Trolls

[Varmintman]

I hate beer. They are trying to ruin the grape crush movement going on

Why is that dang hamster eating my chips

 

[sweetcell]

i brewed a beer (just like instructions) to dayz ago and pitched yeast now has freaky white gunk on the surface is it infected????????? and if not what category should i enter it as????///

 

[C-Rider]

What he doesn't realize in the other thread that Troll IS an acronym....So he hates himself.

Terribly
Rude
Obnoxious
Little
Loudmouth

Thanks Revvy, never knew where the term came from. LOL

 

[Varmintman]

What is a batch sparge and why are a batch of people sparging anyway. It kind of sounds dirty so can I join

 

[bottlebomber]

You just like vigorously shaking things.

I am pretty good at throttling..

 

[mcbaumannerb]

Hi - I've brewed a few recipes I've found on here and they are all too bitter. They're worse than Coors Light with all those hops! I'm looking for a Drewery's. clone - that is some great beer! Anyone got a recipe for that? Again ... I'm not looking for some over hopped beer like Bud or Miller either. Thanks.

 

[WesleyS]

Hi, I want to bottle my beer in mason jars. I'm looking for advice. I know this will work and I plan on arguing with anyone who says otherwise. I know I said I was looking for advice but really I'm looking for everyone to agree with me. And I will get upset and call names if the replies are anything other than unicorns, rainbows and smiles. Then I will say something like "I guess I'll find a different forum to post on from now on!"
As if I'm throwing it in everyone's face and think y'all will actually care and lose sleep over it.

 

[Varmintman]

Hi, I want to bottle my beer in mason jars. I'm looking for advice. I know this will work and I plan on arguing with anyone who says otherwise. I know I said I was looking for advice but really I'm looking for everyone to agree with me. And I will get upset and call names if the replies are anything other than unicorns, rainbows and smiles. Then I will say something like "I guess I'll find a different forum to post on from now on!"
As if I'm throwing it in everyone's face and think y'all will actually care and lose sleep over it.

Funny thing I was going to do this with the mason jars. Not because I did not have bottles but I thought it would be cool showing up with beer in a mason jar. I got over it after having to clean up the mess but now I am thinking about canning beer in the metal containers like the ones they use for corn.

Wife said no after the pint jar mess

 

[mcbaumannerb]

Hi, I want to bottle my beer in mason jars. I'm looking for advice. I know this will work and I plan on arguing with anyone who says otherwise. I know I said I was looking for advice but really I'm looking for everyone to agree with me. And I will get upset and call names if the replies are anything other than unicorns, rainbows and smiles. Then I will say something like "I guess I'll find a different forum to post on from now on!"
As if I'm throwing it in everyone's face and think y'all will actually care and lose sleep over it.

That could work - but only if you seal the jars with beeswax from the enchanted forest (you know, where the rainbow ends and the leprechaun rides unicorns with big smiles!). If you do it ant other way you will get an infection!!!

 

[Zuljin]

.

 

[BobbiLynn]

Another noob question, I know that when I get down to the bottom, the "trub", I'm not supposed to bottle that part. So if I want to drink it instead of wasting it, is there something I can take to prevent a yeast infection?

 

[highgravitybacon]

I'm doing this BIAB thing with some nets from Lowes. I read about it. Seems pretty easy. But here's my issue. I have a Muntons Hopped Extract kit. Now, the first time I put it in the bag and mashed it, nothing happened. The can just sat there. It didn't make any sense why you would just put a can in the bag.

So the second time I poured the can into the bag. It went all the way through the bag holes and sat at the bottom of the pan. This makes no sense. Why do people use the bag if it can't catch the syrup goo? I think it's a stupid idea.

 

[mike_in_ak]

No BIAB is clearly superior to all other forms of brewing.

It just doesn't work on pre-hopped kits. You have to use syrup that isn't pre-hopped.

 

[mike_in_ak]

I mean I BIAB with extract all the time and my efficiency is NUTS.

 

[mcbaumannerb]

So I prefer to make my own stuff instead of giving my money away to those thieves at the LHBS. To that end, rather than forking over $20 for a Carboy to use as my tertiary, I was thinking of taking a kitchen garbage can and line it with a heavy duty garbage bag. Then after I transfer my beer in I'll just pull the bag around the bung and use a zip tie to secure it. Nothing could possibly go wrong with this plan - right?

 

[sonofgrok]

Wait wait wait? You guys are using like extracts and grains and stuff! Epic. All this time I thought home brewing was just mixing commercial beers to get different flavors. I recently did a 5 gallon batch of 2 gallons Coors light and 2 gallons extra gold with 1 gallon shiner topper. I was hoping for a hefeweizen but it didn't really taste right. I think it may have been infected so I dumped it.

 

[JonM]

I followed the instructions on my True Brewer kit to the letter, but something went wrong because now I'm on the roof with a concussion and my dog drove off in my truck.

 

[Pappers_]

truth is stranger than fiction https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/i-learned-competition-today-384911/

 

[martiniw2olives]

I recently did a 5 gallon batch of 2 gallons Coors light and 2 gallons extra gold with 1 gallon shiner topper. I was hoping for a hefeweizen but it didn't really taste right. I think it may have been infected so I dumped it.

The reason it didn't taste right is because you forgot to add the alcohol. Next time add one quart of vodka per gallon of beer.

 

[Brew-Jay]

Excellent website. Lots of useful information here. I am sending it to a few friends ans also sharing in delicious. And obviously, thanks for your effort!

 

[Vigo_Carpathian]

So I'm brewing up an O'Douls clone this weekend and the recipe calls for non-alcoholic yeast. Where can I find this? I need it ASAP.

 

[BobbiLynn]

Help!!!! What is wrong with my mash!! I don't have a grain mill so i just put it in the food processor. Mixed in plenty of water. So how do I turn this into a liquid?

 

[nDub]

So I kinda read OP first post but I'm too lazy to read all the post between his and mine now so I'll just reiterate exactly what everyone has already said but I'll claim it as new and final. So OP is wrong and trolls are cuddly.

 

[BobbiLynn]

So I kinda read OP first post but I'm too lazy to read all the post between his and mine now so I'll just reiterate exactly what everyone has already said but I'll claim it as new and final. So OP is wrong and trolls are cuddly.

Not one person here thinks trolls are cuddly, so OBLIVIOUSLY you don't know how to read!!!

 

[mike_in_ak]

Ur bad

 

[Varmintman]

My all time favorite one.

So I saw on u tube that I can make 30% booze with a bottle of juice and some sugar and it will be done in a week. Anyone try it

And you know it is a kid trying to make some hooch for the party coming up

 

[gcdowd]

Some good troll threads (or maybe just people trying to be funny), but these are a few of my favorites:

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/forgot-key-ingredient-does-matter-much-280208/

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f14/out-co2-primed-keg-propane-331181/

And of course, the fake troll thread titles.

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/fake-troll-thread-titles-give-us-your-best-300839/

 

[Vigo_Carpathian]

Please Help!!! I'm dry hopping for the first time and I don't think it's working. How far above the liquid level should I hang the bag of hops to keep them dry? I tried putting them in a ziplock and letting it float on top, but I guess I didn't seal the bag enough and the hops all got wet. What should I do?

 

[WesleyS]

Please Help!!! I'm dry hopping for the first time and I don't think it's working. How far above the liquid level should I hang the bag of hops to keep them dry? I tried putting them in a ziplock and letting it float on top, but I guess I didn't seal the bag enough and the hops all got wet. What should I do?

Not to derail your subject, but I was wondering something. Has anyone ever dry hopped a dead moose? Would this work? I'm wanting to make a moose drool clone and instead of doing any research on this beer, I'm casting aside common sense and I'm just going to put what I want in it and I figure dry hopping with a moose would provide a fresh "moosey" aroma. Input?

 

[Subsailor]

Please see the method for Dry Moosing: