Twilight.....dear GOD....

[Devon]

....*sniff sniff*..did he say that this was comparable to the porch sofa rant?


My work is complete.

So .......how TF do I start a website?

The easiest place to start would be to start a blog and work from there. Google's blogger is a good place to start.

 

[Revvy]

The easiest place to start would be to start a blog and work from there. Google's blogger is a good place to start.

I was thinking the same thing, there are lots of free blog places out there. Blogger, and blogspot are the biggest ones.

 

[cheezydemon3]

I'll link.

 

[Hang Glider]

by the way, cheesy - it's about time you had an avatar -

 

[Airplanedoc]

These things are all really about female fantasy (as in our wives and girlfriends) not about your teenage 9 year old daughters.

 

[cheezydemon3]

by the way, cheesy - it's about time you had an avatar -

These things are all really about female fantasy (as in our wives and girlfriends) not about your teenage 9 year old daughters.

Yeah, I know they didn't make the movie for me to like it. Wait.....what are you saying? a 9 year old isn't a teenager....not to split hairs, but you are saying that only adult women should watch? That is probably valid.

 

[beersteiner2345]

My favorite quote on the matter by Steven King:

"Harry Potter is all about confronting fears, finding inner strength, and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend."

 

[Hang Glider]

My favorite quote on the matter has been attributed to Steven King

there, fixed that for ya!

many sources dispute the origination of that quote. I think there's a thread on that somewhere around here.

Sorry, Cheesy - back to your rant.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I'd like to mention that being a 100+ yr. old virgin with a gf that does exactly nothing in the way of contributing to her own well being makes whatshisass the most nightmarish character in the history of all the things...

 

[JonM]

...

 

[Homercidal]

Wife and Kids watched some Twilight yesterday. I managed to make some banana wine, banana bread, Meatballs and mushroom gravy with mashed potatoes and vegetables and do some dishes.

Oh and watched the Wings between their two movies.

I laughed when I asked my young one if her movie was "sparkly". She proceeded to try and tell me WHY the vampire were sparkly. I had to cut her off to let her know I was making fun of the show. I got the dirty look, so... Mission accomplished!

 

[cheezydemon3]

Daughter is.....how old?


Sorrry!

Your SWMBO OWES you big time.

 

[TxBrew]

Wife and Kids watched some Twilight yesterday. I managed to make some banana wine, banana bread, Meatballs and mushroom gravy with mashed potatoes and vegetables and do some dishes.

Oh and watched the Wings between their two movies.

I laughed when I asked my young one if her movie was "sparkly". She proceeded to try and tell me WHY the vampire were sparkly. I had to cut her off to let her know I was making fun of the show. I got the dirty look, so... Mission accomplished!

I can't wait till my kids are old enough to give them a hard time.

The entire reason I became a parent.

 

[Homercidal]

Youngest is 12 I think.

She got in trouble for asking to help with my brew day, then proceeding to head to her room every chance she could get to read her twilight books. I gave her a speaking to about "helping". She was in a hurry to finish them up because mom said she could watch the movies after she finished the books.

She did apologize and came out and was helpful.

 

[cheezydemon3]

Youngest is 12 I think.

She got in trouble for asking to help with my brew day, then proceeding to head to her room every chance she could get to read her twilight books. I gave her a speaking to about "helping". She was in a hurry to finish them up because mom said she could watch the movies after she finished the books.

She did apologize and came out and was helpful.

Lol. Sounds like a good kid.

Volunteer help offers are not binding BTW.

 

[aiptasia]

Our oldest is likewise obsessed. I just want to shove Necroscope by Brian Lumley into her fingers to show her how scary and depraved vampire stories are in my world, but holy god it's worse than lovecraft. I couldn't live with myself exposing her to that. Plus, it would surely kill the "Magically Sparkly" vampires she goes on romanticizing about.

 

[JonM]

Sparkly vampire: "We think of ourselves as vegetarians because we drink blood of animals."
RiffTrax: "Well then your family is either confused or stupid."

 

[Homercidal]

Our oldest is likewise obsessed. I just want to shove Necroscope by Brian Lumley into her fingers to show her how scary and depraved vampire stories are in my world, but holy god it's worse than lovecraft. I couldn't live with myself exposing her to that. Plus, it would surely kill the "Magically Sparkly" vampires she goes on romanticizing about.

I have read some Lovecraft and have found it entertaining and not the slightest bit scary. Sometimes it's even humorous.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Homer, I'm confused, does helping involve drinking, is that why she was in trouble? Maybe I'm just not adequately caffinated...

 

[aiptasia]

I have read some Lovecraft and have found it entertaining and not the slightest bit scary. Sometimes it's even humorous.

Lovecraft is scary because he leaves everything up to your own imagination. There's no gore, there's no grossness. It's just about as pure and lithe of horror fiction as you can get. He's right up there with E.A. Poe for me.

Now, two overlooked horror authors I also recommend are, the aforementioned Brian Lumly (Necroscope series of books). His vampires are absolutely bad ass and he pulls no punches with their depravity.

My other favorite is the late James Blish. His book called The Devil's Day is demonic and intriguing. Wiki: "(Devils Day), actually two very short novels, Black Easter and The Day After Judgment, was written using the assumption that the ritual magic for summoning demons as described in grimoires actually worked. In that book, a powerful industrialist and arms merchant arranges to call up demons in the midst of a modern world crisis, resulting in nuclear war and the destruction of civilization. Black Easter is devoted to that element of the plot; The Day After Judgment is devoted to exploring the consequences of the destruction of the world, with an extraordinary ending in both narrative and theological terms that should not be given away.

 

[gunner65]

When I was a kid vampires were scary and ate people.....Now they sparkle in the sun and cry over lost love.

 

[Bedlam]

The vampires in "Zero Sight" and "Zero Sum" are fairly unpleasant creatures. Great series.

 

[cheezydemon3]

Homer, I'm confused, does helping involve drinking, is that why she was in trouble? Maybe I'm just not adequately caffinated...

My anger is slightly raised.......have some coffee.

 

[Homercidal]

Homer, I'm confused, does helping involve drinking, is that why she was in trouble? Maybe I'm just not adequately caffinated...

The fact is she volunteered to help and then when I needed her, she was always missing. After the third time I let her know that if she is going to help someone she needs to be there to be helpful.

I gave her the choice to either come out and lend a hand, or stay in her room and finish her book. It was just a way of teaching her that when she tells someone she is going to do something for them that she actually needs to do it. Plus a bit of a guilt trip. That always seems to work on my kids.

She hasn't touched beer since she got a taste of IPA when she was 9. Odd, she doesn't seem to have any desire to try any beer now.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Now I got it. I wonder about myself when it comes to having the sort of patience to teach life lessons to a child. As some of you have picked up, I'm not the most patient guy in the world.

BTW I read somewhere, and this could be total pseudo-science, that by the time we reach our teens our tastebuds have already decreased in number, a process that goes on for the rest of our lives. So basically, a 9 year old is a super-taster, and even a little bitterness tastes vile (thus few 9 year olds I know are big coffee drinkers)...

 

[Homercidal]

Now I got it. I wonder about myself when it comes to having the sort of patience to teach life lessons to a child. As some of you have picked up, I'm not the most patient guy in the world.

BTW I read somewhere, and this could be total pseudo-science, that by the time we reach our teens our tastebuds have already decreased in number, a process that goes on for the rest of our lives. So basically, a 9 year old is a super-taster, and even a little bitterness tastes vile (thus few 9 year olds I know are big coffee drinkers)...

I remember when I was a teenager a coors light was fairly bitter. I also remember when my grandfather gave me a sip of his PBR when I was 4 and I thought it was pretty good...

I guess I was curious to see what she thought.

The funny part was seeing her run to the bathroom with her hands over her mouth, only to realize her sister was in there taking a shower with the door locked! She had to run to the other end of the house to spit it out!

We'll see when she's 14 or so if she wants to try it again...

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Get your hands on some bitter melon. Its seriously the bitterest substance known to man, or at least this man. IPA will be no sweat by the time she's 11.

Not to mention its a cancer-fighting alternative to washing her mouth out with soap if she curses...

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Actually, I just gave myself a brilliantly horrible idea. Has anyone anywhere tried using bitter melon instead of hops for bittering?

 

[TxBrew]

When I was a kid vampires were scary and ate people.....Now they sparkle in the sun and cry over lost love.

Kind of sad it went that direction.

I remember the turn. Thanks Anne Rice! Vampires are tortured souls now.

You can't see the sun? Boohoo. I'm going to die.

I want them to be super humans that eat normal humans because they can and want to.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Anyone remember Kindred the Embraced and the White Wolf world? I'd like to see the Twilight sparklies go up against a Gangrel or even the most super-ethical Brujah.