Things that come out of the SWMBO's mouth!

[jeffjm]

* "When are you making my dopplebock again?"

* "What do you mean my dopplebock won't be ready for four months?"

* (After trying her first BMC product in probably ten or fifteen years and making a horrible face) "Beer doesn't taste like that at OUR house!"

 

[ChshreCat]

Now she says "make that apricot thing again but half the alcohol. I know you smoke cigars after I pass out!"

You should tell her that if that's the worst thing you do after she passes out, she should be grateful. :rockin:

 

[Grantman1]

My SWMBO is my all too honest beer tester. After my 4th batch she confessed to me this:

"All of your beers smell like urine, not fresh urine but urine from some back alley"

It was a huge confidence builder because that was the exact taste I've been going for! Now, how she can differentiate between fresh and alley urine is what concerns me.

Please post your Back Alley Urine Ale recipe.

 

[StittsvilleJames]

"F*ck that sh*t smells".

 

[cfonnes]

SWMBO likes my hobby, she says, it keeps you home where I do not have to worry about you.

On the non-brewing side. My son is getting married in a couple of weeks.

SWMBO - watch out for a $900 charge on the credit card.

Me - $900? For what?

SWMBO - Amazon messed up, it took three times for the charge to go through.

SWMBO - If it comes through that much I will straighten it out.

Left me feeling good that the dress only cost $300.

 

[pwndabear]

SWMBO - watch out for a $900 charge on the credit card.

Me - $900? For what?

SWMBO - Amazon messed up, it took three times for the charge to go through.

SWMBO - If it comes through that much I will straighten it out.

Left me feeling good that the dress only cost $300.

i see your wife has figured out "husband prices"

 

[tbel]

Not really funny like many of the other responses but, when I started washing my yeast after I made my first batch, she says "Do you really need 4 jars of that yeast? Do you think you'll use that all in one year?"

I just laughed, it was funny to me

 

[tbel]

You have to learn.... there are real prices and "wife" prices.. if it cost you $30 tell the wife it was $10

Guys around the Twin Cities area may know of Garage Logic. They have few things to say about this. " Three Prices You Pay Syndrome 1 - The price you paid for the item. 2 - The price you tell her you paid for the item. 3 - The price you pay when she finds out the price you paid."

and then theres... The 48-Hour Rule or "You Had Your Chance" This rule was established on March 5, 2002 and is as follows: As a reward for a fellow sneaking new and inexpensive cylinders into the Crisis Center and also escaping any female wrath that might accrue from said purchase, the fellow may make up any story he wishes after 48 hours regarding the acquisition. In other words, she gets 48 hours to notice the purchase and complain. If she misses her window, you are home free. "This old thing," you might say, when, after a week, she finally does notice, "that thing has been here since July."

As it says it was originally made for adding cylinders, but it has been used by men for many things and would fit nicely for all things brewing related.
Unfortunately my wife has adapted it for her own use.

 

[TheMan]

My girlfriend just lets me do my thing for the most part. She supports my hobby. A couple weeks ago she asked, "So do you wanna move in with me? I will even give you your own room to store all your beer crap. And you can have the garage since your car is nicer than mine." Still considering the idea, but can't deny it's a nice offer lol.

 

[pwndabear]

i would be mega pissed if my girlfriend called my beer equipment "crap"

 

[rycov]

Grow a set, just do it. then if she kicks you out, you can get ****ty drunk and beg your friends for a place to stay for the night. cant do that if you live by yourself

 

[rycov]

i would be mega pissed if my girlfriend called my beer equipment "crap"

pick your battles

 

[jd3]

My girlfriend just lets me do my thing for the most part. She supports my hobby. A couple weeks ago she asked, "So do you wanna move in with me? I will even give you your own room to store all your beer crap. And you can have the garage since your car is nicer than mine." Still considering the idea, but can't deny it's a nice offer lol.

Bait. and. switch.

Just you wait.

 

[pwndabear]

pick your battles

my beer stuff is not CRAP, thank you very much

 

[heferly]

probably some hidden motive haha

 

[cfonnes]

my beer stuff is not CRAP, thank you very much

Perception is from point of view. Anything that a person is not interested in is crap.

For instance, many women would disagree that the stuff sold at a scentsy party is crap.

 

[bumstigedy]

Mine asked me when we were going to get setup to have 4 beers on tap because she bought me a 4 glass tasting set for Christmas. ....just got another fridge to meet this request

 

[pwndabear]

Perception is from point of view. Anything that a person is not interested in is crap.

For instance, many women would disagree that the stuff sold at a scentsy party is crap.

are you insinuating that my beer stuff is crap? my beer stuff is NOT crap :cross:

 

[JefeTheVol]

"Every time you brew beer, you make the house smell like dogfood!!!"

"Your hops smell like weed!!!"

"I think you screwed up your wheat beer, it tastes like bubblegum's nutsack"

-Jefe-

 

[cfonnes]

are you insinuating that my beer stuff is crap? my beer stuff is NOT crap :cross:

How much did you spend for that crap?

 

[NorthRiverS]

After countless hours of brewing, fermenting, bottling, and conditioning a fabulous homebrew, the wife usually says, "Tastes like beer".

That's it.

NRS

 

[the_bird]

Am I the only pervert who read this thread as "things that come in SWMBO's mouth"?

EDIT: Looks like Bobby's a perv, too.

 

[ThickHead]

SWMBO is all about using natural products to maintain her healthy skin. When I say "natural," I don't mean as in buying products from the store that are marketed as all-natural, organic, etc. I mean that she uses my spent coffee grounds and olive oil as an exfoliating scrub, avocados and tomatoes for face masks, freshly clipped Aloe Vera, and the list goes on and on.

I said that to say this: The first time my wife was present for a brew day she watched me strain about 8 oz of hops out of my freshly cooled wort and the ensuing conversation went a little like this:

SWMBO: Wow! That is a lot of hops. They smell wonderful.

Me: Yeah, this batch is an IPA and the recipe calls for a lot of hops.

SWMBO: Hrmm...can you save those for me?

Me: Sure. Why?

SWMBO: I would like to use them in my bath this evening.

Me: (shaking off the fog) Ummm...errrr...sure, Baby.

Later that evening I witnessed just about the sexiest thing my brain never imagined. SWMBO stark naked in a fresh, beery, hop bath! Anyway, that was a hell of a good night. :rockin:

Sorry, she won't let me share the pics.

 

[stanley1271]

"I think you screwed up your wheat beer, it tastes like bubblegum's nutsack"

Who is bubblegum and how does she know what his nutsack tastes like?

 

[Chenslee]

"I HIGHLY suggest you come home for lunch, your beer is doing something weird."

By 'weird' she meant wit volcano in the pantry. What a mess.

 

[Malintent]

SWMBO says that boiling extract, "smells like a bladder infection" and that my all grain mash "smells like breakfast"

Honestly, I have to agree with both sentiments.

 

[cfonnes]

SWMBO says that boiling extract, "smells like a bladder infection" and that my all grain mash "smells like breakfast"

Hopefully I never find out what a bladder infection smells like. That is just something that I cannot imagine myself leaning over and sniffing deeply to investigate.

 

[jspence1]

My favorite:

After hitting the kegerator pretty hard for about an hour or two: "I'm kind of toasted. But I looked at my watch at it's only 6:30. I can't stop drinking yet!"

Two hours later: "I'm trashed! Why didn't you stop me?!?!"

30 minutes after that: "Zzzzzzzzzzzz."

Wow that sounds like me at leo's place last year

 

[jspence1]

55 pound bag of Maris Otter sitting on the kitchen table, "Is this sack going to be dropped from an airplane to feed the hungry, or are you going to move it."

best line ever!

 

[fuhmon]

SWMBO: how many have you had tonight?

Me: umm only a few (like 7 20oz)

SWMBO: its hard to tell how many you drink now since all your beer is in kegs. I can't count the bottles on the counter anymore