The stupidest comment on your beer

[GregR]

Yesterday, 10:12 PM Today 12:14 AM

2 hours and 2 minutes is how long

I suppose I could have been a little quicker to the draw.

 

[Reno_eNVy]

And a 1 out of 5 stars review:

"Although it deserves more than one star, I'm trying to compensate for the blatant over-rating this book has received. It is obvious to me that many of the ratings are from friends or clients of their brewshop in Connecticut, USA(my home state)
The recipes seem fine for beginning to intermediate brewers, although I find them ridiculously precise with such beauties as "after 48 minutes of the boil, add so and so, then boil for 13 minutes, then add so and so and boil for 2 minutes, etc". Does boiling for 48 minutes make a different beer than boiling for 50 minutes?
What avid, advanced homebrewer would want to use these recipes for all-grain beers? Who honestly believes that you can "clone" beers using malt-extract recipes? And finally, what all-grain brewer ever goes back to using extracts once they have experienced the FAR SUPERIOR results of cereals?
I won't repeat other reviewers' negative comments (amazon.co.uk), but I wholeheartedly agree. I do regret having bought this book.
My advice for all who find this book excellent: try proper brewing with cereals and not extracts and you will experience a whole new world!"

Okay... so he gave it a 1 out of 5 because, A) Other people were rating it too high, and B) He doesn't like extract? What a D-bag

 

[Schlenkerla]

Okay... so he gave it a 1 out of 5 because, A) Other people were rating it too high, and B) He doesn't like extract? What a D-bag

He outed himself as being not-so-experienced or knowledgeable to pose a question as to the difference of time 48 vs 50 minutes make on the beer. Then to go on to say AG is better?

Dufus!!


The other (2-star) guy who wants to make a pilsner, such a neophite!!! He probably doesn't even know the process difference in making ales and lagers. Almost every modern home brew book has recipes for cream ales or kolsches. Which is close enough for his tastes and capability.

Dufus!!

 

[Pommy]

"Although it deserves more than one star, I'm trying to compensate for the blatant over-rating this book has received."

Thank god for the ratings police who does this guy think he is that his opinion should outweigh the opinions of others?

 

[mc_eric]

I was reading through some reviews of WLP 300 (hefeweizen yeast) on the white labs site and came across this...thought it belonged in here.

We have used this strain in every weiss beer we've ever brewed. We have 2 NABA medals with this as our hefeweizen yeast. We ferment at 68 degrees and get a lot the clove spiciness with some banana. My greatest compliment came when a less than beer savvy customer returned a glass of our weiss stating "this tastes like banana bread." Try throwing in some Light Munich Malts to build up more body in your Weiss!!!

I don't know why anyone wouldn't like a beer that tastes like banana bread, even if they had no idea what a hefe was supposed to taste like. I mean, liquid banana bread just sound delicious to me...

 

[caphector]

I don't know why anyone wouldn't like a beer that tastes like banana bread, even if they had no idea what a hefe was supposed to taste like. I mean, liquid banana bread just sound delicious to me...

Funny thing; there is a beer that is marketed as tasting like banana bread. They apparently put real bananas in, as well.

I got a bottle and was less-than-impressed. I don't much like isoamyl acetate and despite the apparent use of real bananas I didn't notice a positive change.

 

[FromZwolle]

i got a fresh one for ya:

my former neighbor in for a visit while drinking a bmc: reads can "lager? looks more like a pilsner to me!"

Me: sigh... polite rant about pilsners.

 

[babalu87]

How old is it.................

Really, thats the best you could come up with?

JHFC r u serious

 

[mightynintendo]

Okay... so he gave it a 1 out of 5 because, A) Other people were rating it too high, and B) He doesn't like extract? What a D-bag

I have yet to drink an extract beer that I like even remotely. If that makes me a D-bag then you can go eff yourself.

 

[Schlenkerla]

I have yet to drink an extract beer that I like even remotely. If that makes me a D-bag then you can go eff yourself.

Don't be so quick to judge. I have tried several extract beers that are great. Also several just mediocre. I think it depends greatly on technique. Most noobs are extract brewers, most experienced but not regular brewers do extract. I am a AGr and PMr. I could site countless reasons for bad beer but it has nothing to do with the extract method if done correctly with fresh ingredients.

FWIW - all extract recipes can benefit with a soaked specialty grain.

 

[Schlenkerla]

I have yet to drink an extract beer that I like even remotely. If that makes me a D-bag then you can go eff yourself.

You should join a homebrew club if you aren't already a member. It will open your eyes, make you a better brewer and give you confidence. You might run across a very good extract brewer too.

 

[mightynintendo]

Don't be so quick to judge. I have tried several extract beers that are great. Also several just mediocre. I think it depends greatly on technique. Most noobs are extract brewers, most experienced but not regular brewers do extract. I am a AGr and PMr. I could site countless reasons for bad beer but it has nothing to do with the extract method if done correctly with fresh ingredients.

FWIW - all extract recipes can benefit with a soaked specialty grain.

To be clear I was referring to beers that are only extract. I know I'm coming across as a snobbish dick and I apologize for that. All I am saying is I can tell if a beer is only extract and I'm not a fan of that. That being said, I appreciate the effort and motivation that drives extract brewing, and I feel very strongly that if you're a home brewer, your heart is in the right place. I would never, ever turn down any beer (even an extract) that was offered to me and rarely do I ever criticize. So drink up!

 

[mattd2]

I have yet to drink an extract beer that I like even remotely. If that makes me a D-bag then you can go eff yourself.

I think the ****** comment was more that it sounded like he rated the book a 1 out of 5 because he didn't like extract beers not because the book was crap.

Fair enough that you have not had an extract beer that you thought was great yet, that doesn't make you any more a ****** than saying you having had a BMC that you have liked yet

 

[Maarten]

My neighbour, drinking only pale lager, sais my ales are good, but they don't taste like "beer" (read: pale lager)

 

[Reno_eNVy]

I think the ****** comment was more that it sounded like he rated the book a 1 out of 5 because he didn't like extract beers not because the book was crap.

Exactly what I was going for. If you don't like extract brew that's fine.... but it's no basis for judging a brewing book.

 

[Bru]

From a freind to my Belgian Dubbel : "tastes like Boddingtons Bitter only better"

 

[Schlenkerla]

From a freind to my Belgian Dubbel : "tastes like Boddingtons Bitter only better"

I'm surprised he didn't say it tasted dark!!

 

[rexbanner]

I never get any lame comments. I think I just hang around the right people.

 

[MeatyPortion]

I never get any lame comments. I think I just hang around the right people.

Or the wrong people if you want stupid comments?

 

[brewnickbrew]

Sorry, I know its off topic but.....
Although I get some inexperienced comments on my beer, nothing compares to the absolute most stupid, and annoying question/comments I get from my friends' airhead blonde wife: "Are you gonna blow anything up?" or "That's not gonna explode is it?"
I REPEATEDLY get is from her when we brew at his house.

-yeah, b*tch, thats exactly my F***ing intention. I'm gonna purposely send shrapnel flying as the system was designed to do. Hope you are around to see it.

 

[alias]

Sorry, I know its off topic but.....
Although I get some inexperienced comments on my beer, nothing compares to the absolute most stupid, and annoying question/comments I get from my friends' airhead blonde wife: "Are you gonna blow anything up?" or "That's not gonna explode is it?"
I REPEATEDLY get is from her when we brew at his house.

-yeah, b*tch, thats exactly my F***ing intention. I'm gonna purposely send shrapnel flying as the system was designed to do. Hope you are around to see it.

Sounds like she wants attention.. .

 

[MeadWitch]

I don't make beer but I always get the same comments on my mead,

1. What's mead? Duh!

2. Where did you learn to make it? Did you take a class or something? Hell no!

3. Will it get you drunk? Hell yeah!

4. Next time you make some can I come and watch? Hell no!

 

[BeerPressure]

Some clown said my brown porter tasted like burnt wood.

 

[DavidSteel]

Some clown said my brown porter tasted like burnt wood.

If it was a smoked porter, it wouldn't be too far off.

 

[Schlenkerla]

Some clown said my brown porter tasted like burnt wood.

I would have asked how he knows and how often does he eat burnt wood. Last of all, was it more like hickory or birch.

 

[ak40kush]

Sorry, I know its off topic but.....
Although I get some inexperienced comments on my beer, nothing compares to the absolute most stupid, and annoying question/comments I get from my friends' airhead blonde wife: "Are you gonna blow anything up?" or "That's not gonna explode is it?"
I REPEATEDLY get is from her when we brew at his house.

-yeah, b*tch, thats exactly my F***ing intention. I'm gonna purposely send shrapnel flying as the system was designed to do. Hope you are around to see it.

for some reason this made me think about when I was doing some work at a limestone quarry. load the holes up with all the explosives ect..ect.. ' so is that going to explode?' response #1 (logical) HELL YEA IT IS!! response #2 noooo its going to make beer... i can totaly see some blonde bimbo saying that to me lighting up the entire wall of the quarry.

 

[lumpher]

blonde wife: "Are you gonna blow anything up?" or "That's not gonna explode is it?"

hold on... you ain't my brew-partner, are you?

 

[HoppyDaze]

"gives me the sh!ts"

been kegging for two years. I bring growlers to the venue; crystal clear beer...but the only reasonable explanation is that it is home brew, right?

 

[mattd2]

Took a few bottles round to the in laws for them to try, and left one there for them to have later. Explain all the: don't shake it/don't lie it down/pour slowly and keep the last 1/4" in the bottle to my father in law. When I left I saw the beer was lying down in the fridge but I thought that I'd just see what happens.
The wife was speaking to her dad on the phone a week or so later and when she hung up she told me he had said
FIL: I think that beer had gone bad
Wife: What was wrong with it
FIL: It was really cloady and tasted funny
Wife: did you follow the instructions you were given
FIL: yes, ofcoarse
Wife: so you didn't lay it down and didn't pour the whole bottle in the glass(she had seen it in the fridge too)
FIL: ummm.... I might of, but that doesn't matter..... does it?
Wife: what do you think?

 

[celticcolorado]

I know...what did I expect from my mother who is not a drinker by any stretch of the imagination. But she was being nice and wanted to try some of my beer. I gave her an ESB that I had made and her comment was "it tastes too Beery" I am sure that is not a word, but I appreciate her trying.

 

[Schlenkerla]

"gives me the sh!ts"

been kegging for two years. I bring growlers to the venue; crystal clear beer...but the only reasonable explanation is that it is home brew, right?

He prolly means gas. Beer with flavor has lots of unfermentable dextrines. No different than eating lots a beans.

Took a few bottles round to the in laws for them to try, and left one there for them to have later. Explain all the: don't shake it/don't lie it down/pour slowly and keep the last 1/4" in the bottle to my father in law. When I left I saw the beer was lying down in the fridge but I thought that I'd just see what happens.
The wife was speaking to her dad on the phone a week or so later and when she hung up she told me he had said
FIL: I think that beer had gone bad
Wife: What was wrong with it
FIL: It was really cloady and tasted funny
Wife: did you follow the instructions you were given
FIL: yes, ofcoarse
Wife: so you didn't lay it down and didn't pour the whole bottle in the glass(she had seen it in the fridge too)
FIL: ummm.... I might of, but that doesn't matter..... does it?
Wife: what do you think?

Not surprised! Most people have issues with following directions and listening. Especially since they don't realize there is sediment in the bottle.

My BIL drank the wheat beers I gave him right out of the bottle. I even gave him very nice hefeweizen glasses to use. I told him how to pour them, he thought that was too much hassle. The beer and the glasses were wedding presents.

I know...what did I expect from my mother who is not a drinker by any stretch of the imagination. But she was being nice and wanted to try some of my beer. I gave her an ESB that I had made and her comment was "it tastes too Beery" I am sure that is not a word, but I appreciate her trying.

People who don't like beer shouldn't drink beer and then complain that it tastes like beer.

 

[mattd2]

I know...what did I expect from my mother who is not a drinker by any stretch of the imagination. But she was being nice and wanted to try some of my beer. I gave her an ESB that I had made and her comment was "it tastes too Beery" I am sure that is not a word, but I appreciate her trying.

I would be confused as to whether she was complaining or complementing

 

[guindilla]

I told my mom that I started brewing (In Southern Europe is far from being a common hobby...).
Mom: Mmm... And do you save money with that?
Me: No, it's even more expensive sometimes.
Mom: Then... why do you do it?
Me: Well, for my own pleasure!
Mom: And wouldn't it be cheaper to buy beer on the supermarket?
Me: Yes, but I wouldn't enjoy it as much!
Mom: Can't you have normal hobbies for a change?

They do like my beer though, my father is a big belgium beer fan

 

[Schlenkerla]

I told my mom that I started brewing (In Southern Europe is far from being a common hobby...).
Mom: Mmm... And do you save money with that?
Me: No, it's even more expensive sometimes.
Mom: Then... why do you do it?
Me: Well, for my own pleasure!
Mom: And wouldn't it be cheaper to buy beer on the supermarket?
Me: Yes, but I wouldn't enjoy it as much!
Mom: Can't you have normal hobbies for a change?

They do like my beer though, my father is a big belgium beer fan

Anybody could use the same argument with cooking, baking or canning? That's what they don't understand.

Look at doing your laundry, why buy a wash machine and drier when you can go to the laundromat, do it fast and relatively cheap without the investment cost.

People who make their own bread will swear its better than store bought.

 

[motobrewer]

in the long term, doing things yourself is cheaper

homemade bread is better than store bought by a long shot. unless that store is called "breadsmith". they make some awesome bread.

 

[Schlenkerla]

in the long term, doing things yourself is cheaper

homemade bread is better than store bought by a long shot. unless that store is called "breadsmith". they make some awesome bread.

Yeah, when it comes to beer they seem to not understand this.

Wonder Bread : Bud Light

Sorrano French/Vienna Bread : Fantome Saison

My Bread Machine : My Homebrew

 

[Dr_Gordon_Freeman]

in the long term, doing things yourself is cheaper

If you're making BMC clones, no. If you're making Belgian Strong Ales, HELL YES!!!

 

[Schlenkerla]

If you're making BMC clones, no. If you're making Belgian Strong Ales, HELL YES!!!

I make a triple hopped Miller Lite clone that is much better than the original and cheaper. $10 for two cases.

See my pull down for the recipe. (Not the babies arm that's clutching an apple.)

 

[koomber]

Not the stupidest but I gave a landlord at a pub some beer from a kit I had made (and had managed to leave to age for 3 weeks rather than drinking once it was fizzy) and once he had finished the pint he said

Chris: "Nice. 4 Days."
Me: "What?"
Chris: "Stick a keg of that in the pub and it would sell out in 4 days"
Me: "Really?"

I think it says less about my beer and more about the palet of most beer drinkers in the UK. Then again, although it is a cheap ass kit, it makes a really fine quaffin beer for the summer.

 

[Brew Runner]

I'm confused...wasn't that a compliment?