Truisms Too Obvious to Mention... until now of course...

[CreamyGoodness]

:fro:1) Sweaters look great on almost 100% of women.

2) Car alarms should be outlawed.

3) If a package of food has the word "food" written on it... it isnt food.

4) If you try to make a cat into a vegetarian, the cat will either die or run away... and you a blithering twit.

5) The most noble schools of though, isms if you will, are the ones that no longer exist when their goals are met.

6) If someone wishes you a happy holiday, and you dont celebrate that holiday, they were still being nice.

7) Don't eat yellow snow. Don't eat snow of any color. Unless of course you live in Montana. Go ahead and eat white, Montana snow.

8) If you handle a hot pepper with your hands, DONT DO ANYTHING WITH YOUR HANDS OTHER THAN HANDLE THE HOT PEPPER!

9) You never hear someone say "that's just how I was born!" or "I can't help it!" in reference to one of their positive attributes.

10) All non-dessert foods taste better with a gravy or sauce.

Final Bonus Truism) Only the dissatisfied, unhappy, or stressed advance and invent things. Ever see a primitive tribesman in Borneo on National Geographic who wasn't smiling?

:fro:

:fro:

 

[GrogNerd]

Grog’s Rules for Food (which can count as truisms)

#1 – NO FOOD in my food. which means leave out the BERRIES NUTS and TWIGS

#2 – tomatoes are the only fruit that should be cooked

#3 – it’s Carolina-style for pulled pork, Texas for brisket, Memphis for chicken and Kansas City for ribs

#4 – Ketchup is for potatoes, except for mashed or baked

#5 – do NOT get between the fat man and the buffet table. (more of a safety tip than a rule)

#6 – Cheese

#7 – if you’re eating at a restaurant, you can complain about any problems with your food &/or service, but NEVER EVER send YOUR FOOD back to the kitchen

#8 – Arby’s sucks ass

 

[DrunkleJon]

Grog’s Rules for Food (which can count as truisms)

#1 – NO FOOD in my food. which means leave out the BERRIES NUTS and TWIGS

#2 – tomatoes are the only fruit that should be cooked

#3 – it’s Carolina-style for pulled pork, Texas for brisket, Memphis for chicken and Kansas City for ribs

#4 – Ketchup is for potatoes, except for mashed or baked

#5 – do NOT get between the fat man and the buffet table. (more of a safety tip than a rule)

#6 – Cheese

#7 – if you’re eating at a restaurant, you can complain about any problems with your food &/or service, but NEVER EVER send YOUR FOOD back to the kitchen

#8 – Arby’s sucks ass

+1. Though you have to pick a Carolina style. East or West NC, or SC.

 

[GrogNerd]

+1. Though you have to pick a Carolina style. East or West NC, or SC.

my sauce is

3 parts ketchup
2 parts apple cider vinegar
1 part water

+some spices & brown sugar


which one is that?

 

[DrunkleJon]

If I recall correctly, NC East style is the simple Vinegar/hot pepper, West has generous doses of ketchup mixed in and I believe SC has mustard in the mix.

I believ. that makes yours more of a lexington or western NC style. Still delicious though.

 

[GrogNerd]

so good, make ya jump up and smack yer momma

 

[jerrodm]

Grog’s Rules for Food (which can count as truisms)

#1 – NO FOOD in my food. which means leave out the BERRIES NUTS and TWIGS

#2 – tomatoes are the only fruit that should be cooked

#3 – it’s Carolina-style for pulled pork, Texas for brisket, Memphis for chicken and Kansas City for ribs

#4 – Ketchup is for potatoes, except for mashed or baked

#5 – do NOT get between the fat man and the buffet table. (more of a safety tip than a rule)

#6 – Cheese

#7 – if you’re eating at a restaurant, you can complain about any problems with your food &/or service, but NEVER EVER send YOUR FOOD back to the kitchen

#8 – Arby’s sucks ass

In re: #2, you've obviously never tried fried apples. I pity you.

In re: #4, the difference between someone who eats ketchup and someone who doesn't is that one of them has been to a tomato processing plant. My stomach is turning just thinking about it...

The rest are, obviously, all correct. With the exception of #1. I love nuts and berries (esp. wheat berries, malted and crushed and mashed and fermented and in my glass).

 

[dkwolf]

In re: #4, the difference between someone who eats ketchup and someone who doesn't is that one of them has been to a tomato processing plant. My stomach is turning just thinking about it...

Ketchup is for people that don't like the taste of food.

If you need ketchup, you did something wrong.

 

[509inc]

Not sure this fits but...

It is not homemade pie if you used store bought crust.

 

[the_bird]

#10 is completely wrong.

What's the best way to serve a nice steak? Rare/medium-rare, with nothing but a little salt and pepper. Unless you count "cow blood" as a "sauce," keep it simple, dammit!

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Best sauce for a nice steak? Garlic-butter.

 

[509inc]

Best sauce for a nice steak? Garlic-butter.

Is that the same as bearnaise sauce?

 

[GrogNerd]

I love some berries and some nuts (not so keen on twigs), just keep them out of my food

yeah... apple pie, apple fritters, apple turnovers... no thanks. and really? you gonna fry some strawberries or pineapple too? talk about stomach churning

and the ketchup thing means ketchup is for french fries and hash browns. not on burgers or dogs and it's why #3 memphis for chicken because EW... ketchup on chicken is gross

 

[the_bird]

Best sauce for a nice steak? Garlic-butter.

**** no. Naked. Are you a heathen?

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Is that the same as bearnaise sauce?

Bearnaise is a but different. It uses egg yolks, shallots, chervil, and peppercorns.

I like to make a stick of salted butter into a nice compound butter with garlic and parsley and then put a nice pat atop my warm steak. I promise no steak can be ruined in this manner.

 

[GrogNerd]

yeah, I'm more of a no sauce on my steak kind of guy. but I wouldn't push it off my plate if it had some buttery garlicky goodness on it

or bleu cheese.

or bacon

or another steak

YEAH! that's the best sauce for steak; another steak!

 

[DrunkleJon]

Eh, Just pass mine through a warm room. And if you absolutely have to put anything on it, a little salt and fresh ground pepper is all it needs.

A good cut of meat should be flavor enough. It is blasphemous to cover that up.

 

[GrogNerd]

granddad always had his well done. he was a butcher and knew his beef.

I like mine cooked, but not that cooked.

always tell the server, "my apologies to the chef; medium" if it's a place that tends to overcook, like GA Steakhouse, Longhorn or Outback , "medium well" if it's someplace that knows how to cook a steak, like Ruth's Chris, Mortons or (around here) Capitol Grille.

 

[the_bird]

granddad always had his well done. he was a butcher and knew his beef.

I like mine cooked, but not that cooked.

always tell the server, "my apologies to the chef; medium" if it's a place that tends to overcook, like GA Steakhouse, Longhorn or Outback , "medium well" if it's someplace that knows how to cook a steak, like Ruth's Chris, Mortons or (around here) Capitol Grille.

Was that because of the particular cuts he was eating? I used to always eat my steaks well-done before I knew better, I still don't like them "passed through a warm-room"-rare but medium-rare is perfect.

And the garlic butter sounds like a good way to make a *good* steak better, but I'll stand by my "if it's a GREAT steak, leave it alone!". If it's got enough fat, it shouldn't need the butter.

 

[JonM]

How about paraphrasing a Mark Twain line:

"Patriotism means loving your country all the time and your government when they deserve it."

Oh, and grilled or fried plantains are awesome, as is grilled pineapple when served with teriyaki anything.

 

[GrogNerd]

Was that because of the particular cuts he was eating?

not sure what cuts he preferred.

"if it's a GREAT steak, leave it alone!". If it's got enough fat, it shouldn't need the butter.

I'll agree

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Fair enough. Many pricey cuts arent marbled at all (I'm looking at you filet) so they demand a little extra barding.

Here's another rule to live by. Steak is a superior food to a hamburger. Is there ever a day that I would rather have a burger over a steak? Sure all the time. But steak wins that fight.

If you grind an expensive steak to make hamburger... you're basically having your gold metal bronzed.

 

[GrogNerd]

Oh, and grilled or fried plantains are awesome, as is grilled pineapple when served with teriyaki anything.

might make an exception for fried plantains. the ex was Cuban (ella llamo La Reina de las Vacas) and her mom would make some awesome double-fried plantains

but cooked pineapple is an abomination

 

[JohnnyO]

#3 – it’s Carolina-style for pulled pork, Texas for brisket, Memphis for chicken and Kansas City for ribs

This is, word-for-word, the answer to the question I pondered earlier. We had a good BBQ restaurant open up near me, and, growing up in New England, I unfortunately don't know my BBQ the way I'd like to. The restaurant has a four different sauces, and I have no idea is "supposed" to go with what. I recently had the brisket with the carolina mustard sauce. It was delicious, but couldn't help thinking about what sauce was best. Could something have been better?

Just checked. They have Louisiana Hot, Carolina Mustard, Kansas City Sweet and Memphis Vinegar.

 

[the_bird]

Grog’s Rules for Food (which can count as truisms)
#7 – if you’re eating at a restaurant, you can complain about any problems with your food &/or service, but NEVER EVER send YOUR FOOD back to the kitchen

I'm sorry, this one is dumb. I've only sent food back maybe once that I can recall, but why wouldn't you (assuming it was a problem with how the food was cooked)? If the food's not acceptable, why shouldn't you get it fixed? If you ask for a steak medium-rate and you get "burnt" (or vice-versa), that's a problem that the kitchen needs to be aware of.

 

[jerrodm]

#10 is completely wrong.

What's the best way to serve a nice steak? Rare/medium-rare, with nothing but a little salt and pepper. Unless you count "cow blood" as a "sauce," keep it simple, dammit!

Again, this is obviously correct. Count this in the "If you need ketchup/A1/mushroom sauce/etc., you're doing it wrong" category.

 

[GrogNerd]

I'm sorry, this one is dumb. I've only sent food back maybe once that I can recall, but why wouldn't you (assuming it was a problem with how the food was cooked)? If the food's not acceptable, why shouldn't you get it fixed? If you ask for a steak medium-rate and you get "burnt" (or vice-versa), that's a problem that the kitchen needs to be aware of.

they will be made aware of any problem, it will be comped off the check and I may not eat it, but I will not send it back to be "fixed"

have you seen ?

watch the whole thing, but pay particular attention to 1:17 to 1:40

 

[DrunkleJon]

Ever seen Fight Club? remember the quote "He was the guerilla terrorist of the food industry" Its just not worth it to anger those who handle your food.

 

[the_bird]

Well, you don't have to be a dink about it. If I'm hungry, though, I don't really WANT to have the $20 taken off my bill, I want to eat!

 

[jerrodm]

It's true, but be aware of the consequences...I think this rule is waived if you are at the place often enough to know people who work there, or if the setup is such that you can say something directly to the cook (like an open kitchen layout), so he can see you're not a ******. Otherwise, even if you're super polite to the waiter, you can't guarantee that that's going to get translated back to the overworked, harried cook staff in the back. And God help you if the guy (or gal) is just having a bad day...