This scene popped into my head after I mentioned retiring. It made me laugh so I had to flesh it out and post it. I swear it's from having watched too many cliche movies about a guy "coming out of retirement" and not about being an egomaniac. Apologies if I missed anyone in the credits, it just means you need to play more often because it came from a mostly random sample of clicking around for the last few dozen pages. And the actor choices were mostly random.
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SCENE: A dark, seedy bar. chocotaco sits alone at a table for two, nursing a glorious craft beer. Two men enter, in black Armani suits, with black ties and white shirts. They scan the bar and spot chocotaco. One approaches his table; the other approaches the bar.
AGENT 1: chocotaco?
CHOCOTACO: (looks up) who wants to know?
AGENT 1: We're here on behalf of the United States government. It's about the game.
CHOCOTACO: (looks down into his glass) Then you're here about ten years too late. I retired from that a long time ago.
AGENT 1: We know that. (he pulls out the chair opposite chocotaco and sits) We also know that there was a time when you were the best.
CHOCOTACO: (takes a sip) I was never the best. I was just lucky. With all your files, you should know that.
(The second agent approaches the table. He sets a glass of beer down on the table. chocotaco's eyes immediately fix on the glass. The second agent smirks.)
CHOCOTACO: (eyes dart to the second agent, then to the first) I... I have no idea what that is.
AGENT 2: (sarcastically) Sure.
CHOCOTACO: Look, what's this about, anyway?
AGENT 1: (slips a photograph across the table) Recognize this?
CHOCOTACO: (looks at the photo) Of course. It's Secretary Smith.
AGENT 1: Yes. But what's he drinking?
CHOCOTACO: Oh my god.
AGENT 2: Now do you see?
AGENT 1: Your country needs you, chocotaco.
CHOCOTACO: (stares hard at AGENT 1 for several seconds) I have one condition.
AGENT 1: Name it.
CHOCOTACO: (looks around nervously). Pliny the Younger.
AGENT 1 looks puzzled.
CHOCOTACO: I never tried it. Get me some.
AGENT 1: (quizzical look) OK, that shouldn't be a problem.
CHOCOTACO: Not just for me.
AGENT 1 looks shocked.
CHOCOTACO: For everyone from the old thread. Bragona71, DarthCitra, CorporateHippie, JordanKnudson, MrFeltimo, Tripplehazard... everyone.
AGENT 1 shoots AGENT 2 a glance. AGENT 2 nods.
AGENT 1: I think we can do that.
OPENING TITLES BEGIN (theme music a la Blade Runner or Deus Ex):
The Most Dangerous Beer Game
Starring:
Sam Rockwell as Chocotaco
Don Cheadle as CorporateHippie
Ray Park as DarthCitra
Paul Rudd as Bragona71
Samuel L. Jackson as JordanKnudson
Clive Owen as MrFeltimo
Ron Perlman as Tripplehazard
Micky Rourke as Drainbamage
Directed By: Steven Soderbergh