The following is a copy of a conversation i had with a buddy today about my saturday brew chaos. It's an interesting read! Let me know how it compares to your brew day chaos stories!
JM says
well saturday rolls around and i'm waking up from a dream about making beer right
suddenly i start panicking because the last batch i made was when the weather was still nice and now i have no way to cool the beer down except leaving it overnight, possibly risking contamination so i get all ready to leave and i call my dad to see if he wants to go running around with me to the various stores i need to get to before i can brew
i was short of breath and my heart was pounding
it was ridiculous
wait, wait, wait...how was your long weekend?
is that part of your story?
JP says
?
you lost me
JM says
i broke off after i realized i didn't ask how your long weekend went
nevermind, i'll move on
JP says
we talked about that earlier...water balloons...slide...etc
JM says
so he says yes, and i get ready to head out and i turn on my motorcycle to get ready to leave (keep in mind that i've got to get lots of stuff and i was planning on bringing a commerical brew in a keg home as well)
so i'm so excited that i get to get all these new toys to brew my batch that i've forgotten that i won't have any way to get them all home
right, so i turn around put my bike up and head over in my truck to the 'rents house
get there, and realize that my mother has decided she was coming along as well
one thing you should know, she doesn't have a problem with me drinking, but she thinks i should have just stayed with commercial brews and drinking them so i'm already sort of on her nerves just because we're going to get stuff to make beer better
following so far?
JP says
uh huh...
JM says
right, so we stop by home depot to get some copper to make a wort chiller (basically a contact heatsink, but for beer) and the garden hose fittings to go along with it. just about the time dad and i find the things we need she starts complaining about how she's hungry...well i need to drive about 30 miles one way for this guy to turn the copper around a keg for me since i've never done it before
and this is about 3:30, nothing in HD is fast so you know we didn't even leave the store until after 4:30; the guy closes his store at 7pm
JP says
ok
JM says
she's screaming bloody murder that if she doesn't eat now she's gonna take everyone home and she'll just stay there. well obviously that's not good for either of us since we're already out and about and of course she's the only one who's hungry
she forces to eat at Cotton Patch, don't know if you guys have those in FL but it's pretty mediocre food to begin with (for some reason she loves it)
JP says
not here
JM says
the whole time she's trying to make things better by rushing through lunch, but she's being rude to our waitress in order to do it so now i'm all pissed off because the waitress didn't have anything to do with why we're all feeling rushed
in fact, my mother is the entire reason we're rushed at all actually
JP says
this sounds like calamity at it's finest
JM says
so we finish lunch and get on the road to the homebrew shop and the entire time on the way she's complaining about how far the place is and why we're doing this, it's just for beer
yeah, i know
try to hold yourself together
now, this is only step one to the places i wanted to get to before i started my batch later on that night
so we finally get on the road that leads to the beer shop but, having a somewhat photographic memory, i don't remember the dude's address and only what it looks like so she's all flustered that i've now had her pull in to a shopping mall that wasn't the right one and now she has to cross traffic lanes to get back on the road
phew! we finally make it to the homebrew shop and Pat, the owner, hooks me up in about 3 minutes, for free i might add, and the very next thing i hear out of my mother's mouth is "huh, we came all the way over here just for that?!"
yes mother, because i'm not a wizard who can just conjure the wort chiller
so, i've got my wort chiller ready to roll, and the next stop is the liquor store that stocks kegs i can get
from where we are, the fastest way to the liquor store is through little Mexico and past little Bronx (good thing both my dad and I pack heat whenever we go out)
btw, love my TX CHL license
we're driving through little Mexico town and mom starts complaining again about how we have to go all this way for beer (see the recurring theme?) and about how we're all gonna get shot so i decide that we haven't had enough chaos and i spot a black dude that has his pants around his ankles almost
i roll down the window and scream "hey, pull your dang pants up!!!"
highlight of that stretch of road for me. my mother freaks out and starts speeding so fast she misses the turn off and has to make a uturn
cue the obligatory complaint about how she's going out of her way so much just for some beer
k, we exit mexico and bronx town and finally arrive at the liquor store, i get my keg out to make sure the 1/6th keg i get (there are a couple different sizes Coors, Corny, Pepsi...etc...) is the same size as the ones that fit perfectly in my fridge right now
they have everything i could want available, but cheap me decides that i'd like to have Blue Moon Belgian White (the cheapest one) and that one was in a Coors sized keg, obviously
JP says
man...this is a debacle
JM says
yeah, i had fun
JP says
i'm starting to agree with your mom a little
this is why i dont brew i guess
JM says
so we finish up at the liquor store, not a whole lot going on there, nobody can really be unhappy at a liquor store
JP says
i have no patients for this stuff
JM says
get back on the road to head to Academy to pick up my propane burner so i'm not standing over my gas stovetop for hours just trying to get the 3 gallons boiling
finally get to Academy and get back to the section necessary, turns out they don't have the BTU rating that i really wanted so i settle for (something i HATE TO DO) a rating that will get the job done but not in the time that i was expecting and had done all the calculations for already. we finally get back to my truck at my 'rent's house and i pack everything up and finally get a chance to call
my cousin who was gonna come help me brew, he's interestedin the process
well, right after that i get a call from Jay asking if we wanted some dessert
uh, YES! but i didn't think i would be seeing her that day so i'm pretty bummed that i won't be able to give her the attention she deserves
k
i finally get home and my cousin and Jay show up right about the same time (Jay brought baked peaches and home made whipped cream....mmmmmmmmmmm) and we get the whole process started
everything is going fine until i remember i've got a full keg sitting in the front seat of my truck...no problem right, i'll just get it hooked up and everything will be golden right?
JP says
this is getting better
JM says
well, if you guessed that everything would be fine you'd be dead wrong
turns out that i've got LITERALLY just enough room for two corny kegs in my fridge
that's it, nothing more at all
so guess what me and my cousin get to do with the St. Arnlod's Elissa clone i've already got in the fridge?
JP says
drank it?
all?
JM says
now, there was only about 12 pints left, but that's still a ton of beer
JP says
uh yeah
JM says
remember that story i told you about how that one finished 4 points higher in ABV than i was expecting?
JP says
yep
JM says
yeah, that's the one
so we're drinking out butts off trying to finish the keg so i can get the Blue Moon keg in the fridge and trying to finish setting up the wort chiller
all the while (since i've been home anyways) the beer is cooking away
we finally kick the keg, and then i get a boilover
no problem, just a small mess that i'll let my dogs clean up later after it carmelizes on the garage floor
k
this is the point where it get's good
JP says
ok
JM says
Jay asks us if we would like our dessert now, and about this time anything would have pulled me away from brewing
we get our dessert, wow was it good, and she leaves for work (that's not a good part, mind you, just a fact) and we finish up the boil
at that point my cousin has to trot out, so i'm left to my devices
i get to hook up my wort chiller, turn the water on and it cools from 212-ish down to 150 in about 2 minutes, finally down to pitching temperature (about 80) in another 10 minutes, i put everything in the fermenter, pitch the yeast, put the lid on and set it in the bathtub where it will rest until it's finished fermenting
JP says
Dude...sorry to interrupt your story but I have to bail. I'm having my dad over for his birthday at 5 and I have to stop by the store on the way home still. I will leave this up so I know where you left off though and we can start again in the morning.
JM says
then, just for the heck of it i thought i'd try to rig up a swamp cooler so i fulled the tub with cold water about 2 inches deep, grabbed a towel and soaked it, wrapped it around the fermenter, trained a fan on it and the temps have been consistently 65-ish for two solid days
finished!
tell your dad i said happy birthday
what a novel huh?
JP says
Holy crap dude! That was an intense day. That was more than my whole weekend.
JM says
moral of the story? beer is so worth the trouble i go through for it
JM says
well saturday rolls around and i'm waking up from a dream about making beer right
suddenly i start panicking because the last batch i made was when the weather was still nice and now i have no way to cool the beer down except leaving it overnight, possibly risking contamination so i get all ready to leave and i call my dad to see if he wants to go running around with me to the various stores i need to get to before i can brew
i was short of breath and my heart was pounding
it was ridiculous
wait, wait, wait...how was your long weekend?
is that part of your story?
JP says
?
you lost me
JM says
i broke off after i realized i didn't ask how your long weekend went
nevermind, i'll move on
JP says
we talked about that earlier...water balloons...slide...etc
JM says
so he says yes, and i get ready to head out and i turn on my motorcycle to get ready to leave (keep in mind that i've got to get lots of stuff and i was planning on bringing a commerical brew in a keg home as well)
so i'm so excited that i get to get all these new toys to brew my batch that i've forgotten that i won't have any way to get them all home
right, so i turn around put my bike up and head over in my truck to the 'rents house
get there, and realize that my mother has decided she was coming along as well
one thing you should know, she doesn't have a problem with me drinking, but she thinks i should have just stayed with commercial brews and drinking them so i'm already sort of on her nerves just because we're going to get stuff to make beer better
following so far?
JP says
uh huh...
JM says
right, so we stop by home depot to get some copper to make a wort chiller (basically a contact heatsink, but for beer) and the garden hose fittings to go along with it. just about the time dad and i find the things we need she starts complaining about how she's hungry...well i need to drive about 30 miles one way for this guy to turn the copper around a keg for me since i've never done it before
and this is about 3:30, nothing in HD is fast so you know we didn't even leave the store until after 4:30; the guy closes his store at 7pm
JP says
ok
JM says
she's screaming bloody murder that if she doesn't eat now she's gonna take everyone home and she'll just stay there. well obviously that's not good for either of us since we're already out and about and of course she's the only one who's hungry
she forces to eat at Cotton Patch, don't know if you guys have those in FL but it's pretty mediocre food to begin with (for some reason she loves it)
JP says
not here
JM says
the whole time she's trying to make things better by rushing through lunch, but she's being rude to our waitress in order to do it so now i'm all pissed off because the waitress didn't have anything to do with why we're all feeling rushed
in fact, my mother is the entire reason we're rushed at all actually
JP says
this sounds like calamity at it's finest
JM says
so we finish lunch and get on the road to the homebrew shop and the entire time on the way she's complaining about how far the place is and why we're doing this, it's just for beer
yeah, i know
try to hold yourself together
now, this is only step one to the places i wanted to get to before i started my batch later on that night
so we finally get on the road that leads to the beer shop but, having a somewhat photographic memory, i don't remember the dude's address and only what it looks like so she's all flustered that i've now had her pull in to a shopping mall that wasn't the right one and now she has to cross traffic lanes to get back on the road
phew! we finally make it to the homebrew shop and Pat, the owner, hooks me up in about 3 minutes, for free i might add, and the very next thing i hear out of my mother's mouth is "huh, we came all the way over here just for that?!"
yes mother, because i'm not a wizard who can just conjure the wort chiller
so, i've got my wort chiller ready to roll, and the next stop is the liquor store that stocks kegs i can get
from where we are, the fastest way to the liquor store is through little Mexico and past little Bronx (good thing both my dad and I pack heat whenever we go out)
btw, love my TX CHL license
we're driving through little Mexico town and mom starts complaining again about how we have to go all this way for beer (see the recurring theme?) and about how we're all gonna get shot so i decide that we haven't had enough chaos and i spot a black dude that has his pants around his ankles almost
i roll down the window and scream "hey, pull your dang pants up!!!"
highlight of that stretch of road for me. my mother freaks out and starts speeding so fast she misses the turn off and has to make a uturn
cue the obligatory complaint about how she's going out of her way so much just for some beer
k, we exit mexico and bronx town and finally arrive at the liquor store, i get my keg out to make sure the 1/6th keg i get (there are a couple different sizes Coors, Corny, Pepsi...etc...) is the same size as the ones that fit perfectly in my fridge right now
they have everything i could want available, but cheap me decides that i'd like to have Blue Moon Belgian White (the cheapest one) and that one was in a Coors sized keg, obviously
JP says
man...this is a debacle
JM says
yeah, i had fun
JP says
i'm starting to agree with your mom a little
this is why i dont brew i guess
JM says
so we finish up at the liquor store, not a whole lot going on there, nobody can really be unhappy at a liquor store
JP says
i have no patients for this stuff
JM says
get back on the road to head to Academy to pick up my propane burner so i'm not standing over my gas stovetop for hours just trying to get the 3 gallons boiling
finally get to Academy and get back to the section necessary, turns out they don't have the BTU rating that i really wanted so i settle for (something i HATE TO DO) a rating that will get the job done but not in the time that i was expecting and had done all the calculations for already. we finally get back to my truck at my 'rent's house and i pack everything up and finally get a chance to call
my cousin who was gonna come help me brew, he's interestedin the process
well, right after that i get a call from Jay asking if we wanted some dessert
uh, YES! but i didn't think i would be seeing her that day so i'm pretty bummed that i won't be able to give her the attention she deserves
k
i finally get home and my cousin and Jay show up right about the same time (Jay brought baked peaches and home made whipped cream....mmmmmmmmmmm) and we get the whole process started
everything is going fine until i remember i've got a full keg sitting in the front seat of my truck...no problem right, i'll just get it hooked up and everything will be golden right?
JP says
this is getting better
JM says
well, if you guessed that everything would be fine you'd be dead wrong
turns out that i've got LITERALLY just enough room for two corny kegs in my fridge
that's it, nothing more at all
so guess what me and my cousin get to do with the St. Arnlod's Elissa clone i've already got in the fridge?
JP says
drank it?
all?
JM says
now, there was only about 12 pints left, but that's still a ton of beer
JP says
uh yeah
JM says
remember that story i told you about how that one finished 4 points higher in ABV than i was expecting?
JP says
yep
JM says
yeah, that's the one
so we're drinking out butts off trying to finish the keg so i can get the Blue Moon keg in the fridge and trying to finish setting up the wort chiller
all the while (since i've been home anyways) the beer is cooking away
we finally kick the keg, and then i get a boilover
no problem, just a small mess that i'll let my dogs clean up later after it carmelizes on the garage floor
k
this is the point where it get's good
JP says
ok
JM says
Jay asks us if we would like our dessert now, and about this time anything would have pulled me away from brewing
we get our dessert, wow was it good, and she leaves for work (that's not a good part, mind you, just a fact) and we finish up the boil
at that point my cousin has to trot out, so i'm left to my devices
i get to hook up my wort chiller, turn the water on and it cools from 212-ish down to 150 in about 2 minutes, finally down to pitching temperature (about 80) in another 10 minutes, i put everything in the fermenter, pitch the yeast, put the lid on and set it in the bathtub where it will rest until it's finished fermenting
JP says
Dude...sorry to interrupt your story but I have to bail. I'm having my dad over for his birthday at 5 and I have to stop by the store on the way home still. I will leave this up so I know where you left off though and we can start again in the morning.
JM says
then, just for the heck of it i thought i'd try to rig up a swamp cooler so i fulled the tub with cold water about 2 inches deep, grabbed a towel and soaked it, wrapped it around the fermenter, trained a fan on it and the temps have been consistently 65-ish for two solid days
finished!
tell your dad i said happy birthday
what a novel huh?
JP says
Holy crap dude! That was an intense day. That was more than my whole weekend.
JM says
moral of the story? beer is so worth the trouble i go through for it
