87]

You brew beer at church and your church sponsors homebrew contests. Ask how I know.

How!?!? I'm a united Methodist! Find nothing wrong with brewing/drinking beer. Let me in on this deal

 

[Joppo]

When you name your dog after Westvleteren. Westy is the calling name though.

 

[hedge_87]

when your swhmbo is extremly pissed and went to bed four hours ago because. you decided that you friend getting in trouble with his swhmbo is a worthy reason for you to drink homebrew with him till wee hours in the morning!

 

[downtown3641]

when your swhmbo is extremly pissed and went to bed four hours ago because. you decided that you friend getting in trouble with his swhmbo is a worthy reason for you to drink homebrew with him till wee hours in the morning!

SWHMBO? She who, humbly, must be obeyed?

 

[hedge_87]

SWHMBO? She who, humbly, must be obeyed?

Oops. Like I said we decided to "drink till wee hours in the morning" and I posted right before going to bed. O work is going to be fun today

 

[Grantman1]

Two nights ago I tossed and turned because it was too hot in my bed - swmbo had her electric blanket on. When I woke up I remembered that in my dream I was a fermentation vessel and kept trying to escape the warm temperatures and find a cooler spot for better fermentation.

I think there's something wrong with me. I need to brew immediately.

 

[Scruffy1207]

Two nights ago I tossed and turned because it was too hot in my bed - swmbo had her electric blanket on. When I woke up I remembered that in my dream I was a fermentation vessel and kept trying to escape the warm temperatures and find a cooler spot for better fermentation.

I think there's something wrong with me. I need to brew immediately.

Naww, you sound normal to me. You should brew again though, there can never be too much brewing!