turning blood into alcohol (this is a serious thread)

[FromZwolle]

How serious can this thread be? The OP has yet to respond.

un-Dead Serious!

 

[Shooter]

Yeah, but you were a closer drive to PA than we were. We had a 2.5 hour round trip to hit Baskin Robbins for ice cream... but we did it.

That is true.

 

[Shooter]

How serious can this thread be? The OP has yet to respond.

He's probably PO'd that we're not taking this seriously, as requested!

As if anyone could take a thread labelled "Turning Blood into Alcohol" seriously!!!

 

[HokieBrewer]

Wonder if you could somehow make a dried extract with the blood?

All-Blood gives you more options. You can make good beer with DBE, but there are some styles that you need the ability to mash for. For instance, gall bladders can't convert themselves.

 

[Revvy]

As if anyone could take a thread labelled "Turning Blood into Alcohol" seriously!!!

The real fred the cat got home from work and caught his son making this thread. That boy is SO grounded.

All-Blood allows gives you more options. You can make good beer with DBE, but there are some styles that you need the ability to mash for. For instance, gall bladders can't convert themselves.

This is the best answer EVAH!!!!!!

 

[FromZwolle]

All-Blood allows gives you more options. You can make good beer with DBE, but there are some styles that you need the ability to mash for. For instance, gall bladders can't convert themselves.

i did the mash. i did the monster mash. my efficiency was dead on, but i used some lbe(liquor blood extract) to up the abv.

 

[ChshreCat]

"I think my blood is infected!"

No, those are just clots. That's completely normal. RDWHAPOON (Relax, don't worry, have a pint of O negative)

 

[Shooter]

Come ON guys, be serious!!!!

 

[jgln]

"I think my blood is infected!"

No, those are just clots. That's completely normal. RDWHAPOON (Relax, don't worry, have a pint of O negative)

Maybe a few ounces of Heparin might do the trick for this recipe?

I should not kid though, I had a blood clot once and my dad is in the hospital right now with a clot in each lung that appears to have come from the clot they found in his leg. He is breathing ok and they expect him to recover.

 

[Special Hops]

random thread of the day

 

[Beernip]

Wouldn't it just be easier to get the animals drunk before you killed them (alcohol toxicity). Their would be so much alcohol in the blood already you don't need to worry about making more or does that defeat the point?

 

[McKBrew]

Jesus turned water into wine.

I'll bet Jesus could turn blood into beer too.
So could Chuck Norris.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Jesus turned water into wine.

I'll bet Jesus could turn blood into beer too.
So could Chuck Norris.

Heathen! Chuck would never do that!

 

[malkore]

True Blood is a cool tv show. True Blood is NOT A REAL BEVERAGE!

AFAIK there's no where near enough sugar in blood (glucose/glycogen) to be worthwhile...not to mention the potential bio-hazzard and the fact that you'd have to use an anti-coagulant to keep it from thickening up.

How I long for the 'how do I make weed beer?' threads.

 

[Edcculus]

Wow, worst idea in the history of ideas. I think we have a troll on our hands.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Wow, worst idea in the history of ideas. I think we have a troll on our hands.

Nope, worst idea was when I tried to shave my neck with a chainsaw. This one is close though.

 

[Airborneguy]

HMMM....

Would you measure it's alcohol content by ABV, ABW, or just go straight to BAC?

 

[McKBrew]

hmmm....

Would you measure it's alcohol content by abv, abw, or just go straight to bac?

lol!
..........

 

[ohad]

get some cow blood.
add beer.
add diced bacon.
put into sausage casing.
throw in the smoker.
eat sausage.
drink beer.
forget crazy vampiric aspirations.

 

[bovineblitz]

wouldnt it coagulate before the fermentation ended?

gross

I think it could work. I'm thinking... either add heparin as an anticoagulant, or use just blood plasma (centrifuge the blood and discard the solids). You'd need a LOT of blood tho.

There's a lot of lipids in blood too... I think centrifuging is the way to go. Halfway thru centrifuging, use a wooden stick to push the fat down, then continue... otherwise the fat will get all the in the way of the plasma and it'll be tough to draw it off.

I wonder if you can buy plasma...

 

[Walker]

You'd need a LOT of blood tho.

I can get you a lot of blood. Just don't ask any questions about where it came from, deal?

 

[arturo7]

What about just using roasted barley?

 

[WildGingerBrewing]

This is a great idea. I'm going try it, but first I'm going to sanatize with urine

 

[bob1852]

maybe the reasons why not are obvious, but if it were boiled to make it inert like wort, and had enough sugar added for an og of around 1.09 + then say wine yeast added would that work? or would it still go off somehow?

noob; everyone knows you use beer yeast for blood. duh. and of course you need a ~2L plasma starter (but consult with Mr. Plasma's calculations first)

 

[Soumor]

Coagulation should be an obstacle. The idea is not totaly freak, but there must be a way to avoid coagulation, maybe a winelike process with ph control could work, but what kind of sugar you think of. There is very low sugars in blood unless the owner was diabetic..

Wish to be a klingon and have a friend how knows the recipe.. lol

 

[Beerrific]

Coagulation should be an obstacle. The idea is not totaly freak...

Really?!? I mean you can add sugar, avoid coagulation, blah, blah, blah, but it does not change the fact that you are DRINKING BLOOD!!

 

[arturo7]

Coagulation?

Instead of campden use coumadin.

 

[KyleWolf]

Ok, I will state from the beginning this is all theoretical, it shouldn't be tried, and I am doing this on a lark.

ok from a science stand point...What you would really want out of the blood when making beer is the serum, that being all of the liquid except the red blood cells (as a scientist...i can not help but play the logic through to the end). The red blood cells you wouldn't want in the beer anyways as they contain large amounts of iron, which would make the beer a horribly metallic bitter. Adding sugars and extract theoretically would work.

There are a ridiculous number of proteins in serum as that is what contains the many immune factors and cytokines. It would be near impossible to get a good clear beer from blood without quite a bit of whirfloc and a long cold crash (someone else recommended it, but I would suggest making it a lager). Not to mention, it wouldn't be red, which kinda takes the fun out of it. Red blood cells could be taken out by multiple methods including a vacuum sealed cold crash, or if you are really rich...a massive centrifuge.

Blood fresh out of the body (baring any health related infections, meaning there is no "normal flora") is sterile and therefore theoretically perfectly fine to use (human blood, not chicken).

The fats would be predominately found in the red blood cells which have already been removed which can somewhat answer the question about blood ruining head retention.

 

[Beernik]

I turned my own blood into alcohol once. I blew a 0.35 after a night of drinking rum and schnapps. Woke up in an ER because my blood wouldn't clot.

Hey, that solves the coagulation problem. You just have to distill until it's 70 proof.

get some cow blood.
add beer.
add diced bacon.
put into sausage casing.
throw in the smoker.
eat sausage.
drink beer.
forget crazy vampiric aspirations.

mmmm. beer fried blood sausages

 

[machinelf]

There's a lot of lipids in blood too... I think centrifuging is the way to go. Halfway thru centrifuging, use a wooden stick to push the fat down, then continue... otherwise the fat will get all the in the way of the plasma and it'll be tough to draw it off.

Hey, give that fat to Yooper to make soap with.

This is the thread ever.