The stupidest comment on your beer

[AwesomeSquad]

Sidenote:
At the end of the night, in a complete drunked stupor, he did in fact, "chew that crap". He emptied all the bottles (about 15-20) into one large glass and drank/chewed all of our sediment.

Hahahaha, I think I know that guy!

 

[MrInternet]

this is an appropriate response from a guy named "MrInternet"

That's a "no quote" if I have ever heard one.

Not really sure what you guys are saying, but I was being tongue in cheek? My point was that I don't/won't make beer for other people because my brewing time is valuable... plus it's illegal. My brews are always open to guests though, everyone knows that.

 

[MBasile]

Me and a group of new friends were sitting around the breakfast table the other day the night after they tasted one of my homebrews. They wanted to know all about the hobby, and I was more than happy to impart my knowledge on them; however my one friend thought he knew plenty more about beer than I...

Them: So what kinds of beer are there out there?
Me: Well they're basically categorized into...
Ignorant friend: You've got your ales, lagers, and stouts.
Me: Actually Stouts are ales
Ignorant friend: No man, there's three types of beer
Me: No, ales are brewed with top fermenting yeast, lagers bottom
Ignorant friend: No I know, I've been to the Guinness brewery. Have you been to the Guinness brewery?
Me: No, but I've been to the empire state building, and that doesn't make me an architect or an expert on how skyscrapers are built
Friends: OHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I was so bored at the Guinness brewery, except for the advertising section. The information there was so rudimentary I don't know how your friend misunderstood it.

 

[JorgeIsKing]

I actually have had some good luck with mostly understanding friends. I know I have a few stupidity stories, but none are coming to mind right now so, I'm going to try something a little different and give a stupidity story of my own.

A few years ago when I was in college, we were doing that thing you usually do on the first day of class where you state your name, interests, etc.

I stated beer drinking as one of my interests. When my teacher commented on it, obviously wanting to start a conversation about beer, he asked me what type of beer I liked to drink. I replied with Keystone Premium....

He basically gave me an "oh..." and then moved on. I can only imagine what he must have been thinking.

 

[brewthunda]

I get the EXACT same stuff from my mom.

Mom: "You don't know what kind of germs are in there!"
Me: "Mom, I do know, I made it myself. Also there is nothing that can live in beer that can harm the human body"
Mom: "You don't know that!"
Me: ::facepalm::

I'm grateful for the fact that my mom is still looking out for me at age 26, but the lady can at least have some confidence in my knowledge.

When I hear that I always respond with something along the lines of this:

"Purell hand sanitizer is 60% ethanol - that's the active ingredient that kills germs. My beer is about 6% ethanol . . . so it's like if you took a glass, filled it 10% full of straight Purell hand sanitizer and topped it off with water or whatever. Germs aren't going to grow in that."

 

[HokieBrewer]

When I hear that I always respond with something along the lines of this:

"Purell hand sanitizer is 60% ethanol - that's the active ingredient that kills germs. My beer is about 6% ethanol . . . so it's like if you took a glass, filled it 10% full of straight Purell hand sanitizer and topped it off with water or whatever. Germs aren't going to grow in that."

Boy I bet that explanation makes them want another round

 

[Joker]

I get the EXACT same stuff from my mom.

Mom: "You don't know what kind of germs are in there!"
Me: "Mom, I do know, I made it myself. Also there is nothing that can live in beer that can harm the human body"
Mom: "You don't know that!"
Me: ::facepalm::

I'm grateful for the fact that my mom is still looking out for me at age 26, but the lady can at least have some confidence in my knowledge.

First thing you need to know is you will never be over the age of 13 in your parents eyes, because if you are over 13 then they are getting old and that can't happen.

My father will talk "stupid" (perhaps simple is a better term) to me and I will always tell him remember me 39 yrs old, got a mortgage couple kids, and you know all that other adult stuff.

 

[Schlenkerla]

Not really sure what you guys are saying, but I was being tongue in cheek? My point was that I don't/won't make beer for other people because my brewing time is valuable... plus it's illegal. My brews are always open to guests though, everyone knows that.

I agree with everything you wrote thus far. A "no quote" is a no, unless you paid me this much. In your case it sounded like $200. Think if the price is right I might break the law.

I was so bored at the Guinness brewery, except for the advertising section. The information there was so rudimentary I don't know how your friend misunderstood it.

He was trashed. That's how.

When I hear that I always respond with something along the lines of this:

"Purell hand sanitizer is 60% ethanol - that's the active ingredient that kills germs. My beer is about 6% ethanol . . . so it's like if you took a glass, filled it 10% full of straight Purell hand sanitizer and topped it off with water or whatever. Germs aren't going to grow in that."

My MIL gave me a 5 gallon glass carboy, then wanted it back because a bottle that size was too much for one to drink in a day. She said I shouldn't be drinking that much. Seriously, she must have thought I was a lush.

 

[Pommy]

My MIL gave me a 5 gallon glass carboy, then wanted it back because a bottle that size was too much for one to drink in a day. She said I shouldn't be drinking that much. Seriously, she must have thought I was a lush.

5 gallons in one sitting would be quite an achievement :rockin:

 

[JetSmooth]

I have a half-gallon martini glass.

 

[Schlenkerla]

5 gallons in one sitting would be quite an achievement :rockin:

That's no kidding! Imagine how bad I would have to piss!!!

Even in my best drinking days, I couldn't do that. I'd be so trashed at 18 beers that I have to pass out. Not to mention the likely possibility of alcohol poisoning.

 

[Whut]

Neighbor: I don't like beer, I don't like hops, I like Guinness.

Me: Huh?

Edit: I only read the first page so I have no idea where this thread is at now.

 

[beninan]

from a co-worker today, "what type of CO2 do you use?"

 

[dunnright00]

Not my homebrew, but I gave my Bro-In-Law a Stone colab. San Diego Session Ale (hence the name I think it's about 4-5%), he said "Wow! That was potent! Got me buzzin' already!"

 

[JorgeIsKing]

My dad's uncle once told me that my beer was good, but I needed to add a bunch of table sugar to ramp the alcohol up.

 

[SwampassJ]

My dad's uncle once told me that my beer was good, but I needed to add a bunch of table sugar to ramp the alcohol up.

My dads uncle told me the same thing 3 weeks ago. He use to make hooch wine (welshes with several pounds of sugar) in his shed outback. (90+ heat when it was in the shade).

 

[Austinhomebrew]

from a co-worker today, "what type of CO2 do you use?"

There is Beer Gas which is 60% Nitrogen and 40% Co2....

 

[AwesomeSquad]

*At a pub with 100+ specialty brews*
Me: "Hey man, what are you drinking tonight?"
My Buddy: "Heineken, I'm a bit of a beer snob."

 

[lumpher]

There is Beer Gas which is 60% Nitrogen and 40% Co2....

people around me hate my beergas...

me: want a glass of homebrew?
neighbor: sure, if you want to give me 1
neighbor's brother: sure, i'll take 1 too
neighbor: you don't need 1; it tastes too strong, kinda like beer
neighbor's brother (not so bright): oh, ok. you got a keystone light?

 

[Pivot]

That's no kidding! Imagine how bad I would have to piss!!!

Even in my best drinking days, I couldn't do that. I'd be so trashed at 18 beers that I have to pass out. Not to mention the likely possibility of alcohol poisoning.

I dont think its even possible to drink that much in one night without killing yourself, even in someones best drinking days

 

[SwampassJ]

I dont think its even possible to drink that much in one night without killing yourself, even in someones best drinking days

Probably drown your body with too much water, not a chance in the hell the kidneys could process that much liquid, especially with the inhibition of ADH.

 

[Reno_eNVy]

I dont think its even possible to drink that much in one night without killing yourself, even in someones best drinking days

Well I should be dead then (AH! Zombie!) Drank a case (24) of keystone lights in one night... long night, granted, but still one. I'm not saying I'm proud of it, cuz I'm not, but it is possible.

 

[slowbie]

Well I should be dead then (AH! Zombie!) Drank a case (24) of keystone lights in one night... long night, granted, but still one. I'm not saying I'm proud of it, cuz I'm not, but it is possible.

You weren't quite halfway there.

 

[Reno_eNVy]

You weren't quite halfway there.

Oh I was referencing the 18 beers... I guess I forgot the train of discussion and blanked the fact that it was originally 5 gallons. Sorry, it's Nevada Day and the drinking has started very early.

 

[mikeysab]

5 gallons is impossible. You'd die of alcohol poisoning. 18 beers on the other hand is not that far fetched. I work with a guy that says he drinks 30 cans of bud every Friday and Saturday. When I played in a dart league, I would routinely drink 18 or more. Now that I'm married and have kids, I'm never out long enough to drink more than 10. I have drank a whole TAD bottle in one sitting though which is quite a bit. Maybe I should stop with my drinking stories now.

 

[Pommy]

I dont think its even possible to drink that much in one night without killing yourself, even in someones best drinking days

Well maybe this guy...

http://www.peterdowdeswell.com/Some-of-my-world-records

 

[cfonnes]

Well maybe this guy...

http://www.peterdowdeswell.com/Some-of-my-world-records

Peter Dowdeswell - Drinking
Drinking: 90 pints of beer in 3 hours

Odouls?

 

[JetSmooth]

Well maybe this guy...

http://www.peterdowdeswell.com/Some-of-my-world-records

Apparently, he also has web design in two minutes.

 

[imaguitargod]

from a co-worker today, "what type of CO2 do you use?"

That got a snort out of me. Pretty funny. I thought I'd heard everything at this point but the new ones keep coming.

 

[Schlenkerla]

Oh I was referencing the 18 beers... I guess I forgot the train of discussion and blanked the fact that it was originally 5 gallons. Sorry, it's Nevada Day and the drinking has started very early.

Even 18 beers is too much. 48 seems impossible. My point was my MIL didn't even consider the plausibility of me drinking 5 gallons of beer.

 

[boomermjc]

I took a gravity reading, a week after dry hopping. Three weeks in the primary. SWMBO wanted to taste it, it being an oatmeal stout. "oh wow this is strong" then I said, it's uncarbed and green as can be. Then she took another sip and said "it grows on you"

This is my first batch, and that is my first 2 comments...

 

[glenn514]

A few weeks ago, I brewed a batch of Cologne Kolsch. I did both primary and secondary, and a good two weeks of bottle conditioning. When I opened the first, SWMBO, who has little to no knowledge of brewing, said:

SWMBO: It's too young.
glenn: How do you KNOW it's too young?
SWMBO: I just know!
glenn: Upon what are you basing your statement?
SWMBO: I don't know. I just know it's too young!

Needless to say, I let that one go. I value sleeping indoors!

glenn514

 

[DeNomad]

from a co-worker today, "what type of CO2 do you use?"

He might have been referring to the quality of the CO2 as well, ie welding/shop gas vs gas for medical purposes. I know a fair bit about scuba diving and suffice it to say breathing contaminated gases at depth is very bad (welding O2).

That being said, I don't keg and do not know what grades of CO2 are out there.

 

[Austinhomebrew]

A few weeks ago, I brewed a batch of Cologne Kolsch. I did both primary and secondary, and a good two weeks of bottle conditioning. When I opened the first, SWMBO, who has little to no knowledge of brewing, said:

SWMBO: It's too young.
glenn: How do you KNOW it's too young?
SWMBO: I just know!
glenn: Upon what are you basing your statement?
SWMBO: I don't know. I just know it's too young!

Needless to say, I let that one go. I value sleeping indoors!

glenn514

I think she is right.

Forrest

 

[MatterOne]

5 gallons is impossible. You'd die of alcohol poisoning. 18 beers on the other hand is not that far fetched. I work with a guy that says he drinks 30 cans of bud every Friday and Saturday. When I played in a dart league, I would routinely drink 18 or more. Now that I'm married and have kids, I'm never out long enough to drink more than 10. I have drank a whole TAD bottle in one sitting though which is quite a bit. Maybe I should stop with my drinking stories now.

I'm not sure it's impossible. I've been known to throw a few back from time to time, and I've put down a 30 pack in a night. I'm not saying that I could come close to downing another case in addition to that throughout the course of a day, but I'm just your average man...

Five gallons is just getting started when you're a giant.

http://www.drunkard.com/issues/10_06/10_06_andre_giant.html

I know the stories of Andre have been exaggerated, but he was definitely an amazing lush.

 

[mikeysab]

Ya got me.....ANDRE THE GIANT can drink 5 gallons of beer. And maybe Hacksaw Jim Duggan and the Yeti. Haha, kidding. Your average person isn't drinking 5 gallons of beer in a day though. I'm a big guy and I can put it down, but there's no way I can drink 5 gallons in one session

 

[Ceedubya]

I'm not sure it's impossible. I've been known to throw a few back from time to time, and I've put down a 30 pack in a night. I'm not saying that I could come close to downing another case in addition to that throughout the course of a day, but I'm just your average man...

Five gallons is just getting started when you're a giant.

http://www.drunkard.com/issues/10_06/10_06_andre_giant.html

I know the stories of Andre have been exaggerated, but he was definitely an amazing lush.

There is a local bar owner in town that I play poker with. When they bring him beer they come by the bucket. Of course he drinks Miller Lite, but still...... I have heard many of the drinking legends of this guy, including several accounts of him consuming over two cases a day. One of these came from the bartender who was serving him.

 

[MatterOne]

Ya got me.....ANDRE THE GIANT can drink 5 gallons of beer. And maybe Hacksaw Jim Duggan and the Yeti. Haha, kidding. Your average person isn't drinking 5 gallons of beer in a day though. I'm a big guy and I can put it down, but there's no way I can drink 5 gallons in one session

Rookie mistake... Forgetting to factor in the "giant constituent".

 

[Pivot]

Well I should be dead then (AH! Zombie!) Drank a case (24) of keystone lights in one night... long night, granted, but still one. I'm not saying I'm proud of it, cuz I'm not, but it is possible.

Ummm... you realize 5 gallons is a lot more than a case of beer right?

 

[mikeysab]

Well apparently a case (24) of Keystone Light is equivelalent to 5 gallons of any other beer. Lol