Things about your co-workers that annoy you

[soccerdad]

I've decided to be the annoying co-worker as of yesterday, the target, our CAD engineer.

Just a quick background, dude is a major league doofus

You and CADJockey work together? You know he's pretty regular on here .. and you just called him a doofus !

 

[Genghis]

You and CADJockey work together? You know he's pretty regular on here .. and you just called him a doofus !

... and outlined your grand revenge scheme where he can read it.

This is going to be awkward on Monday.

 

[TheCADJockey]

I've decided to be the annoying co-worker as of yesterday, the target, our CAD engineer.

You and CADJockey work together? You know he's pretty regular on here .. and you just called him a doofus !

... and outlined your grand revenge scheme where he can read it.

This is going to be awkward on Monday.

 

[Psylocide]

If I worked with TheCADJockey, I don't think much work would be getting done.

It would probably look a lot like this:

 

[DReimerMT]

Staring off with my boss. He will call me up when he is out of the office to tell me something he saw. Goes something like this:
Him: Hey buddy you won't believe what I saw going down the frontage road!
Me: Oh yeah? What was it?
Him: I saw a lion in the back of a pick up!
Me: Cool, what can I help you with?
Him: Nothin' just called to tell you about the lion. See you when I get back to the shop.
It turns out it really was a lion, but he has done it for far less i.e. I saw 5 dead skunks in a mile or a cop pulling over a speeder.

Another one of my co-workers will machine gun fire questions. Asking 100 questions in the span of a minute will not help me answer them any faster or get you an answer period. Ask one question at a time and I can give you really great answers. 10 at once, not so much.

 

[Psylocide]

I've decided to be the annoying co-worker as of yesterday, the target, our CAD engineer.

Just a quick background, dude is a major league doofus and thinks Farm Simulator is the best game ever and also comes into my office to talk to the side of my head about stupid **** I don't care about all the time.


Yesterday, I hatched a plan. Whenever he's out of his office, I'm going to start leaving one (clean) balled up tissue on his extra work-desk per day until they pile up.

Well, when I walked by this morning, it was gone. And then it hit me... this was even better.

I'll continue to drop one balled up tissue on his desk per day and he will pick them up. If he even asks, I'll just poker face him and act like "dunno what you're talking about."

Then one day, after it becomes a normal occurrence, I'll just stop.

A couple weeks later, I'll start it up again.

Day four of Covert tissue ops.

For four days I have left a tissue on the desk, for four days he has picked them up and thrown them away. He seems pretty pissed off lately, I'd like to think that my mind**** has played at least some small role in this.

I will soldier on.

 

[hunter_le five]

I will soldier on.

You're doing the Lord's work. Stay strong.




He must be broken.

 

[TheCADJockey]

I will soldier on.

That's too much work... Every time he steps away, just go to his keyboard:

-TOOLBAR < enter >
ALL < enter >
SHOW < enter >

You didn't hear that from me.

 

[Psylocide]

That's too much work... Every time he steps away, just go to his keyboard:

-TOOLBAR < enter >
ALL < enter >
SHOW < enter >

You didn't hear that from me.

Yeah... that's when I would get caught, lol.

I love it because it's such a minuscule thing. A tissue on the desk.

It keeps coming back. Who could be doing this? Why is someone leaving these here? God, are they clean or dirty?

When will it end?

 

[TheCADJockey]

Yeah... that's when I would get caught, lol.

I love it because it's such a minuscule thing. A tissue on the desk.

It keeps coming back. Who could be doing this? Why is someone leaving these here? God, are they clean or dirty?

When will it end?

Come on... he'll never notice...

 

[DrunkleJon]

Day four of Covert tissue ops.

For four days I have left a tissue on the desk, for four days he has picked them up and thrown them away. He seems pretty pissed off lately, I'd like to think that my mind**** has played at least some small role in this.

I will soldier on.

Tomorrow you should leave two.

 

[Psylocide]

Tomorrow you should leave two.

I like it.

 

[drainbamage]

Tomorrow you should leave two.

That is just beyond the pale, sir!

 

[soccerdad]

I just dropped some Elmer's Glue to you in the mail. Squirt a little in each tissue.

 

[Grannyknot]

Couple of good ways we used to mess with people in the office...

Our phone system had a way of calling someone within the office, but right before it started ringing, you could put the call on hold, conference in another line, join the 2 calls, and hang up. Both lines would be left ringing, and when they both answered it would be mass confusion. Me and another guy would do it quite a bit and nobody ever figured out it was us. Most common target was this older guy who listened to extremist political radio all day and by 3:00 he would be so enraged by what he was hearing, he would absolutely flip out if his phone interrupted him only to be someone that was confused about how they were calling him.

2nd one was pretty simple, we would take all the spam faxes and either put them in peoples inboxes, or respond to them with someone's contact info in the company. It was anonymous, so you could more or less sign someone up for constant phone or email harassment.

 

[TheCADJockey]

Well, if we're talking about funking with people in the office...

The people in my department like to yell to others, instead of get up and go talk to them. You know, because why get up and move around a little when you only sit for 8 hours a day? Anyway, every day there comes a point where names just start being called out..

"Jeff.. you there?"

I yell back in my best impression of them, saying "yeah" or whatever that specific persons usual acknowledgement is. They never catch on. I do it every day. They then proceed to explain their situation or pose whatever inane question they had by yelling it out. Only, nobody answers. The lady I often post about is the biggest victim, being as long-winded as she is, she'll talk for ten minutes before realizing nobody is there.

Good times.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Clear tape on the bottom of their mouse. You will soon hear the sound of a mouse being bashed on the desk.

 

[1977Brewer]

Clear tape on the bottom of their mouse. You will soon hear the sound of a mouse being bashed on the desk.

Unless their mouse was made this century.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Unless their mouse was made this century.

Actually it works on optical mouses(mice?) as well. Try it

 

[hunter_le five]

Unless their mouse was made this century.

I just tried it on my optical mouse, and it rendered it virtually useless.

Edit: Dammit Drunkle.

 

[1977Brewer]

I tried it before I posted. Maybe I need the matte tape, we use crystal clear here.

 

[drainbamage]

One of my favorites...

Every Halloween, the women in the office do a week-long Secret Santa-type thing, where they buy each other candy and cheap decorations and trinkets. Most of them are pretty straightforward and will just leave the gifts on their person's desk while they're away, but a couple will get into it and leave scavenger hunt clues.

One of the other engineers and I figured out who all was participating, and started leaving increasingly cryptic (but completely nonsensical) clues on their desks after hours, then watched as they hunted through the office on a wild goose chase.

At first, a few people started to suspect the women who traditionally did the scavenger hunts in the past. Most wised up once they figured out the clues led nowhere, but the front desk receptionist was completely wrapped up in it. Since she didn't know who was leaving the notes, she started emailing the whole office with her totally-serious interpretations of our totally-BS clues. You could walk by her desk during the day and see her frantically Googling all kinds of supernatural symbolism.

At the end of the week, we left a vague note thanking everyone for playing, but we never stepped forward to reveal ourselves. To this day, only a handful of people ever found out who was behind it, but most of them don't work here anymore, so we could still pick up where we left off.

 

[Psylocide]

How about like, taking your co-workers taillight cover off, then jamming a speaker wire in the brake light socket, then running that to the gas tank?

Would be funny, no?

 

[hunter_le five]

How about like, taking your co-workers taillight cover off, then jamming a speaker wire in the brake light socket, then running that to the gas tank?

Would be funny, no?

Good prank.

If he doesn't laugh at that, then he is obviously just a humorless dick, and deserves whatever fate just threw at him.

 

[beernbourbon]

I just tried it on my optical mouse, and it rendered it virtually useless.

Edit: Dammit Drunkle.

HA! I use trackball mouse...... ain't no tape gonna git me!!

if they leave their computer on, or if somehow you have their password, and they are particularly computer illiterate, rotate their screen 180* in the display settings.....mouse runs backward, TOTALLY funks 'em up.

 

[hunter_le five]

I use trackball mouse

You disgust me.

 

[TheCADJockey]

You disgust me.

Me?

 

[hunter_le five]

Me?

You too, but for other reasons.

 

[Psylocide]

Or... what about like, strip down a power cord and feed it up through their desk and into the bottom of their stapler or connect it to their filing cabinet and plug it in before work?

Like, just for a joke.

 

[hunter_le five]

Also a good joke:

Hide their office supplies.
Cover their entire office in Post-It notes.
Spit in their coffee mug.
Push them down the stairs.
Cut their brake cables.
Set them on fire.
Stabbing. Repeatedly.